Lisa See, June 8-12

[Lisa_See]

It's so amazing to me how much we all have in common as sisters.  The way the youngest is always the baby, even after she hits 40. The way the oldest always has to bear so much responsibility. The way saying one simple -- and truthful -- thing can cause such rifts.  Why does the truth so often send people running in the opposite direction -- as though we've done something wrong? And yet, there is no one who you can laugh with over old and shared memories.

Finally, I thought about the shared mannerisms you mentioned. For most of us there's acomes a point when we look in the mirror and see our mothers. But we also see our mothers and fathers in our siblings -- in their mannerisms, gestures, things they say, moods. 

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CinderSueCB wrote:

Going on the journey with May and Pearl, I thought of my relationship with my sister.  It was interesting, too, how they each perceived situations they experienced.  It would be interesting to see what my sister would say about us growing up.  I can tell you my sister was the baby, cuddled on my mom's lap frequently, got out of doing chores because she was the youngest (even tho I did them at her age).  If we argued, she'd bite me, I'd tackle her to the ground (learned that from my brother), and even tho I had teeth marks on my arm, I'd get in trouble because she was the baby.  She took advantage of her "youth."  LOL

I am more outgoing than my sister.  She was more defiant than me after high school, I never wanted to disappoint my parents.  She was much more dependent on my mother.  I much more independent.  But we can each say that we were "close" to our mom.  I had a great relationship with my mom.

We each got married had children and got closer.  At different times, we each experienced the pain of a miscarriage.  I lost my baby at 12 weeks, and I called my mom a week or two after and was crying for the first time to my mom.  My mom said, "Cindy, get over it, it's time to get on with your life."  I felt like I got slapped in the face.  When my sister lost her baby, my mom moved in with her for a week. 

Within 10 years we lost my oldest brother, father and mother.  After my mother died, her husband asked her for a divorce.  I then became my mother to her.  After nearly 10 years of numerous phone calls a day, asking for money to pay bills and "advising," I finally said, I don't want to be your mother, I want to be your sister.  I didn't hear from her for almost a year, and it was the first time she missed a "family" holiday.  That tore at my heart.

As my brother and I grew up (I couldn't wear his pants anymore because I got hips!), I wish I was closer to my sister.  But we are too different.  My real "sister" is my best friend who lives in another state.  She knows all my "secrets," and I feel I can tell her anything.  I never had this kind of relationship with my own.  She's not envious of me.  The only thing we don't share is the past years growing up.  That, my real sister and I share.  And the laughter from family stores we share at the dinner table.  I do share the the love of genealogy with my friend.

I have my own relationship with each child.  And they have their own unique relationships with eachother.  I don't think I have a favorite amongst my four kids (3 girls and 1 boy).  But they do.  LOL   Sentimental, conscientious, driven, outgoing, sensitive, bullheaded, short, tall ... and the list goes on. 

Sorry if I've rambled ... Cindy

P.S..  and what about similar mannerisms you share, but you're "different" people?  LOL

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[Lisa_See]

I'm aboslutely serious.  I don't think there has been a public announcement yet, but I will be there.  You can ask Larry the details now, but they'll also be on my website once I know them all.

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vivico1 wrote:

OH MY GOSH! Are you serious??? Man, I need to get back in the google group and read what you got going on! I just never saw it on your events list! YES I am close to OKC and YES I will be there! too cool. I am excited. Ok, I will check it out and put it on my schedule now! It will be great to meet you in person Lisa. I may bring a friend of mine with me who I have told about your books. We do something together once a month, so this could be our September get together. She lives in OKC. Thanks for letting me know that!

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Lisa_See wrote:

Vivian,

I'm going to be doing a series of events in Oklahoma City on Sept. 16 & 17. Larry, who you may know from the Google Group, has organized my visit. Hope that's close to you.

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vivico1 wrote:

Lisa,

Cindy from the Peony club asked me to tell you she is going to try to get in here tomorrow (Thursday) and say hi. She is camping right now and just finished Shanghai Girls and loved it. She is going to try hard to get to see you when you get to Chicago, well Lake Forest I think, the luncheon. We were saying how fun it would be to go to that together, but alas, I can't get to Chicago. If your Kansas City one was later in the year, I might try to get up there from here. That is the closest about any author gets to Oklahoma lol. Maybe I will get a chance on your next tour. Anyway, she would kill me if I didn't pass on her message lol.

