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BaseballMomma
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Re: Eternal on the Water: Chapters 9-10, Indonesia

 Mary's mother has had time to process knowing her daughter as the disease. She's accepted it because she knows what's going to happen to her, since Mary's father died from the disease. I can respect her because she tells Cobb that since he now knows, if he can't deal with her diagnosis then he doesn't have to go to the island and be with her. She tries to let him off the hook, but I feel like she already knew Cobb would say it doesn't matter. I think at that moment she really comes to love Cobb and know he's a good man for her daughter.

 

It doesn't disturb me that Cobb doesn't talk to Mary about her mother's revelation. Mary has said she doesn't want to know one way or the other, and Cobb can respect that. I think that's another aspect that shows how good they are for one another. At the same time, I kinda feel like Mary knows already. She doesn't have the test to prove it, but she knows the disease is within her. And I think Cobb senses that.

 

I think you do get a clearer idea of who Cobb is. We know he's a teacher at a prep school, but you get a better idea of what kind of school it is. It made me feel like the overall tradition of the school is what made him want to teach there.

 

 

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carol_fa
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Re: Eternal on the Water: Chapters 9-10, Indonesia

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Eternal on the Water: Chapters 9-10, Indonesia[ NEW ]

What is your impression of Mary's mother, and of her attitude toward Mary's illness?

I liked Mary's mother, it seems that she has accepted the fact that she will lose her daughter to Huntingtons disease. I also liked how she talked to Cobb about his and Mary's relationship, understanding that it is a lot to handle. She seems like a very intelligent, yet compassionate person.

 

Our landscape changes dramatically in these brief chapters. How does the story change? Indonesia sounds beautiful, the turtles were a fun addition to the book. I enjoyed the relationship between Mary and her brother. I think Cobb and Mary got even closer in these 2 chapters, solidifying their relationship. I felt that they would be together forever if it wasn't for her impending death.

 

Are you disturbed by Cobb not talking to Mary about her mother's revelation? Would it be easier to talk or to not talk about a loved one's sickness and death?

 Not at all, I think Cobb was following Mary's wishes. That would be very hard to do though.

I think it is much easier not to talk about a loved one's sickness. My daughter was diagnosed with melanoma 7 years ago, and I had a very hard time talking about it.

When Ken Carter talks of going to school at St. Paul's, do you get a clearer idea of who Cobb is, or what ordinary life was like for him, just before the novel opened and he embarked on this adventure?

Somewhat of a clearer idea, however, not really sure of this one. I felt that I knew him before Ken Carter.

 

Mary is mistaken for a doctor, and although she explains that she isn't, she also rises to the occasion, and saves a boy's life in Lombok. What do we see about Mary in these scenes? Does the story of saving the child shed any light on Mary's condition? Does it change your feelings about her sickness at all?

I think Mary did a good job of explaining that she wasn't a doctor. I see compassion in Mary, I don't know if it because of what she is going through or that she is just a compassionate person. Most decent people would do whatever they could to save a person's life, (one would hope, anyway). It has no impact on how I feel about her sickness at all. It is sad no matter what.

 

What impression do you have of the mother and son at the end of chapter ten, when they come to seNo ite Mary off, and offer her their gratitude? Just that they are both very grateful.

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cmmn
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Re: Eternal on the Water: Chapters 9-10, Indonesia

Are you disturbed by Cobb not talking to Mary about her mother's revelation? Would it be easier to talk or to not talk about a loved one's sickness and death?   I can understand Cobb not talking to Mary.  From my own experience I know it not easy.  Somehow not talking about it makes it seem less real, like it's a mistake and everything is ok.  By not talking about it Cobb is living in the now and that is what Mary wants.

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nicole21WA
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Re: Eternal on the Water: Chapters 9-10, Indonesia

 


bookloverjb85 wrote:

I was wondering if someone could clarify something for me though.  Does Freddy know that Mary has Huntington's?  At one point Cobb and Freddy are discussing Mary and Freddy mentions something about her being happy for as long as she is around.  I did not know if Freddy knew whether Mary had it, and does Freddy have Huntington's?  It hasn't been mentioned yet and I don't know if it will, but that is one question that will be in the back of my mind while reading the rest of this book.

 


 

Well, I can't clarify since I don't know for sure either, but I do believe that Freddy knows Mary has Huntington's and that he doesn't.  Freddy just seems the type who would have to know his diagnosis.  As for him knowing about Mary, we now know that their mother had Mary tested as a child; I'd be willing to bet that even if she never explicitly told Freddy, she dropped enough hints (even if she didn't intend to) over the years.

