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paulgoatallen
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♥ Is it Love or Infatuation? ♥

Is Bella really in love? She describes Edward as her "personal miracle" and says that "his touch brought the strangest sense of relief – as if I'd been in pain and that pain that suddenly ceased." What are your thoughts?
Paul
"There never can be a man so lost as one who is lost in the vast and intricate corridors of his own lonely mind, where none may reach and none may save..." – Isaac Asimov, Pebble in the Sky
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twig824
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Re: ♥ Is it Love or Infatuation? ♥

I think I could be possible that she might not be IN love because shes only a teenager and this is her very first boyfriend and she might not know what love really is. Then I feel she is in love with him because the way she describes him so beautiful, untouchable and the way the react together it seems like she cant live or stand with out him there.
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paulgoatallen
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Re: ♥ Is it Love or Infatuation? ♥

Twig – everything you say is true. Good point about the age. I don't think that she'll even really know herself until later on down the road... Sometimes it takes a tragedy – or at least a trying situation – to really see who your loved ones are – who will stick by you when times are rough. I'm not sure Bella has really experienced one of those times yet....
Paul
"There never can be a man so lost as one who is lost in the vast and intricate corridors of his own lonely mind, where none may reach and none may save..." – Isaac Asimov, Pebble in the Sky
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joyd
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Re: ♥ Is it Love or Infatuation? ♥

She THINKS she's been through the worst when she thought she lost Edward- whereas she hasn't had the easiest life to begin with, she really thought that there could be nothing worse in the world than losing Edward.
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Bmarrus
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Re: ♥ Is it Love or Infatuation? ♥

I think it is an addiction. Maybe a by-product of the vampire-ness. I don't believe it is love.
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extinah
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Re: ♥ Is it Love or Infatuation? ♥

See.....I love these books, but this is one of the things that irks me.

It doesn't feel like they love each other--they obsess over each other, but they....basically, they didn't have a chance to date. OR while they WERE together, there wasn't enough detail as to why they love each other. Sure, the attraction was there at first, but that isn't enough for me.

At least with Jacob, he was there hanging out with her for month and months--and we got to see a lot of that in New Moon. We didn'tget that much detail with Edward.

Also, can she *really* and truly love Edward if she thinks that he's too good for her? She basically idolizes him......of course, he does too, but it's because he thinks he loves her. She thinks he's too pretty, too smart, too grown up--it's as though she is in love with a movie star and can't get past it.

i hope that when/if she becomes a vampire, their real love will sink in (if she doesn't get with jacob....and i have a feeling she won't!)
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paulgoatallen
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Re: ♥ Is it Love or Infatuation? ♥

[ Edited ]
Brett and Xtinah:
Good points – obsession is a perfect word for their relationship. If anyone in this series really "loves" anyone else, it's Jacob! His love for Bella – to me – seems "real" and isn't self-centered.
Paul

Message Edited by paulgoatallen on 08-28-2007 04:59 PM
"There never can be a man so lost as one who is lost in the vast and intricate corridors of his own lonely mind, where none may reach and none may save..." – Isaac Asimov, Pebble in the Sky
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extinah
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Re: ♥ Is it Love or Infatuation? ♥

Exactly--gotta love Jacob! :]

(why do people have a problem with Jacob, anyway....*grumble*)
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Sephyra
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Re: ♥ Is it Love or Infatuation? ♥

Jacob does seem to get a into some trouble with fans for being pushy and manipulative in Eclipse, but I think a lot of people tend to forget that there really are monsters in the books. So if the girl you love, who's your best friend, is about to turn into the one creature you most despise, how would you react? What wouldn't you do to stop her? I do like Jake, but I think he gets a little too much of the spotlight in Eclipse. I understand the Wuthering Heights references but I wish that Bella's choice between human life and immortality wasn't represented by two men.

But anyway, on the original topic... I know people have cited the drug comparisons, Jacob says that Edward is Bella's drug but they also tend to overlook that Edward agrees that Bella is "his brand of heroin." We all remember our first love, right? I know I do, I was engaged at 17. It's irrational and makes you blind to lots of other things, and I think the way to tell if it's love or infatuation is time. In the case of Edward and Bella, is two years enough to be sure when they walk down the aisle?
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iemdani
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Re: ♥ Is it Love or Infatuation? ♥

I think that they are definitely growing to love each other. In my own experience, I have grown to love my husband more and more each day, and each trial that we encounter only makes our love for each other stronger. I think that could very well be true for Edward and Bella.
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joyd
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Re: ♥ Is it Love or Infatuation? ♥

Sephyra-
Don't you think that the 2 years they have been together cannot be measured in "human years"- it was like 10 years compacted into the experiences they've had in the 2 years....

I think there is something deeper there than infatuation. They seem to have connected in a very strong way...

About Jacob- he is an amazing friend for Bella, but is he mature enough for her? Can't a guy and a girl be great friends without one of them getting the wrong idea, so to say?
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cranguard
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Re: â ¥ Is it Love or Infatuation? â ¥

Edward has been "looking" for his soul mate for decades. Don't you think his experience and maturity should count for something?

Bella, on the other hand, is still a teenager in human years but her maturity should also be a factor. She has acted as a parent for most of her life. She may lack experience in the romance department but that does't mean she doesn't know what she wants.

I think Bella and Edward are truly in love with each other. Their love has been tested over and over again.

