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kiakar
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Re: weekends and near ends



vivico1 wrote:
Well, we are heading for another weekend when the clubs come to a slow crawl...or screeching halt LOL. Then just two more days after of the club, so I guess people are winding things up in here. The clubs seem to break up the last week, ever notice that? Some of us in the clubs have talked about that before.

***** SPOILER TO EPILOGUE********
Dot, I love the ending of your book. I love how everything came together and that Harrison and Mellie finally did too. I would love to think of them growing old there together, madly in love till the day they die.:smileywink: When my friend and I saw that movie two weeks ago, Evening, and had our talk, she doesnt believe people stay madly in love till they are old. I said some do. I have known older couples who have been married 50 years who were and I just fell in love with them and how they still flirted with each other in front of people too. I said, like in Golden Pond, thats how I would love to be in my old age, with someone I was madly in love with. She said they werent MADLY in love, they fell into a comfortable love by then. I said your wrong, they were madly in love, still. And like Katherine H. said on the porch to Henry F. when she thought he was dying...and he talked about how frightened he had been on that path when he got lost picking berries..she said, but you are my love, you are still my knight in shining armor! I said, they were still madly in love! I said, I am not talking about how many times can you do it and how many places in one day stuff! I am talking about being madly in love lol. She said, ok, so maybe you can be, but if I think about that versus just trying to be comfortable with my husband when I am old, then I will think about all the things I missed and i dont want to. I said, fair enough. I understand what you are saying.

That was the tail end of our conversation about the question the two older women asked each other, are you happy? And all each could say was, at times. Well I want to believe that Mellie is growing old madly in love, with Harrison, with her family, with her life! And that yes, ever time she touches him, that there still isnt "a single hair on his body" that she doesnt still know and adore! The line she almost hears her mother whispering in her ear out on the rocker," My darling girl, she would say, bringing your family together to love each other is all that matters", that a wonderful thought. And the phrase...my darling daughter gets me in the chest. A simple phrase but says such immense things. When we talked about mannners and like strangers calling you darling or such, I dont like people just calling you that when it means nothing, more like darlin' than what darling invokes and its not something I ever heard from my mother but i will tell you this, the one person in my adult life that called me "my darling" and meant it, melted my heart everytime and nearly brought me to tears everytime, it so took my breath away.

Its nice to read a book where you can sit back and take a deep sigh and be happy for all the characters. Also to have one last laugh at Harry's "announcement at dinner" that Mellie wasnt going to be dessert LOL, tho she was :smileywink:.

I just wanted to get those few thoughts in, in case people kind of shut down now in these last few days. Wonderful book and yeah, a great coming of age book for any age. Thanks for the adventure Dot. :smileyhappy:




You know, Vivian, a good marriage is kind of like a good life. You have your ups and downs I am sure. The ones I have seen are that way. No marriage is living on a honeymoon for decades, but if truly you want a partner to share your life, then you make exceptions, you share, you are honest with this person and you survive together. You have moments of happiness that you make yourself. It doesnt magically come to you like on your honeymoon the first month or so. But it happens if you wish to keep it happy. You just work at it more each year that passes.
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Wrighty
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Re: weekends and near ends


kiakar wrote:


You know, Vivian, a good marriage is kind of like a good life. You have your ups and downs I am sure. The ones I have seen are that way. No marriage is living on a honeymoon for decades, but if truly you want a partner to share your life, then you make exceptions, you share, you are honest with this person and you survive together. You have moments of happiness that you make yourself. It doesnt magically come to you like on your honeymoon the first month or so. But it happens if you wish to keep it happy. You just work at it more each year that passes.




