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DSaff
Posts: 2,048
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
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Re: Chapter 1 - Don't Throw Your Ring in the Creek

Another quote that I love from chapter 1 is:

"Forgiveness, it turned out, was a choice that I had to make, not to get him to come back, but in order to let him go." page 25

 

DonnaS =) " Reading is a means of thinking with another person's mind; it forces you to stretch your own." Charles Scribner
"A book is like a garden carried in the pocket." Chinese Proverb
My blog: http://bookworm56.blogspot.com
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Stephanie
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Registered: ‎10-19-2006
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Re: Chapter 1 - Don't Throw Your Ring in the Creek

Great quotes!  This book is filled with them isn't it?  I thought about reading the memoir of an advice columnist and wondered if there would be advice interspersed throughout.  And then upon reading the first chapter, I knew immediately that I would learn from this author.

 

 

Stephanie
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DSaff
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Re: Chapter 1 - Don't Throw Your Ring in the Creek

I have lots of things highlighted in this book.  <grin>

Stephanie wrote:

Great quotes!  This book is filled with them isn't it?  I thought about reading the memoir of an advice columnist and wondered if there would be advice interspersed throughout.  And then upon reading the first chapter, I knew immediately that I would learn from this author.

 

 


 

DonnaS =) " Reading is a means of thinking with another person's mind; it forces you to stretch your own." Charles Scribner
"A book is like a garden carried in the pocket." Chinese Proverb
My blog: http://bookworm56.blogspot.com
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Tarri
Posts: 457
Registered: ‎02-26-2007
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Re: Chapter 1 - Don't Throw Your Ring in the Creek

I am very impressed with Ms. Dickinson's use of words, I can totally understand how she could be a great person to turn to if you needed advice. 
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Deltadawn
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Registered: ‎10-19-2006
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Re: Chapter 1 - Prevailing

I, too agree  - that line stood out to me, as well, as an extremely wise observation... 

 

"She simply prevailed. Prevailing is underrated. People think having the idea that unless they win, they lose. But sometimes surviving is enough."


 

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Wrighty
Posts: 1,762
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
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Re: Chapter 1 - Prevailing


vivico1 wrote:
I found her statement on page 15 very interesting. In talking about her mother and not getting any help at all from her father she writes "She simply prevailed. Prevailing is underrated. People think having the idea that unless they win, they lose. But sometimes surviving is enough." I agree with that, sometimes surviving is actually prevailing against the odds. And not always winning does not mean losing. Life is never so black and white and when we try to make it so, like about winning vs losing, we will usually lose because of the yardstick we use to measure our own success or failure.

 DSaff wrote:

This is one of my favorite lines, Vivian. I even highlighted it in my book. It absolutely showed how one life makes a tremendous impact on another, mother to daughter or anyone else!

 


 
I really liked this part too and it seemed to be the theme for the whole family. Surviving is never a bad thing. It takes a lot of effort to survive. And like Viv said, life is not black and white.

 

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Wrighty
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Re: Chapter 1 - Don't Throw Your Ring in the Creek


DSaff wrote:

Another quote that I love from chapter 1 is:

"Forgiveness, it turned out, was a choice that I had to make, not to get him to come back, but in order to let him go." page 25

 


I hear all of the time how important forgiveness is. How it's not about the other person and it's not about condoning what happened but it's about allowing yourself to move on. If you can't get past whatever the incident is than you become the incident. It takes a strong person to forgive and sometimes I wonder how people manage to do it when something horrendous has happened to them. It is a priority though in order to reclaim your life. 

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Peppermill
Posts: 6,768
Registered: ‎04-04-2007
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Re: Chapter 1 - Don't Throw Your Ring in the Creek

" I hear all of the time how important forgiveness is. How it's not about the other person and it's not about condoning what happened but it's about allowing yourself to move on."

 

So well put, Wrighty.  Forgiveness is also not forgetting, either.  They may or may not go together, but often it is important to NOT forget.  

