In January of 2009, I started a thread in the Fantasy and Science Fiction forum entitled “You Know You’re a Science Fiction/Fantasy Geek When…”. And while most forum threads are popular for a month or two and then slowly fade into the woodwork, this one has been going strong for more than a year with literally hundreds of posts and almost 10,000 views!
So, in honor of this wildly popular and seemingly undying thread, here is an updated list of some of the most memorable posts over the last year! (And a huge “thank you” to all of you regulars who posted. I feel like a part of a tight-knit – and really eccentric – extended family!)
Without further ado, the following statements are perfect examples of what it means to truly be a science fiction/fantasy fan.
You know you’re a science fiction/fantasy geek when…
… you buy Crown Royal for the bag to carry your dice in.
... you show up at your local gaming store to play Star Fleet Battles and you’re wearing a nasal strip for improved oxygen flow.
... you have actually read J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Silmarillion.
… you swear there is a Triffidus Celestis in the weed patch behind the garage.
… your cat’s name is Merlin.
…you always answer “42!” whenever someone says, “I have a question...”
... you can make perfect lightsaber fighting sounds with your mouth.
… you have seen every episode of MST3K (Mystery Science Theatre 3000) and can quote lines.
… you happily spend $60 on an action figure but you get upset spending $8 on a new shirt.
… you name your kids after characters from Dr. Who.
… you are a fan of Eric Northman on Facebook and proud of it.
…… you own or have owned a 100-sided dice.
… you own a life size cut out of Spock, Kirk, and/or Darth Vader.
… you have a shirt proclaiming yourself as a proud graduate of Miskatonic University.
… you are outraged that your friends think "klaatu barada nikto" originated from Army of Darkness!
…you have THX 1138 - Special Edition on DVD and watch it regularly.
… you tell your boyfriend (or girlfriend), "Give me some sugar baby!"
…. you have a “Vote Cthulhu – Why Settle for a Lesser Evil?” bumper sticker on your car.
... you've administered a Voigt-Kampff test to your kid brother/sister. Just to be sure.
…. you have tried at least once to move something to your hand by using only your mind.
... you've considered someone racially insensitive because they casually confused Klingons with Romulans.
... you know what filk music is, and you've actually listened to it.
… one of the best gifts you ever received for Christmas was a chainmail bra.
… you search animal shelters for Sirius Black.
… one of your favorite sayings is “If you can't stand the heat, don't tickle the dragon.”
… you won't take leaves or bark off a tree just in case wood nymphs really exist.
....you know undeniably that Ken Scholes' Psalms of Isaak saga will redefine both science fiction and fantasy and have begun describing novels that fuse together elements from both genres as "Scholian."
... you are worried that someone else’s zombie contingency plan may infringe on your own. (Are we planning on taking over the same Home Depot?)
…. you’ve ever gotten into a car or plane and struggled to resist the urge to say, “engage.”
… you know someone who has learned elvish... and envied them.
… you have SF/fantasy cover art hanging in your home as art. (Thanks, Todd Lockwood!)
… you would much rather ride to work on a noble steed than in a car.
… you know what DAW stands for!
… ... you realize after buying Lord of the Rings Trivial Pursuit that no one you know will play with you.
… you own a t-shirt that says "Sith Happens.”
... your son who does silk-screen t-shirts makes one that says "Come to the Dark Side...we have cookies."
... your other son has an entire arm of Wheel of Time tattoos.
… you can't imagine marrying anyone who doesn't grok your geekiness.
… you see a wardrobe and walk into it looking for Narnia.
… you're disappointed in general that they changed the look of British call boxes.
… you know that Discworld is not a music store.
… .....watching Farscape helped save your marriage because it gave you something else to do besides fight.
… you make your own Tribbles with fake fur and squeakers you had to rip out of dog toys.
… your husband asks for your hand in marriage at the local theatre production of The Rocky Horror Picture Show backstage while still in costume (I was Janet and he was Rocky).
…you teach adult education classes about post apocalyptic fiction and bring a sign proclaiming “The End of the World is Near” to the first day of class.
… ...you realize your day job as a diesel mechanic would be sooo much better if you had Magneto's powers.
… ...you fall in love with a guy you've never seen in an MMO (massively multiplayer online game) who lives clear across the country.
… ...you marry that guy and have a kid with him – and now have two separate computers placed right next to each other so you can game together.
… you tell your spouse to have your remains made into edible wafers after you die. (“Soylent Green is people – you’re eating people!)
… you drag your friends kicking and screaming to the Ren Faire and either end up having to bribe them with turkey legs, beer and/or the promise of (wench) boobs.
… when your idea of a good time is spending a whole day reading a 700-page fantasy novel.
… you post regularly on Barnes&Noble.com’s Fantasy/Science Fiction Board.
And this is just the tip of the iceberg, people! If you want to read more, check out the entire thread over in the Fantasy & Science Fiction forum! There are literally hundreds of more priceless posts!
So, after reading these comments, do you consider truly yourself a science fiction/fantasy geek? If so, feel free to finish the statement "You know you’re a science fiction/fantasy geek when…" with your own response!
