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Lola413
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Registered: ‎09-17-2007
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Re: ♥ Is it Love or Infatuation? ♥

Just curious...when did love not become self-centered? How can you take yourself out of the love equation? You're focused on how you feel and how that other person makes you feel, and your greatest wish is that that person feels the same way about you. And if they don't return the feelings, you can't help but think about how that makes you feel. To me, that's pretty self-centered.

Additionally, in regards to Jake, Bella is incredibly not self-centered. Her only concern seems to be how he feels, his pain. She certainly grieves, but she doesn't share that grief with Jake because she doesn't want to cause him anymore pain. That's an incredibly mature, and not self-centered, thing to do.

On a side note - has anyone else out there experienced the kind of love Bella and Edward have? If so, are you with your soul mate today?
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jmillam
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Re: ♥ Is it Love or Infatuation? ♥

Bella and Edward remind me a little of Romeo and Juliet. She's young and impetuous and the "love" is more like an addiction. I think that young love or first love is often like this more of an addiction than true, mature love. Think of Bella's reaction in New Moon-- she literally disappears mentally for months, quite an immature reaction to a loss. Perhaps it is Bella who is like R & J-- she's young, impetuous and acts without thinking about consequences. How many times does she endanger those she cares about by her actions???

There is no doubt that she believes that she is in love. But I am doubtful that it is true, enduring love on her part. The scary part is that once she makes the decision to turn, there is no turning back.
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extinah
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Re: ♥ Is it Love or Infatuation? ♥

[ Edited ]

jmillam wrote:
Bella and Edward remind me a little of Romeo and Juliet. She's young and impetuous and the "love" is more like an addiction. I think that young love or first love is often like this more of an addiction than true, mature love. Think of Bella's reaction in New Moon-- she literally disappears mentally for months, quite an immature reaction to a loss. Perhaps it is Bella who is like R & J-- she's young, impetuous and acts without thinking about consequences. How many times does she endanger those she cares about by her actions???

There is no doubt that she believes that she is in love. But I am doubtful that it is true, enduring love on her part. The scary part is that once she makes the decision to turn, there is no turning back.




I've made that reference about their love being like Romeo and Juliet--and I think you're right; it's *Bella's* love that is like that. I'm sure Edward loves her just as much, but the *way* he loves isn't like her love.

That being said though, that's not necessarily a healthy type of love (as per my college course regarding relationships (soc 130). In fact, it is downright unhealthy. I hope they come out of the honeymoon phase and start displaying a healthy love relationship.

Message Edited by extinah on 09-18-2007 01:22 PM
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kraziekatie24
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Re: ♥ Is it Love or Infatuation? ♥

i really hoep that bella loves edward. he seems so much better than jake.

but when jake kised bella, you kinda knew that there was something there that there wasn't with edward....

oh well, bellas' made her choice.
______________________________________________________________

-Kate

Hey Stephen, I could give you fifty reasons why I should be the one you chose. Those other girls, well, they're beautiful, but would they write a song for you?

hisgoldeneyesmesmorizedme

book nerd. music freak. movie fanatic.
major obsesser over so many things.

I love to read and write poetry/lyrics and short stories. The layers of music fascinates me. Someday, I want to do movie soundtracks, maybe, or teach. The book to movie transition fascinates me to the extreme. I've been mesmorized by the way Harry Potter and Twilight and so many others have been brought into movies is something I think I would love to do.
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arochellep
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Re: ♥ Is it Love or Infatuation? ♥

Bella and Edward seem to have a 'natural' attraction to each other that I feel just has not been explained yet and the attraction to Jacob seems more like 'human' love. (I enjoy Bella and Jacob's interaction a lot more). Its seems like Edward unexplicably needs or thirsts for Bella, but I think she could live without him as depicted in New Moon, especially since she found Jacob such a great distraction. I am not really sure she can live without Jacob though. I think we will find that she is Jacob's imprint (another 'natural' attraction?).

There is something strange yet wonderful about Bella that I feel is yet to be explained. She may be some other kind of fey or creature. SM has gone as far to let us know that her mind cannot be read by the vampires and Edward is extremely attracted to her as are all the vampires that she comes in contact with. They are very beautiful creatures that find such a simply, plain girl too tempting to ignore. There's more to this than what we have been told. Perhaps she will reveal other special qualties of Bella as the story unfolds.
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gabbisunshine
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Re: ♥ Is it Love or Infatuation? ♥

the first time i read these books i totally agreed with everything that you said UNTIL i actually thought i was in love and blah blah blah
i think that she seems obsessed and infatuated only because we're seeing it through her eyes and when you like or love someone everything about them is magnified.
but i dont think it is just puppy love.
i think it's real
because we've seen the alternative.
we've seen her other choices
and we've seen her stop and think for a minute on whether or not this is truly what she wants.
edward has even told her that that was the beatuiful thing about being human, you change.
and i think that bella has changed alot.
and i think that they truly do need each other.
 
yeah i dont know if that made any sense lol.
:]
I run with the Vampires.

you REEK of werewolf.