 

Forgiveness is also often at the heart of peacemaking -- each of us has probably heard or read about someone working in war-torn areas at what is required after civil strife has left horrible wounds and atrocities behind, whether in Ireland, Bosnia, Rwanda, or even in our own inner cities -- what must happen for someone who has had half his family slain or even one friend murdered to live alongside the perpetrators again -- and then multiply those conditions to entire communities or nations.

 


Wrighty wrote:

DSaff wrote:

Another quote that I love from chapter 1 is:

"Forgiveness, it turned out, was a choice that I had to make, not to get him to come back, but in order to let him go." page 25

 


I hear all of the time how important forgiveness is. How it's not about the other person and it's not about condoning what happened but it's about allowing yourself to move on. If you can't get past whatever the incident is than you become the incident. It takes a strong person to forgive and sometimes I wonder how people manage to do it when something horrendous has happened to them. It is a priority though in order to reclaim your life. 


"Seize the moments of happiness, love and be loved! That is the only reality in the world, all else is folly. It is the one thing we are interested in here." -- Leo Tolstoy
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vivico1
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Re: Chapter 1 - Don't Throw Your Ring in the Creek

It's like that old saying goes....staying angry at someone is allowing them to continue living in your head rent free! Its true too, when we stay mad at someone we probably spend a lot of time thinking about them when they may not spend one moment thinking about us. And forgiveness is more for ourselves than even the other person. It is the key that unlocks the door and frees us of so much anger or sadness and allows us to move on and continue to grow and be happy. It may not happen all at once or right off the bat, and those that keep trying to force people to forgive, saying you must, don't understand that it is a process sometimes. But I think it is a commandment because God knows we need the ability to forgive to progress in this life and also to love. I really do think it is more for us than for anyone who hurt us, tho there may be times that we need to know someone has forgiven us too, if we are stuck in guilt and sorrow.

 


Wrighty wrote:

DSaff wrote:

Another quote that I love from chapter 1 is:

"Forgiveness, it turned out, was a choice that I had to make, not to get him to come back, but in order to let him go." page 25

 


I hear all of the time how important forgiveness is. How it's not about the other person and it's not about condoning what happened but it's about allowing yourself to move on. If you can't get past whatever the incident is than you become the incident. It takes a strong person to forgive and sometimes I wonder how people manage to do it when something horrendous has happened to them. It is a priority though in order to reclaim your life.


 

 

Vivian
~Those who do not read are no better off than those who can not.~ Chinese proverb
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Wrighty
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Registered: ‎10-19-2006
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Re: Chapter 1 - Don't Throw Your Ring in the Creek


Peppermill wrote:

" I hear all of the time how important forgiveness is. How it's not about the other person and it's not about condoning what happened but it's about allowing yourself to move on."

 

So well put, Wrighty.  Forgiveness is also not forgetting, either.  They may or may not go together, but often it is important to NOT forget.  

 

Forgiveness is also often at the heart of peacemaking -- each of us has probably heard or read about someone working in war-torn areas at what is required after civil strife has left horrible wounds and atrocities behind, whether in Ireland, Bosnia, Rwanda, or even in our own inner cities -- what must happen for someone who has had half his family slain or even one friend murdered to live alongside the perpetrators again -- and then multiply those conditions to entire communities or nations.

 


I've heard incidences of people who have lost someone because of another person's carelessness or guilt yet they forgive that person and even form a relationship with them. One example is when a family suffers the death of a loved one because of a drunk driver. Eventually they are able to forgive that person who in turn learns to forgive themself and they travel to schools telling their story and sharing the dangers of drinking and driving. Instead of giving in to the pain they've forgiven and used the loss of their family member to save other people's lives including thier own and the guilty driver's.

 

It amazes me that people can overcome such devastation.  It would be easier to wallow in your grief and hate the other person, to be truly selfish with your emotions. It takes work to forgive and to form a relationship. It's better for everyone in the long run but it has to be so hard to make that decision.