Marriage is definitely hard work. I love my husband more now than when I married him 20 years ago but the love changes. No one knows me as well as he does or sees me as often. It's easy to forgot about taking care of yourself and your relationship during your crazy busy years. That's something you have to remember to work at and make a priority when you can. I've found that the little things are very important like giving a compliment, saying thank you, asking for something instead of telling, remembering that their time and opinion should always be valued too. I also learned a lot when I got sick years ago. My husband stood by me for everything. He was at doctor appointments, surgeries, did EVERYTHING at home and still does most of it, takes care of me and is at everything for our kids. He really stepped up when times got tough and he's never stepped back down. I am so very lucky to have him and I count my blessings every day. I also remember to thank him and to tell others how helpful he is.

I heard a great quote on TV once and I can't remember it exactly or who the famous person was that said it but the main idea was when the man was asked how he and his wife had stayed together so long he said that they had never fallen out of love at the same time. That is so true. Love cycles and has it's ups and downs but if there is always someone tending the relationship you can get through it.
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kiakar
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Re: weekends and near ends



Wrighty wrote:

kiakar wrote:


You know, Vivian, a good marriage is kind of like a good life. You have your ups and downs I am sure. The ones I have seen are that way. No marriage is living on a honeymoon for decades, but if truly you want a partner to share your life, then you make exceptions, you share, you are honest with this person and you survive together. You have moments of happiness that you make yourself. It doesnt magically come to you like on your honeymoon the first month or so. But it happens if you wish to keep it happy. You just work at it more each year that passes.




Marriage is definitely hard work. I love my husband more now than when I married him 20 years ago but the love changes. No one knows me as well as he does or sees me as often. It's easy to forgot about taking care of yourself and your relationship during your crazy busy years. That's something you have to remember to work at and make a priority when you can. I've found that the little things are very important like giving a compliment, saying thank you, asking for something instead of telling, remembering that their time and opinion should always be valued too. I also learned a lot when I got sick years ago. My husband stood by me for everything. He was at doctor appointments, surgeries, did EVERYTHING at home and still does most of it, takes care of me and is at everything for our kids. He really stepped up when times got tough and he's never stepped back down. I am so very lucky to have him and I count my blessings every day. I also remember to thank him and to tell others how helpful he is.

I heard a great quote on TV once and I can't remember it exactly or who the famous person was that said it but the main idea was when the man was asked how he and his wife had stayed together so long he said that they had never fallen out of love at the same time. That is so true. Love cycles and has it's ups and downs but if there is always someone tending the relationship you can get through it.





Wrighty! I love your post and its so very true?
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vivico1
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Re: weekends and near ends


Wrighty wrote:

kiakar wrote:


You know, Vivian, a good marriage is kind of like a good life. You have your ups and downs I am sure. The ones I have seen are that way. No marriage is living on a honeymoon for decades, but if truly you want a partner to share your life, then you make exceptions, you share, you are honest with this person and you survive together. You have moments of happiness that you make yourself. It doesnt magically come to you like on your honeymoon the first month or so. But it happens if you wish to keep it happy. You just work at it more each year that passes.




Marriage is definitely hard work. I love my husband more now than when I married him 20 years ago but the love changes. No one knows me as well as he does or sees me as often. It's easy to forgot about taking care of yourself and your relationship during your crazy busy years. That's something you have to remember to work at and make a priority when you can. I've found that the little things are very important like giving a compliment, saying thank you, asking for something instead of telling, remembering that their time and opinion should always be valued too. I also learned a lot when I got sick years ago. My husband stood by me for everything. He was at doctor appointments, surgeries, did EVERYTHING at home and still does most of it, takes care of me and is at everything for our kids. He really stepped up when times got tough and he's never stepped back down. I am so very lucky to have him and I count my blessings every day. I also remember to thank him and to tell others how helpful he is.

I heard a great quote on TV once and I can't remember it exactly or who the famous person was that said it but the main idea was when the man was asked how he and his wife had stayed together so long he said that they had never fallen out of love at the same time. That is so true. Love cycles and has it's ups and downs but if there is always someone tending the relationship you can get through it.



