Later Chapters Discussion: Revelations and Forgiveness

[Stephanie]

At the end of the novel Paul has to come to terms with at least two pieces of desperately heartbreaking knowledge, knowledge that changes not only how he thinks about the future but changes everything he thought he knew about the past. Armed with this new knowledge, do you think it's possible for Paul to forgive the dead their secrets?

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[kiakar]

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Stephanie wrote:
At the end of the novel Paul has to come to terms with at least two pieces of desperately heartbreaking knowledge, knowledge that changes not only how he thinks about the future but changes everything he thought he knew about the past. Armed with this new knowledge, do you think it's possible for Paul to forgive the dead their secrets?

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Note: This discussion topic is particularly suitable for readers who have finished reading The Woods. If you have not finished reading the book, this thread may contain plot spoilers.

Click on "Reply" to post your thoughts about this discussion topic, or click "New Message" on the main page to start a new topic thread.

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Wow! That had to be most difficult for Paul to digest. They say you never really know anyone, in his case, this is certainly true about parents and sisters and uncles. Wow!
but I will have to say, this book had more curves than I ever dreamed of seeing or reading about. What a read!

[LizzieAnn]

I think it will be easier for Paul to forgive his dead parents and his missing sister than Lucy. It's harder to accept that the woman he loved "set him up" in a way - and was one of the catalysts for destroying his life at that time. All along he thought he was protecting this young innocent girl that he loved - for her sake he lied and stayed away from her. He had put her on a pedestal, and she fell with a loud crash. She helped Wayne, and indirectly caused him to be a part of losing his sister. Lucy wasn't the person he thought she was or thought he knew. It was another shock to his sytem.

On another note, Paul mentions that Ira tries to kill him & killed Gil to protect Lucy. But why would Ira think that Lucy committed such a heinous act. Wouldn't he automatically assume that she might have stumbled on to something horrific - and wouldn't have Lucy told him?

[KathyS]

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LizzieAnn wrote:
I think it will be easier for Paul to forgive his dead parents and his missing sister than Lucy. It's harder to accept that the woman he loved "set him up" in a way - and was one of the catalysts for destroying his life at that time. All along he thought he was protecting this young innocent girl that he loved - for her sake he lied and stayed away from her. He had put her on a pedestal, and she fell with a loud crash. She helped Wayne, and indirectly caused him to be a part of losing his sister. Lucy wasn't the person he thought she was or thought he knew. It was another shock to his sytem.

On another note, Paul mentions that Ira tries to kill him & killed Gil to protect Lucy. But why would Ira think that Lucy committed such a heinous act. Wouldn't he automatically assume that she might have stumbled on to something horrific - and wouldn't have Lucy told him?

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Thanks, Liz, for your insights, but take my word for it, it's more difficult, to impossible, to forgive your dead parents, than it is someone who is living and breathing....although, that can be difficult too.

[vivico1]

I don't know that I agree with you Kathy. I have one alive and one dead and reasons to need to forgive both. The one who is dead, I have found forgiveness for over the years and they don't take up anymore of my waking hours either. The one who is alive, I tend to let take too much from me, tho we dont talk. The fact that she is alive and still has time to set things right and wont, still has time to admit things and wont, still does some of the same things even, makes it much more difficult for me to forgive her. The living and breathing can hurt you much more and for a longer time then the dead, when nothing changes and your heart keeps wanting it to while there is time. The dead no longer can hurt you unless you continue to let the memories rule your life. The living,you can think you are fine with at some point and then find yourself right back in the same abusive place again, digging your way out because you chose to trust them one more time when they keep at you. I guess I am saying, you can make a choice with either, but the dead can not then come back and hurt you again and again, whereas the living can no matter how much you want to forgive and move on.
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KathyS wrote:
Thanks, Liz, for your insights, but take my word for it, it's more difficult, to impossible, to forgive your dead parents, than it is someone who is living and breathing....although, that can be difficult too.

[Andeka]

KathyS wrote:

Thanks, Liz, for your insights, but take my word for it, it's more difficult, to impossible, to forgive your dead parents, than it is someone who is living and breathing....although, that can be difficult too.

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Hey Kathy - not sure if you are speaking from experience or if that's just a personal opinion... but if it's experience and you're interested in forgiving, I highly recommend a book called "Forgiveness is a Choice" by Robert Enright. In a nutshell, it helps you let go of the anger and pain, and explains that forgiveness does not mean that you condone the action or event that caused you pain.

I read it because it recommends you find a champion to help you thru this process, and my friend, who's in the early stages of divorce, is wanting to forgive her cheating husband but wants someone to keep her honest (thru the process). So I bought the book and as I was reading it, I kept thinking "this is good stuff!! I need to find someone to forgive..."

[KathyS]

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Andeka wrote:
KathyS wrote:

Thanks, Liz, for your insights, but take my word for it, it's more difficult, to impossible, to forgive your dead parents, than it is someone who is living and breathing....although, that can be difficult too.

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Hey Kathy - not sure if you are speaking from experience or if that's just a personal opinion... but if it's experience and you're interested in forgiving, I highly recommend a book called "Forgiveness is a Choice" by Robert Enright. In a nutshell, it helps you let go of the anger and pain, and explains that forgiveness does not mean that you condone the action or event that caused you pain.

I read it because it recommends you find a champion to help you thru this process, and my friend, who's in the early stages of divorce, is wanting to forgive her cheating husband but wants someone to keep her honest (thru the process). So I bought the book and as I was reading it, I kept thinking "this is good stuff!! I need to find someone to forgive..."

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Ande, thank you for your recommendation. I will look into this book. I did kind of leave that statement of mine up in the air, didn't I? I haven't finished reading the book, for a couple of reasons, one being, I have other commitments right now. I have enjoyed this book and it's story, but to answer this question more fully, without going into too much detail of my life, I just want to say....

Parents are a driving and major force, generally speaking, in your life. I do understand what it means to forgive, but after a parent is gone, there may be issues which you had never dreamt of, that were never discussed while they were alive, and then out of the blue these issues come back to haunt you. I was betrayed by my parents in a situation I had no control over. My parents are dead, and now these issues have become real.

It's looking back on these issues, now, and wishing you had that part of your life to live over again, just to say the things you wished you had said when they were alive. In the case of Paul, as far as I've read, his mother was gone when he was young, and his detail questions to her may be different than ours, but the ultimate question is always, "why?"....and then left unresolved.

Resolution is much easier to come to with living people. You have the choice, now, to either talk to that person, or not to talk them. If talking is done, whether a resolution is found, at least you know you've tried. And you can't blame yoursleves for not trying...Giving it your best shot is all that you can do. There is some satisfation there. With unresolved issues, you unltimately only have yourself left to blame, and the forgiveness comes down to that issue first. The forcast then, is,------ it's over, it's done, you can't change what was - and what was done to you. So I can't blame myself. This is the basics we use to screen the hurt that you feel in all of this.

Paul was a master in putting up these screens, but yes, forgiveness is necessary for yourself, and then forgiveness for those who apparently had no tools to help themselves make the decisions they made in there own lives, let alone the decisions they made in yours. Demons are nasty things to fight, and again, your hope is that we all do our best with what we have.

Kathy S.