Since 1997, you’ve been coming to BarnesandNoble.com to discuss everything from Stephen King to writing to Harry Potter. You’ve made our site more than a place to discover your next book: you’ve made it a community. But like all things internet, BN.com is growing and changing. We've said goodbye to our community message boards—but that doesn’t mean we won’t still be a place for adventurous readers to connect and discover.

Now, you can explore the most exciting new titles (and remember the classics) at the Barnes & Noble Book Blog. Check out conversations with authors like Jeff VanderMeer and Gary Shteyngart at the B&N Review, and browse write-ups of the best in literary fiction. Come to our Facebook page to weigh in on what it means to be a book nerd. Browse digital deals on the NOOK blog, tweet about books with us,or self-publish your latest novella with NOOK Press. And for those of you looking for support for your NOOK, the NOOK Support Forums will still be here.

We will continue to provide you with books that make you turn pages well past midnight, discover new worlds, and reunite with old friends. And we hope that you’ll continue to tell us how you’re doing, what you’re reading, and what books mean to you.

Reply
Moderator
Rachel-K
Posts: 1,495
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
0 Kudos

Another look at Lake (Spoilers!)

Okay, so we are in an all spoiler-zone here. How have you re-evaluated your feelings for Lake? Do you immediately understand the dilemma she got herself into, or do you think you would never be able to really trust this character again?
 
Did she do it all for Dev?
Scribe
vivico1
Posts: 3,456
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
0 Kudos

Re: Another look at Lake (Spoilers!)


rkubie wrote:
Okay, so we are in an all spoiler-zone here. How have you re-evaluated your feelings for Lake? Do you immediately understand the dilemma she got herself into, or do you think you would never be able to really trust this character again?
Did she do it all for Dev?



I can understand why Lake would keep the secrets she did. I think she worried a lot about what would happen to Dev, and a lot of it based on the man and town she had just run from. I think she needed some control of things and really didn't know how Teo would take it, or what he would be like now, how would it affect Dev to know and then maybe Teo be an SOB or something. There was a lot to consider. Its not like they were in love before, when she got pregnant and had an ongoing relationship. I think she wanted the best for Dev but was wary about people too, so she wasnt totally honest with people about it, including Dev.

I can also very much relate to how Dev felt about it, since my mom didnt tell me who my real father was until I was 15 and let me believe it was the SOB we had lived with. The thing that bothered me the most was, that she had told a lot of people before she told me. I always thought, it was my life, about me, I should have been the first to know, not others, its really the only thing I was mad at her about it.

The thing with Cornelia tho. You guys help me remember this right and Marisa if you are there, tell me if Lake planned it this way or if it just happened this way, but Lake didn't seek out Cornelia to get close to her first did she? Wasn't it more of a coincidence? Didn't Cornelia run in to Lake looking for the pasta dish she wanted? Or was it in the store and Lake told her she worked where they made it, that was it wasnt it? I can't believe I don't remember that part right now. So basically, did Lake seek out Cornelia, was it a plan, or coincidence? I would like to think, wherever it was, it was a coincidence, but either way, I think they really did click, I dont think that was fake, and I doubt Lake expected that part of it. That had to make it extra hard too. Not only because of Teo and Dev eventually, but because to me, she now had a friend she really liked, who was going to be hurt by this too.

Maybe Lake's choices weren't the best, but I think she was doing the best she could to help Dev and to protect him and she was an awesome mom with him.

Could I trust her after that? That would depend on who I am in the story but I think, after knowing all the facts and what she was handling alone, in time I could. We don't always do things right, but often we do things the best we know how at the time and hope.
Vivian
~Those who do not read are no better off than those who can not.~ Chinese proverb
Author
MarisadelosSantos
Posts: 36
Registered: ‎04-22-2008
0 Kudos

Re: Another look at Lake (Spoilers!)

The question of whether Lake sought out Cornelia or just happened to find her is an interesting one. I didn't make the answer explicit in the book, but I draw the same conclusion Cornelia draws: Lake deliberately befriended her. (Cornelia calls it "stalking" and she's not far off the mark). When they meet in the grocery store, Cornelia has already been to Lake's restaurant with her inquiry about the pasta. What happened, in the version I tell myself, which obviously isn't necessarily the "real" version or the only real version, is that Lake overheard this, and she knew who Cornelia was because she'd been watching Teo's house, trying to find out information about him and about Cornelia (remember when Piper sees her car in front of Cornelia's house in the wee hours of the morning?). So that when Lake runs into Cornelia in the grocery store and sees the food in her cart, she does some quick thinking and speaks to Cornelia.