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[pen21]

My first thought was since Pearl was going to find Joy and that if

there was a sequel wouldn't May also get involved and how she should be involved.

I wonder what Joy thinks of Pearl and May.
Does Joy see the flaws in both sisters?
Does Joy see how each felt they were supporting the other?
Children can be very harsh in judging a parent or an aunt.
I think it is a growing experience when you realize your elders have flaws.
Pearl and May each saw themselves as doing the right thing
and being the supportive sister.
Will Joy learn from the strengths of Pearl and May or
from their weakest moments.

pen21

______________________________________________________
Lisa_See wrote:
I like what you said about finding Joy -- both literally and figuratively.
What do you think will happen to her? What should her path be? 
I have my ideas, of course, but I'm curious what others think.

______________________________________________________

[vivico1]

Wow, that was a fast reply, we must be writing in real time here lol. Awesome, I really am looking forward to it. Look for the woman with the black cane, with a grey handle, glasses and a ornery silly grin on her face if she sees you lol. And Cindy, I have been invited to a very special event in Salt Lake City in Aug. I would love to go but we know most of my travel ideas are just dreams. It is too far for me to drive. And I can't fly. But I did look at the flights anyway. One goes up to Chicago first! Of all routes! Shall I come that way and pick you up and lets go to Salt Lake together? lol.

I will be looking forward to you coming here Lisa. You truly do make characters come alive to me and take me to places I can not go and times I can not go. Your books entertain me while making me think about the world, and myself. I hear people in the bookclubs talking about this book or that should be a movie. One we are in right now they are saying it would but I am not sure it could be. THIS book SHOULD be a movie. The whole thing played out in my head like one, I didn't just read it, or hear it, I could see it all as I read.

And I remember too, when i first started reading it and your description of May and Pearl, I quickly looked at the front to see if the two on there were just any beautiful girls picture, or were they representative of May and Pearl. They are May and Pearl. That rarely happens. Did the book cover come from the description of the sisters done in the calendar style or did you see this picture and find your description of the girls from it?

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Lisa_See wrote:

I'm aboslutely serious. I don't think there has been a public announcement yet, but I will be there. You can ask Larry the details now, but they'll also be on my website once I know them all.

---

[CinderSueCB]

Laura:  May didn't just have to give up her daughter, but she had to remain present in her life, which, to me, would only add salt to the wound. 

I know several people, who are in their 50s, who found out their aunt was really their mother.

 one of my friends never knew her real mom, but her cousins kept telling her she was the spitting imagine of their aunt.  she did know she was adopted, tho.

[Fozzie]

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Lisa_See wrote:

Lisa, did Pearl ignore how May felt -- or was she punishing her?

I think it was a little of both.  But what does everyone else think?

And while we're at it, what did people think about the difference between fu yen and yen fu?

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SPOILER 

I don't think Pearl would allow herself to really think about how May felt, so that would be like ignoring how May felt.  I remember reading how Pearl shared Joy with May but she wouldn't have to share her as yet unborn son with May.  Clearly there was sibling rivalry with respect to caring for Joy. 

Fu yen, wife, made of two parts, woman and broom.  (pg. 136 & 162)

Yen fu, servant, broom and woman? 

From this, it seems to me that a wife is a woman first and a broom second.

A servant is a broom first and a woman second.

However, the idea/notion of a wife and a servant can't be separated from each other.  Both are servants.

Yen-yen's interpretation on page 163 makes some sense to me, except for the suicidal part.

Now, a bit of confusion.  Why does Pearl refer to fu yen as meaning victim?

Maybe I've always been afraid, a victim, a fu yen.      (pg. 302)

[seagate]

Lisa asks-"What do you see happening in the next 
book? 
 My scenerio- Fate continues and fortune abounds.
Joy meets her father. Both are thrilled to be together.  
How about Pearl?  He seems interested -Pearl is not 
enthalled by him. He deceived her once- never again. 
Enter--new love for Pearl and happiness in her new
found fortune. I  also predict amazing backgound 
historical descriptions  of the China Pearl discovered
upon her return. Will the sisters reunite in China or
America ?  Wherever and whatever exicitng things 
Lisa has in store for us it will be another wonderful
read. Can't wait!         

