elaine_hf wrote:
OH boy, those ARE good questions! Hope I can give good answers...
1. By the end of the section on Jo, she has come a very long way. She's learned a hard lesson, not everything can be solved by throwing money at it. Or by hiring your problems out. I can't say that I feel like she's completely at fault for these shortcomings - she comes by them honestly, in a way. Lives on her own, has a successful career, has never seemingly had to take a young person's life into account in her plans. And now, a child falls on her doorstep! I think every mom wishes they came with an instruction manual. She just does what comes naturally, how she normally solves problems, and she quickly finds that it won't work here. I have to admire her for not giving up, taking Grace back to her grandparents and going back to her old life. Why she doesn't is really a bit of a mystery, given her work stresses and the little we know about her. But she sticks with it, and I think maybe deep inside she sees that this is a missing facet of her life. Her epiphany is, oddly, something similar to an epiphany I had while in therapy - every person just wants to be understood. Simple, but not easy. And once she sees that yearning for normality, for Barbie dolls, in Grace, it clicks for her. She's becoming one of my favorite ladies in this book!
2. Kate is one of those people that makes me want to click my heels three times while repeating, 'There's no place like home'. She and her husband are both to blame for the condition their marriage is in - lack of personal time together, lack of communication. But I don't think she handled it in the right way, by skydiving and then by traveling to India. To me, those are just big red flags, calling for help. She doesn't see it, Paul doesn't see it. Obviously Rachel saw it before she died, and maybe her request to Kate was the only way she could think of to bring their marital crisis to a head. I don't know, this still assigns a level of omniscience to Rachel that I'm not completely comfortable with. But by the end of her travels in India, I think that some of this is starting to dawn on Kate, and she is finally seeing the things of value in her marriage and in her family. Her epiphany? There really is no place like home. But that doesn't mean that you have to sacrifice your soul at the altar of 'family'.
3. Sarah - strong, but a bit of a mess. It's kind of like when you're a kid, and you develop a misconception about something - it takes some kind of event for you to challenge that misconception and correct it. Okay, sidebar here, true confession - ever since I was a little girl, I thought that the song 'Rock my Soul in the Bosom of Abraham' was about Abraham Lincoln. I can't stop laughing when I think about it now, but it was just one of those little things I never thought much about. Late at night, I was walking my older daughter, then about 3 months old and terribly 'colic-y', back and forth and I started singing that song, when I suddenly realized what it was about. My daughter was still screaming, but I was in a 100% better mood! So, I think that's the kind of thing that Sarah experienced. Ever since her time in Paraguay, she saw Colin with rose-colored glasses, as the hero who came galloping in to save the day, and she never questioned that misconception. Even after all of those years of non-contact. So, she finally sees him face to face, is starting to pick up on some body language that he's pulling away (in addition to her internet discoveries), and it takes a talk from her friend Kate, who has problems of her own, to finally start to open her eyes to what she has. Not what she dreams of, or wishes for, but what is right in front of her. Maybe that almost-kiss brought up a tinge of jealousy? Her epiphany - how about, live with your eyes wide open....
4. Rachel's letter to Sarah, to me, felt like she was trying to shake Sara loose from those dreams of Colin. Sarah took it very literally, and forgot initially to pay attention to the part where she needed to really 'see' Colin, and went into stalker mode. But in the end, she really did see him for what he is, a human with human failings - not a saviour, and I expect some good things for her in the coming chapters.
Elaine, glad you liked the questions, this is a fun novel to dig into.
A few things you said really stuck with me;
I loved your reference to The Wizard of Oz for Kate, she ain't in Kansas anymore is she.
And for Sarah's letter, the way you saw it was exactly how I saw it, it in fact reminds me of my husband who is handicapped with selective hearing, if I say the sun is lighting the house so it looks on fire, what do you think he hears 
Ah Jo, gosh I love Jo, she reminds me of every Southern Belle heroine I know and a combination of many of them.
my favorite line in the novel so far is when at the end of Chapter 10 it says "She shut off her phone", gosh what a big girl thing to do.
dhaupt wrote:Week Two
The Proper Care and Maintenance of Friendship
Well here we are in week two and there is a whole lot going on, epiphanies or just grounding facts, that’s something we’ll discuss in this week’s questions
1. Jo is still trying to “manage” motherhood by putting everything in it’s proper box, hiring chefs, nannies, safekiddies.com, psychologists and still trying to put together her proposal for work.
How’s that working for herI think the phone call between Jo and Paul (when Jo called looking for Kate, needing Kate's help) put's Jo state of mind and coping with the situation in perspective very well.
Paul: "Jo?...You're a woman."
Jo: "Sugar, believe me, I haven't noticed lately."
Paul: "Where can I buy Styrofoam balls and wooden clothespins?...Yeah, yeah, stupid to ask. I thought, you know, you being a woman and all..."
Jo: "Paul, I'll tell you one thing I've discoverd. Talent in motherhood? It doesn't come with the boobs."
I agree with April and Elaine. She is applying all her business savy to this "task" and finding that "throwing money" at something is not always the answer. A plain ol' box of Mac and Cheese sure beat gourmet any day of the week with a kid who has no idea of what gourmet is. I also think Jo is learning to relax a little and go with the flow and be herself with Gracie. It is this spontanity that Gracie seems to respond to, especially when she knows that it is focused on her and is "time" just for her and Jo.
