Gabriel

[KimberlyH]

Gabriel seems to be a man with a cold heart.  You could look at this allows as a man with a longing heart who does not know how to reconcile his wants, desires and needs.  I feel sorry for him.  Not this behavior – that is completely uncalled for when her interacts with his daughter.  The coldness in the house has seemed to greatly affect him.  It is hard to tell when the coldness came into their lives.  Before or after the mists / before or after the affair.  He seems to be under a spell – you feel this on page 14 when Meridia is chasing after the mists and her father does not see her.  Perhaps the only thing holding her father to the house and her mother is Maridia.  His love and bitterness for her could be tightly woven together.

[RNLana]

I think Gabriel was a loving husband and father, prone to brag and be arrogant, taking his good fortune for granted.  The curse or magic set upon the house by the wind, forced him to live in a cold, lonely world...one which he eventually left to find refuge from the cold.  I am not sure why he is so awful and hating toward Meridia, except that perhaps he places blame for his cold existence ultimately on her birth.

We get a glimpse of him again when Ravenna forces him to allow Meridia's marriage to Daniel.  He is reminded of the woman he once loved.

I think Gabriel is a captive of the house and mists.  The mists permit him to leave, but he must return. 

I am really enjoying this book and I find it very hard to resist the temptation of reading ahead!

Lana

[TrishNYC]

I started out thinking that Gabriel was the typical absent minded patriach who though somewhat uninvolved or seemingly cold at the outset, has a pivotal scene where he shows the main character, in this case Meridia, and the readers that he is actually a good man. But I was wrong. I think that Gabriel is a loathsome character with very few if any redeeming qualities. Its bad enough the relationship he has with his wife but his behavior toward his daughter is reprehensible. One can find ways to excuse his behavior, his fear that loving her may cause the same hurt he experienced with her mother, his detachment from her will protect her from any curses the towns folk may put on her, etc, etc . Whatever his excuse, nothing makes his actions acceptable.He potentially damages a young child who like any child just wants to be loved. But I do think there might be a big reveal somewhere along the line that may explain why he has taken this stand on life (or not). 

I think the mists represent the loss of love that the house has suffered. They hover and stay for a length of time as accomplices in the disintergration of the household. I am reminded of the jinn or genie as they are called in the English language who are sometimes outright evil or sometimes just michevious.

[RNLana]

Yes!  I completely agree.  I like to take part in the discussions, but if there are going to be spoilers, I might just wait until the end and read and post then.  This just ruins the ehjoyment of the discussions for me.

Lana

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Carmenere_lady wrote:

Spoiler Alert would have been nice at the beginning of this post.

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LISA-BRYAN wrote:

1) What are your first impressions of Gabriel?

He is a cold unloving old man with little use for his wife and daughter.

2) Is this man truly so hateful of his own daughter? Do you have any understanding of his awful behavior toward her?

Gabriel is a bully towards Meridia --- he mocks her and treats her awfully.  Perhaps any attention on his part could be construed as love -- but it is a stretch.

3) Do your feelings for Gabriel change as the story goes on?

Yes - he actually does care and love Meridia... if it wasn't for him things would have been much different for Meridia and Daniel and Noah. 

No - his 20+ year affair with Pilar really puts a knife in you... how he could continue a relationship - knowing that his mistress was connected with his daughter's new family was very upsetting.

4) What is Gabriel's relationship with the house and with the mists?

Gabriel eats meals at the house.  When he arrives so do some of the mists.... thus combining with Ravenna's mists make the house colder and less inviting to outsiders.

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[AshALee]

My initial impression of Gabriel was a cold emotionally distant scholar who saved his energy for his work.  When they talked later of how different his relationship with Ravenna was before Meridia was born,  I wondered what the  mists had cast over their house.  It was difficult for me to dislike anyone in the story, aside from Eva, because it was set up early on that Gabriel's house cast a spell all it's own.  I felt pity for Gabriel throughout, and then sympathy when everything was unveiled. 

[babzilla41]

My first impression of Gabriel was that he is a cold, spiteful man.  But as I read on, I think that he is afraid to show Meridia any love because of what happened between him and his wife.  He loved her desparately but that love turned into something that we don't know the full extent of at this point.  I think he believes, in some sense, that his actions will protect Meridia.  Unfortunately, his little daughter can only believe that he hates her.

[babzilla41]

Also, I think that his treatment of Meridia is meant to protect himself from the hurt he experienced from the loss of the love he had and shared with Ravena. 

[LISA-BRYAN]

I find it interesting that the name Gabriel means man of God or strength of God.

[Zeal]

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dhaupt wrote:

Oh my I really can't voice how I really feel about Gabriel in polite company. Lets just say that I dislike him intensely since my mother told me never to say hate.

I don't know the true reason why Gabriel acts like he does to Meridia, I know that it has something to do with his relationship w/Ravenna and what happened that fateful night when Meridia was a baby.