I agree with both of you. Marriage and any long term relationship has its ups and downs and you do have to work at it. But if its worth it, and you really are in love, you will. My friend doesnt, well she tries but it takes two and she says, when the kids are out of the nest, she will either see if he will get into counseling with her then, or she may decide to leave. She did leave once before when her boys were just in puberty and it was one of those really extreme cases you dont hear alot about where the boys just could not handle it at all and then it took the two of them to just literally hold one down to keep him calm, for MONTHS even tho they were in counseling then too. I dont know, I know she doesnt want to think about it like we did that night and is just trying to be "comfortable" but i want to see my friend in love, preferable with her husband but somebody! She is younger than I am, only like 43 and has had no intimate live in over ten years now and yet she yearns for it and that can get you in trouble, so she doesnt think about it a lot anymore, but she says, for now anyway. My mom never worked at a marriage, hence the 5 marriages and one affair-my dad.

I do know it takes work and is not the honeymoon phase for all of it. Even friendships have a honeymoon phase at first. But thats not what I am calling madly in love. My friend thought thats what I meant too. I know this older couple here that I would LOVE to have for my own grandparents and they are the ones I was saying flirt still and its so nice to see. When he just looks at her, his eyes light up and sparkle. She still has this sideways raised eyebrow look at him when he says something cute that I know she developed many moons ago as a way of showing her amusement about what he just said, without even a laugh. They still hold hands, they still hug, they still say I love you. She still tells me about how she met him on one of those 10 cent dance floors when he was in the service and how handsome he was and she gets dreamy eyed talking about the butterflies in her stomach as they danced and you can see its all still there, even if they cant dance that well with one walker LOL. Or like I said, if you ever saw On Golden Pond, who hasnt lol, you know they were madly in love. Its not the over the top honeymoon stuff no, its deeper now. It may be shown differently but its just as true. It may not be a hop in the bed every day, but it may,I dont ask about those things lol with them :smileywink: but I know there is still intimacy there of some kind. People can be madly in love and if they are, they will do any work it takes when the lows come along too. Call me a romantic, but I dont see that that is an unrealistic thing to want, because in my eyes, I have seen it. Makes me sigh too lol :smileywink:
Vivian
~Those who do not read are no better off than those who can not.~ Chinese proverb
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Wrighty
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Re: weekends and near ends

[ Edited ]

vivico1 wrote:
I agree with both of you. Marriage and any long term relationship has its ups and downs and you do have to work at it. But if its worth it, and you really are in love, you will. My friend doesnt, well she tries but it takes two and she says, when the kids are out of the nest, she will either see if he will get into counseling with her then, or she may decide to leave. She did leave once before when her boys were just in puberty and it was one of those really extreme cases you dont hear alot about where the boys just could not handle it at all and then it took the two of them to just literally hold one down to keep him calm, for MONTHS even tho they were in counseling then too. I dont know, I know she doesnt want to think about it like we did that night and is just trying to be "comfortable" but i want to see my friend in love, preferable with her husband but somebody! She is younger than I am, only like 43 and has had no intimate live in over ten years now and yet she yearns for it and that can get you in trouble, so she doesnt think about it a lot anymore, but she says, for now anyway.


Viv,

That sounds so sad for your friend. Why is she waiting to suggest counseling? Do it now!! If they put it off it seems like there will be more hard feelings. And more wasted time when they could be getting help and trying to make it work. Everyone yearns for that passionate love but that is usually short term. Love changes but it is still amazing. You have to work at it together but it doesn't have to be boring. I read someplace a long time ago that when you want to be treated nicely by your partner, treat them nicely first. Don't sit around and complain about everything they do wrong and wonder why they aren't whispering sweet nothings. Say it first and you will be surprised at the results. I tried it and it was true! The nicer I was and the more compliments I gave the nicer my husband was too. It just made for a nicer atmosphere and everyone wants to hear nice things. Not that we don't have our issues and our spats but why nit pick? We both have divorced parents and we have also learned from their mistakes. Both sets of my grandparents were married over 60 years but sometimes I think they stayed together through the tough times just because that's what you were suppose to do.