But Lake did NOT plan for the friendship-chemistry that occurs between the two of them immediately. She had no intention of actually LIKING Cornelia, and this unforeseen connection is the beginning of her plan spinning completely out of her control.
Moderator
Rachel-K
Posts: 1,495
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
0 Kudos

Re: Another look at Lake (Spoilers!)

I was moved that my perceptions of each character changed profoundly. I find that I understand--at a gut level--the very lousy mistake that Lake made in this situation. But I also agree with Kiakar (from her comment in the Piper thread) that the way I see her changes dramatically--there is a new narrowness, hardness, even rashness, that I perceive in her choices. Remember that early and very gratifying scene when she's packed herself and Dev into the car and is headed across the country, and Dev feels genuinely relieved that she knows about his situation at school, and that she's angry and taking action? "Lake was taking charge." And Dev lightly feels sorry for that dot on the map Lake is aiming for?
 
I can see deciding that you were going to be the powerhouse mom that takes control of the whole world so that your kid gets exactly the life he deserves. And the absolutely terrible and stupid things you could do as a result of such a fantasy? Lake lies, stalks, connives, and manipulates. And she does this to people who are really significant in her life. It is a nearly criminal kind of mistake, isn't it?
 
It seems clear that Lake will be an important part of all their lives, but I also (sadly) doubt that she and Cornelia will ever accomplish that friendship that was growing so naturally between them. Do you? And will Dev ever be able to trust and rely on her so cleanly and easily as he always has? What a price--to lose that golden trust!
 
How do you see her future?
Scribe
vivico1
Posts: 3,456
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
0 Kudos

Re: Another look at Lake (Spoilers!)


rkubie wrote:
I was moved that my perceptions of each character changed profoundly. I find that I understand--at a gut level--the very lousy mistake that Lake made in this situation. But I also agree with Kiakar (from her comment in the Piper thread) that the way I see her changes dramatically--there is a new narrowness, hardness, even rashness, that I perceive in her choices. Remember that early and very gratifying scene when she's packed herself and Dev into the car and is headed across the country, and Dev feels genuinely relieved that she knows about his situation at school, and that she's angry and taking action? "Lake was taking charge." And Dev lightly feels sorry for that dot on the map Lake is aiming for?
I can see deciding that you were going to be the powerhouse mom that takes control of the whole world so that your kid gets exactly the life he deserves. And the absolutely terrible and stupid things you could do as a result of such a fantasy? Lake lies, stalks, connives, and manipulates. And she does this to people who are really significant in her life. It is a nearly criminal kind of mistake, isn't it?
It seems clear that Lake will be an important part of all their lives, but I also (sadly) doubt that she and Cornelia will ever accomplish that friendship that was growing so naturally between them. Do you? And will Dev ever be able to trust and rely on her so cleanly and easily as he always has? What a price--to lose that golden trust!
How do you see her future?



Maybe Lake was not the most prudent in how she went about what she did but I can't be that harsh on her. You said:
"I can see deciding that you were going to be the powerhouse mom that takes control of the whole world so that your kid gets exactly the life he deserves. And the absolutely terrible and stupid things you could do as a result of such a fantasy? Lake lies, stalks, connives, and manipulates. And she does this to people who are really significant in her life. It is a nearly criminal kind of mistake, isn't it?"

I don't see this as near criminal and to say these people are really significant in her life, isnt completely true at this point. Teo and her had a fling in college. They weren't significant to each other at all. Cornelia, she doesnt even know anything about her until she becomes friends with her and then worries how this will hurt her too. Dev is the only really significant one in this right now and after all he is a child still and she is a single mother and just took her son, who is a gifted kid, out of one bad situation already. What should she have done, gone to the town, found Teo's address, walk up to the door and say hi, remember me? This is your son! There is no caring for anyone, to me, in doing something like that.

