Ed [ Edited ]

[bookhunter]

Ed is getting a bum rap, here.  He is a public person in the community, but tries to keep private.  His job requires lots of community interaction and his coaching involves him in the community in other ways.  Probalby everyone in town knows Ed--but doesn't KNOW Ed.  That really makes it difficult to work through is emotions of Kim's disappearance.

I think he starts out as a Martian Man--wanting to "fix" the problem by calling his police chief buddy and organizing voluteers, going to Sanduskey... He also wants to protect Fran from some of the horrors of his finds, like hiding the car in the garage.  But as his attempts to fix the problem do not work, he becomes withdrawn and depressed.  He is unable to fulfill his role, where as Fran is blossoming as a spokesperson for Kim and other missing teens.

But there is also the Waffle and Spaghetti model for men/women.  Men can compartmentalize into little squares like waffles while for women everything is all connected and jumbled together.  Ed can step into his business, organizational square and get a search going, while Fran struggles with how to choose the best photo of Kim for the flyer.

Just like in my (oh so perfect ) marraige, one spouse picks up what the other isn't and they compliment each other.  His role becomes the emotional, grieving parent in some ways. 

The fact that he was the one that usually waited up for Kim was not a reflection on Fran's not caring--he just had a physical temperament and job that allowed him to do it while Fran didn't.  Parent's work as a team and I was glad to see that these two found ways to do that.  There were times of disconnect and times I worried for their relationship, but I really liked that they kept working it out and reaching out to each other.

Ann, bookhunter

Message Edited by bookhunter on 06-03-2008 02:32 PM

[vivico1]

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mwinasu wrote:

Ed acts more like a drunk than his wife does. When things get too hard to handle they take off. And they drink, but you don't see that because they are gone. They can make up all kinds of reasons why they have to go;however, if you need their support you are out of luck.

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I don't see Ed as taking off when things get too hard at all. He really feels a need to do something, to get his daughter back right now! He is trying to run towards her, not away. He can't sit still while Fran goes about her organized, paperwork way of chasing her down, he has to do something that is real to him. I think he feels helpless and is doing the only things he knows to do, to feel hopeful at least, and useful since Fran is taking charge of all the other stuff.

[Jeanie0522]

Bookhunter:  I agree with you on the parenting issues that are being addressed.  Fran had a job that called for her to be up early in the morning.  Ed was in real estate and had the more flexible schedule.  Most couples do take over different roles as their children get older.  Kim was not a child any longer.  She was getting ready to go to college in the fall.  I think their parenting of a college student was fairly typical of what you will find anywhere.  Kim had a job where she worked late and then would hang around with her friends after that.  Again, that is pretty typical.  What I like about Ed and really the whole family is that they are just an average family.  Not perfect.  Not "Leave it to Beaver" stuff.  Just a typical family with the mild dysfunctional issues that most if not all families have.  When Kim disappeared, Ed beat himself up for not continuing to wait up late at night and ask more questions of Kim.  Had he done that, it would probably not changed the events and it certainly would have caused a rift in their relationship.  Kim's age was one more thing that made her vunerable to this kind of violence and the police being skeptical of her being abducted.

[mwinasu]

I think Eds' need for secrecy and the fact that he worries about how he smells may hint at a hidden drinkng  problem.  I could be wrong.  Wouldn't be the first time.  As far as bailing on his wife goes, he couldn't get out the door fast enough.

[sbrinkley]

I think fred is use to being in control, he doesn't like surprises or anything like that he like the norm. and what he is use to and when kim goes missing he is out of his norm, doesn't know what to do.,

[DSaff]

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vivico1 wrote:

I don't see Ed as taking off when things get too hard at all. He really feels a need to do something, to get his daughter back right now! He is trying to run towards her, not away. He can't sit still while Fran goes about her organized, paperwork way of chasing her down, he has to do something that is real to him. I think he feels helpless and is doing the only things he knows to do, to feel hopeful at least, and useful since Fran is taking charge of all the other stuff.

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I agree with you, Vivian. Ed needs to physically do something. He is the father, the protector, and I think he feels like he failed. Organizing and doing interviews is the way Fran copes, and doing physical things like searching and watching what the police are doing, is how Ed copes. I don't find him weak or inept at all.

[hannah7299]

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vivico1 wrote:

I don't see Ed as taking off when things get too hard at all. He really feels a need to do something, to get his daughter back right now! He is trying to run towards her, not away. He can't sit still while Fran goes about her organized, paperwork way of chasing her down, he has to do something that is real to him. I think he feels helpless and is doing the only things he knows to do, to feel hopeful at least, and useful since Fran is taking charge of all the other stuff.