I hope things work out for your friend Viv. They all deserve happiness and it is good to hear that they are responsible parents (that's a whole other topic!) but they don't have to wait to try to make things better. I know sometimes it's easier not to rock the boat and make a change but I wish them the best.


Message Edited by Wrighty on 07-27-2007 11:53 PM
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vivico1
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Re: weekends and near ends


Wrighty wrote:


Viv,

That sounds so sad for your friend. Why is she waiting to suggest counseling? Do it now!! If they put it off it seems like there will be more hard feelings. And more wasted time when they could be getting help and trying to make it work. Everyone yearns for that passionate love but that is usually short term. Love changes but it is still amazing. You have to work at it together but it doesn't have to be boring. I read someplace a long time ago that when you want to be treated nicely by your partner, treat them nicely first. Don't sit around and complain about everything they do wrong and wonder why they aren't whispering sweet nothings. Say it first and you will be surprised at the results. I tried it and it was true! The nicer I was and the more compliments I gave the nicer my husband was too. It just made for a nicer atmosphere and everyone wants to hear nice things. Not that we don't have our issues and our spats but why nit pick? We both have divorced parents and we have also learned from their mistakes. Both sets of my grandparents were married over 60 years but sometimes I think they stayed together through the tough times just because that's what you were suppose to do.

I hope things work out for your friend Viv. They all deserve happiness and it is good to hear that they are responsible parents (that's a whole other topic!) but they don't have to wait to try to make things better. I know sometimes it's easier not to rock the boat and make a change but I wish them the best.


Message Edited by Wrighty on 07-27-2007 11:53 PM


Like I said, they were in family counseling for some time while they were separated. They arent now after a few years, they have just learned how to be "comfortable" with each other and they do love each other but they are not in love. Waiting for the counseling now is because her sister got into drugs and dumped her three little kids on her and left the state. With a full time job and 5 kids to worry about, she just doesn't want to try again right now because at least they are "comfortable" with each other. yeah its sad.

You guys are really bringing me down with this...passionate love is only short term anyway stuff. What is that all about??? You find no passion in the things I told you about the older couple i know? Or are we just being so "polite" in here that we are saying passion instead of sex, when I am talking about more anyway? Hey, even sex can last till you die or you guys just aren't doing it right lol. But theres more to passion than sex. This idea that "passion doesn't last that long" is so sad to me for you guys or you have a limited definition of it. Its like saying being romantic is only talking about having sex or leading to sex. Heck even friends can be very romantic... we are just uncomfortable with that word in friendships so we call it sentimental. I love sentimental too but you can be sentimental about an object. You can be romantic in many ways, with a spouse, a lover or even with friends and it may involve sexual intimacy but thats really a narrow definition of it and leaves out the ways you can be with a friend.

OK, I give, I am the last of the silly romantics and being "madly in love" is only the stuff in the beginning, and being "romantic" is only for lovers. Reality is just growing old "comfortably" and all you really feel for friends is "sentimental" stuff or it might involve being sexual! Now I am depressed. I give. :smileysad:
Vivian
~Those who do not read are no better off than those who can not.~ Chinese proverb
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Wrighty
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passion and stuff


vivico1 wrote:

Like I said, they were in family counseling for some time while they were separated. They arent now after a few years, they have just learned how to be "comfortable" with each other and they do love each other but they are not in love. Waiting for the counseling now is because her sister got into drugs and dumped her three little kids on her and left the state. With a full time job and 5 kids to worry about, she just doesn't want to try again right now because at least they are "comfortable" with each other. yeah its sad.