I think if I had been in her circumstances at the time, I would have scoped out the situation first too. Now if that makes me a "stalker" then so be it, but to me a stalker is someone who is after you to hurt you, not checking you out to protect your son. What if she had just found him and told him and Teo turned out to be a real nut job! Here her son would be in a really bad situation again! I would definitely want to know the kind of people I was going to involve my son with and at this age in his life, if they had been really bad, or something, I think, right or wrong, I would have waited until Dev was 18 and tell him, ok this is what I have found out about your father, hes a drug addict right here in this town, been abusive to his wife, but you have the right to know and your an adult now and you need to decide what you want to do with this info and I will back you up. If she did that with Dev at the age he is, no matter how mature he thinks he is, he would be over there trying to find Teo and get in his life, probably trying to "save" him before he could really think about it.

Also, to go back to the title again, if you are alone in the world with your son whom you love desperately and want the world for him because you see his potential and you see him for the kind human he is and the two of you are tight, how quickly are you going to devulge all this information to everyone involved, even if they are wonderful people, and not worry, will they take him from me? Will he want to be with them now and not me? When everyone is hurt or mad at me, including Dev, will they become a family and me lose him? BELONG TO ME.....DEV! What a scary idea.

Lake is a woman, trying to help her son have a good life, and find his father, whom she knows he wants to know, but has a whole lot to consider in doing this. She's not a stalker or a criminal, she asked nothing of them, nor did she want to take Teo from Cornelia. Sometimes in working out how to do the right thing, you will hurt people and you can lose people yourself. I don't see her as selfish either. She could very well just stay away from them all and never take the chance of losing Dev or anyone in her life, but she does. She could have blackmailed (or tried) Teo from afar, but she didn't. She has grown to love a man, and has no idea if he will still love her once he knows too, but she knows he must sometime, because this is for Dev. How could she have done this in a win-win way? The fact that Teo and her had a baby and he was off to someone he loved and she didnt tell him then, cause he might have stayed but he didnt love her and that was in the past now anyway, made any way she told them all now, a hard thing to do and puts her on the outside of everyone's circle, but Dev has a chance with a father now. And besides, does anyone lay any blame here at Teo's feet? Is he guiltless only because he didnt know about Dev? He was having casual unprotected sex in college and moving on. He helped produce a child, but he didnt have to worry about it, until now because afterall, men dont have to carry babies, or even know they are a parent, they can just "move on", without a thought about the women they have sex with. That young moment, between them both, lead to this. Not anything Lake does alone but she alone has to figure out what to do about it now. Thats a heavy burden for someone trying not to hurt anyone.

She does come off sneaky and conniving and deceitful to those around her all at once, but think about what she has had to be alone for so long and what she is trying to do to help her son. I don't think she is trying to be a powerhouse mom trying to control the world to get what she wants. I think she is trying to do the best she can without the world then trying to take control of her and her son.

I don't know if Cornelia can ever be really tight with an ex lover of her husband, but given the situation, and given that they were never in love and arent now, and given how much she really liked Lake too, then maybe its a shame if she can't. Lake will carry all the blame in everyone's eyes close to Teo, but they will still love Teo. Maybe this is another stereotype this whole group needs to break through, blaming the woman and getting past it with the man.
Vivian
~Those who do not read are no better off than those who can not.~ Chinese proverb
Wordsmith
Fozzie
Posts: 2,404
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
0 Kudos

Re: Another look at Lake (Spoilers!)

[ Edited ]


Okay, so we are in an all spoiler-zone here. How have you re-evaluated your feelings for Lake? Do you immediately understand the dilemma she got herself into, or do you think you would never be able to really trust this character again?
 
Did she do it all for Dev?


Once I found out Lake's big secret, I felt more open toward her.  Prior to the secret coming out, I didn't trust Lake.  She was secretive to the point of being rude at times and I couldn't understand why.  Once I found out why, I was able to empathize with her. 
 
Having not trusted Lake to begin with, I am more likely to trust her now. 
 
No, she did not do it all for Dev.  She acted out of her own interests and her perceived opinions about how other people would and did feel.
 
I do think she always had good intentions though.
 


Message Edited by Fozzie on 05-28-2008 01:36 PM
Laura

Reading gives us someplace to go when we have to stay where we are.
Inspired Scribe
IBIS
Posts: 1,735
Registered: ‎11-22-2006
0 Kudos

Re: Another look at Lake (Spoilers!)

[ Edited ]


rkubie wrote:
 
It seems clear that Lake will be an important part of all their lives, but I also (sadly) doubt that she and Cornelia will ever accomplish that friendship that was growing so naturally between them. Do you? And will Dev ever be able to trust and rely on her so cleanly and easily as he always has? What a price--to lose that golden trust!
 
