11-06-2008 11:50 PM
Yes, but of itself, being curious is not a bad thing. As you say, they are not necessarily judging. It is natural to be curious and I think that is being "interested", either in what the situation is about someone you may want to know, or just being interested for your own sense of understanding, whether it leads to a friendship or not. We all try to make sense of the world and people around us and often that interest and curiosity can turn to real "caring". Some people are just nosy of course but with all the mixed up family situations and people moving here and there, its natural to be curious about new people. I just don't see asking someone, so what does your husband do? When you don't even know there isn't one in the picture, or mothers who do worry about children and understand many things themselves, going so far as to say, does he/ she see his/her father much? Those do not sound like nosy questions to me but ones of getting to know you and then maybe empathetically asking after the child and how they are handling it.
Now if they are saying stuff like, Ohhhhhh so your divorced huh? Another woman? or Does he even come around the child? Those are nosy questions and you know them when you hear them. But the ones I stated before, are not nosy really and can actually be interested and caring questions. I would rather have people ask than assume. And I have never heard anyone get upset by those kind of, what are now, common questions.
I don't necessarily think people are judging - but I do think we have become a nation of nosy people. No topic is off-limits, and curiosity seekers are supposed to be interpreted as "interested" or "caring" when in fact they're simply curious.
~Those who do not read are no better off than those who can not.~ Chinese proverb
11-11-2008 02:26 PM
It is a fine line that people do sometimes cross over, are you asking questions because you are genuinely interested and can possibly help, or just to satisfy your innate curiosity? Yes curiosity is natural, but it's a natural urge we as adults learn to control - just like burping. You may feel a strong urge, but there are times it's completely inappropriate or downright rude. I'm afraid it's a lost cause though. Politeness is rapidly disappearing in our "bottom-line" society.
Yes, but of itself, being curious is not a bad thing. It is natural to be curious