You guys are really bringing me down with this...passionate love is only short term anyway stuff. What is that all about??? You find no passion in the things I told you about the older couple i know? Or are we just being so "polite" in here that we are saying passion instead of sex, when I am talking about more anyway? Hey, even sex can last till you die or you guys just aren't doing it right lol. But theres more to passion than sex. This idea that "passion doesn't last that long" is so sad to me for you guys or you have a limited definition of it. Its like saying being romantic is only talking about having sex or leading to sex. Heck even friends can be very romantic... we are just uncomfortable with that word in friendships so we call it sentimental. I love sentimental too but you can be sentimental about an object. You can be romantic in many ways, with a spouse, a lover or even with friends and it may involve sexual intimacy but thats really a narrow definition of it and leaves out the ways you can be with a friend.

OK, I give, I am the last of the silly romantics and being "madly in love" is only the stuff in the beginning, and being "romantic" is only for lovers. Reality is just growing old "comfortably" and all you really feel for friends is "sentimental" stuff or it might involve being sexual! Now I am depressed. I give. :smileysad:




Your friend must be exhausted. Bless her! I get what you mean. They don't really have time to work on their marriage right now and they have a comfortable routine so they don't want to mess with it. That's so understandable. They have a lot to deal with.

There is absolutely passion in long term relationships! For some people it's all of the time but I think for most people it simmers at times and burns bright at times. It's just not the same as that constant "being in heat" feeling in the beginning of a relationship. With three kids we don't have sex as often as we did in the early days ( and it's never enough for my husband :smileywink: ) but we both agree that it's better than ever. I still get butterflies when I see my husband but I also get excited when we get my kids' sneakers on sale. So does he. Love changes and expands but it doesn't have to be boring or without passion. It does take work but spending years with anyone takes work. Some people don't like that part and bail out. I have a friend whose ex-husband keeps remarrying because he can't live without that initial high you get at the beginning of a relationship. He doesn't stick around long enough to realize that you can still have the high and more. It's just a bit different. Does that all make sense? Don't be depressed Viv! It's still amazing.
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vivico1
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Re: passion and stuff

[ Edited ]

Wrighty wrote:

vivico1 wrote:

Like I said, they were in family counseling for some time while they were separated. They arent now after a few years, they have just learned how to be "comfortable" with each other and they do love each other but they are not in love. Waiting for the counseling now is because her sister got into drugs and dumped her three little kids on her and left the state. With a full time job and 5 kids to worry about, she just doesn't want to try again right now because at least they are "comfortable" with each other. yeah its sad.

You guys are really bringing me down with this...passionate love is only short term anyway stuff. What is that all about??? You find no passion in the things I told you about the older couple i know? Or are we just being so "polite" in here that we are saying passion instead of sex, when I am talking about more anyway? Hey, even sex can last till you die or you guys just aren't doing it right lol. But theres more to passion than sex. This idea that "passion doesn't last that long" is so sad to me for you guys or you have a limited definition of it. Its like saying being romantic is only talking about having sex or leading to sex. Heck even friends can be very romantic... we are just uncomfortable with that word in friendships so we call it sentimental. I love sentimental too but you can be sentimental about an object. You can be romantic in many ways, with a spouse, a lover or even with friends and it may involve sexual intimacy but thats really a narrow definition of it and leaves out the ways you can be with a friend.

OK, I give, I am the last of the silly romantics and being "madly in love" is only the stuff in the beginning, and being "romantic" is only for lovers. Reality is just growing old "comfortably" and all you really feel for friends is "sentimental" stuff or it might involve being sexual! Now I am depressed. I give. :smileysad:




Your friend must be exhausted. Bless her! I get what you mean. They don't really have time to work on their marriage right now and they have a comfortable routine so they don't want to mess with it. That's so understandable. They have a lot to deal with.

