Since 1997, you’ve been coming to BarnesandNoble.com to discuss everything from Stephen King to writing to Harry Potter. You’ve made our site more than a place to discover your next book: you’ve made it a community. But like all things internet, BN.com is growing and changing. We've said goodbye to our community message boards—but that doesn’t mean we won’t still be a place for adventurous readers to connect and discover.

Now, you can explore the most exciting new titles (and remember the classics) at the Barnes & Noble Book Blog. Check out conversations with authors like Jeff VanderMeer and Gary Shteyngart at the B&N Review, and browse write-ups of the best in literary fiction. Come to our Facebook page to weigh in on what it means to be a book nerd. Browse digital deals on the NOOK blog, tweet about books with us,or self-publish your latest novella with NOOK Press. And for those of you looking for support for your NOOK, the NOOK Support Forums will still be here.

We will continue to provide you with books that make you turn pages well past midnight, discover new worlds, and reunite with old friends. And we hope that you’ll continue to tell us how you’re doing, what you’re reading, and what books mean to you.

Reply
Distinguished Bibliophile
Peppermill
Posts: 6,768
Registered: ‎04-04-2007
0 Kudos

Re: Advice

Why do you suppose the Chicago Tribune considered discontinuing an advice column?  Because they didn't expect to be able to replace Ann Landers (or was it Abby) with someone equally competent?  Because they viewed advice as an outmoded form of communications, at least as a newspaper column?  Because they underestimated the drawing power of a good advice column?  Because ....?

 

What role does advice play in our lives -- whether getting it or giving it?   When and under what conditions is it a good way to communicate?  

 

Personally, I rather like advice, whether receiving it (at least, liking most of the time) or giving it.  But recently I have been exposed to Marshall Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication and his approach to effective, peaceful, relationship-building communications minimizes advice, at least unless pretty specifically requested. 

 


Stephanie wrote:
What makes Amy Dickinson a good advice columnist? Who gives you the best advice?

 

 

"Seize the moments of happiness, love and be loved! That is the only reality in the world, all else is folly. It is the one thing we are interested in here." -- Leo Tolstoy
Distinguished Bibliophile
Peppermill
Posts: 6,768
Registered: ‎04-04-2007
0 Kudos

Re: Advice

I think the wide range of Amy's living experiences must aid her in being an advice columnist, i.e., she has understandings in her "very bones" of what it means to live in a small town, almost farming community, to large metropolitan cities like New York; Washington, DC; and Chicago, as well as living internationally in London.  Even her ex-husband's experiences in Moscow and other places probably have contributed to her cosmopolitanism, i.e., her knowledge of the range of human adaptions to living.  To me, her stories of Freeville are a bit like those of the popular series about All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten.   That is not to say but what there are fully realized lives that are lived entirely within a small geographic range -- I have recently been trying to recall the poet who is famous for refusing to travel far and yet is known for the perceptiveness of his poetry.  (Any suggestions on whom that might be from those of you who may remember poet's bios better than I have -- it was not Emily Dickinson, but rather a man?)  
"Seize the moments of happiness, love and be loved! That is the only reality in the world, all else is folly. It is the one thing we are interested in here." -- Leo Tolstoy
Wordsmith
Tarri
Posts: 457
Registered: ‎02-26-2007
0 Kudos

Re: Advice

I think someone with empathy gives the best advice. 
Author
Amy_Dickinson
Posts: 17
Registered: ‎10-22-2008
0 Kudos

Re: Advice


Peppermill wrote:

Why do you suppose the Chicago Tribune considered discontinuing an advice column?  Because they didn't expect to be able to replace Ann Landers (or was it Abby) with someone equally competent?  Because they viewed advice as an outmoded form of communications, at least as a newspaper column?  Because they underestimated the drawing power of a good advice column?  Because ....?

 

What role does advice play in our lives -- whether getting it or giving it?   When and under what conditions is it a good way to communicate?  