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I also agree with Viv.  I think Ed was the protective father who was more than ready to search for Kim in every way possible.  As time went on, he became very distant from Fran and her behavior and seemed to long for time with Lindsay, searching for the father-daughter bond he felt he missed with Kim.  I found it interesting that when Ed thought of old memories with Kim and Lindsay, they tended to be when the girls were very young rather than recent memories.  This made me think that his relationship was not strong with Kim in more recent years.  I thought one of Ed's important moments was when the older woman found Kim's body.  Regardless of his early efforts to find Kim, Ed felt a great disappointment in himself as if he ultimately let Kim down by not finding her himself.

[CAG]

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bookhunter wrote:

Ed is getting a bum rap, here.  He is a public person in the community, but tries to keep private.  His job requires lots of community interaction and his coaching involves him in the community in other ways.  Probalby everyone in town knows Ed--but doesn't KNOW Ed.  That really makes it difficult to work through is emotions of Kim's disappearance.

I think he starts out as a Martian Man--wanting to "fix" the problem by calling his police chief buddy and organizing voluteers, going to Sanduskey... He also wants to protect Fran from some of the horrors of his finds, like hiding the car in the garage.  But as his attempts to fix the problem do not work, he becomes withdrawn and depressed.  He is unable to fulfill his role, where as Fran is blossoming as a spokesperson for Kim and other missing teens.

But there is also the Waffle and Spaghetti model for men/women.  Men can compartmentalize into little squares like waffles while for women everything is all connected and jumbled together.  Ed can step into his business, organizational square and get a search going, while Fran struggles with how to choose the best photo of Kim for the flyer.

Just like in my (oh so perfect ) marraige, one spouse picks up what the other isn't and they compliment each other.  His role becomes the emotional, grieving parent in some ways. 

The fact that he was the one that usually waited up for Kim was not a reflection on Fran's not caring--he just had a physical temperament and job that allowed him to do it while Fran didn't.  Parent's work as a team and I was glad to see that these two found ways to do that.  There were times of disconnect and times I worried for their relationship, but I really liked that they kept working it out and reaching out to each other.

Ann, bookhunter

Message Edited by bookhunter on 06-03-2008 02:32 PM

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Thank you bookhunter. I completely agree with you. I think Ed is a private person even though he is active in the community. I believe he and Fran do compliment each other in their parenting styles. As with Fran, I think he is doing the best that he can given the situation. I see Ed and Fran as knowing each other well-they know the strengths and weaknesses of the other. They are human and get frustrated, just as we all do but when it comes right down to it they pull together. As you stated "they kept working it out" .   

[vivico1]

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hannah7299 wrote:

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vivico1 wrote:

I don't see Ed as taking off when things get too hard at all. He really feels a need to do something, to get his daughter back right now! He is trying to run towards her, not away. He can't sit still while Fran goes about her organized, paperwork way of chasing her down, he has to do something that is real to him. I think he feels helpless and is doing the only things he knows to do, to feel hopeful at least, and useful since Fran is taking charge of all the other stuff.

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I also agree with Viv. I think Ed was the protective father who was more than ready to search for Kim in every way possible. As time went on, he became very distant from Fran and her behavior and seemed to long for time with Lindsay, searching for the father-daughter bond he felt he missed with Kim. I found it interesting that when Ed thought of old memories with Kim and Lindsay, they tended to be when the girls were very young rather than recent memories. This made me think that his relationship was not strong with Kim in more recent years. I thought one of Ed's important moments was when the older woman found Kim's body. Regardless of his early efforts to find Kim, Ed felt a great disappointment in himself as if he ultimately let Kim down by not finding her himself.

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This was the one real time in the story that I felt some real emotion from someone! And it seemed real! I felt for Ed and what he had been holding inside. Finally a glimpse of feeling in this story.

[pheath]

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mwinasu wrote:

I think Eds' need for secrecy and the fact that he worries about how he smells may hint at a hidden drinkng problem. I could be wrong. Wouldn't be the first time. As far as bailing on his wife goes, he couldn't get out the door fast enough.

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I didn't see anything that would support this. It would also seem odd to have as much open use/abuse of alcohol explicit in the story only to have a character abusing in secret that is never revealed.