There is absolutely passion in long term relationships! For some people it's all of the time but I think for most people it simmers at times and burns bright at times. It's just not the same as that constant "being in heat" feeling in the beginning of a relationship. With three kids we don't have sex as often as we did in the early days ( and it's never enough for my husband :smileywink: ) but we both agree that it's better than ever. I still get butterflies when I see my husband but I also get excited when we get my kids' sneakers on sale. So does he. Love changes and expands but it doesn't have to be boring or without passion. It does take work but spending years with anyone takes work. Some people don't like that part and bail out. I have a friend whose ex-husband keeps remarrying because he can't live without that initial high you get at the beginning of a relationship. He doesn't stick around long enough to realize that you can still have the high and more. It's just a bit different. Does that all make sense? Don't be depressed Viv! It's still amazing.



no its still depressing because everyone is equating "being madly in love" with "being in heat", or something that is every minute and missing my point or dont believe it exists past a certain point. If that is the case, then I give up, on the idea, or even wanting to think of marriage anyway. I am a romantic in a world who doesnt need them anymore.

Message Edited by vivico1 on 07-28-2007 02:26 AM
Vivian
~Those who do not read are no better off than those who can not.~ Chinese proverb
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Jo6353
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Re: weekends and near ends



Wrighty wrote:

kiakar wrote:







Marriage is definitely hard work. I love my husband more now than when I married him 20 years ago but the love changes. No one knows me as well as he does or sees me as often. It's easy to forgot about taking care of yourself and your relationship during your crazy busy years. That's something you have to remember to work at and make a priority when you can. I've found that the little things are very important like giving a compliment, saying thank you, asking for something instead of telling, remembering that their time and opinion should always be valued too. I also learned a lot when I got sick years ago. My husband stood by me for everything. He was at doctor appointments, surgeries, did EVERYTHING at home and still does most of it, takes care of me and is at everything for our kids. He really stepped up when times got tough and he's never stepped back down. I am so very lucky to have him and I count my blessings every day. I also remember to thank him and to tell others how helpful he is.

I heard a great quote on TV once and I can't remember it exactly or who the famous person was that said it but the main idea was when the man was asked how he and his wife had stayed together so long he said that they had never fallen out of love at the same time. That is so true. Love cycles and has it's ups and downs but if there is always someone tending the relationship you can get through it.





Today is our 29th anniversary and I couldn't agree with you more! Jo
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Jo6353
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Re: weekends and near ends



vivico1 wrote:

Wrighty wrote:


Viv,



Message Edited by Wrighty on 07-27-2007 11:53 PM




OK, I give, I am the last of the silly romantics and being "madly in love" is only the stuff in the beginning, and being "romantic" is only for lovers. Reality is just growing old "comfortably" and all you really feel for friends is "sentimental" stuff or it might involve being sexual! Now I am depressed. I give. :smileysad:


Oh no, I disagree there! Passion & Romance live on as long as they're nutured. Frequency dwindles a bit but intensity increases.
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Jo6353
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Re: Community Room/personal history in South Carolina/follow up



vivico1 wrote:
I just did a search about St Philip,Charleston, SC and found one reference to a part of town but mostly that yes it was a church there dating back to the 1600s. WOW, it sure has a history, and a history of disasters too! Fires,hurricanes, deaths, a major earthquake in 1886, tornadoes. This place was built and rebuilt. If anyone is interested in just a bit of history check this out:
http://www.stphilipschurchsc.org/spce/history

and if that wasn't enough, I found a St Philips cemetary there, said to be haunted. Check out this page, under Leaning Tombstone, you can click on it for the whole little ghost story lol.
http://www.askyewolfe.com/HauntedCharlestonSC.html
Down on that page a little more, not highlighted, is St Philip graveyard and a little blip about a ghost of a woman whose baby died and now she haunts the place, frequently attacking pregnant women!

My my my, ya'll do have some colorful history down there! If I knew where to check there or what to do there to further my search in person for my roots in the Tackett, Fickling, Harrell families, I just might have to save up for a couple of years to visit your fair state and find my beloved ancestors. :smileywink: cool stuff actually.

Message Edited by vivico1 on 07-27-2007 12:38 PM


My husband & I love SC and go there every year. We have found the whole SC & GA to be filled with wonderful (and sometimes frightening) ghost stories. We went to Savannah, GA one year at Halloween and did a ghost tour while riding in a decommissioned hearse. It was a lot of fun! Jo
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Re: weekends and near ends

Happy Anniversary, Jo....and many more!