How do you see her future?


My perception of Lake shifted the instant I learned her secret. At the beginning, I responded positively to her primarily because Cornelia did... just as I had resolutely disliked Piper because Cornelia did. Once I got to understand Piper better, and saw her through different eyes in her caring for Elizabeth, I began to wonder about Lake....
 
When Cornelia started having misgivings about Lake ... for example, holding back on sharing her private wish to get pregnant...  I began wondering if there were hidden minefields about Lake.
 
I can't help but wonder if there isn't something morally skewed about a mother who deliberately deceives her son for years...  who denies Teo the basic right to know that he has a son... who befriends Cornelia with ulterior motives... to uproot Dev without explanation or discussion, especially a perceptive boy like Dev...  are not minor offenses. They are serious, deliberate wrongful decisions.
 
I don't think that Lake behaved honestly... and I wonder if, as she claimed, she did it all for Dev's benefit. How can lying about one's paternity be ever beneficial to a child? How can stalking Teo and his wife benefit anyone?
 
Because Cornelia, Teo, and Dev are loving, forgiving people, they will eventually forgive and trust Lake again, and their relationships may prosper again. However, her deceptions about basic core family values will ALWAYS be there... like the white elephant that no one talks about.
 
IBIS


Message Edited by IBIS on 05-28-2008 03:04 PM
IBIS

"I am a part of everything that I have read."
Scribe
vivico1
Posts: 3,456
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
0 Kudos

Re: Another look at Lake (Spoilers!)


IBIS wrote:


rkubie wrote:
It seems clear that Lake will be an important part of all their lives, but I also (sadly) doubt that she and Cornelia will ever accomplish that friendship that was growing so naturally between them. Do you? And will Dev ever be able to trust and rely on her so cleanly and easily as he always has? What a price--to lose that golden trust!
How do you see her future?


My take on Lake turned dramatically... on a dime... once I learned her secret. At the beginning, I liked her primarily because Cornelia did... as resolutely as I initially disliked Piper because Cornelia did.
When Cornelia started having misgivings about Lake ... for example, holding back on sharing her private wish to get pregnant... I began wonderimg if there were hidden minefields about Lake.
There is something morally skewed about a mother who lies deliberately to her son for years... stalking Teo's family, befriending Cornelia with an ulterior agenda... these are not minor offenses. These are serious, conscious, deliberate wrongful actions.
Because Cornelia, Teo, and Dev are loving, forgiving people, they will eventually forgive and trust Lake again, and their relationships will prosper through the years.
However, her deliberate past decisions to lie about basic core family values will ALWAYS be there... like the white elephant that no one talks about.
IBIS




OK, again I ask you guys, what should she have done? I don't mean, go back to when she got pregnant, because it already seems no one thinks Teo had any responsibility in this. But now, now that she is trying to find out where Teo is and who he is and what she would be getting her son into, to get involved at this point, what should she have done? Her ulterior motives for meeting Cornelia, were they so bad? Does anyone here really know what a stalker is, because I had one for 10 years! How is she suppose to find out about these people whom she may be putting into her son's life? Tell me what would be "the proper thing to do"? Does she really seem to be "trying" to hurt people? Is she so evil?

You know, part of how I felt about Cornelia changed too when she judged Lake by Lake's not opening up her ENTIRE life to her on their first girl's time together. Dang, I don't think I would do that with someone I just hit it off with either, even if I didn't have an "agenda". So, this is to everyone who thinks Lake is now Snake, what should she have done? She is not a stalker!

Oh and about being morally askewed for lying to her son for so many years. As I said, my mother didn't tell me my father wasn't my father and who the real one was until I was 15. You know why she said she didn't? She was so afraid I would feel she was a tramp for having me out of wedlock! She was afraid of losing me. So she had to try out some things first, test the waters and wait till she felt I was old enough to know and maybe understand. Was I mad? I was mad that I was not the first to know, but I didn't hold any "moral" grudge against my mother. She was afraid and she was in a bad marriage, horrible mess and wanted me to know about my real father. When we started looking for him, checking out some things about him before contact, were we stalkers?? The guy that called me for 10 years day and night, put things on my porch, messages on my answering machine, talked about killing me and him, if he couldnt have me, found a guy where I worked that could give him my phone number again after several changes, tied up my phone so I couldnt call out to get help, until finally, I had enough info on him and threatened him with some "mob" type guys, since the threat of police didnt work cause he hadnt "hurt me yet", and changing my number and moving again to another town, did I ever get rid of him. Tho, I wonder sometimes about him. Thats a stalker.
Vivian
~Those who do not read are no better off than those who can not.~ Chinese proverb
Moderator
Rachel-K
Posts: 1,495
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
0 Kudos

Re: Another look at Lake (Spoilers!)