 

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mediamissy
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Re: Eternal on the Water: Chapters 9-10, Indonesia

 

What is your impression of Mary's mother, and of her attitude toward Mary's illness?

The thought of the possibility that as a mother I could lose a child before me is heartbreaking.  However, Mary is living this amazing life and she is respecting her choice makes me feel as if as a mother she is allowing her child to live (even though she is a woman).  I also think the tie in that Mary's mother is in the nursing world make sense.  It is a part of life for those in the medical field.

 

Our landscape changes dramatically in these brief chapters. How does the story change?

Indonesia is definitely a different setting in one way from the river but I thought it was a new natural setting that includes that nature lover and adventure loving tie in that began the story.  Of course, here Cobb has to make his decision.

 

Are you disturbed by Cobb not talking to Mary about her mother's revelation? Would it be easier to talk or to not talk about a loved one's sickness and death?

I wasn't disturbed by Cobb's choice, if you truly love someone as he does Mary you respect there wishes.  And although the story moves quickly with Cobb and Mary truly loving each other I also think it's a fairly new relationship and to me there would be a sense of people trying to learn each other.

 

 

Mary is mistaken for a doctor, and although she explains that she isn't, she also rises to the occasion, and saves a boy's life in Lombok. What do we see about Mary in these scenes? Does the story of saving the child shed any light on Mary's condition? Does it change your feelings about her sickness at all?

This event in the book really showed me Mary's resilience, the idea that no situation is to large to tackle. I think the emphasis on her not being a doctor was allowing the parent to see that in this type of situation the outcome could go either way and that there was nothing they could do about it, a lot like Mary's illness.

 

What impression do you have of the mother and son at the end of chapter ten, when they come to see Mary off, and offer her their gratitude?  I thought it was a beautiful gesture of respect and gratitude for the mother and son to come and see Mary off.  She was the reason the child lived and although they didn't have anything to give as a gift but what the could offer was their respect and offer their allegiance.


 

 

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DarcyO
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Re: Eternal on the Water: Chapters 9-10, Indonesia

What is your impression of Mary's mother, and of her attitude toward Mary's illness?

 

Mary's mom Joan seems like a practical woman and she and Mary's dad needed to know if Mary had Huntington's. While Joan knows the test results, she hasn't told Mary, but Joan feels deep down Mary knows. Joan is a loving and supportive mom who takes her cues from Mary. She is the type of mom everyone should have.

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mgorbatjuk
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Re: Eternal on the Water: Chapters 9-10, Indonesia

I really like Mary's mother. It's because of her that Mary and Freddie have been given the freedom to be who they are. I would think Freddie could be a carrier of Huntington's disease also. Maybe because of what could be a limitation in their lives they live them to the fullest. I think their always mindful of different symptoms of the disease.

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Sheltiemama
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Re: Eternal on the Water: Chapters 9-10, Indonesia

Mary's mother is very pragmatic. She lived through the disease with Mary's father, and she sees life and death in her job every single day. She deals with what is, not what-ifs.

 

I'm not disturbed at all about Cobb not talking to Mary about her mother's revelation. She made her wishes clear, and he's respecting that. In addition, Mary's mother thinks Mary knows on some level that she does have Huntington's.

 

 

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SandyS
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Re: Eternal on the Water: Chapters 9-10, Indonesia

krb2g has a good point here.  I didn't think about it but Mary must know she has HD if she is a Chungamunga girl.

 

 


krb2g wrote:

With all these comments taken together, it seems to me that Mary knows she has the disease (otherwise she wouldn't be invited to become a Chungamunga girl, otherwise she wouldn't have taken steps so she couldn't have children [especially since children can only get HD from parents who have HD--it's a dominant mutation]) and is unwilling to admit that to herself.

 

Incidentally, Joan also thinks that Mary knows and chooses to avoid it, but perhaps Joan's perspective is clouded by Joan's knowledge (that Mary has the disease).


 

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girlie0620
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Re: Eternal on the Water: Chapters 9-10, Indonesia

I agree with you- Sheltiemama

 

I think Mary's mother accepts what is- she doesn't have a choice ultimately. She just chooses how to face it. I also think Cobb not talking to Mary about it is respecting and accepting her...her wishes. Mary doesn't say it out loud that she knows she has the disease for if she acknowledged it- it would be real. Concrete.