[kiakar]

I see Pearl and Joy reuniting but maybe not forever. There would still be deep seeded resentment on Joy's side for the fact no one told her about her birth.I see May caring about Pearl's progress and finally decides to join Pearl in her search of Joy.  I think the sisters will stick together through all the sorrow that follows. Because that is all they have and each other forgives the other for the mistakes they have made.  Isn't this what true sisters do?

[vivico1]

I think you may be onto something there Kiakar. I think when Joy gets to China, she may find her father but i really don't know Seagate, if its going to be a joyful reunion or not. Or it's possible it will take her quite a journey to find him and in the process she will come to learn more about her mother"s", than she thought she knew, about what their lives were like. I am trying to think of what Shanghai and other areas will look like when she gets there, after the rape of the country by the Japanese. I think May might come and help Pearl look for her. I do not see it as an easy emotional journey for any of them, nor possibly physical. What if it did take time to find her father, following word of mouth by people describing where they last saw him and how? What if in the end, he is dead but she has come to know herself and her mothers better. I think back to Peony and the idea of "motherly love". Maybe at the end of this journey, these two generations of women will come together and who knows, maybe there will be a new generation added or beginning with Joy by then too.

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kiakar wrote:
I see Pearl and Joy reuniting but maybe not forever. There would still be deep seeded resentment on Joy's side for the fact no one told her about her birth.I see May caring about Pearl's progress and finally decides to join Pearl in her search of Joy. I think the sisters will stick together through all the sorrow that follows. Because that is all they have and each other forgives the other for the mistakes they have made. Isn't this what true sisters do?

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Message Edited by vivico1 on 06-11-2009 09:18 PM

[pen21]

Yes definitely Joy's journey will show us China and Shanghai of that day.

Joy would be comparing the Chinese community in America that she

grew up in to the China she is visiting.

We should hear and see the history through her eyes.

Like vivico1 said about Shanghai girls in an earlier post about a movie-

"The whole thing played out in my head like one, I didn't just read it, or hear it, I could see it all as I read".

I agree that Shanghai girls was very alive for me, too.

I hope to have that feeling of being in the book and seeing what is occurring.

Like the slide show of Angel Island matched what I thought.

As did the pictures of the Beautiful Girls.

It is definitely a compliment to Lisa's writing.

Luanne

[CinderSueCB]

Linda ... good to see you.  I've sent you several personal emails, but they got bounced back.  Send me another email, and I'll try again.

The other ball you've seen is for racquetball.  I love both sports. 

I loved Lisa's new book.  I think I may read Snow Flower next; have you read it?  I'm thrilled that I will be able to meet Lisa in Lake Forest.  That should be a blast!

Cindy

[CinderSueCB]

Oh, I'm glad I made my reservation today for Lake Forest.  I would have been so disappointed if I couldn't get in.  I am going downtown on Wednesday to see the play "Fidler on the Roof," so couldn't attend your other book signings. 

Thanks for the order of your mystery books to read.  Tell us, what kind of books do you prefer to write?

Cindy

[CinderSueCB]

Were these arranged marriages?

Lisa:  He had twelve children.  Five with the first family; 7 with the second.  The last was born when he was in his nineties!  That wife, his third, was only 16 when they were married.  He was in his sixties.

[CinderSueCB]

Go for it girl!  Finally, in your area.  Take Lisa to the Toby Keith bar and grill for lunch!  That would be fun! 

Viv:  OH MY GOSH! Are you serious??? Man, I need to get back in the google group and read what you got going on! I just never saw it on your events list! YES I am close to OKC

[CinderSueCB]

Lisa:  Finally, I thought about the shared mannerisms you mentioned. For most of us there comes a point when we look in the mirror and see our mothers. But we also see our mothers and fathers in our siblings -- in their mannerisms, gestures, things they say, moods. 

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I never wanted to look similar to my sister.  I didn't like her personality.  She is 5'11, brown hair, brown eyes.  I am 5'5, blond blue eyes.  But now, as we reach our mid life stage, so many people say we look alike.  I say yuk!  ha ha   But we are starting to look alike.  I see my daughters young, beautiful faces and I wonder ... will they look like me when they are old?  hmmmmm

I see my father in my brother, my mother in my sister.  Maybe it's the way we still stay connected to those who have passed on, to help keep them close to our hearts. 