[ Edited ]
Hi Vivian,
 
I hope I haven't implied that I think this character is evil! I certainly don't--I definitely understand her behavior--I can see the path that would lead into her situation. I think it is easy for a parent (who is accustomed to making all of her child's choices) to forget that the child has very separate needs from hers.  For whatever reason, Lake felt the need to keep to herself over the years. She may not have known Teo well, but she knew he wasn't a bad person. She told Dev he'd had a dad who knew about him, but was gone. Even gave him a name. She didn't tell Teo he had a son. Teo had a right to know that. Dev had never even had contact with his grandmother.  I can understand wanting to protect your child from every possibility of being hurt or rejected, but maybe the BIG question that Lake's behavior leads us to ask is--how much of a right does a mom have to do that? (And I bet family courts are full of these sorts of questions!)  And I agree that her connection to Teo wasn't significant--briefly dating--but Dev's connection to Teo is total.
 
And those are just Lake's choices before we get to our opening scene! What lovely, complicated writing makes this character!
 
And I still feel quite a pull toward this character, even with having my feelings so flipped over. She is still quite a force to reckon with.


Message Edited by rkubie on 05-29-2008 11:11 AM
Wordsmith
kiakar
Posts: 3,435
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
0 Kudos

Re: Another look at Lake (Spoilers!)

Am I the only one that really can't stand what Lake did to Dev and Teo. I think I understand the story well enought, didn't lake just walk away from teo not telling him she was pregnant with his baby. ?   I just have a funny feeling when someone sets them self up as being God, no matter what the reason. This baby was not just hers, she needed to act more responsible. It was half Teo's responsibly to decide what he wanted for his child. It seems she is still controlling everything and everybody.
Scribe
vivico1
Posts: 3,456
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
0 Kudos

Re: Another look at Lake (Spoilers!)


kiakar wrote:
Am I the only one that really can't stand what Lake did to Dev and Teo. I think I understand the story well enought, didn't lake just walk away from teo not telling him she was pregnant with his baby. ? I just have a funny feeling when someone sets them self up as being God, no matter what the reason. This baby was not just hers, she needed to act more responsible. It was half Teo's responsibly to decide what he wanted for his child. It seems she is still controlling everything and everybody.



No your not the only one, I seem to be the only one who understands why she did what she did Kiakar. Everyone else seems to have turned on her in a heartbeat. Also, I am not sure she knew she was pregnant when they broke up and he had his new girlfriend. I started two other books at the same time I was waiting for others to catch up in here and now I need to go back and check some details lol.

Beyond that, I still have not heard one person who is so mad at her now, tell me what else she could or should have done "now", not back then, when they were both in college, (you could get into a whole other discussion on premarital sex on that one), but someone who is so mad at her for scoping Teo and Cornelia out and doing it the way she did,tell me what better way she could have done it? This is the third time I have asked, and no one says, just that they dont like her very much now. I think Lake is a very ok woman, who is working on doing the right thing now for everyone involved and at a very high cost. And she has done it knowing it could cost her everything. And Linda, isnt that a bit much to say she set herself up as God? Yes she is making all the decisions but who has she got to make them with? And if you say, well Teo for one, well she has to be able to tell him first too, she has no one to talk to about this and is afraid if she tells her new boyfriend, he wont understand either. What is she suppose to do now, that she isnt? or different than she is? Or who does she talk to about how to do it? She isnt playing God, she just doesn't have anyone to help do this with. I feel for her.
Vivian
~Those who do not read are no better off than those who can not.~ Chinese proverb
Inspired Scribe
IBIS
Posts: 1,735
Registered: ‎11-22-2006
0 Kudos

Re: Another look at Lake (Spoilers!)

I think we all can understand "why" Lake did what she did when she was young... there are plenty of explanations and reasons why we do the dumb things we do when we're young and feel trapped and threatened... Her youth and naivete makes her dishonest and flawed reasoning understandable. I sympathized with her... when she was YOUNG.
 
But as adults, with the blessings of hindsight and maturity, we need to distinguish between good and bad decisions. What she decided in her 20s was understandable, but it was not an excuse to continue her deception  for years....
 
I cannot sympathize with her willingness to CONTINUE deceiving Dev, her mother, Teo, her boyfriends indefinitely. She was willing to continue her deception, and only when she was found out by others, did the truth come out. What I cannot sympathize is her willingness NOT to fix what she did wrong.
 
She would have been a more sympathetic character if she had acknowledged that she made wrong choices, and she owned up to them...  Continuing to make others suffer for our wrong mistakes is inexcusable.

IBIS
IBIS

"I am a part of everything that I have read."
Scribe
vivico1
Posts: 3,456
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
0 Kudos

Re: Another look at Lake (Spoilers!)

[ Edited ]

IBIS wrote:
I think we all can understand "why" Lake did what she did when she was young... there are plenty of explanations and reasons why we do the dumb things we do when we're young and feel trapped and threatened... Her youth and naivete makes her dishonest and flawed reasoning understandable. I sympathized with her... when she was YOUNG.
But as adults, with the blessings of hindsight and maturity, we need to distinguish between good and bad decisions. What she decided in her 20s was understandable, but it was not an excuse to continue her deception for years....
I cannot sympathize with her willingness to CONTINUE deceiving Dev, her mother, Teo, her boyfriends indefinitely. She was willing to continue her deception, and only when she was found out by others, did the truth come out. What I cannot sympathize is her willingness NOT to fix what she did wrong.
She would have been a more sympathetic character if she had acknowledged that she made wrong choices, and she owned up to them... Continuing to make others suffer for our wrong mistakes is inexcusable.

IBIS



What I am saying tho, is she is IN the process of making them right. It's not like she was doing nothing about it and got caught. Dev is into his teens now, its a good time, especially since where they were didnt work out and now he is really starting to want to know him. He doesnt know she is taking them where his father is because she is being careful, but she IS doing it. Yeah, she could have done it when he was 3 or 5 or 11 but this is when she feels she can. She got caught yes but she wouldn't have if she wasn't there working on how to do it to begin with. She knew she was going to, remember she was saying something about when her new boyfriend found out, he would leave her she feared, but that it would have to happen. This is before she got caught. She didn't expect to really like Cornelia, this makes it even harder. All I am saying is, she IS IN the process of making it all right. Just because she got hit with it first, doesnt mean she wasnt doing it or she would have stayed far away from that town. Not all life changing decisions can be done in a day or a year, when so many others are involved especially. I am saying I can sympathize with what she is going through now, not just as a kid. I saw what my mom went through trying to figure out when to tell me, and her fears of losing me, even as a baby she says. My mother and I have no relationship today at all, zip. I have been hurt by her by so many things so many times and she will do things purposely and with the intent to hurt, so I stay away from her. But this I understand, this she didnt try to hurt anyone with, she just wanted to be sure I was old enough to handle it, whatever happened, because I was the one it was going to impact the most. And she had no idea what was going to happen, but she knew I needed to know. I see the same in Lake. I think she is a good person, cares about people, I see it in how she relates to Dev and even people where she works and I don't think how she related to Cornelia was fake either. I think that just made it harder.

If the question in what makes her wrong or right, good or bad, likable or unlikeable, is WHEN she tells them, then everyone is liking or disliking her because of their own timeline of what is appropriate. Some people dont know they have a different parent out there until the one parent they do have dies of old age. I think that is a shame, cause they never get to ask anything. Oh well, I like Lake. She's a very interesting person to talk to. She isnt purposely out to hurt anyone and she is human, and in a very hard human place to be.