K.
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Re: weekends and near ends



KathyS wrote:
Happy Anniversary, Jo....and many more!

K.


Thank you!!
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Re: weekends and near ends


Jo6353 wrote:


vivico1 wrote:

Wrighty wrote:


Viv,



Message Edited by Wrighty on 07-27-2007 11:53 PM




OK, I give, I am the last of the silly romantics and being "madly in love" is only the stuff in the beginning, and being "romantic" is only for lovers. Reality is just growing old "comfortably" and all you really feel for friends is "sentimental" stuff or it might involve being sexual! Now I am depressed. I give. :smileysad:


Oh no, I disagree there! Passion & Romance live on as long as they're nutured. Frequency dwindles a bit but intensity increases.


thank you, now tell these other ladies ok? lol cause they are making me depressed! :smileywink:
Vivian
~Those who do not read are no better off than those who can not.~ Chinese proverb
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CAT72
Posts: 43
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
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Re: Shameless Plug



dotfrank wrote:
Ok, I have a small favor to ask of each of you. If you liked THE LAND OF MANGO SUNSETS would you be so kind to go to the page for it at B&N.com and leave a nice review? And at other sites if you have the time. People who come to these book clubs are almost always extremely nice women who love books. Some people who leave reviews online at Amazon or B&N I think are frustrated writers or wives of men I used to know. Or who knows? Anyway, because they can be anonymous they say some really lousy things. A good revivew can sure help sell books and a bad one can hurt.

I will be around this weekend and online at least twice a day so if you are bored or can think of anything you might like to ask about writing, the Lowcountry or anything that's on your mind, please leave me a post. I have loved being with all of you and I think my August is going to be pretty dull!

Many thanks!





Hey, I'm going back to Lithcfield around August 6th. You can join me if you really think your August is going to be dull...LOL :smileyvery-happy:
UPCOUTRY GIRL...LOWCOUNTRY HEART!!!
Inspired Correspondent
Wrighty
Posts: 1,762
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
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relationships


vivico1 wrote:

Jo6353 wrote:

vivico1 wrote:
OK, I give, I am the last of the silly romantics and being "madly in love" is only the stuff in the beginning, and being "romantic" is only for lovers. Reality is just growing old "comfortably" and all you really feel for friends is "sentimental" stuff or it might involve being sexual! Now I am depressed. I give. :smileysad:


Oh no, I disagree there! Passion & Romance live on as long as they're nutured. Frequency dwindles a bit but intensity increases.


thank you, now tell these other ladies ok? lol cause they are making me depressed! :smileywink:




Hey, Viv! That's what I was trying to say too! I might not have done it very well though. And I don't agree with what you said above either. It can be that way but it doesn't have to. If you work at it, it can be anything you want it to be. Just like the older couple you mentioned who probably went home and got tangled up in the sheets together - and had sex too! ( not a good visual :smileysurprised: )

Happy Anniversary Jo! That's awesome. Nurture away! :smileywink:
Wordsmith
kiakar
Posts: 3,435
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
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Re: weekends and near ends



Jo6353 wrote:


Wrighty wrote:

kiakar wrote:







Marriage is definitely hard work. I love my husband more now than when I married him 20 years ago but the love changes. No one knows me as well as he does or sees me as often. It's easy to forgot about taking care of yourself and your relationship during your crazy busy years. That's something you have to remember to work at and make a priority when you can. I've found that the little things are very important like giving a compliment, saying thank you, asking for something instead of telling, remembering that their time and opinion should always be valued too. I also learned a lot when I got sick years ago. My husband stood by me for everything. He was at doctor appointments, surgeries, did EVERYTHING at home and still does most of it, takes care of me and is at everything for our kids. He really stepped up when times got tough and he's never stepped back down. I am so very lucky to have him and I count my blessings every day. I also remember to thank him and to tell others how helpful he is.

