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Rachel-K
Posts: 1,495
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
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Who's out?

What does it mean to be "out?" What are the implications if you aren't? Why is this the first and foremost question in this community?

 

 

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candeny6
Posts: 50
Registered: ‎12-27-2007
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Re: Who's out?

Being "out" means being in Sag Harbor.  Some don't come out because they can't afford it.  Some just don't make it there right away. 

 

Candi
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kren250
Posts: 76
Registered: ‎01-01-2009

Re: Who's out?

It's a big deal to be "out" in Sag Harbor. If you aren't out, something is wrong. Either your family's dynamics have changed (divorce), or circumstances have (can no longer afford it). Or you're college aged and too cool to come out anymore.

 

This was the first question everyone asked because it was  a close-knit community, and who was out would dictate who you would be visiting with and hanging out with.

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candeny6
Posts: 50
Registered: ‎12-27-2007
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Re: Who's out?

How long you were "out" was also important.  If you were only going to be around for a week or a month, others might think you are getting ripped off in life.
Candi
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DSaff
Posts: 2,048
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
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Re: Who's out?

"Being out" means that you are in Sag Harbor ready to enjoy the summer, or at least part of it. The implications of not being out are enormous to the kids. Sag Harbor is their place, their area to catch up and hang out; and, if you can't get "out" there are probably problems in your family. (money problems, divorce, etc.) The kids look at houses that are empty and feel sadness. While they know the stories of some, they don't know others.

 

The next most important thing to discover is how long someone is out for. Are they out for the entire summer, or just a weekend here and there? Everyone wants to be out for the entire summer, and the kids feel for those who only appear for short periods of time.

 

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dhaupt
Posts: 11,827
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
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Re: Who's out?

I thought being out meant being out of the city and to your vacation place in Sag Harbor.

I think it's first and foremost because if you're not out, then either your late getting started on your summer, or your circumstances have changed. 

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emmagrace
Posts: 162
Registered: ‎12-04-2008
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Re: Who's out?

If you are "out", tt means that you have come out to Sag for the summer/couple of weeks. If you do not come out people wonder if you are broke, divorced, etc.. I believe that this is the first question in the community because it is a good conversation starter and they all know one another well. I think discussing who's not out and why sometimes makes for good gossip.

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booksJT
Posts: 108
Registered: ‎11-24-2008
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Re: Who's out?

Out means leaving the city and heading for the country side. It means you know longer can afford to have property in Sag Harbor. In this community only the finacially stable people are able to vacation there. Also this is a family tradition that started with the grandparents who first moved to Sag Harbor.
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nfam
Posts: 231
Registered: ‎01-08-2007

Re: Who's out?

Being out means you're back. You're a member of the community again. You've retrieved your status. You belong. It's critically important to size up the situation, find out who will be part of the community for another summer.

 

Being out means you're part of the group again. For teen-agers this is THE critical distinction -- in the group or out.

 

Nancy

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vivico1
Posts: 3,456
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
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Re: Who's out?

Being out means many things and it can mean something different for the family than for the kids. When the family is out, they are at Sag Harbor and yes, the longer you are out tends to imply the family is doing better financially or as a family. Who is out also gives you the opportunity of discussing the other side of the coin, who is not. And in small towns, communities or even vacation groups, sharing gossip about who you know is not out, is almost a ritual. It's like the safe topic. Gossipping about others is sometimes much more easy than talking about what has happened in your family since the last time you met, so its important to know who is out.

 

Being out for the younger ones, even tho they may think in terms of what it means about the families who are not there, maybe that comes more from hearing the parents because they are not so obsessed with who is not out but with who is out to go hang out with and they, at least in the very first part of the book, are not spending any time wasted talking about why someone is not out. However, when the kids are out of high school, it seems to be a right of passage to NOT come out, to move on. When one, like the one boy (sorry don't have my book on me at the moment) hangs on past that time, the younger ones do tend to think about them and wonder or feel sorry for them. It is like when I was in high school, there was this one guy who kept coming to every party the seniors had that were not the school ones but were out somewhere, away from the school proms or activities. By the time I was a senior, he seemed like an "older adult" who was really out of place with us and we wondered why he was unable to move on and wasn't it more lonely for him to be with us than fun, like it was for us.

 

There are lots of social implications to who is "out" or who is "here" so far.

Vivian
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hookedonbooks09
Posts: 128
Registered: ‎02-04-2009
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Re: Who's out?

I laughed while reading the various degrees of "out".  Very clever association to so many things in all of our everyday lives because...

 

It quickly changes from just a head-count of sorts to an awareness of social status, when it gets to the point of noticing who's not out yet and contemplating the reasons why they may not be.

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Vermontcozy
Posts: 5,276
Registered: ‎10-20-2008
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Re: Who's out?

As I was going to post,I read yours...Just what I was thinking,It has different  meanings of course, concise,   but  am going with yours..Thanks.VTC I posted a link to a cool Sag Harbor map that our "Leader" Rachel,thought was good,have you found it? Its interactive,very simple...resortmaps.com ,click on New York,then The Hamptons..its right there, vtc
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Bonnie824
Posts: 951
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
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Re: Who's out?

It seems to be about who is so rich they can be on vacation all summer long. Probably people with their own inherited businesses I would think.
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CathyB
Posts: 271
Registered: ‎12-30-2006
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Re: Who's out?

 

Being 'out' means that you have arrived in Sag Harbor and left the rat race behind - be it work or school. If you are not 'out' or cannot stay 'out' for an extended period of time then something is wrong. This leads the adults to speculate/gossip as to the reasons. Have financial circumstances changed? Have marital circumstances changed? etc.... In any community where everyone knows everyone, gossip occurs.

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deaver
Posts: 35
Registered: ‎02-04-2009
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Re: Who's out?

It seems to me this a reflection of the 'tight knit' community and the bond that they all share.  Furthermore, it is a springboard to the gossip amongst the members: what they are doing, why they are no longer vacationing at Sag Harbor, what misfortunes are befalling whom, who has arrived in the "big wild world" and has no place for Sag. 

 

 

 

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Thauk
Posts: 4
Registered: ‎02-02-2009
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Re: Who's out?

Being "out" means being in Sag Harbor.  It also depends on how long you are "out" for.  If you are only out for the weekend or a short period of time, it may mean that your situation has changed (finances, divorce, etc.)  It makes an impact on who you will get to hang out with.
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mchwest
Posts: 11
Registered: ‎08-15-2008
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Re: Who's out?

I think at the start of each summer determining who was out was the set up for who could challenge for rank, if you had a car, you were top rank, no matter whether you deserved to be or not, had the most girls, top rank. If you were a family of a house handed down generation after generation, you were always more likely to be there every summer until college age, then you were on your own.
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bookworm_gp
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Re: Who's out?

I thought being out meant "out of school." But I suppose for the parents it's out of the city or away from work.
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dreyslibrary
Posts: 21
Registered: ‎01-28-2009
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Re: Who's out?

"Out" is a whole new concept for me - where I grew up, there was no summer off.

 

"Out" here means out of school for the summer, out of town for summer vacation...  If you're not out, then something must've happened, because who would not want to be out? I guess if you only see certain people while you're out, you tend to wonder where they are if you're already there and they're not...

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kboston
Posts: 28
Registered: ‎04-12-2008
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Re: Who's out?

To be "out" would be making an appearance in Sag Harbor, being there for the summer and away from their real lives and their other personas.  If someone wasn't out, it could mean that times were tough, that family chose not to come/did not care or moved on to better things.  Being out is something to look forward to and if you're not out then something must be wrong.