:}D ---- mister mustache owns.
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xovolleyballxo
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Re: ♥ Is it Love or Infatuation? ♥

I really believe Bella is in love with Edward. Because when she went through all those months without him you saw what she went through and the withdraw she had from Edward. If Edward might not have come back when he did things might be different she might have really started to fall for just jacob but he did come back and she does Edward. She cant live with him
"Edward, I know who I can't live without."
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twilightgroupie
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Re: ♥ Is it Love or Infatuation? ♥



Lola413 wrote:


On a side note - has anyone else out there experienced the kind of love Bella and Edward have? If so, are you with your soul mate today?




yep. passionately married to him for 10 years, 3 kids. (am i the only "old" person here?? - i hope you all don't mind if i chime in). Anyway, I'm a HUGE twilight fan. ANd a huge Edward and bella fan. I absolutely think they are in love. In another thread gabbisunshine wrote:
i just feel that jacob is the "it would be perfect happy go-lucky life" and edward is the "air in my lungs soulmates kinda life" and i replied, "i'd personally rather end up with a "take my breath away" for eternity than a happy go lucky life. to me it's a passion, no passion choice." happy go lucky works for awhile but eventually it becomes time to grow up and be responsible. If there's no passion in a relationship, being responsible would get old real fast. and like someone else pointed out, she did experience love with someone else, and still chose edward. i think it's a love and destiny type thing.
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Lizy
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Re: ♥ Is it Love or Infatuation? ♥

I agree with you.
 
They may be a kind of wish to stay with the safest option, as would be Jacob, but eventually you will find yourself missing the passion, and rethinking if you made the right choice. And that is not fair for the person that is with you.
 
If she chosess Jacob, she would regret it in the end, making Jacob suffer, making her self unhappy and even I think Edward would take her back if she wants to......... would she be that horrible person to leave Jacob and ask Edward to take her back and forget everything? I think that if she stays with Jacob, she would end up hurting them both and herself.
 
When you know where you want to be, i doesnt matter if it is the correct thing, what everyone spects you to do (like grow old, have kids, be human in this case) there is no case in deny it.
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zimmyzam
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Re: ♥ Is it Love or Infatuation? ♥

Arochellep, there's a problem with your imprint theory-- Jake didn't. Stephenie Meyer told us that.
 
I believe in her Eclipse FAQ, it talks about him imprinting... She says he hasn't imprinted on anyone yet, and when he was staring at her somewhere in the end of Eclipse (I forgot where she said), he was tryign to MAKE himself imprint on her. So poo for that. (that would've been even MORE horrible, because then Jacob would be dissapointed on a HUGE scale...) Plus, he saw her after he went wolf, and didn't go ga-ga. It happens right after you go wolf for the first time and then see the person. I think that he won't imprint till he gets over Bella, though, at least a little- it's like he can't /see/ anyone now, Bella's clouding his view.
 
I think that no matter what, hands-down, Edward loves Bella. Too much support on that theory. I was sort of iffy on whether or not Bella was /truely in love/ with Edward after I read some skeptics talking, but then I read some more FAQs, and, well, if Stephenie Meyer says Bella's in l-o-v-e with him, then I can't disagree :smileywink:
 
As for Jacob, poor guy, I wish he would imprint and go away, for the sake of everyone o-o; Make Bella stop feeling so bad, get him of Edward's chest, and make Jake a happy guy.
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angelofmusic96
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Re: ♥ Is it Love or Infatuation? ♥



joyd wrote:
Sephyra-
Don't you think that the 2 years they have been together cannot be measured in "human years"- it was like 10 years compacted into the experiences they've had in the 2 years....

I think there is something deeper there than infatuation. They seem to have connected in a very strong way...

About Jacob- he is an amazing friend for Bella, but is he mature enough for her? Can't a guy and a girl be great friends without one of them getting the wrong idea, so to say?

About he last thing you mentioned, I disagree. If you read in Twilight, Bella leads Jacob on to hear all of his stories. He got he idea that Bella liked him.
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gabbisunshine
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Re: ♥ Is it Love or Infatuation? ♥

stephenie said this somewhere, that she feels defensive for edward because people dont know him like she does. and this isnt the first place ive seen people doubt his affections for bella. i mean i've even wondered if it would really last. i think after midnight sun, and we get his account it will be more clear.
 
