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Contributor
T-RadSR
Posts: 13
Registered: ‎10-26-2008

Funny, humorous, lines or quotes

I was reading Gone Tomorrow by Lee Child and Reacher described this woman as "She fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch". It made me laugh out load. The fact that I was reading this while waiting at the courthouse to see if I was going to be selected for Jury duty made the moment particularly awkward. Anybody have any similar experience?

Distinguished Bibliophile
Peppermill
Posts: 6,768
Registered: ‎04-04-2007
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Re: Funny, humorous, lines or quotes

 

T-RadSR wrote:

I was reading Gone Tomorrow by Lee Child and Reacher described this woman as "She fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch". It made me laugh out load. The fact that I was reading this while waiting at the courthouse to see if I was going to be selected for Jury duty made the moment particularly awkward. Anybody have any similar experience?

 

 

T-Rad -- I hope you can just consider laughing out loud while reading in public as good advertisement for the pleasures of reading!

 

My current notation system when reading includes using emoticons like smiley faces (just eyes and mouth) to mark the the margins!  It is fun to peruse a book afterwards to see what tickled the funny bone when reading the first time.

 

Not a laughing out loud moment, but a humorous one that comes to mind from yesterday was the author of Factory Girls (Leslie Chang) realizing from the state of his papers in his office that her relative would never get his book of family history written! 

 

Pepper

"Seize the moments of happiness, love and be loved! That is the only reality in the world, all else is folly. It is the one thing we are interested in here." -- Leo Tolstoy
Distinguished Wordsmith
crzynwrd4lf
Posts: 503
Registered: ‎04-04-2010
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Re: Funny, humorous, lines or quotes

I always carry a book with me and am not shy about reading in public so there have many times when I find myself laughing out loud (more often in quiet areas) and getting more than a few weird or dirty looks in my direction which just makes me laugh harder for some reason. The one thing I have given up on, though, is trying to explain to someone what was so funny they never seem to get it...maybe I explain it wrong? Oh well either way it's always good to read something that brings out an unexpected emotion. An embarassing situation I had was when I was reading Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card. I was just getting to the end of the novel when I was at work and became so overwhelmed that I began to cry in front of everyone. Very embarrassing.

"One potato, two potato, three potato, four/ she's coming for you now, you better lock the door"-- Promise Not To Tell
Inspired Contributor
Purpyl
Posts: 78
Registered: ‎12-06-2008

Re: Funny, humorous, lines or quotes

Oh, absolutely! I remember once waiting for my car to be serviced & I was reading one of Janet Evanovich's books. I laughed right out loud. I'm sure people thought I was reacting to whatever was on TV in the waiting room - football or something.

 

Which brings me to an off-topic: Do we really HAVE to have TV's blaring everywhere we go???!!! Good grief, people!! Above the produce at the grocery store, at the check-out line, waiting for your car to be washed, etc.! Do we have to constantly be "entertained," & I use that term loosely because there's nothing worth watching on TV any more...

 

Cathy

 

CR: The Rainbow

JF: The Ghost, A Thousand Splendid Suns, The Book Thief

TBR: Who knows...?

Inspired Wordsmith
Stephanie
Posts: 2,613
Registered: ‎10-19-2006

Re: Funny, humorous, lines or quotes

Cathy,

 

The worst for me are the TVs all over restaurants.  Drives me crazy to think that people can't even go out for a meal without watching TV. 

 

Funny lines... from

Crazy in Alabama ... I'm going to tiptoe around this because I don't want to ruin this most fantastic book for anyone... but it's about the way and the why she kills her husband.  Hilarious!

 

Stephanie
Inspired Contributor
Purpyl
Posts: 78
Registered: ‎12-06-2008
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Re: Funny, humorous, lines or quotes

Stephanie -

 

I've had Crazy in Alabama in my TBR pile for two years. Obviously, I need to move it UP!!!

 

Cathy

 

CR: The Rainbow

JR: The Ghost, A Thousand Splendid Suns, The Book Thief

TBR: Crazy in Alabama!!

Distinguished Bibliophile
KathyS
Posts: 6,898
Registered: ‎10-19-2006

Re: Funny, humorous, lines or quotes

[ Edited ]

Well, it's usually a Stephanie Plum book that gets me to giggling, or laughing outloud...and that's usually in a doctor's waiting room.   I try to keep it down to a dull roar!

 

I just got this forward...I had to laugh at this, although, nobody is in the house to hear me!

 

This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the help desk employee was fired----- however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause.' 

 
Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance----- How can I help you? 
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.' 
Operator: 'What sort of trouble??' 
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.' 
Operator: 'Went away?' 
Caller: 'They disappeared!' 
Operator: 'Hmm. So, what does your screen look like now?' 
Caller: 'Nothing.' 
Operator: 'Nothing??' 
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.' 
Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?' 
Caller: 'How do I tell?' 
Operator: 'Can you see the 'C' prompt on the screen?' 
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?' 
Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?' 
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type.' 
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??' 
Caller: 'What's a monitor?' 
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?' 
Caller: 'I don't know.' 
Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??' 
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.' 
Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall. 
Caller: 'Yes, it is.' 
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?' 
Caller: 'No!' 
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.' 
Caller: 'Okay, here it is!' 
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.' 
Caller: 'I can't reach.' 
Operator: 'OK. Well, can you see if it is?' 
Caller: 'No.' 
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?' 
Caller: 'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark.' 
Operator: 'Dark?' 
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.' 
Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.' 
Caller: 'I can't!' 
Operator: 'No? Why not?' 
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.' 
Operator: 'A power..... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in?' 
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.' 
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.' 
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?' 
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.' 
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose..... What do I tell them?' 
Operator: 'Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!'

Distinguished Wordsmith
crzynwrd4lf
Posts: 503
Registered: ‎04-04-2010
0 Kudos

Re: Funny, humorous, lines or quotes

Kathy,

 

That's hilarious! A few years ago I heard a news report of a woman who called 911 asking for Nanny 911! This is why WI gets a bad reputation:

 

Woman Calls 911 for Nanny: raw audio By Michael George

BEAVER DAM - A Wisconsin woman called 911 thinking the emergency operator could provide her with a babysitter.

In the 911 call, you can hear the voice of an overwhelmed, but misguided mother.

"I need a nanny," she says.

"A nanny?" the dispatch operator responds.

"Yeah, this is a nanny 911. I need a babysitter and some friends," the mother says.

But this is not a joke. The Dodge County Sheriff's Department said this mother of triplets seriously thought she should call 911 for help with her kids.

"Maybe she was watching "Nanny 911" and thought that’s how you get a nanny. I really don’t know,” said supervisor Pat Ninmann with the Sheriff's Department, referring to a show on Fox where nannies teach problem children to behave.

An officer was sent to the woman's Beaver Dam home just to make sure everything was all right. He found that the woman was overwhelmed by her triplets. Officers say the kids were 3 or 4 years old.

“Maybe she just needed a break,” Ninmann said.

The officer could have cited her for misuse of 911. Instead, he actually helped her find a babysitter by getting in touch with the triplets' grandmother.

"Grandma came over and babysat the children for her, so the end result, I guess, was a good one for the mother," Ninmann said.

The sheriff's department is hoping the next time the mother is overwhelmed by her kids, she calls grandma first.

911 nanny call

"One potato, two potato, three potato, four/ she's coming for you now, you better lock the door"-- Promise Not To Tell