 

Personally, I rather like advice, whether receiving it (at least, liking most of the time) or giving it.  But recently I have been exposed to Marshall Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication and his approach to effective, peaceful, relationship-building communications minimizes advice, at least unless pretty specifically requested. 

 

When the Chicago Tribune first interviewed me, they asked me "does anybody read advice columns any more?" and since I had read about 5 different Q and A columns in five different publications on the plane to Chicago, I was able to assure them that the Q and A format is the most efficient, most sensible way to ask for and receive help. They are also enormously entertaining, as most of us know.

I also told the Tribune that, other than letters to the editor, the advice column was the only place in the newspaper where readers got to have their own voices heard in the newspaper. It's an extremely simple and honest way of communicating, I believe. And the fact that people are willing to air their problems -- for all the community to see -- tells me that they are willing to be generous and share their problems, in order to aid themselves, of course, but also for others' benefit.

 

Amy


Stephanie wrote:
What makes Amy Dickinson a good advice columnist? Who gives you the best advice?

 

 


 


Learn more about The Mighty Queens of Freeville.
Distinguished Bibliophile
Peppermill
Posts: 6,768
Registered: ‎04-04-2007
0 Kudos

Re: Advice


Amy_Dickinson wrote:

Peppermill wrote:

Why do you suppose the Chicago Tribune considered discontinuing an advice column?  Because they didn't expect to be able to replace Ann Landers (or was it Abby) with someone equally competent?  Because they viewed advice as an outmoded form of communications, at least as a newspaper column?  Because they underestimated the drawing power of a good advice column?  Because ....?

 

What role does advice play in our lives -- whether getting it or giving it?   When and under what conditions is it a good way to communicate?  

 

Personally, I rather like advice, whether receiving it (at least, liking most of the time) or giving it.  But recently I have been exposed to Marshall Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication and his approach to effective, peaceful, relationship-building communications minimizes advice, at least unless pretty specifically requested. 


When the Chicago Tribune first interviewed me, they asked me "does anybody read advice columns any more?" and since I had read about 5 different Q and A columns in five different publications on the plane to Chicago, I was able to assure them that the Q and A format is the most efficient, most sensible way to ask for and receive help. They are also enormously entertaining, as most of us know.

 

I also told the Tribune that, other than letters to the editor, the advice column was the only place in the newspaper where readers got to have their own voices heard in the newspaper. It's an extremely simple and honest way of communicating, I believe. And the fact that people are willing to air their problems -- for all the community to see -- tells me that they are willing to be generous and share their problems, in order to aid themselves, of course, but also for others' benefit.

 

Amy


Stephanie wrote:
What makes Amy Dickinson a good advice columnist? Who gives you the best advice?


Amy -- thank you for your comments.  I especially appreciate these words: "And the fact that people are willing to air their problems -- for all the community to see -- tells me that they are willing to be generous and share their problems, in order to aid themselves, of course, but also for others' benefit."

 

But, also:  "...other than letters to the editor, the advice column was the only place in the newspaper where readers got to have their own voices heard in the newspaper. It's an extremely simple and honest way of communicating...."

"Seize the moments of happiness, love and be loved! That is the only reality in the world, all else is folly. It is the one thing we are interested in here." -- Leo Tolstoy
Inspired Contributor
Tasses
Posts: 117
Registered: ‎01-27-2007
0 Kudos

Re: Advice

I think the best traits a person can posess are: being a good listener, caring about people, having a positive attitude and a grounding of one's soul. These are the traits of a happy life, not just the life of an advice coulnist, but these traits compel other people to respect and value a person enough to offer up their soul for examination and renivations.
See all my reviews at: Reading Rumpus and Many A Quaint & Curious Volume
Frequent Contributor
kanellio65
Posts: 26
Registered: ‎02-05-2008
0 Kudos

Re: Advice

I think a good listener can give good advice if they are asked or the need seems to be there. I think Amy gives good advice based on personal experience and common sense. I read advice columns sometimes but really only out of interest to see what people are asking about. I think it is all relatively personal.
Users Online
Currently online: 46 members 967 guests
Please welcome our newest community members: