Somehow i felt that Betts' sister suffered from tremendously low self esteem. In her eyes she couldn't possibly measure up to Betts so she just didn't bother. It took the introduction of a new man in her life to wake her up and see maybe she did have some value. JMHO of course. On the other hand, Kathy, you could be right she is just plain nuts. 
Dot, how did you visualise the sister when you wrote her into the story? Nuts, jealous, insecure,?????
Dot, how did you visualise the sister when you wrote her into the story? Nuts, jealous, insecure,?????Kaye
KathyS wrote:You made a good point, Stephanie, JD thinking he deserved to lose Betts. Interesting. Taking blame. He certainly had been taught well by his mother, right?WRONG! Louisa was a piece of work, wasn't she?!!!!!It is amazing, in most cases, how subtle parent's teachings can be, which influence their children. Sometimes, just by actions...but..... Except with Louisa, she wasn't so subtle!As far as Betts' sister, I was beginning to think there wasn't any hope for that girl...I wasn't, honestly thinking of jealous.I just, plain and simple, thought she was NUTS! But, seriously, I actually thought she just had other things on her agenda, like self-involvement.....wanting things to stay the same, as in HER house - her world. Her relationship with her father - to stay the same. I don't think she wanted anything to change, AFTER her mother's death. I sensed she felt her mother's loss, and she was still there, by keeping things 'un-altered'. She didn't dust, take care of anything, much. Never used the dining room...not touching what had once been a part of them. Blocking out her sister, Betts, was the only way to have everything stay just as it was, before her mother's death.I hope I haven't taken this into another galaxy!K.
Stephanie wrote:Kathy,
Good points, all. I think Betts father and sister were going through their own pain, and of course, her sister was just plain jealous of her. I believe JD thought he deserved to lose Betts. He felt responsible, as a young man will often take the blame for his mother, feeling as if he ought to be able to control all things in his life - solve all problems, etc. It take a while, I think, for most men to realize that's not possible, and some men never figure it out.
KathyS wrote:I edited my last post, while you were posting to this, Stephanie.I think that hurt, and pain, for some people, can be so deep, it simply blocks out the reasonability of thought. Rational thought can just escape you, and voice just isn't found to say the words that need to be said. As I tried to explain, I don't think being rejected by her father, and sister, and JD's not standing up to his family, helped endear her to wanting to try to come back, at that moment.JD was so influenced by his family, and that dumb guy was only thinking in his 'lower' brain mode, if you know what I'm saying! I think Dot explained it well. Whatever makes the pain go away.
Kaye, the low self esteem angle is a good one, too. But there is always something that is the cause.
I'm going to dig a little deeper into this situation, so hold on to your seat.
In the end, no matter what corner of that angle you choose to look at, as we've listed here, below, you find yourself back with Joanne and father, living together in that realm of being co-dependent upon their grief. They fed off of each other for years, sort of speak. He not wanting to travel, or leave the area; she not wanting change: It's both subtle, and obvious; either way, it happens. It's a safe place to be, to not facing grief, or any hard to face situation. They not only lost a wife and mother, they lost a daughter and sister.
If the strength to change doesn't come from internally, then it does take someone, or something, to help change and alter those feelings for us; jaring the situation back into reality. Otherwise, it's a state of limbo. Love and understanding from another human being, is always a good start. Betts came back into their lives, and changed things for them. And it was done out of love.
Kathy
momgee wrote:Somehow i felt that Betts' sister suffered from tremendously low self esteem. In her eyes she couldn't possibly measure up to Betts so she just didn't bother. It took the introduction of a new man in her life to wake her up and see maybe she did have some value. JMHO of course. On the other hand, Kathy, you could be right she is just plain nuts.Kaye
KathyS wrote:You made a good point, Stephanie, JD thinking he deserved to lose Betts. Interesting. Taking blame. He certainly had been taught well by his mother, right?WRONG! Louisa was a piece of work, wasn't she?!!!!!It is amazing, in most cases, how subtle parent's teachings can be, which influence their children. Sometimes, just by actions...but..... Except with Louisa, she wasn't so subtle!As far as Betts' sister, I was beginning to think there wasn't any hope for that girl...I wasn't, honestly thinking of jealous.I just, plain and simple, thought she was NUTS! But, seriously, I actually thought she just had other things on her agenda, like self-involvement.....wanting things to stay the same, as in HER house - her world. Her relationship with her father - to stay the same. I don't think she wanted anything to change, AFTER her mother's death. I sensed she felt her mother's loss, and she was still there, by keeping things 'un-altered'. She didn't dust, take care of anything, much. Never used the dining room...not touching what had once been a part of them. Blocking out her sister, Betts, was the only way to have everything stay just as it was, before her mother's death.I hope I haven't taken this into another galaxy!K.
Stephanie wrote:Kathy,
Good points, all. I think Betts father and sister were going through their own pain, and of course, her sister was just plain jealous of her. I believe JD thought he deserved to lose Betts. He felt responsible, as a young man will often take the blame for his mother, feeling as if he ought to be able to control all things in his life - solve all problems, etc. It take a while, I think, for most men to realize that's not possible, and some men never figure it out.
KathyS wrote:I edited my last post, while you were posting to this, Stephanie.I think that hurt, and pain, for some people, can be so deep, it simply blocks out the reasonability of thought. Rational thought can just escape you, and voice just isn't found to say the words that need to be said. As I tried to explain, I don't think being rejected by her father, and sister, and JD's not standing up to his family, helped endear her to wanting to try to come back, at that moment.JD was so influenced by his family, and that dumb guy was only thinking in his 'lower' brain mode, if you know what I'm saying! I think Dot explained it well. Whatever makes the pain go away.
Thanks, Stephanie, again, for being here with us. And to all the gang, it's been swell!
Here's to more treks down memory lane next year!
soon,
Kathy
Stephanie wrote:Dot and all,Thanks so much for joining us here- it went by too quickly, but Dot- it's always a blast. I can't wait to revisit Sullivan's Island, and I'm already looking forward to your next book club with us.Thanks to all the readers who came to see Dot- I love your enthusiasm and appreciate your sharing your thoughts and views. Stick around - lots of great authors joining us in the coming weeks.Happy Reading!
