Friendship

[KxBurns]

---

krb2g wrote:

I get what you're saying about space, Karen, and I wonder if this geography thing is part of why Beth makes the (somewhat disasterous) move back to New York--in New York they're all (except Tal, who really drifts off as his acting career takes off) somewhat geographically close, but because they aren't going to school together anymore everything has changed anyway, and while they see each other at parties (at least that's where we mostly see them interacting as a group), the friendships have changed and grown more distant.

---

Interesting! So their proximity to eachother only highlights the growing distance between them?

[m3girl]

Friendships made in college are forged first because of shared experiences (examps, late night studying) and interests.  These relationships face stress after graduation because the environment changes significantly and everyone's challenges change - some are bigger than others.  Their lives change - jobs, marriage, children...and not usually at the same time.  The group is threatened by outsiders as new individuals are introduced - i.e. spouces.

Tuck never seems to be integrated into the group - and so he brings in Caitlin and Rob (His friends).

No idea what's up with Will (even after finishing the book)...

They all seem to be at Dave's party that one night more out of obligation than because they really want to be there and see each other.

Who is the leader?  Sounds like Lil was the leader in college but I think Sadie is more of the leader after college.

As the years pass by it is understandable that the group will be less of their focus.

Susan

[Read-n-Rider]

I find it somewhat extraordinary that this group of friends is still intact several years after their college graduation.  In my own case, for example, this did not happen.  While we seemed very close during school, once we finished, we quite quickly lost contact.  The fact that the characters in A Fortunate Age were undergrads in Ohio and then most of them moved to NYC may have helped to hold them together.  My friends and I left for widely-separated locales after graduation and, after a letter or two (This was before e-mail, IM'ing, or even home computers, for that matter!), we just drifted apart.  Hmmm, maybe modern technology is the real answer--I know that my granddaughter still "talks" with her former college--and even high school--classmates, though she seldom if ever sees most of them.

Joan

[KxBurns]

---

Read-n-Rider wrote:

I find it somewhat extraordinary that this group of friends is still intact several years after their college graduation.  In my own case, for example, this did not happen.  While we seemed very close during school, once we finished, we quite quickly lost contact.  The fact that the characters in A Fortunate Age were undergrads in Ohio and then most of them moved to NYC may have helped to hold them together.  My friends and I left for widely-separated locales after graduation and, after a letter or two (This was before e-mail, IM'ing, or even home computers, for that matter!), we just drifted apart.  Hmmm, maybe modern technology is the real answer--I know that my granddaughter still "talks" with her former college--and even high school--classmates, though she seldom if ever sees most of them.

Joan

---

Great point! But it begs the question whether technology is really an adequate substitute for real human connection or is it merely prolonging the illusion of closeness?...

Message Edited by KxBurns on 01-29-2009 10:46 PM

[EbonyAngel]

---

KxBurns wrote:

---

Read-n-Rider wrote:

I find it somewhat extraordinary that this group of friends is still intact several years after their college graduation.  In my own case, for example, this did not happen.  While we seemed very close during school, once we finished, we quite quickly lost contact.  The fact that the characters in A Fortunate Age were undergrads in Ohio and then most of them moved to NYC may have helped to hold them together.  My friends and I left for widely-separated locales after graduation and, after a letter or two (This was before e-mail, IM'ing, or even home computers, for that matter!), we just drifted apart.  Hmmm, maybe modern technology is the real answer--I know that my granddaughter still "talks" with her former college--and even high school--classmates, though she seldom if ever sees most of them.

Joan

---

Great point! But it begs the question whether technology is really an adequate substitute for real human connection or is it merely prolonging the illusion of closeness?...

Message Edited by KxBurns on 01-29-2009 10:46 PM

---

Technology is good in the fact that it allows you to keep in touch but in your own time, you know, I don't have to drop what I'm doing to visit/chat with a friend.  Bad in the fact that it does give the illusion of closeness.  When you email, im or even text, there's no real emotion.  I could've have a big fight with my spouse and be thinking of leaving but email that things are fine and the other never knows.   If you've been friends for a while, even talking on the phone can give away what's really going on.  We've all got friends that we can tell how it's going by the nuances in their voice.

As much as I value the friendships I have, some since grade school, there are those that I call and those that I prefer to email.   We've all gone our separete ways and some I don't have anything really in common with anymore other than the fact that we lived on the same block, attended the same school or had the same friend.  Yet, in one way or another, I still keep in contact with them.

I think in a way, it seemed like this is how it was with the goup.  Since they were close in college and they moved to NY, they felt like they had to remain friends, no matter what.