Who's out?

[jpock]

Being "out" means that your family has arrived in Sag Harbor for the summer.  Not being "out" could be a sign of financial issues or problems in the family, such as divorce.  I think it is an important question in the community because they are anxious to see their friends and also because they are protective of their community and want to see it survive.

[EbonyAngel]

I found it interesting that Benji's Dad asked the same question when talking to his friends.  So, apparently, being "out" goes a long way back.

[Saundra_SFO]

I really reasonate with your description of being out and also relate that to the opposite - what did this mean for them when they weren't "out?"  How did they perceive their existence in the city - living amongst others and having to fit into a different world.  I think there are multiple meanings.

[StellaBee]

I see the question of "who's out" as really about whose circumstances have changed so they can't get out or they can't get out to Sag Harbor as early as they'd like.  The question is a way to measure social status and financial crisis.

[gosox]

Although I was not fortunate to have the opportunity of spending a summer at a beach house, I could identify with the idea of being "out."

I think anyone who spends a week or even a few days on vacation in the same place develops a sense of being "out." You look to see if things have remained the same or you might follow the same routine each year. 

As I read the discussion of being "out" I found myself remembering vacations to the Cape and to the Connecticut shore as a child. Thinking back on how I looked forward to seeing some of the same kids that were there each year and to eating at our favorite restaurants, (especially the doughnuts at Sound View, CT) I could relate to Benji's observations. As we grew older, things changed, yet like Benji's parents, the idea of "out" conjured up memories and routine.

[mattzay]

When the people ask "Who's out?" they not only want to know who has arrived and who hasn't , they want to catch up on all the gossip surrounding everyone. They want to know what is going on with everyone that usually comes to Sag Harbor. Reggie states that sometimes people have hardships that make coming back impossibe.He also talks about how sometimes relationship issues make coming out difficult.

The point is, they are being curious and nosy at the same time when they ask "Who's out?"

[bookowlie]

Being "out" means who has come out to Sag Harbor for the summer.  Everyone wants to catch up and get into the summer routine of who is there and who is not.  Seeing cars in the driveway is a symbol of who's out.  If you're not out, everyone wants to gossip about why - job loss, divorce, etc.  It's assumed that coming out to Sag Harbor is the "main event" so there must be a major change in your life if you don't come out.  There is even an view of lower status if you don't come out for the whole summer and just a weekend or two.

[JulieC82]

I agree with all of the comments on what it means to be "out" in Sag Harbor. Who was there already, who could they hang with. If someone wasn't out, why? What gossip had been heard.

Also, as we know it's not like the parents were necessarily there all summer, they commuted back to the city to go to their jobs. Their jobs were why they could "summer" in Sag Harbor. They were hardworking people who were continuing a family tradition.

[CJINCA]

---

JulieC82 wrote:

I agree with all of the comments on what it means to be "out" in Sag Harbor. Who was there already, who could they hang with. If someone wasn't out, why? What gossip had been heard.

Also, as we know it's not like the parents were necessarily there all summer, they commuted back to the city to go to their jobs. Their jobs were why they could "summer" in Sag Harbor. They were hardworking people who were continuing a family tradition.

---

Seems that in the previous couple of Sag generations, the mother would be "out" for the summer with the kids.

In the time of the novel, though, with two working parents, the kids who are "out" either have Empty House Status or the nearly-invisible grandparent(s).

I wonder what will happen to the tradition of spending the summer in Sag, if Empty House Status isn't an option any more...maybe Ben's is the last generation to really be able to spend a summer "out" in this community.

[blkeyesuzi]

---

CJINCA wrote:

---

JulieC82 wrote:

I agree with all of the comments on what it means to be "out" in Sag Harbor. Who was there already, who could they hang with. If someone wasn't out, why? What gossip had been heard.

Also, as we know it's not like the parents were necessarily there all summer, they commuted back to the city to go to their jobs. Their jobs were why they could "summer" in Sag Harbor. They were hardworking people who were continuing a family tradition.

---

Seems that in the previous couple of Sag generations, the mother would be "out" for the summer with the kids.

In the time of the novel, though, with two working parents, the kids who are "out" either have Empty House Status or the nearly-invisible grandparent(s).

I wonder what will happen to the tradition of spending the summer in Sag, if Empty House Status isn't an option any more...maybe Ben's is the last generation to really be able to spend a summer "out" in this community.

---

That's such a good point! No more "out" at Sag Harbor...

Who knows...Perhaps we'd see an influx of people moving to Sag Harbor year-round as a result.  It seems that more and more might have to choose between their two residences, since current incomes aren't covering the luxury of dual home ownership as they had before.  Certainly if I had a choice, I'd at least RETIRE there.

Sag Harbor might move from "Empty House Status" to "Year Round Full House Status" LOL

[m3girl]

Perhaps looking at it a different way - who is not out and why are they not out?  Sounded like there were several reasons - Benji's older sister had moved on with her gang of friends - off to college and no longer interested in summers at Sag.  Some only came out for the weekends or some of the weekends - they were considered to be unfortunate by the boys - but perhaps there were better things to do in the city or elsewhere on some of those weekends.  It had to get sort of old - driving out every Friday afternoon only to have to drive back on Sunday evening.  And then those that didn't come out for seasons at a time - was it a financial thing?  I thought that was a funny way to look at it from the perspective of a teen age boy - thinking that they didn't come out because of some financial hardship.  That is possible but there are lots of reasons to no go 'out'.

I can see how summer out at Sag is the highlight of the boys lives at this point in time.  They feel at home after the school year where they are minorities in that private school.  The two different environments must create all sorts of challenges for them - fitting into both different places.

I know that being 'out' for the boys meant that they were on summer break and had a sort of freedom that would last until September!  And this year with the parents absent - they had even more freedom!

Susan 

[Vermontcozy]

You bring up some good points,even after all the postings.In a way they lived a somewhat sheltered life,even though they grew up in NY..so much going on around them,and keeping busy all the time,then,Sag.The 80's in Ny were all about making it,financially,no matter who you were.and the classes were very distinct..and lets recall as  Colson pointed out ,his writing is between childhood and adulthood. he was caught bet. both worldsSag, NYC Private Schools,and his writing is so emotionally driven,for me.

[Jennmarie68]

Mattzay,

I do agree with most of your statement. The one thing I disagree with is that finding out who's out equates to being nosy. In today's world people, for the most part, aren't going to share their business with everyone, but 25 years ago I think that telling your neighbors your business was part of the community that you lived in. 

The area I grew up in was like that, everyone knew everyone else's business, not because they were nosy, but because you shared with your neighbors because they were also your friends and the people you confided in. When I was about 8 or 9 a family moved in across the street from us. We knew they had a little boy but that was about it. They were hardly ever home and when they were they kept their doors and windows shut. It was kind of weird back then, but now I hardly ever see most of my neighbors and wouldn't dare fream of telling them what was going on in my life other than the casual, not much. 

So I guess in a way it could be taken as they were nosy but I think that at that time it was more of simply being how things were. You knew everyone's business and they knew yours because they were the people you talked to all the time.

[marciliogq]

A bit late, a bit out of discussions but never absent.

A philosophical way to think of who or when being out. Benji is out of his "supposed" world towards his true world. Sometimes this "out" is necessary as a way, a path to be IN. He prepares himself, his spirit to be involved in the fantastic world of Sag Harbor where he can identifiies people and thoughts very similar to his. So being out is, in my point of view,  an externalization, a kind of exorcism to tell the world: I'm alive! I have feelings and own an atmosphere that believes that I'm more than before "IN".