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nfam
Posts: 231
Registered: ‎01-08-2007
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Re: Chapter 1 - Don't Throw Your Ring in the Creek

Chapter One showed up Amy on a destructive path with her husband. I thought the divorce was a freeing for her. She wasn't realizing her potential sitting in an apartment in London waiting for something to happen. While it was hard for her at the time to cope with leaving, they handled the situation in a mature fashion. This obviously paid dividends for Emily and for Amy as well. Emily didn't lose her father and Amy wasn't overwhelmed with bitterness.

 

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Stephanie
Posts: 2,613
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
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Re: Chapter 1 - Don't Throw Your Ring in the Creek


nfam wrote:

Chapter One showed up Amy on a destructive path with her husband. I thought the divorce was a freeing for her. She wasn't realizing her potential sitting in an apartment in London waiting for something to happen. While it was hard for her at the time to cope with leaving, they handled the situation in a mature fashion. This obviously paid dividends for Emily and for Amy as well. Emily didn't lose her father and Amy wasn't overwhelmed with bitterness.

 


 

Good points - I think Amy did herself a huge service by "divorcing" herself from the situation  - she didn't try to pick up pieces, she just went forward.  I think too often when we have to remove a detrimental attachment that we've formed we try to salvage parts of it, and sometimes the whole appendage just needs to be severed. 
Stephanie
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Tonya
Posts: 24
Registered: ‎04-13-2007
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Re: Chapter 1 - Don't Throw Your Ring in the Creek

I really enjoyed the first chapter. Amy does an awesome job with words. I have enjoyed reading everyone else's thoughts about how Amy handled the beginnings of her divorce, and moving on with her life for Emily and herself. I look forward to the rest of the book!

 

Tonya

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Stephanie
Posts: 2,613
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
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Re: Chapter 1 - Don't Throw Your Ring in the Creek

Tonya,

 

I agree- Amy's command of the language is awesome.  For instance: "I told him I had lived an entire lifetime while he slept and bathed and carefully groomed himself."  

 

Actually, it was at that moment that I knew he was having an affair.  The careful grooming was a light bulb, and then Amy goes on to say that he actually looked great and had recently lost weight - Bingo!  Dead giveaway.  It's so easy to see it in someone else, isn't it?  When you're right up close and personal, not so much.

 

It really annoys me when men leave their marriage (mentally or physically or both) and then lose weight and start taking great care of themselves... why didn't they do that while the relationship was going strong? 

Stephanie
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danikl
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Registered: ‎10-18-2008
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Re: Chapter 1 - Don't Throw Your Ring in the Creek

The title of this chapter was meaningful to me. On page 23, the story the Mother laughingly told about the absurdity of throwing a pretty ring into the Fall Creek. How many times we throw something worthy into the creek, just to get through the tough times!
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bookloverjb85
Posts: 168
Registered: ‎10-12-2007
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Re: Chapter 1 - Prevailing

I know that everyone else has said this, but I agree with the prevailing statement.  Sometimes all you can do is survive.

Deltadawn wrote:

I, too agree  - that line stood out to me, as well, as an extremely wise observation... 

 

"She simply prevailed. Prevailing is underrated. People think having the idea that unless they win, they lose. But sometimes surviving is enough."


 


 

 


 

--Jen--

"A house without books is like a room without windows."--Horace Mann
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bookloverjb85
Posts: 168
Registered: ‎10-12-2007
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Re: Chapter 1 - Don't Throw Your Ring in the Creek


DSaff wrote:

Another quote that I love from chapter 1 is:

"Forgiveness, it turned out, was a choice that I had to make, not to get him to come back, but in order to let him go." page 25

 


I love that quote too.  It makes you realize that she had to make the choice for herself and her daughter.  That choice is certainly a hard one and difficult to overcome.

--Jen--

"A house without books is like a room without windows."--Horace Mann
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bookowlie
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Registered: ‎04-15-2008
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Re: Chapter 1 - Don't Throw Your Ring in the Creek

I agree with you that the marriage was stifling Amy's potential.  Sitting in that apartment in London alone while her distant husband was constantly coming and going on business trips, it just seemed like a lonely existence for her.  While she felt rejected by her husband when he left, I had this sense that her mood lifted once he was gone.
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