 Bella's old for her age. that message is made very clear in twilight. and i dont think we some of the passion behind their relationship (bella and edwards) just because its overshadowed with 1) Edward's thirst for her blood 2) some other vampire trying to off her andd 3) her trying to make up with jake. i think that, at least for right now, they love each other. like real love. she was able to forgive him, even after she found happiness with jacob, she was finally getting along. how many people would be able to totally 100% forgive someone for promising all of those things and simply leaving like that?
 
i think they are like Jasper and Alice, the kind of unseen connection (edward and bella)
and jake and bella together remind me of Rosalie and Emmett.
very physical
I run with the Vampires.

you REEK of werewolf.



:}D ---- mister mustache owns.
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gabbisunshine
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Re: â ¥ Is it Love or Infatuation? â ¥



cranguard wrote:
Edward has been "looking" for his soul mate for decades. Don't you think his experience and maturity should count for something?

Bella, on the other hand, is still a teenager in human years but her maturity should also be a factor. She has acted as a parent for most of her life. She may lack experience in the romance department but that does't mean she doesn't know what she wants.

I think Bella and Edward are truly in love with each other. Their love has been tested over and over again.

There is a quote that immediately comes to my mind...if you love someone set them free, if they come back to you then it is truly meant to be?? Bella and Edward are meant to be together.

i didnt see this when i was typing up my other response.
this is EXACTLY what i was trying to say
*hands a cookie*
I run with the Vampires.

you REEK of werewolf.



:}D ---- mister mustache owns.
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xtwilightx
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Re: ♥ Is it Love or Infatuation? ♥

like you said sometimes a big trajedy has to happen but if i recall the biggest trajedy came in new moon when Edwardd left Bella. I dont know but i think that if Bella could be that deep in depreession she knows what she feels and thats shes in love. she may be young but the way she sees Edward is indescribable. She knows shes found him and shes so willing to spend the rest of her life with him that she would give up her friends and family! I dont know but i think thats love.
 
 
 
 
"The thought of you, still, white, cold...to never see you blush scarlet again, to never see that flash of intuition in your eyes when you see through my pretenses...it would be unendurable."
 
"You are the most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever."-Edward
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Jade1991
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Re: ♥ Is it Love or Infatuation? ♥

I think they are in love but ...

have u noticed that when bella talks about him, its always his looks and never his personality or anything, its like if he wasnt a vampire would she love him?

however i think edward is truly in love with her, bella i THINK she is, but i would like to hear her say more things about him tht she loves rather than his looks

if anyone knows anywhere in the books where she talks about him (not looks) tht i probally forgot about can u tell me so i look it up

'And so the lion fell in love with the lamb...,' he murmured. I looked away, hiding my eyes as I thrilled to the word.
'What a stupid lamb,' I sighed.
'What a sick, masochistic lion.'

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jane0902
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Re: ♥ Is it Love or Infatuation? ♥

I think they are in both. When you're in love, you have to be infatuated with each other because when you're in love with someone, you don't have to entertain each other. All you have to do is be with each other no matter what the circumstances are. Bella and Edward don't have to do anything to be happy. All they have to do is be together. You can tell they are in love because Edward will do anything to be for her. Even if that means leaving her so she can be with Jacob(I hope not) or just holding her while she is sleeping. Love and infatuation are intertwined. They both center around the person that you want to be with.
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Jade1991
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Re: ♥ Is it Love or Infatuation? ♥

oh yea just to say before any one gets offended, i do know bella and edward are in love, i only noticed about the whole looks thing when my sister asked me about it (she's a jacob fan :smileymad:) so tht sucks and i wanted some real evidence to back myself up
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esme_cullen24
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Re: ♥ Is it Love or Infatuation? ♥

This may already have been brought into view but Edward is so in love with Bella he just wants her to be happy. That's why he left in New Moon. That's why he wasn't angry in Eclipse when they kissed. On the other hand Jacob only wants her to be with him. He doesn't care if she isn't happy with him he just wants her. It's kind of like the whole King Solomon thing were he said cut the baby in half and the mother who cared the most said No! give it to her I would gladly spare my child to see it alive. Edward is the mother who cried no because he cares for Bella the most. While Jacob just thinks he needs her. And thinking of this now Edward really does need her. They are good for eachother, Edward and Bella,. Think about when they went to vist Renee in Florida. She said they naturally form to each others bodies. Does that mean anything to you Jacob lovers?Plus the only reason she was much more free with Jacob in New Moon is because she wanted to hear Edward's voice.
There are four questions of value in life... What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same. Only love.-----Emily Dickinson