There is a quote that immediately comes to my mind...if you love someone set them free, if they come back to you then it is truly meant to be?? Bella and Edward are meant to be together.
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jb73
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Re: ♥ Is it Love or Infatuation? ♥

[ Edited ]
I believe she is in love, and just the facted that she discovers that she loves both of them tells me that she is in love.. But the love she has for Jake is real and stable and down to earth and soul scattering.. But the love she has for Edward is scary, impossible, and painfully obessive.. I think her being young will be the reason she will pick Edward because when your young you want the dream and the impossible but if she were older I think she would pick Jake because he would make her and everyone else happy and when you older and have more life experience the dream and you want that stablity....

Message Edited by jb73 on 08-30-2007 03:57 PM
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goodygirl_93
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Re: ♥ Is it Love or Infatuation? ♥

Honestly it is love because in New Moon she was so depressed and was always sad and thought about him a lot with Jacob thats why she did dangeous things to remember him. She would not go to Jacob because she will not be happy and even if she does turn in a vampire Edward will still be in love with her either ways and even if she doesn't smell the same. If you read the first chapter of Midnight Sun her smell wasn't the only thing he was attractive to her appearance was too if you put it in context clues. Also Edward can't live with out her because he was going to kill himself in New Moon when he found out she was dead its love not infatuation but it could be both but love takes over it all with there relationship. Honestly I don't know how she started to figure out she had feelings with him because they did nothing in New Moon and started to get more closer in Ecplise because I think she was comforting him like it said her pain is his pain because she hated seeing him sad so she tried to everything so he will be happy so if you think about it if she goes to him she would do what he wants and will miss Edward. Also you know how your in love with a person and you think there your world and sometimes when you see them again like you get all excited everytime your around them and your like on cloud 9 and forget what your mad at because when your in love sometimes its like all you don't care about anything just that there with you like Bella when Edward came back from hunting so Paul its love they have been through thick and thin and I think she should be with Edward forever or etnerity and if she stays with Jacob it won't be the same. Though I hope this is her last book because I am tired of the dragging and if Bella doesn't become a vampire this is the last book I will read because Jacob is really like a friend I really just want him out of the book and I hope a happy ending for Bella and Jacob. So its Loveeeeee as there relationship.
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goodygirl_93
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Re: ♥ Is it Love or Infatuation? ♥

Oh Gosh I meant Bella and Edward
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goodygirl_93
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Re: ♥ Is it Love or Infatuation? ♥

Oh Gosh I meant Bella and Edward happy ending
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goodygirl_93
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Re: ♥ Is it Love or Infatuation? ♥

But what does she love about Jacob Sephyra
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NicholbyCat
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Re: ♥ Is it Love or Infatuation? ♥

I think it's very hard to say she's too young to know love. It happens differently for each person and age isn't really a factor - maturity and life experiences are - as well as the examples you've had in your life. With that said, I think Edward is definitely in love since he's "older" and has seen a lot, including witnessing 3 successful relationships.
Bella, although younger in age, has had many life experiences that have matured her. She's single handedly taking care of her father, and her mother before that. She's seen a marriage go wrong (often teaches you what not to do), and made the very self sacrifing decision to leave her mother and new husband to live with Charlie because it was best for her mom. I think that also proves how mature she is.
I still really think she's not in love with Jake - this is her confusing her brotherly love for him with his overwhelming attraction and love for her. It's hard not to get caught up in the moment, especially when making life altering decisions (vamp or no vamp - marry Edward or not).
So, to sum up this very long message: yes, I think they're in love. The kind that will grow over time - hopefully a very long time! :smileyhappy:
A good book is the best of friends. -Old English Proverb
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extinah
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Re: ♥ Is it Love or Infatuation? ♥

I still disagree; I think she IS in love with both people at the same time. I'm sure we won't convince people one way or another.

Well I'll try haha:

I know I already osted this somewhere (in here?)

http://www.stepheniemeyer.com/ecl_faq.html

"Q. What’s the deal with Bella just falling in love with Jacob in the eleventh hour of Eclipse? Don’t you believe in true love anymore? What happened to blacken your soul, woman??

A. First of all, let me say that I do believe in true love. But I also deeply believe in the complexity, variety, and downright insanity of love. A lucky person loves hundreds of people in their lives, all in different ways, family love, friendship love, romantic love, all in so many shades and depths. I don’t think you lose your ability—or right—to have true love by loving more than one person. In part, this is true because you never love two people the same way. Another part is that, if you’re lucky, you learn to love better with practice. The bottom line is that you have to choose who you are going to commit to—that’s the foundation of true love, not a lack of other options.

Next, Bella does not fall in love with Jacob in Eclipse. Bella falls in love with Jacob in New Moon. I think it’s easy to understand why this fact doesn’t occur to her. Bella has only fallen in love one time, and it was a very sudden, dramatic, sweep-you-off-your-feet, change-your-world, magical, passionate, all-consuming thing (see: Twilight). Can you blame her for not recognizing a much more subtle kind of falling-in-love?

Does this love devaluate her love for Edward? Not for me. For me, it makes that perfect true love stronger. Bella has another option. She has a really good one. An option that’s easier in many ways, that takes nothing—like her family, present or future—away from her. She would have love, and friendship, and family—an enviable human future. But she chooses Edward over all of this. This makes it real for me."
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Iwant2read
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Re: ♥ Is it Love or Infatuation? ♥

I liked how Jacob put it. It was something like, Edward is her drug and he her sun. I think she is in love with both, but needs Edward. It's a honest sorta love. I've been through it. *shrug*
~I'll be your Bella if you'll be my Edward~
(aka...hopeless romantic)