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Inspired Wordsmith
Stephanie
Posts: 2,613
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
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Middle Chapters: Alix's Wedding

Do you identify and/or sympathize with Alix's feelings about her "circus" of a wedding? How would you advise her to deal with Jacqueline and Susan? Or do you feel she should just accept their involvement for the sake of family peace?


Reply to this message to discuss any of these topics. Or start your own new topic by clicking "New Message."

Note: This topic refers to events through Chapter 28. Some readers of this thread may not have finished the book. If you are referring to events that occur after Chapter 14, please use "Spoiler Warning" in the subject line of your post. Thanks!

Stephanie
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twinkbb42
Posts: 22
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
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Re: Middle Chapters: Alix's Wedding



Stephanie wrote:

Do you identify and/or sympathize with Alix's feelings about her "circus" of a wedding? How would you advise her to deal with Jacqueline and Susan? Or do you feel she should just accept their involvement for the sake of family peace?


Reply to this message to discuss any of these topics. Or start your own new topic by clicking "New Message."

Note: This topic refers to events through Chapter 28. Some readers of this thread may not have finished the book. If you are referring to events that occur after Chapter 14, please use "Spoiler Warning" in the subject line of your post. Thanks!




I felt so bad for Alix. I was sighing loudly every time I read passages regarding the plans/preparations of this "Dog and Pony Show".
Even though Alix and Jordan were not paying for the wedding, that does not mean Susan and Jacqueline should be bullying, pushing their "kind of wedding" onto Alix and Jordan.
I was expecting Alix to speak up much sooner and/or really losing her composure completely. She handled the situation much better than I ever would. She was more tolerant for a longer period of time than I ever would have been. Thank God this situation never happened to me, so I can only empathize.
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maxcat
Posts: 4,012
Registered: ‎11-01-2006
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Re: Middle Chapters: Alix's Wedding

It seems like Alix is going through a circus and letting those two women push her around. After all, it is her wedding and there will never be another extravaganza such as hers. I'm for small weddings myself; we had sixty people at our wedding but I did have four bridesmaids and a maid of honor. Most of the sixty people were from my husband's side of the family and I didn't know too many of them. My family was limited to local people and it wasn't hard for them to show at the wedding. His people came from close to Allentown, PA and had to travel a distance. Anyway, I still keep hoping Alix and Jordan elope and then go through maybe the reception as suggested in the book. That sounds like a fantastic idea. Then you don't have to parade in front of 300 people!
The woods are lovely, dark and deep, but I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep - Robert Frost
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Dragonlady12
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Registered: ‎06-01-2007
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Re: Middle Chapters: Alix's Wedding

I wanted to jump in and hug her. I totally know what she went through. My husbands family took over my reception and it was the worst thing. We "had" to have it at the Officer's club at the military base because my husband's grandfather was a Ret. Lt. Col. But with that you have to pay for their food, drinks, etc. The only thing we could bring in was my cake. The waitresses couldn't be found for the cutting and serving of the cake and my mom and my aunt had to do it. The wouldn't bring out the champagne I had paid for - there was over a full case left at the end. Oh, and they kept taking the punch bowls into the kitchen and dumping them out and bringing out new ones when they were only half full - Oh, at $36 a bowl of punch. I was not happy. I finally came to my senses after the wedding and complained to my hubby's grandfather telling him all that went on - to his defense, he did go and meet with them and got half my money refunded. We could have had the small reception, I had planed for less than half what I finally spent on that farce because we only had 80 people.

I kept wanting to yell at Jordan and tell him to listen to her and stand up to his mom. :smileyhappy:
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flutteringfly
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Registered: ‎10-19-2006
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Re: Middle Chapters: Alix's Wedding

When reading I "see" the words on the page almost like a movie. It was really hard for me to not start talking out loud for the "cicrcus" to stop. I wanted to hug Alix and tell her that she could have the wedding she wants and not worry about others feelings.