[CinderSueCB]

Good to "see you" Mary.  I am so looking forward to meeting Lisa in Lake Forest.  I wish we could all sit at a table together. 

Lisa, thank you for taking the time this week to discuss your book.  You must be tired after your book signings.  I can't tell you how thrilling it is to read a great book and then have the opportunity to discuss it with the author.  I have a new appreciation for the Chinese and their struggles coming to America.  I look forward to reading your other books, too.

See you in Lake Forest in a few weeks!

Cindy 

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Nice to see you here.. We share the page in the Shanghai Girls
acknowledgements.  That was such a wonderful experience , to
be able to share our ideas with Lisa for her book "in the making".
Two weeks ago I had the pleasure of meeting Lisa in Philadelphia
on her Book Tour. She is as exceptional a speaker as she is a writer
Lisa has a special gift and we are so fortunate she shares it with us.
Isn't her new book great !!!!  Good luck on the rest of your tour, 
Lisa.  

saegate (Mary)

[Lisa_See]

These are some of the things I'm thinking.  I really loved what you wrote about learning from someone's weakest characteristics or their strongest characterists. Right now Joy seems to be working from the weakest.

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pen21 wrote:

My first thought was since Pearl was going to find Joy and that if

there was a sequel wouldn't May also get involved and how she should be involved.

I wonder what Joy thinks of Pearl and May.
Does Joy see the flaws in both sisters?
Does Joy see how each felt they were supporting the other?
Children can be very harsh in judging a parent or an aunt.
I think it is a growing experience when you realize your elders have flaws.
Pearl and May each saw themselves as doing the right thing
and being the supportive sister.
Will Joy learn from the strengths of Pearl and May or
from their weakest moments.

pen21

______________________________________________________
Lisa_See wrote:
I like what you said about finding Joy -- both literally and figuratively.
What do you think will happen to her? What should her path be? 
I have my ideas, of course, but I'm curious what others think.

______________________________________________________

---

[Lisa_See]

To answer your question, Vivian, I was about three months into writing the book when I made some color xeroxs of Chinese posters and calendars and sent them to my editor with a note saying something along the lines of, These are the kinds of women I'm writing about.  18 months later I got two sample jackets in the mail. Both were from the images I had sent. One showed two girls doing the tango -- a scene mentioned in the book.  The other was this one. It was so perfect that there was never any questions which image to use. I was so suprised and happy.  And they do so look like Pearl and May, don't they? 

And I remember too, when i first started reading it and your description of May and Pearl, I quickly looked at the front to see if the two on there were just any beautiful girls picture, or were they representative of May and Pearl. They are May and Pearl. That rarely happens. Did the book cover come from the description of the sisters done in the calendar style or did you see this picture and find your description of the girls from it?

[Lisa_See]

You should write book jacket copy. You made me want to read that book!!!  Again, these are the exact things I'm thinking. I hope I'm not being too predictable.  Of course, it's all in the journey.

---

seagate wrote:
Lisa asks-"What do you see happening in the next 
book? 
 My scenerio- Fate continues and fortune abounds.
Joy meets her father. Both are thrilled to be together.  
How about Pearl?  He seems interested -Pearl is not 
enthalled by him. He deceived her once- never again. 
Enter--new love for Pearl and happiness in her new
found fortune. I  also predict amazing backgound 
historical descriptions  of the China Pearl discovered
upon her return. Will the sisters reunite in China or
America ?  Wherever and whatever exicitng things 
Lisa has in store for us it will be another wonderful
read. Can't wait!         

---

[pen21]

I agree that Joy is working from the weakest characteristics.

When Joy starts learning about Pearl and May youth, I wonder how she

will interpret what their actions were.

But I am also very interested in how different the world Pearl and May

grew up in has changed (back to the history again). We get some hints

of that from Pearl's American friend when she comes to see Pearl.

Joy is college educated and has learned a lot of history, but is it the

history she will see in this country she has studied and heard about

from relatives. I think Joy will have a lot of surprises and disappointments

on her journey.

Luanne

Lisa_See wrote:
These are some of the things I'm thinking.  I really loved what you wrote about learning from someone's weakest characteristics or their strongest characterists. Right now Joy seems to be working from the weakest.