Had to come back to this for a minute because of something they were just talking about on tv. About the time thing, and her waiting so long. I bet you all know that the national adoption registry, where you can list your name for your adoptive child to find you if they want, or your parent can find you if you want,that you have to be 18 to use it? They were saying, the kids need time and a certain amount of emotional maturity to do this and while some kids mature younger than others, they had to have a set age for it. So they made it the legal age of 18. A kid may know they have a real parent out there but they have to wait until they are 18 to use the registry. As far as what Lake had initially told Dev about his father when he was an even younger kid than he is now, that's what she chose to tell him. Whether she knew then she would tell him the truth when the time was right, or now she believes he needs to know the truth, give her some credit for hunting down Teo, and trying to make this right now for all involved. If this is about WHEN, then as I said, after I heard them talking about that, I had to come back and share that there is a reason for waiting. I think if she would have told him the truth earlier, even before they moved, Dev would have wanted to find him enough to maybe run off and just show up at Teo's house if he even found him. I mean, look what these kids are doing now! They brought it out and not in a good way. How ready was he to do this on his own if once he had his own suspicions, he couldnt confront her about it and just flat ask. I really don't think she would have lied to him, if with what he knew or suspected now, about Teo. I think she would have told him. The kids just beat her to the punch and thats what hurt him and the others because no one knew how to handle it. It was about timing and I still say she was working on it the only way she knew how.

I also wonder if she would have told Teo sooner, NOW, if since she has seen him now and his family and even how Dev relates to them, if she had not found a man she feel for too and now had a second person to lose by telling. She was worried about it. Now, I think she was wondering who to tell first, the boyfriend,(I dont have my book on me right now and cant think of his name) or Teo. Which do you tell first, when you know this man may want to marry you? I think with him in the mix, she needed to tell him first and maybe, if he didn't leave, he could help her have the courage to tell Teo, because he needs to know even before Dev. This has to be a co-ordinated adult decision. This is really not so cut and dry. And her story really does go back to the Title, as much as Cornelia's does. Belong to me! She isn't conniving, she's a scared mother.

Message Edited by vivico1 on 05-30-2008 10:12 AM
Vivian
~Those who do not read are no better off than those who can not.~ Chinese proverb
Wordsmith
kiakar
Posts: 3,435
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
0 Kudos

Re: Another look at Lake (Spoilers!)



vivico1 wrote:

kiakar wrote:
Am I the only one that really can't stand what Lake did to Dev and Teo. I think I understand the story well enought, didn't lake just walk away from teo not telling him she was pregnant with his baby. ? I just have a funny feeling when someone sets them self up as being God, no matter what the reason. This baby was not just hers, she needed to act more responsible. It was half Teo's responsibly to decide what he wanted for his child. It seems she is still controlling everything and everybody.



No your not the only one, I seem to be the only one who understands why she did what she did Kiakar. Everyone else seems to have turned on her in a heartbeat. Also, I am not sure she knew she was pregnant when they broke up and he had his new girlfriend. I started two other books at the same time I was waiting for others to catch up in here and now I need to go back and check some details lol.

Beyond that, I still have not heard one person who is so mad at her now, tell me what else she could or should have done "now", not back then, when they were both in college, (you could get into a whole other discussion on premarital sex on that one), but someone who is so mad at her for scoping Teo and Cornelia out and doing it the way she did,tell me what better way she could have done it? This is the third time I have asked, and no one says, just that they dont like her very much now. I think Lake is a very ok woman, who is working on doing the right thing now for everyone involved and at a very high cost. And she has done it knowing it could cost her everything. And Linda, isnt that a bit much to say she set herself up as God? Yes she is making all the decisions but who has she got to make them with? And if you say, well Teo for one, well she has to be able to tell him first too, she has no one to talk to about this and is afraid if she tells her new boyfriend, he wont understand either. What is she suppose to do now, that she isnt? or different than she is? Or who does she talk to about how to do it? She isnt playing God, she just doesn't have anyone to help do this with. I feel for her.

I know its all done and over. But I wish she had told Teo even though he was dating another or whatever. That is something he had a right to know and also Dev had the right from day 1 to know his dad. They wouldn't have had to get married. Just jointly be parents to Dev. Sure he turned out fine, but still he was deprived of as a child his father. I really am not mad at Lake, just wish she could have seen clear to make a better decision when she found out she was pregnant. And you are right, when she made up her mind, to come clean after all those years, she was alone in this and did not trust anyone to help her. Does this say, its another fault she had. Not letting others help her or share some of her burden. I know what its like not having a dad at all from age eight until now. You are missing something. Like with your situation, Vivian, you didnt know who was your Dad.  I missed mine, a place was missing. And for a boy to go for years not knowing his dad, I just think its really sad and it stinks! But these stories are so true to life. Sometimes it really stinks!
Users Online
Currently online: 43 members 258 guests
Please welcome our newest community members: