Family Lives

[Rachel-K]

Is this novel a love story? Can a story about the ups and downs of a family be a love story in the ordinary sense? Why or why not?

Why are there so many failures in the marriages in this family?

What are your predictions for Daniel and Meridia?

[Shadowwolf36]

I do believe this can be considered a love story. Not necessarily an ordinary love story but....I think when you have such strong personalities such as those of Meridia, Eva and Ravenna, the men in their lives tend to take a back seat. The men retreated into their own worlds -- Daniel and Gabriel with other women and Elias with his books -- rather than fight for what they wanted. I believe Gabriel loved Ravenna and just couldn't fight the demons that caused their break. I certainly think that Meridia will eventually break this cycle and that she and Daniel will eventually mend their broken fences. Her thoughtfulness on Eva's behalf after everything that Eva had done to her and others showed that she still cared for Daniel to a very large extent.

[DSaff]

I do believe that this book is a love story. We see many types of love: parent/child, friend to friend, husband/wife, sibling to sibling. We also see all of the foibles and blemishes that can accompany that love.

At the start, we see two couples with very dysfunctional marriages raising children who will probably be dysfunctional as well. Gabriel and Ravenna go through the motions, but don't show any love for each other or their daughter. In the end, we find that while they loved each other, they couldn't abide any defects in that love. That eventually drove them apart. In the end, we also found how much they both loved their daughter, although Meridia never gets any time with Gabriel to understand that piece of him.

Eva and Elias seem to have been doomed from the start. Elias loves his children, although he goes overboard with Permony to make up for the love she is missing from her mother. Eva exerts control over everyone and never lets us know if she truly loves anyone but herself. I do think she realizes that she loves Elias in the end, but it is too late to save him.

The love story I think the book concentrates on is that between Daniel and Meridia. I think they have a real love, but through the enormous stress and strain exerted from outside, and the lofty expectations exerted from inside, they were destined to separate. Meridia tried to save her marriage, but ended up acting very much like Eva by harping on things to Daniel. Daniel was too weak to stand up to anyone and totally succumbed to his mother and an affair. Only when the truth really "stung" him did Daniel realize how much he loved his family, how much he loved Meridia. In that moment, he knew he had to stand up and be counted. It was almost too late. I think Meridia was also ready to take responsibility for her part in the problems. We see her having compassion on Eva in the end and for Daniel as well. That last lines of the book, "Your mother is dying. She's in pain and she has no one but you. Bury her and come back to me." tells me that they will get back together. They will be stronger and better for the problems they have overcome. 

Daniel and Meridia will be a family again, not because they had good examples to follow, because they didn't. It will work because they are learning to love each other without conditions and contol.

[dhaupt]

This novel is definitely a love story, now I didn't say it was a romance and some people put the two together and they shouldn't be. This novel is about the love of family, marital love, the love of friends and helpers and the loss of love the jealousy that kills love, the hurtfulness that hides in the hateful words that loved ones speak to one another in the heat of battle. It's also about the redemption that comes from a second chance at love the healing that comes from forgiveness and the realization that harboring resentment can only cause misunderstanding and that honesty is always the best policy in any type of love.

The failures in the marriages of this family stem from the dysfunctional upbringing where the children were blind to the realities of their mother's despicable acts.

I think Daniel and Meridia will make a second go at their marriage and that it will be a success because of all that the failure taught not only Daniel but Meridia as well and the main reason it will work this time is that the love is still there. 

[Immortal-Spirit]

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DSaff wrote:

I do believe that this book is a love story. We see many types of love: parent/child, friend to friend, husband/wife, sibling to sibling. We also see all of the foibles and blemishes that can accompany that love.

At the start, we see two couples with very dysfunctional marriages raising children who will probably be dysfunctional as well. Gabriel and Ravenna go through the motions, but don't show any love for each other or their daughter. In the end, we find that while they loved each other, they couldn't abide any defects in that love. That eventually drove them apart. In the end, we also found how much they both loved their daughter, although Meridia never gets any time with Gabriel to understand that piece of him.

Eva and Elias seem to have been doomed from the start. Elias loves his children, although he goes overboard with Permony to make up for the love she is missing from her mother. Eva exerts control over everyone and never lets us know if she truly loves anyone but herself. I do think she realizes that she loves Elias in the end, but it is too late to save him.

The love story I think the book concentrates on is that between Daniel and Meridia. I think they have a real love, but through the enormous stress and strain exerted from outside, and the lofty expectations exerted from inside, they were destined to separate. Meridia tried to save her marriage, but ended up acting very much like Eva by harping on things to Daniel. Daniel was too weak to stand up to anyone and totally succumbed to his mother and an affair. Only when the truth really "stung" him did Daniel realize how much he loved his family, how much he loved Meridia. In that moment, he knew he had to stand up and be counted. It was almost too late. I think Meridia was also ready to take responsibility for her part in the problems. We see her having compassion on Eva in the end and for Daniel as well. That last lines of the book, "Your mother is dying. She's in pain and she has no one but you. Bury her and come back to me." tells me that they will get back together. They will be stronger and better for the problems they have overcome. 

Daniel and Meridia will be a family again, not because they had good examples to follow, because they didn't. It will work because they are learning to love each other without conditions and contol.

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I couldn't agree more!

[CathyB]

I did not see this novel as a love story. I just saw it as a story of a very dysfunctional family regardless of all the symbolism. I saw the symbolism as just a twist tomake the story stand apart from other novels about dysfunctional families.

There are so many failures in the marriages in this family because if one does not have an example of a healthy, loving relationship, it is hard (but not impossible) to have one for yourself.

I think that Daniel and Meridia will get back together for a time but, will eventually end up apart.

[Rachel-K]

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dhaupt wrote:

This novel is definitely a love story, now I didn't say it was a romance and some people put the two together and they shouldn't be.

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This is a nice distinction. A romance tends to put the bumps in the road during dating--and all the misunderstandings get solved sweetly and the result is marriage!

Bees and Mist doesn't allow such easy, happy assumptions about married life!

[HannibalCat]

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rkubie wrote:

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dhaupt wrote:

This novel is definitely a love story, now I didn't say it was a romance and some people put the two together and they shouldn't be.

---

This is a nice distinction. A romance tends to put the bumps in the road during dating--and all the misunderstandings get solved sweetly and the result is marriage!

Bees and Mist doesn't allow such easy, happy assumptions about married life!

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I totally agree. The love is there. It is buried under bees and mists, anger and selfishness, but it is there. It is seen in the way the characters help their children, Meridia helps Daniel, Daniel reclaimes Meridia, and Pilar tries to help her sister. Patina stays to help Eva, even though she knows how hurtful Eva is. Even Noah shows the love he has for his mother when he, I think, kills his bird. I think he knew there was something wrong with the bird for his mother and got rid of it.

This story is loaded with love. It also is loaded with the foibles of humans and their own egos and how those egos cause such problems to themselves and their loved ones.

[PiperMurphy]

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rkubie wrote:

Is this novel a love story? Can a story about the ups and downs of a family be a love story in the ordinary sense? Why or why not?

Why are there so many failures in the marriages in this family?

What are your predictions for Daniel and Meridia?

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In a way this is a love story in that it deals with familial love. It's about two people trying to find love with each other while trying to overcome their dysfunctional families. It is love, or the lack of love, that causes the dysfunction.

I think that there are so many failures within the family because no one has any idea what a good marriage is. Eva's selfishness and self-pity prevent any kind of a normal relationship with Elias. Ravenna's resentment pushes Gabriel away. Everyone is so wrapped up in themselves that they don't consider anyone else. It is amazing that Daniel and Meridia had any kind of a normal relationship. To her credit, it was Meridia who understood what a normal loving relationship should be. I think that Meridia has grown into a strong person who will make her marriage work.

[booksJT]

I think this is a love story. It is the love between friends,siblings  and the parents. Although it would seem that the parents forgot about the love that once had. Yes. Love is filled with ups and downs within families. But love is what keeps them together in the end.

I think their are so many failures because of outside influences. Both parents are trying to supervise their children about how they should be living their lives. In addition, when parents interfere the children try not to disappoint their parents by siding with them. Mistrust develops between the spouses and this causes more friction in the marriage. Had the parents let the kids do things on their own they would have managed better. Parents always feel they know  what is best for their son or daughter without asking them how they feel.

I think that Daniel and Meridia will finally get their act together. Now that  neither one of there are not outside influences they will live a long and happy life. 

[Sassy398]

In someways it could possibley be a love story, not in a normal sense. There was alot of

abnormal ways both families tries in a weird sense to show some type of caring.

The failures in the marriages is partly due to curses and some is because both sets

of parents put their noses where it did not belong.

 Daniel and Meridia might half a chance now that there is no more outside intereference.

 It is now a relization to Daniel that his mother is not the mother he thought she was

 and never will be.

[ImBookingIt]

This book is a love story, although it is in no way part of the romance genre.

 The book explores different kinds of love-- teen romance, planned marriage, siblings, parent-child, even love for ones self.

In addition to the question of why "so many failures in the marriages", I'd like to add why so many traumatic births.  Both marriage and childbirth are difficult, but not as bad as this book makes them seem, and that bothers me.

My prediction for Daniel and Meridia is that Daniel's bees are just in hiding.  Daniel and Meridia will reconcile, and they will be happy for a while.  Then Meridia will do something to disapoint Daniel (not listen to his advice?  Be too successful on her own?) and the bees will start buzzing, and it will all start over again.

[kiakar]

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Sassy398 wrote:

In someways it could possibley be a love story, not in a normal sense. There was alot of

abnormal ways both families tries in a weird sense to show some type of caring.

The failures in the marriages is partly due to curses and some is because both sets

of parents put their noses where it did not belong.

 Daniel and Meridia might half a chance now that there is no more outside intereference.

 It is now a relization to Daniel that his mother is not the mother he thought she was

 and never will be.

---

I think of it as a love story. All love is totally different because the people involved are so different. I feel it certainly should be called a love story when its a man and woman usually married with a child or children. They meet, usually declare love that meanders around them and then they marry and of course the rest is alot of histories.

And every marriage goes through tremendous amount of pain and suffering. For something so precious as a life together with the one you love, there is got to be storms of a plenty coming toward you. But you must know how to face these storms and always remember your love even at times you do not feel it, it is still there.

I think with Daniel and Meridia, they shown this in their actions. Daniel wouldn't give up trying to get her back. I do not know if Daniel really believed or understood what Meridia was trying to say about his mother. Did he really believe that she was a liar and a cheat or was he solely defending Meridia for the sake of her not leaving him.

It is obvious that the couple shouldn't have lived with the inlaws at all. A son is always close usually that is, to his mother and those feelings will entwine and explode with those emotions felt by a young married couple. Not only in this story, but to me, its a fact of alot of marriages that go wrong.

[emmagrace]

I think that this was a love story. Life and love are not perfect and this novel surely shows many un-perfect examples of life and love. I think in the end love conquered all! When Meridia told Daniel to go and take care of things and come back to her, I just knew that somehow they would be okay. In the beginning I was not sure about Ravenna, but in the end she proved her love for her daughter! This was definitely a love story to me!

I predict that Daniel and Meridia can finally find peace and that they can begin rebuilding their love!

[TRJ4SQ]

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rkubie wrote:

Is this novel a love story? Can a story about the ups and downs of a family be a love story in the ordinary sense? Why or why not?

Why are there so many failures in the marriages in this family?

What are your predictions for Daniel and Meridia?

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I cannot say that this novel is a love story but a novel that contains many stories of love. I would place it in the category of fantastical family drama instead.

I wouldn't necessarily consider the marriages failed because the couples have stayed together, no matter how bad it was. There must have been some love bond no matter how distorted it may have been. I would say that the marriages are faulty and mostly due to lack of honest communication with their spouses. No one seems to be able to express how they really feel, hence, the frustrations and hostilities arise, distancing the couples from true love.

I can't say for Daniel and Merida at this point but I'm hoping they will learn from their parents what NOT to do. So far so good with them. They've managed to weather separation, financial difficulty, a difficulty pregnancy/birth and meddling parents.

[MSaff]

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rkubie wrote:

Is this novel a love story? Can a story about the ups and downs of a family be a love story in the ordinary sense? Why or why not?

Why are there so many failures in the marriages in this family?

What are your predictions for Daniel and Meridia?

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Good Afternoon Everyone,

  Family Lives is a great title for this discussion point.  I must say that I have thoroughly enjoyed this novel.  Now for my thoughts on Family Lives. 

  I definitely consider this novel a Love story in the sense that the entire story from the beginning shows a little girl, Meridia, looking for love and understanding from her mother and father, but only finding it when she meets Daniel, later on in her short life.  

  Anyone who has ever truly loved can probably attest to the fact that it takes work to make love work and last.  Certainly any story which brings out the ups and downs of family life can accept it as a love story.  This of course means that the people involved must truly be in love to begin with.

  I believe that there are so many failed marriages in this family because for the most part, if you recall from the beginning, most marriages were arranged between parents of the two to be married.  They were for the most part marriages of convenience and stature, rather than brought about by Love.  This cycle was broken when Daniel and Meridia met.  Their courtship led to true love.  Their marriage was not arranged.  (Of course the above is only My opinion).

  I think that Daniel and Meridia are going to be just fine.  Yes, we found that throughout the story, they certainly had the ups and downs, with a lot of help of Eva, but in the end you can see that they, Daniel and Meridia do love each other.  I have a strong feeling that their love is going to grow even stronger and they will prevail.  

  Lastly,  the very last three sentences of the story show me that they will grow old together.  "Your mother is dying.  She's in pain and she has no one but you.  Bury her, and come back to me."  Those 3 sentences says it all.  Meridia and Daniel are deeply in love.

[LISA-BRYAN]

 This story is so much more than just a love story.  It is a multi-generational story about love, loss, success, failures...

Meridia will be just fine -- she is a confident woman who can survive anything...

Daniel will die a lonely pathetic "man" unless he grows some kahonies so to speak....

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rkubie wrote:

Is this novel a love story? Can a story about the ups and downs of a family be a love story in the ordinary sense? Why or why not?

Why are there so many failures in the marriages in this family?

What are your predictions for Daniel and Meridia?

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[Jo6353]

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rkubie wrote:

Is this novel a love story? Can a story about the ups and downs of a family be a love story in the ordinary sense? Why or why not?

Why are there so many failures in the marriages in this family?

What are your predictions for Daniel and Meridia?

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I think that this is a story about relationships.  And yes it is a love story.  Love is not easy and many times it blinds us to the real issues which therefore are never truly dealt with and give longlasting erroneous impressions.  Meridia spends her life believing that her parents don't love her.  They do but don't know how to show it.

I feel that Daniel & Meridia will be just fine but it will be a long haul repairing the damage to their relationship.

[Read-n-Rider]

As others have said, I think this is a story of love on many levels.  As far as Meridia and Daniel are concerned, I think that they will get back together and stay together, though they will undoubtedly have their ups and downs, as do all married couples.  I  think they have both grown stronger as the book has progressed, especially Meridia.  I think that she realizes that Daniel does really love her and that, with Eva no longer there to be a negative influence, their marriage will survive.  Her show of concern, for both Daniel and Eva, at the story's end, shows that Meridia has indeed become a mature and very compassionate woman.

Joan 

[bookowlie]

I did not consider this novel to be a love story.  I think it was a relationships story, the interconnecting relationships that bind and tear apart a family.  I guess there was love in the story, but there was so much negativity and dysfunction clouding all the relationships that the term "love story" wouldn't primarily describe the book for me.

I think Daniel and Meridia will get back together eventually, at least that's what I hope.   I think (hope?) they will break the cycle of bad family relationships.  I felt there was hope for them when Meridia took care of Eva at the end.