[the_mad_chatter]

I think Ed and Fran are perfect for each other because of their imperfections.  Ed is a horrible decision maker as is Fran.  Ed chooses the needle in the hay stack approach when Kim is first missing and Fran goes on line for a "how to" manual to find Kim.  I don't see either one as the strong one or the organized one or the "drunk".  I see Ed as avoiding Fran and home because he doesn't agree with her approach.  She's frantic and who really blames him for not wanting to be around that.  She's got Ambien and he's got his hotel room. 

In so many books where something tragic happens in a family, we almost always take sides with one parent over the other (think Lovely Bones!)  I'm trying not to do that with this story.

[NYBri]

As a father, I can sympathize with Ed's initial reaction - scouring the neighborhood, hoping to find her with some friend, or parked somewhere in more and more unlikely places. Eventually the futility would set in - the obvious unlikelihood of him finding her this way.
Then the inch-by-inch search - something he "must" do - when he should be home with his wife and other daughter facing the crisis together.
His reconciling with, or reaching out to, JP is too little too late - he ignored him previously, or disliked him for superficial reasons.
The awareness of his lack of attention to his daughter earlier is compounded by the feeling that it probably wouldn't have prevented whatever did happen - even if he had been a "better" father.
His level of distress may be well concealed, but the hidden emotion should have been detailed more - not leaving the reader to wonder if Ed had feelings or not - or why he acts as stiffly as he does.

- Brian

[kmfr29]

I agree with you.  Although Ed worried about his reputation and standing in the community, he had no real friends or close acquaintances.  His failure in not being able to find Kim makes him realize how alone he really is.

[lady1226]

I agree Ed seemed strong it he beginning.  I think all the fight went out of him when Kim disappeared.

[Deltadawn]

Interesting thought, Everyman. But, I don't think it would be easy to go out and look for a missing child. The fear that would grip me each time someone yelled out that they had found something; the not knowing if I would be the one to find her body or things; the feeling helpless to save her. He needed to do something physical. While he didn't deal with the emotional needs of his family, he wasn't alone in that. Each member of the family had to deal with their thoughts around missing Kim, and I'm not sure they could have talked much at first. All they could do was act.
_________________

Great comment.

I agree that Ed was dealing with the loss of his missing daughter in the best and only way he could - by physically trying to locate her.  Fran and Lindsay also dealt with Kim's disappearance in their own ways.  As Fran mentioned to Lindsay later in the book, we all do what we have to in order to get by (or something like that)....

[Demira]

I thought it took a lot of courage for him to organize the search parties.  Its interesting how people respond differently to highly stressful situations.  Ed doesn't shut down, he gets moving and keeps himself occupied; which in turn, isolated himself from the rest of the grieving family. 

I also liked seeing the kindness and concern he showed for Kim's boyfriend, as he seemed to take that particular kid under his wing, worrying about the boyfriend's footwear.  Was he trying to get close to Kim by being close to the man she supposedly loved?  Most fathers would probably not be too concerned about the boyfriend's welfare (and might even consider the boyfriend a "suspect").   

[vcgosox]

I agree completely. He is avoiding the emotional impact of the situation by constantly focusing on the search and not responding to needs of the rest of the family. I realize searching is important but he has to think of Lindsey and Fran and be supportive of them during such a traumatic event.

[Librarian]

Everyman wrote:
Interesting perspective. I didn't see him as the strength of the family, but as the titular head who, when things fell apart, abdicated the hard things to his wife while he did the easy job of just going out looking to avoid having to deal with his family's emotional needs.

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crimefighter4444 wrote:
ed is the strength of this family. when his daughter disappears and he soon finds out that there is nothing he can do to find her he goes into this form of hibernation as a form of forgiveness to himself for his ineptitude to correct this horrible situation. my heart went out to him as i pictured myself in the same situation. the author plays on this fact and keeps the reader turning pages.

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I admire Ed. I think it showed a lot of strength for him to bring some of Kim's clothing to Sandusky to give the dogs a scent and for him to inspect items the police found in the car. Also he is very considerate to Fran even when she in stress might criticize him. This kind of tragedy can tear a marriage apart. But I think Ed keeps it together with his empathy and even Fran when she goes out on the boat fishing with Ed. He also leads the way to more acceptance of JP, Nina and Elise even though they initially kept the drug involvement secret.

Librarian

[the_mad_chatter]

But why does Ed have to supply Fran's emotional support?  He's just as entitled to an emotional breakdown as she is.  Did Fran call dibs on having a breakdown first?  They would have benefitted from therapy.

[the_mad_chatter]

I'll also have to admit that I Ed and Fran bother me because how can they possibly be selling off mutual funds and yet have their boat.  That really bothered me.