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inkslngr
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Re: Eternal on the Water: Chapters 9-10, Indonesia

[ Edited ]

What is your impression of Mary's mother, and of her attitude toward Mary's illness?

I like Mary's mom.  I like the fact that she gave her children the option of knowing about their illness or lack thereof from a very young age.  She respects her children and their feelings.

 

Our landscape changes dramatically in these brief chapters. How does the story change?

 I think to a point the story become a little more light hearted.  The child that was bitten takes the concentration of off Mary's illness and redirects it to someone else.  Working together through the night to save someone's life does a lot to bring Mary and Cobb together.

 

Are you disturbed by Cobb not talking to Mary about her mother's revelation? Would it be easier to talk or to not talk about a loved one's sickness and death?

 

For me it would be very hard.  First of all I would need to talk it out with them to come to terms with what was going to happen.  My mother had lung cancer and we did not talk much about it although we talked about her treatments we did not talk about the end until the end.  When you don't talk about it, it makes it a little easier to pretend it is not going to happen and to live life to the fullest.  After all that is what Mary wanted.  Right?

 

When Ken Carter talks of going to school at St. Paul's, do you get a clearer idea of who Cobb is, or what ordinary life was like for him, just before the novel opened and he embarked on this adventure?

 

Not much.  I think we had an idea about what life would have been like for him.

 

Mary is mistaken for a doctor, and although she explains that she isn't, she also rises to the occasion, and saves a boy's life in Lombok. What do we see about Mary in these scenes? Does the story of saving the child shed any light on Mary's condition? Does it change your feelings about her sickness at all?

 

I have said before that Mary does what Mary has to do.  The same here.  She steps up to the plate.  She knows in the end she cannot be save but, will do whatever she can do to save this little boy and give him his life back.

 

What impression do you have of the mother and son at the end of chapter ten, when they come to see Mary off, and offer her their gratitude?

 

I love the tradition and that they respected and honored her.

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lhays
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Re: Eternal on the Water: Chapters 9-10, Indonesia

What is your impression of Mary's mother, and of her attitude toward Mary's illness? I think that Mary's mother is very level-headed and is supportive of Mary's decision. She knows what is going to happen since she has already dealt with it with her husband. I was not shocked to know that her mother already knew. I would have tested my children because the not knowing would be harder than knowing. Then to not tell would also be a given so that they could live their lives without worrying about when they are going to die. Since she is a nurse she sees when the family holds on way too long and lets the sick one suffer. She supports Mary's decision to not go on living through the illness once it starts showing signs because she knows there is no meaningful life afterward.

 

Our landscape changes dramatically in these brief chapters. How does the story change? We see that Cobb is going to stay with Mary even with the knowledge of Mary's illness. That really isn't a shock. We see the love that her family has for her and that her brother has the same love for the outdoors as Mary.

 

Are you disturbed by Cobb not talking to Mary about her mother's revelation? Would it be easier to talk or to not talk about a loved one's sickness and death? It would be more disturbing if he would have talked about it. He already knew what Mary wanted, so that wasn't a factor. It would be hard to not talk about it, but he knew when he went into this relationship of Mary's wishes and he agreed to them.

 

When Ken Carter talks of going to school at St. Paul's, do you get a clearer idea of who Cobb is, or what ordinary life was like for him, just before the novel opened and he embarked on this  adventure? No, not really. The only thing that I got from the meeting with Ken Carter was that he was very much part of the college life fraternity. It's a small world that they meet and have the school in common.

 

Mary is mistaken for a doctor, and although she explains that she isn't, she also rises to the occasion, and saves a boy's life in Lombok. What do we see about Mary in these scenes? Does the story of saving the child shed any light on Mary's condition? Does it change your feelings about her sickness at all? She did what anyone would do if they had the knowledge to do so. She does value life and that is why she lives the way that she does. The boy didn't have a disease that would take away from living, he had a snake bite that he would heal from if he could make it throught he effects of the poison.

 

What impression do you have of the mother and son at the end of chapter ten, when they come to see Mary off, and offer her their gratitude? They are genuinely grateful for Mary taking the time and the courage to do what was needed to save the boys life.

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KateBrianIsAwesome
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Re: Eternal on the Water: Chapters 9-10, Indonesia

What is your impression of Mary's mother, and of her attitude toward Mary's illness?

Mary's mother is a straightfoward kind of person. She cares about her daughter but also has known the truth and is comfortable knowing. I can't really put it in words at the moment.

 

Our landscape changes dramatically in these brief chapters. How does the story change?

The change of setting provides the relationship a chance to take it up to the next level. We get to see how they react in a different environment.

 

Are you disturbed by Cobb not talking to Mary about her mother's revelation? Would it be easier to talk or to not talk about a loved one's sickness and death?

I'm not disturbed, Cobb was only respecting Mary's wishes. I think it would be easier to talk about a loved one's sickness and death. It will only bring that person and you closer.

 

What impression do you have of the mother and son at the end of chapter ten, when they come to see Mary off, and offer her their gratitude?

They are very appreciative and they wish Mary and good life.

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kboston
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Re: Eternal on the Water: Chapters 9-10, Indonesia

Are you disturbed by Cobb not talking to Mary about her mother's revelation? Would it be easier to talk or to not talk about a loved one's sickness and death?

 

 

I'm not disturbed by Cobb not talking to Mary about her mother's revelation.  They promised that whatever Cobb found out, he would keep to himself.  I can tell that it is hard for him not to reveal what he knows, but it's not his choice.  He agreed not to tell Mary and he also had the choice of not going to her after he found out.  I think it would be harder to talk about a loved one's illness, because you're focusing on the illness. Which is why I believe Mary doesn't want to talk about it.  She's seen what her father had to go through and she doesn't want to dwell on what will/may be.  She just wants to live in the moment.

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gl
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Re: Eternal on the Water: Chapters 9-10, Indonesia

 


 

Our landscape changes dramatically in these brief chapters. How does the story change?

 

I felt that the change in landscape gave the story both a change of pace and a chance an escape for Cobb and Mary, much like a fun trip early in a relationship adds through the shared adventure.

 

 

Are you disturbed by Cobb not talking to Mary about her mother's revelation? Would it be easier to talk or to not talk about a loved one's sickness and death?

 

No, Cobb was respecting the boundaries that Mary had set.  It would have seemed a stronger violation of trust/the terms of the relationship if he disclosed this information to her when she had actively made him aware of her refusal to find out!

 

 I felt that Cobb handled the situation with grace.

 

 

When Ken Carter talks of going to school at St. Paul's, do you get a clearer idea of who Cobb is, or what ordinary life was like for him, just before the novel opened and he embarked on this adventure?

 

I thought that the description of St Paul's was accurate and gave a good sense of Cobb's life before he met Mary. 

 

 

What impression do you have of the mother and son at the end of chapter ten, when they come to see Mary off, and offer her their gratitude?

 

I felt that the mother and son were gracious, grateful, and sincere in their expression of gratitude.  The son's speech was very touching - I couldn't help crying.  Is this something that someone from Indonesia might really say in this situation?

 

 


 


Rachel-K wrote:

What is your impression of Mary's mother, and of her attitude toward Mary's illness?

 

Our landscape changes dramatically in these brief chapters. How does the story change?

 

Are you disturbed by Cobb not talking to Mary about her mother's revelation? Would it be easier to talk or to not talk about a loved one's sickness and death?

 

When Ken Carter talks of going to school at St. Paul's, do you get a clearer idea of who Cobb is, or what ordinary life was like for him, just before the novel opened and he embarked on this adventure?

 

Mary is mistaken for a doctor, and although she explains that she isn't, she also rises to the occasion, and saves a boy's life in Lombok. What do we see about Mary in these scenes? Does the story of saving the child shed any light on Mary's condition? Does it change your feelings about her sickness at all?

 

What impression do you have of the mother and son at the end of chapter ten, when they come to see Mary off, and offer her their gratitude?


 

 

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Cyscokitty
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Re: Eternal on the Water: Chapters 9-10, Indonesia


bookloverjb85 wrote:

 

I was wondering if someone could clarify something for me though.  Does Freddy know that Mary has Huntington's?  At one point Cobb and Freddy are discussing Mary and Freddy mentions something about her being happy for as long as she is around.  I did not know if Freddy knew whether Mary had it, and does Freddy have Huntington's?  It hasn't been mentioned yet and I don't know if it will, but that is one question that will be in the back of my mind while reading the rest of this book.

 

I think that what Mary did for that little boy and mother was amazing.  I think it also shows us how much she had to deal with medical issues throughout her life.  I do not think that most people would know to do what she did and she was all ready and somewhat willing to do a tracheotomy (spelling?).  It shows that she has seen and dealt with a lot more than most people at this point in their lives.


 

I have the same question. I was beginning to think I had missed something since this hasn't been mentioned until now. I don't see how Freddy is immune from the same genetic issue that Mary has. At leas through chapter 10, there's no hint he might also have the disease. I'm still reading through this thread so maybe someone has the answer further down.