Kris:smileyhappy:
Inspired Wordsmith
Stephanie
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Registered: ‎10-19-2006
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Re: Middle Chapters: Alix's Wedding

I got married and graduated from college on the same day. I was about at the end of my rope, cramming for finals, writing papers, calling florists, picking out food and favors ... I would have been THRILLED to pass the buck on the wedding planning headaches, and to have two people willing to throw piles of money at my wedding? Have at it! Spoil me, please! I could have been such a graceful guest. :smileyhappy:

I think that people place too much emphasis on "the perfect wedding" and not nearly enough focus on the marriage itself. The wedding is over in one day, the marriage has to endure. The real problem I saw was Jordan not listening to Alix, and she was right, that didn't bode well for their marriage.
Stephanie
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rjmwalters
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Re: Middle Chapters: Alix's Wedding

I felt sorry for Alix but I also wondered why she was being so passive. I understand the desire to have your future mother-in-law like you but Alix put up with a lot more than anyone ever would much less a person with her strong personality. I really got mad when the cake meeting took place and Jordan didn't back her up. There were only two things that Alix had decided she wouldn't compromise on and here he was letting her down when she needed his support. I was so happy when she told him that she couldn't marry him because he didn't put her first. I was also happy when he came to her and told her that he realized he'd made a mistake. I couldn't read these books if I wasn't pretty sure of a happy ending!
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Reenie5
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Registered: ‎10-19-2006
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Re: Middle Chapters: Alix's Wedding

Alix has her hands full, no doubt, but I think I expected her to put her foot down much sooner than she did...and I was surprised at Jordon for not actually listening to how she felt until he was practically hit over the head with it! I was pleased that he finally supported her feelings/decision about the whole thing though. I sensed that they both earned greater respect from both Jacqueline and Susan for having spoken up.
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LizzieAnn
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Registered: ‎10-19-2006
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Re: Middle Chapters: Alix's Wedding

I fully sympathized with Alix. The wedding was turning into what others wanted instead of what she wanted. I was surprised that Alix let it escalate to this point as it seemed so out-of-character for her. But then I realized that she wanted to please her future mother-in-law (big mistake!) and she was letting herself get lost in the shuffle. She was in the proverbial "between a rock and a hard place."

I could understand her frustration with Jordan - his not listening to her, his refusal to stand up to his mother, his expecting her to just go along. It didn't seem like Jordan at times, but then again, planning a wedding tends to bring out the good and the not-so-good in people.
Liz ♥ ♥


Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed and digested. ~ Francis Bacon
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johanna49
Posts: 152
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
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Re: Middle Chapters: Alix's Wedding

I did sympathize with Alix. I went through similar kinds of things. Though, it worked
out better than what Alix went through. Also I had more leverage because I paid for
my own wedding. My mother was a retired widow. I was working. I did a lot of the
hands on stuff. However, my mother did have a lot to say in the reception part of
the wedding.
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cascadegypsy
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Registered: ‎10-19-2006
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Re: Middle Chapters: Alix's Wedding

I understood why Alix went along with Susan and Jacqueline, it was so important to her that they be her family, but I think she should have spoke up sooner
Leisa
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DutchMoeder
Posts: 21
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
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Re: Middle Chapters: Alix's Wedding

I had a wedding planned in 6 weeks with just family and friends. I got the cake maker and designed it myself and my husband took care of all the DJ and song problems. Then together we chose the buffet style dinner we wanted. We did it all alone right down to me making the favors and decorations.