Has she learned anythingJo didn't get to where she is in the business world by copying every Tom, Dick, and Harry. She is the smartest chick on the block and also the most creative, think outside-the-box person around. That's why she gets the big bucks in the field she works in. Soooooooo she's added one more ball to her juggling act. She's learned that her priorities in life have taken a big change. I don't think this is a bad thing.
I love where as they are leaving the doctor's office, Jo comments that they're done, like burnt toast and Gracie says she doesn't like burnt toast.
"things Grace doesn't like: (1) Benito's mac and cheese. (2) Burnt toast. (3) My sense of humor.
Yeah, I think she's learning. I also think she likes lists.
What was her epiphany
I agree the toy store scene was Jo's epiphany. But it really started at the pyschologist's office. When Hector called and she realized that she HAD to go to the office and she had no choice but to bring Gracie with her....
There was far more levels to the epiphany than we realize. There were soooo many things that opened to her in that short period of time that I feel this is truly the pivot point for where she will go from here.
Epiphany one: The impact of the responsibility of motherhood.
She suddenly realized that sometimes you just had to make do with what life handed you and roll with the blows. That sometimes things were truly totally out of your control.
Epiphany two: Mothers will do whatever it takes to take care of their child and provide for them
Memories of her mother and the two jobs and the bare necessities at home, but her mom's dogged determination to keep at it so things would get better.
Epiphany Three: Sometimes the responsibility of motherhood can become too much.
Suddenly she much more empathy for Kate and understood why Kate went over the "deep end", and wondered why it took so long.
I'll address the other items tomorrow, or in separate posts, as there are no short answers to these fabulous questions. Each is worthy of an essay.
Great job, Deb.
Muse
aprilh wrote:
Jo is trying to handle raising Grace like any other work project she's ever had. In her mind, she needs to hire a team of specialists to get the job done right. After Grace's macaroni and cheese tantrum, I think Jo has realized that no team of specialists is going to be able to tell her exactly what Grace needs. To her credit, Jo is the first person to really hear what Grace wants. When they are toy shopping, Grace picks out a Barbie doll and it occurs to Jo that no one ever thought that Rachel's daughter would have turned out to be a girlie girl. When Jo's phone begins to ring, she looks into Grace's eyes that are full of hope and shuts off her phone. I was so proud of Jo at that moment. I felt like that was a turning point for Jo and she was putting Grace's needs above all others.
I cried at the end of this chapter
By the end of this week's reading, I felt that Kate has realized that her marriage had gotten off course. She is devastated when Paul doesn't show up in Bangalore to see her. After sky diving, I think Kate felt alive for the first time in a long time and she wasn't ready to let that feeling go, so went to Bangalore hoping Paul would follow and they could work on rekindling their romance. I think Kate feels that she's become boring and has nothing to talk about besides her family, so she left thinking she would come back home with interesting stories to tell so people (and maybe a part of herself) wouldn't look at her like she was just a housewife. She wants Paul to look at her the way he used to. We learn that Kate and Paul were adventurous before they had children and Kate wants nothing more than for the two of them to be like that again. Maybe a part of her doesn't necessarily miss the adventure, but more the connection that Paul and her used to have. She thought she was trying to make their marriage better by going to Bangalore, but it backfired and caused a giant rift instead. I don't think Paul was innocent in all this, obviously there were problems before Kate went to Bangalore, but now she needs to go home and see if they can work on their marriage.
I agree with what you said here April, do you think she went a bit off her rocker
I was surprised to read that Sam had also gotten a letter from Rachel telling him to stay close to Sarah these next few months. That makes me wonder if anyone else we've read about so far has gotten a letter from Rachel.
This fact actually blew me away, I wonder what Rachel is doing up there on her cloud watching all this paly out, is she scratching her head or pulling out her hair, or do you think she's satisfied
Thanks April, I think we may have been separated at birth
Mountain_Muse wrote:
dhaupt wrote:
Week Two
The Proper Care and Maintenance of Friendship
Well here we are in week two and there is a whole lot going on, epiphanies or just grounding facts, that’s something we’ll discuss in this week’s questions
Has she learned anything
What was her epiphany
I agree the toy store scene was Jo's epiphany. But it really started at the pyschologist's office. When Hector called and she realized that she HAD to go to the office and she had no choice but to bring Gracie with her....
There was far more levels to the epiphany than we realize. There were soooo many things that opened to her in that short period of time that I feel this is truly the pivot point for where she will go from here.
Epiphany one: The impact of the responsibility of motherhood.
She suddenly realized that sometimes you just had to make do with what life handed you and roll with the blows. That sometimes things were truly totally out of your control.
Epiphany two: Mothers will do whatever it takes to take care of their child and provide for them
Memories of her mother and the two jobs and the bare necessities at home, but her mom's dogged determination to keep at it so things would get better.
Epiphany Three: Sometimes the responsibility of motherhood can become too much.
Suddenly she much more empathy for Kate and understood why Kate went over the "deep end", and wondered why it took so long.
I'll address the other items tomorrow, or in separate posts, as there are no short answers to these fabulous questions. Each is worthy of an essay.
Great job, Deb.
Muse
Thank Muse you're making me blush
Do you think she'll make it to the office?