I heard a great quote on TV once and I can't remember it exactly or who the famous person was that said it but the main idea was when the man was asked how he and his wife had stayed together so long he said that they had never fallen out of love at the same time. That is so true. Love cycles and has it's ups and downs but if there is always someone tending the relationship you can get through it.





Today is our 29th anniversary and I couldn't agree with you more! Jo



So you know that what we are saying is true! Just because I havent had a sucessful marriage, it doesn''t mean I do not the receipe for one. I just havent been able to follow it quite right. Or the ingredients do not quite turn out to be geniune and do not mix well with my handling. I am so glad that your receipe has worked, Jo, you and Wrightly and the rest who have had sucessful marriages.
Wordsmith
kiakar
Posts: 3,435
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
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Re: Community Room/personal history in South Carolina/follow up



Jo6353 wrote:


vivico1 wrote:
I just did a search about St Philip,Charleston, SC and found one reference to a part of town but mostly that yes it was a church there dating back to the 1600s. WOW, it sure has a history, and a history of disasters too! Fires,hurricanes, deaths, a major earthquake in 1886, tornadoes. This place was built and rebuilt. If anyone is interested in just a bit of history check this out:
http://www.stphilipschurchsc.org/spce/history

and if that wasn't enough, I found a St Philips cemetary there, said to be haunted. Check out this page, under Leaning Tombstone, you can click on it for the whole little ghost story lol.
http://www.askyewolfe.com/HauntedCharlestonSC.html
Down on that page a little more, not highlighted, is St Philip graveyard and a little blip about a ghost of a woman whose baby died and now she haunts the place, frequently attacking pregnant women!

My my my, ya'll do have some colorful history down there! If I knew where to check there or what to do there to further my search in person for my roots in the Tackett, Fickling, Harrell families, I just might have to save up for a couple of years to visit your fair state and find my beloved ancestors. :smileywink: cool stuff actually.

Message Edited by vivico1 on 07-27-2007 12:38 PM


My husband & I love SC and go there every year. We have found the whole SC & GA to be filled with wonderful (and sometimes frightening) ghost stories. We went to Savannah, GA one year at Halloween and did a ghost tour while riding in a decommissioned hearse. It was a lot of fun! Jo




Wow Jo!

That sounds like a wonderful adventure! I might just do that one year!
Author
dotfrank
Posts: 222
Registered: ‎06-13-2007
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Re: Shameless Plug



CAT72 wrote:


dotfrank wrote:
Ok, I have a small favor to ask of each of you. If you liked THE LAND OF MANGO SUNSETS would you be so kind to go to the page for it at B&N.com and leave a nice review? And at other sites if you have the time. People who come to these book clubs are almost always extremely nice women who love books. Some people who leave reviews online at Amazon or B&N I think are frustrated writers or wives of men I used to know. Or who knows? Anyway, because they can be anonymous they say some really lousy things. A good revivew can sure help sell books and a bad one can hurt.

I will be around this weekend and online at least twice a day so if you are bored or can think of anything you might like to ask about writing, the Lowcountry or anything that's on your mind, please leave me a post. I have loved being with all of you and I think my August is going to be pretty dull!

Many thanks!





Hey, I'm going back to Lithcfield around August 6th. You can join me if you really think your August is going to be dull...LOL :smileyvery-happy:




During the month of August I am going to be in the WRITERS HOLE, finishing BULLS ISLAND which is now called, maybe, THE WATERS EDGE. But I might sneak down to Sullivans Island for some peace and quiet. The guys at Litchfield Books - Vicki and Tom - they will know! Hope to see you there - if not, maybe next year!


Learn more about Bulls Island.

Discover all Dorothea Benton Frank titles.


Inspired Contributor
Jo6353
Posts: 683
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
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Re: relationships







Happy Anniversary Jo! That's awesome. Nurture away! :smileywink:


Thank you! Jo
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