I am here because I am a concerned aunt, not a parent. I have some pretty unique challenges to face in helping my nieces who are 6 and 8 in their reading because of a combination of physical distance from them (they are in North Dakota and I am in Pennsylvania) combined with being the black sheep of the family including just getting involved in my family again after my nieces being born.
Long story, I have no children of my own. However I did babysit years ago as a teenager for my cousin and have a unique perspective on what the video games and lack of reading skills did to her children. They did not have parents who even disciplined them enough to have them get decent grades as they didn't really have "game time" limits from a young age. (my brother and his wife are making their children do their homework first right now though I am not sure how long that will continue).
It wasn't just a lack of discipline that hurt my cousin's children in their classes, but their borderline illiteracy. From story problems in math to science and history you can't succeed in school and be borderline illiterate. How do I know how bad their reading skills truly were? My cousin when I was in college had me trying to help her daughter pass pre-algebra. It was a losing battle as her daughter did not have the reading ability necessary to pick apart a story problem! I tried desperately but failed in my free tutoring sessions because I couldn't overcome her daughter's reading obstacle.
Last year when I met my nieces for the first time on a trip to Disneyworld I actually found out to my surprise that the oldest girl is a reader more than her sister, but despite video games, dvds and cable tv that she even reads for pleasure at all is a very happy surprise for me. I know that their father, my older brother, doesn't read for pleasure at all. Even to this day he commented he doesn't like reading. It is a combination of my mother's outright efforts to discourage us from reading because my father read so much and the fact he is ADHD and never liked sitting down and keeping still activities. I know that since he is 5 years older than me and I am 37 ADHD was not a common diagnosis the way it has become now for any child that isn't perfectly controlled in school being forced on medication.
I do not subscribe to my family's belief system including their choice of a church that outright declares females to be inferior. I took the step of checking out the website for their current church and it is similar to the one my mother took me to in that females are secondary and downright discriminated against. If I had even a penny for how many times my brothers were told they could do better than my straight A's in advanced classes(except gym and typing as I am truly co-ordinationally challenged) because I was only a girl and they were smarter than me because I am female by my mother, I would be a very rich person.
I checked out the thread on the first page here and am definitely going to look into the titles I saw listed there for 9 year old girls. When I asked what their oldest daughter was into reading they couldn't answer that question which saddens me and doesn't give me a genre clue. I know my older brother has proudly declared he rules the roost to the extent he tells his wife what she is and isn't allowed to do. They are hard to get ahold of on the phone, and they are hard to make heads or tails of in some ways because of contradictory things they say. My sister-in-law seems happy enough in the belief system that the man is in charge...and doesn't seem to be a reader either.
I am going to try to balance out their parents' sexism by looking for books about strong female protagonists only. They do not read to their younger daughter, but the older girl reads to her younger sister. My mother frankly taught me to read so she wouldn't have to read to me anymore and while I appreciate that she did it with great patience with second hand elementary school primers and listened to me sound out the words by myself, that was the only encouragement for reading I received in my house.
I also became a better reader because of my mother buying a dictionary since she flat out refused to take time to define words for me. It was a webster's unabridged adult dictionary and the only new book she willingly bought that wasn't strictly required by the school system. She did play dictionary for my younger brother, but I at least saw that words had multiple definitions and while my typing doesn't make it look like I know how to spell, I spell things better than my younger brother ever managed.
I am the black sheep of the family for not remaining close and listening to therapists instead of just following "forgive and forget" for the outright abuse common in my family. I have been advised by numerous professionals that my family borders on insanity in their child rearing beliefs (I am not talking strictly religion based) and it is healthier for me to avoid my family as much as possible. I have a conscience struggle going on as I believe children's parents should have the right to raise them including religion as our nation has a foundation of freedom of religious choice.
While my brother's wife seems content enough in her subservient role on the surface, I am not certain that she is really happy. I know for a fact that all of my female cousins on my mother's side have severe emotional problems from being raised in homes so similar to mine. My mother was actually the mildest of all her siblings when it came how she treated her daughter. While in my family it is believed you should forgive, forget, and allow your adult parents to continue to emotionally abuse you through adulthood none of my female cousins go to any church. The cousin I babysat for never took her children to church except weddings and funerals.
I know children are more worldly today than my generation. My brother is very conservative though, and I don't know how much that will temper the media role in raising children as they do have cable tv. My older brother is in the Air Force and seems to have slightly moved away from the extremely racist viewpoint of the extended family, so I would like to find some books suitable for younger children that expose them to other cultures as well. I figure if I am going to be the black sheep I might as well go all the way to meddlesome aunt. Since they live in North Dakota right now the extremely cold winters mean that reading is encouraged slightly as the temperatures make it impossible to play outside.
so now in the fall /winter I work at a nearby ski resort.
Always searching our thrift shop for books,library sales and BN. VermontCozy,Best to all..(Shel Silverstein has a prominent place in my bookcase)