I felt horrible to see what she was going through being pushed and pulled in so many directions. I really wanted to reach out to her and share my story. I feel that I had the kind of wedding she wanted so badly. It's just a shame she's only words on a page! lol
Amanda
____
"If more people knitted and crocheted, the world would see fewer wars and a whole lot less road rage."
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maxcat
Posts: 4,012
Registered: ‎11-01-2006
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Re: Middle Chapters: Alix's Wedding

Now that I'm a bit further into the book, I'm glad Alix decided to have a small wedding and made Jordan listen to her thoughts on this super huge wedding planned by the mother-in-law. Asimple wedding out in the garden sounds perfect and I think she will be less stressed about the whole affair if she keeps a handle on it.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep, but I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep - Robert Frost
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johanna49
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Registered: ‎10-19-2006
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Re: Middle Chapters: Alix's Wedding

I also liked the wedding that Alix had decided on. It was much more her that the
plans that her mother-in-law and Jacqueline had planned.
Wordsmith
kiakar
Posts: 3,435
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
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Re: Middle Chapters: Alix's Wedding

Twink,You were so funny " Dog and Pony show" Hehehe. Yes, that is what all those fancey preparations were all about ! To show the dog! And not really caring about Alix's feelings.
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hocki
Posts: 6
Registered: ‎06-09-2007
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Re: Middle Chapters: Alix's Wedding

I understood Alix wanting to show her mother-in-law that she would make the perfect pastor's wife. And thinking that maybe if she didn't put up a lot of fuss about the wedding details, this might be a way of showing this. BUT, I think she gave up a little too much of herself. But most importantly, I was very disappointed that Jordan let her (or even expected her to) give up so much of herself. He should have stood up for her, and their relationship before it came down to Alix calling of the relationship.

Though if everything went as it "should," what would we talk about. :smileyhappy:

Traci
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flynn31
Posts: 20
Registered: ‎04-29-2007
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Re: Middle Chapters: Alix's Wedding

No she should not go along with the overbearing in-laws to keep the peace. It is her wedding and if she doesn't put her foot down now she is destined to years of torture caused by them continuing to run her life.
I was relieved that her husband to be finally stood up for her against his mother and sister-in-law.
The support of the grandmother definitely helped her to be strong and the friendship of Colette and other women she met at A Good Yarn gave her the strength to hold her own as well.
Author
DebbieMacomber
Posts: 162
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
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Re: Middle Chapters: Alix's Wedding

I confess that the hardest part of the book to write was the cake scene when Jordan didn't stand up to his mother and Jacqueline. At that point I almost felt that he wasn't a strong enough man to marry a woman like Alix. Poor Alix, iow she struggled to keep the peace and fit into his family, her ideal family, the one she always looked up to as a twelve year old. She wanted so badly to fit in until it got to the point they were suffocating her.
Thank you all for your insightful comments. It's really helpful to me as the writer to read your thoughts.

Debbie



rjmwalters wrote:
I felt sorry for Alix but I also wondered why she was being so passive. I understand the desire to have your future mother-in-law like you but Alix put up with a lot more than anyone ever would much less a person with her strong personality. I really got mad when the cake meeting took place and Jordan didn't back her up. There were only two things that Alix had decided she wouldn't compromise on and here he was letting her down when she needed his support. I was so happy when she told him that she couldn't marry him because he didn't put her first. I was also happy when he came to her and told her that he realized he'd made a mistake. I couldn't read these books if I wasn't pretty sure of a happy ending!


Author
DebbieMacomber
Posts: 162
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
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Re: Middle Chapters: Alix's Wedding

Liesa,

Those were my thoughts too.

Debbie



cascadegypsy wrote:
I understood why Alix went along with Susan and Jacqueline, it was so important to her that they be her family, but I think she should have spoke up sooner


Author
DebbieMacomber
Posts: 162
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
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Re: Middle Chapters: Alix's Wedding

Traci,

Another excellent point!

Debbie



hocki wrote:
I understood Alix wanting to show her mother-in-law that she would make the perfect pastor's wife. And thinking that maybe if she didn't put up a lot of fuss about the wedding details, this might be a way of showing this. BUT, I think she gave up a little too much of herself. But most importantly, I was very disappointed that Jordan let her (or even expected her to) give up so much of herself. He should have stood up for her, and their relationship before it came down to Alix calling of the relationship.

Though if everything went as it "should," what would we talk about. :smileyhappy:

Traci


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