Advice

[Peppermill]

Why do you suppose the Chicago Tribune considered discontinuing an advice column?  Because they didn't expect to be able to replace Ann Landers (or was it Abby) with someone equally competent?  Because they viewed advice as an outmoded form of communications, at least as a newspaper column?  Because they underestimated the drawing power of a good advice column?  Because ....?

What role does advice play in our lives -- whether getting it or giving it?   When and under what conditions is it a good way to communicate?  

Personally, I rather like advice, whether receiving it (at least, liking most of the time) or giving it.  But recently I have been exposed to Marshall Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication and his approach to effective, peaceful, relationship-building communications minimizes advice, at least unless pretty specifically requested. 

---

Stephanie wrote:
What makes Amy Dickinson a good advice columnist? Who gives you the best advice?

---

[Peppermill]

I think the wide range of Amy's living experiences must aid her in being an advice columnist, i.e., she has understandings in her "very bones" of what it means to live in a small town, almost farming community, to large metropolitan cities like New York; Washington, DC; and Chicago, as well as living internationally in London.  Even her ex-husband's experiences in Moscow and other places probably have contributed to her cosmopolitanism, i.e., her knowledge of the range of human adaptions to living.  To me, her stories of Freeville are a bit like those of the popular series about All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten.   That is not to say but what there are fully realized lives that are lived entirely within a small geographic range -- I have recently been trying to recall the poet who is famous for refusing to travel far and yet is known for the perceptiveness of his poetry.  (Any suggestions on whom that might be from those of you who may remember poet's bios better than I have -- it was not Emily Dickinson, but rather a man?)  

[Tarri]

I think someone with empathy gives the best advice. 

[Amy_Dickinson]

---

Peppermill wrote:

Why do you suppose the Chicago Tribune considered discontinuing an advice column?  Because they didn't expect to be able to replace Ann Landers (or was it Abby) with someone equally competent?  Because they viewed advice as an outmoded form of communications, at least as a newspaper column?  Because they underestimated the drawing power of a good advice column?  Because ....?

What role does advice play in our lives -- whether getting it or giving it?   When and under what conditions is it a good way to communicate?  

Personally, I rather like advice, whether receiving it (at least, liking most of the time) or giving it.  But recently I have been exposed to Marshall Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication and his approach to effective, peaceful, relationship-building communications minimizes advice, at least unless pretty specifically requested. 

When the Chicago Tribune first interviewed me, they asked me "does anybody read advice columns any more?" and since I had read about 5 different Q and A columns in five different publications on the plane to Chicago, I was able to assure them that the Q and A format is the most efficient, most sensible way to ask for and receive help. They are also enormously entertaining, as most of us know.

I also told the Tribune that, other than letters to the editor, the advice column was the only place in the newspaper where readers got to have their own voices heard in the newspaper. It's an extremely simple and honest way of communicating, I believe. And the fact that people are willing to air their problems -- for all the community to see -- tells me that they are willing to be generous and share their problems, in order to aid themselves, of course, but also for others' benefit.

Amy

---

Stephanie wrote:
What makes Amy Dickinson a good advice columnist? Who gives you the best advice?

---

---

[Peppermill]

---

Amy_Dickinson wrote:

---

Peppermill wrote:

Why do you suppose the Chicago Tribune considered discontinuing an advice column?  Because they didn't expect to be able to replace Ann Landers (or was it Abby) with someone equally competent?  Because they viewed advice as an outmoded form of communications, at least as a newspaper column?  Because they underestimated the drawing power of a good advice column?  Because ....?

What role does advice play in our lives -- whether getting it or giving it?   When and under what conditions is it a good way to communicate?  

Personally, I rather like advice, whether receiving it (at least, liking most of the time) or giving it.  But recently I have been exposed to Marshall Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication and his approach to effective, peaceful, relationship-building communications minimizes advice, at least unless pretty specifically requested. 

---

When the Chicago Tribune first interviewed me, they asked me "does anybody read advice columns any more?" and since I had read about 5 different Q and A columns in five different publications on the plane to Chicago, I was able to assure them that the Q and A format is the most efficient, most sensible way to ask for and receive help. They are also enormously entertaining, as most of us know.

I also told the Tribune that, other than letters to the editor, the advice column was the only place in the newspaper where readers got to have their own voices heard in the newspaper. It's an extremely simple and honest way of communicating, I believe. And the fact that people are willing to air their problems -- for all the community to see -- tells me that they are willing to be generous and share their problems, in order to aid themselves, of course, but also for others' benefit.

Amy

---

Stephanie wrote:
What makes Amy Dickinson a good advice columnist? Who gives you the best advice?

---

---

---

Amy -- thank you for your comments.  I especially appreciate these words: "And the fact that people are willing to air their problems -- for all the community to see -- tells me that they are willing to be generous and share their problems, in order to aid themselves, of course, but also for others' benefit."

But, also:  "...other than letters to the editor, the advice column was the only place in the newspaper where readers got to have their own voices heard in the newspaper. It's an extremely simple and honest way of communicating...."

[Tasses]

I think the best traits a person can posess are: being a good listener, caring about people, having a positive attitude and a grounding of one's soul. These are the traits of a happy life, not just the life of an advice coulnist, but these traits compel other people to respect and value a person enough to offer up their soul for examination and renivations.

[kanellio65]

I think a good listener can give good advice if they are asked or the need seems to be there. I think Amy gives good advice based on personal experience and common sense. I read advice columns sometimes but really only out of interest to see what people are asking about. I think it is all relatively personal.