So far my feelings have only intensified for Gabriel for no matter his relationship with his wife the way he treats his child is abominable.

Gabriel is one of the reasons the house is so cold and in the early chapters I'll say that he uses the mists to his benefit to hide his escape and return to the house. Like they kind of hide his shame.

Message Edited by dhaupt on 06-01-2009 10:34 AM

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Wow!!  You have Gabriel pegged exactly (in my opinion)!

[Zeal]

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kiakar wrote:

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ponkle wrote:
Gabriel does appear cold and hateful but I have to wonder the reasons for this. Just as the mist provides a barrier, is his treatment of Meridia to keep from loving her because he doesn't want to love her mother anymore? Possibly this helps him feel apart from Ravenna.

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I know alot of people disagree but I do feel pity for a remarkable mean person. Something has made them react to life in this manner. And the most common answer by others is "he doesn't have to be ugly to others because he suffers inside from some hidden dark reasons. But I will always say for some, life is more difficult than it is for others. Some things do not effect some as it does others.  So if someone is letting the dark things overshadow them and it makes them a miserable person then I pity that person. If that person knew how, I believe he wouldn't want to be miserable, he would change. Sometimes it just takes time and wisdom to do it. I know there are still mountains of things to learn as of yet. It is especially cruel to tell a child she is ugly, useless and not worthy. It really affects that child all their life and it doesn't matter the reason for it. And maybe that is what happened to Gabriel. I do not think anyone is born bad or mean. The world makes us or begins us and then through many trials and tribulatons we change for the better or worse.

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I just agreed with a post a few above, but I can see your point.  I am not quite to the stage of pitying Gabriel, but I do think that he may be afraid to love Meridia.  He lost the love of Ravenna (something terrible obviously happened between them), so he has gone to the other extreme and is not willing to take the chance of loving (Meridia) again.  By treating Meridia with such hatred, is Gabriel trying to ensure that she does not love him either?  Maybe he could not bare to accept that love or give it in return.

Message Edited by Zeal on 06-03-2009 02:49 PM

[Mommy-Read-Wri…]

What are your first impressions of Gabriel?

I don't like Gabriel.  Any man who can treat his daughter so shamefully, disrespectfully and without love is not going to get my pity.

Is this man truly so hateful of his own daughter? Do you have any understanding of his awful behavior toward her?

We're being led to believe that is awful treatment of her is because of the evil and the mist over the house.  However, I feel Gabriel must've been a pretty weak man to begin with to succumb so completely and horribly to the mist.  Even Ravenna has moments of lucidity and caring toward Meridia.

[drbjaded]

He is a VERY cruel man.  I mean just because his own life is miserable and he caused his own misery doesn't mean he has to take it out on an innocent child.  I'd think he would love her more and feel a stronger bond with her and not let some sort of curse take over his life.  He's feeding more off of the curse with this behavior he exhibits towards Meridia.  From the beginning of the book, I first got the impression that he was not Meridia's father by the way he acted. 

This man HATES her.  I just don't understand his EXTREME hatred towards her.  How a man can feel that way about his own flesh and blood.  I would think the bad times in life would only make the bond and the love you hold for someone stronger.  He'd fight against the curse and FORCE his life to work out and show the villagers that he is succeeding in his life.  He should show his strength in the face of adversity and not let the mist and the cold get him down.  He's a very weak man. 

My feelings have not changed for him at all.  He's a jerk.

The house doesn't want him there.  It's extremely cold for him in the home and the mist seems to agree with his comings and goings to his mistress.  The mist seems to be hiding his secrets and welcomes his cheating ways and miserable attitude.  In many ways it may be feeding his thoughts.  Making him more miserable.  I'm sure I'd be miserable if I had a mist following me around wherever I went. 

I had some doubts on this book but I LOVE it.  I can't put it down.  Excellent job again B&N.  Thanks!

Julie in Texas

[ponie]

How sad that the first thing Meridia noticed about her father was his resentment toward her. (p.4)  From Gabriel there is no affection, no kind word.  Perhaps he acts as he does because as the nurse says (p.5) some men can't help themselves when they're battered.  This is a sad testimony to the adage in the mental health field that hurt people hurt people; an explanation for such behavior, not an excuse.

As most children do, Meridia makes it about herself.  She believes his cruelty is about her; something she has done or hasn't done.  Whatever the problem is she believes it is her fault; that she doesn't measure up.  She thinks had she only performed better, been smarter, prettier, he might not look at her with such contempt. (p.13)

It is a powerful and sacred thing to have so much ride on one's response and behavior to another, especially your child.  That's parenting.  Gabriel, for whatever reason(s), is abusing that sacred trust.  Unless Meridia develops a strong sense of self, in spite of her father (and mother), she may be limited to his expressed view of her.

Emotional and psychological abuse is so much harder to "prove" and substantiate than actual physical abuse because you can't see the scars.  Hatred is often "easier to handle" than apathy.  However in spite of his cruelty her heart never turned against him. (p.26)  Reminds me of reports of social services going into homes where children are being abused.  The child will cling to the abusing parent, and cry at being taken from them, so strong is the need for a relationship with the parent.

I think Gabriel hates himself.  I think there is an issue (or 2 or 3...!) between himself and Ravenna that festers like an open wound; unreconciled, unresolved, unforgiven.  Meridia has become the target and container for what truly belongs to Gabriel and Ravenna.  Ravenna confirms this when she tells Meridia your father does not hate you, your father hates me. (p.75)

There are many damaging secrets here.  Hard to see them all in the mists!  It is said that the truth will set you free...but the journey to the truth is often long and very difficult.  We shall see.

[ponie]

I think Gabriel's (past) passion for Ravenna (what they once had) is reawakened in part by seeing Meridia's passion for Daniel (what they now have). 

[patfayo]

**SPOILER ALERT**

He is definitely a sad man.....emotionally detached to say the least.  He takes his dislike anger and frustration he has towards Ravenna on his child, Meridia. He wanted a boy so this may have something to do with it.  I must say he pulled through for her when she needed him though.  I had to stop reading for few days because I got too far ahead for the discussions.  Now I can't wait to see if Ravenna and he reconcile in any way....Not sure what chapters but he sees his grandson once a year on the child's birthday for a very short time....and the way the child presents hinself is amazing considering how young he is.

Message Edited by rkubie on 06-08-2009 11:41 AM

[learningdragon]

I think that Gabriel is so hateful towards his daughter because he feels guilty for the other woman he's keeping as a result of the distance that's developed between himself and dhis wife. I think that as long as he harbors the resentment and carries on the affair, the mist will continue to exist.

[kboston]

What are your first impressions of Gabriel?

Gabriel is a cruel father (just like Eva seems to be a cruel mother-in-law, but not in the same way)

Is this man truly so hateful of his own daughter? Do you have any understanding of his awful behavior toward her?

There aren't any instances in chapters 1-9, that indicate he loves or cares for her at all. 

Do your feelings for Gabriel change as the story goes on?

I dislike him even more by the end of ch.9

[joyfull]

It sounds like we are all in agreement that Gabriel is scum. At least in the chapters we've read so far, there is not much to like. Of course, at some point he was a loving husband and proud father.

How does a person change so completely? We don't know yet. It would have to have something monumental to have caused such a turn around. But no matter what happened to make the change, I just can't forgive a person who would treat a child the way he did Meridia. That is just inexcusable. He'll have to do something major in future chapters to make me change my mind about him.

[nfam]

Gabriel certainly appears to be an unpleasant person. The question is why. Does he want to be that way? Did something make him that way? It appears that the birth of his child, Meridia, changed his life. Unless the nurse was lying, (which is possible) the couple had a much different relationship before the birth of Meridia. I believe that Gabriel is extremely unhappy and sees Meridia and possibly all women as people who have ruined his life.

I'm eager to find out whether he changes as the story progresses. At this point, I don't loathe him. I feel sorry for him. 

[Thayer]

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ponie wrote:

How sad that the first thing Meridia noticed about her father was his resentment toward her. (p.4)  From Gabriel there is no affection, no kind word.  Perhaps he acts as he does because as the nurse says (p.5) some men can't help themselves when they're battered.  This is a sad testimony to the adage in the mental health field that hurt people hurt people; an explanation for such behavior, not an excuse.

As most children do, Meridia makes it about herself.  She believes his cruelty is about her; something she has done or hasn't done.  Whatever the problem is she believes it is her fault; that she doesn't measure up.  She thinks had she only performed better, been smarter, prettier, he might not look at her with such contempt. (p.13)

It is a powerful and sacred thing to have so much ride on one's response and behavior to another, especially your child.  That's parenting.  Gabriel, for whatever reason(s), is abusing that sacred trust.  Unless Meridia develops a strong sense of self, in spite of her father (and mother), she may be limited to his expressed view of her.

Emotional and psychological abuse is so much harder to "prove" and substantiate than actual physical abuse because you can't see the scars.  Hatred is often "easier to handle" than apathy.  However in spite of his cruelty her heart never turned against him. (p.26)  Reminds me of reports of social services going into homes where children are being abused.  The child will cling to the abusing parent, and cry at being taken from them, so strong is the need for a relationship with the parent.

I think Gabriel hates himself.  I think there is an issue (or 2 or 3...!) between himself and Ravenna that festers like an open wound; unreconciled, unresolved, unforgiven.  Meridia has become the target and container for what truly belongs to Gabriel and Ravenna.  Ravenna confirms this when she tells Meridia your father does not hate you, your father hates me. (p.75)

There are many damaging secrets here.  Hard to see them all in the mists!  It is said that the truth will set you free...but the journey to the truth is often long and very difficult.  We shall see.

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Well "said" Ponie! I think you nailed it.