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Cyscokitty
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Re: Eternal on the Water: Chapters 9-10, Indonesia

I found that I liked Mary's mother and wasn't really surprised by her emotional response to her daughter's illness since she's had so much time to get used to the idea. Also, her medical background gives her a perspective others wouldn't have.

 

I am a warm-weather person. I love islands and beaches and sun and sea. I was hoping that there would be more chapters on Indonesia since they spent so much more time there than they did on the river. This section seemed more like a brief interlude from real life rather than several months living and working on an island. Something of an intermission.

 

I didn't really expect Cobb to discuss Mary's illness with her. She says she doesn't want to know and doesn't want it to infringe on her life. It seemed to me she had taken the rule that you didn't discuss illness on the river as a life choice and Cobb honored that.

 

While I enjoyed the chapters on Indonesia immensely, I was more interested in the natural world, the turtles and the conservation aspects. I  did not find the scenes with Ken Carter, the injured boy and the final scene of gratitude very interesting. And, in the case of saving the boy, I found it less than believable.

 

 

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Re: Eternal on the Water: Chapters 9-10, Indonesia

What is your impression of Mary's mother, and of her attitude toward Mary's illness?

 

She had gone through it with her husband, and I think she just wanted Mary to be happy and live what was left of her life in the fullest way possible.

 

Our landscape changes dramatically in these brief chapters. How does the story change?

 

It moves to a warmer climate, which shows (to me) the growing warmth of Mary and Cobb's relationship.

 

Are you disturbed by Cobb not talking to Mary about her mother's revelation? Would it be easier to talk or to not talk about a loved one's sickness and death?

 

I am, but it was Mary's wish.  However, I think it was a bit selfish to have him carry that knowledge without being able to tell her.  I have been up-front and honest with my children about their chances of having Huntington's, and my ex-husband was up-front and honest with me about his chances before we ever started our relationship.  He allowed it to be my choice.  No one said it is easy to talk about sickness and death, but it is a part of life.


When Ken Carter talks of going to school at St. Paul's, do you get a clearer idea of who Cobb is, or what ordinary life was like for him, just before the novel opened and he embarked on this adventure?

 

I kind of had an idea of what his life was like, but Ken Carter reiterated the idea for me.


Mary is mistaken for a doctor, and although she explains that she isn't, she also rises to the occasion, and saves a boy's life in Lombok. What do we see about Mary in these scenes? Does the story of saving the child shed any light on Mary's condition? Does it change your feelings about her sickness at all?

 

She did what any human with some compassion would have done, and got involved.  Sometimes the right decision is the most difficult thing to do.  I think the scene just points to Mary's character.  I really didn't see a connection between the boy's poisoning and Mary's condition, except that they both had to "wait and see" if they would die.  It didn't change my feelings.

 

What impression do you have of the mother and son at the end of chapter ten, when they come to see Mary off, and offer her their gratitude?

 

I thought they were very gracious, and it was heartwarming.

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Tarri
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Re: Eternal on the Water: Chapters 9-10, Indonesia

What is your impression of Mary's mother, and of her attitude toward Mary's illness?

 

Mary's mother is an amazing woman.  She learned that her daughter's future would not be long, yet she was able to look beyond the pending illness and give Mary the freedom to live a life of adventure and joy.  I think my first inclination would have been to bubble wrap my daughter and keep her safe and by my side as long as possible. 


Are you disturbed by Cobb not talking to Mary about her mother's revelation? Would it be easier to talk or to not talk about a loved one's sickness and death?   

 

No, because that is what he promised.  For me, it would be impossible to pretend, so I admire anyone who can just go on about their business.

 

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C-c-a
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Re: Eternal on the Water: Chapters 9-10, Indonesia

I like Mary's mother. She has dealt with this illness and understands the complications. As a mother myself, I would want to know if my daughter had the gene.

 

I found the change of scenery to be refreshing. I do not think much changed in the story though.

 

No, I am not bothered by Cobb not discussing Mary's mothers revelation. I have a feeling at some point he may decide to talk to Mary about the illness. I think at this point he is processing the information and deciding how to deal with everything.

I do not think it is easy to discuss death or illness but I do think it is necessary. I think it is good for both parties to talk openly about the disease.

 

I think Mary was not sure how to react with the sick boy at first. I liked how she did step up and help out. Maybe she felt she would want the same treatment if she were in the same position as the sick boy.