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Stephanie
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Beginning Chapters Discussion - Through Chapter 7

What is the reaction of Beau’s daughter, Kelly, to Mel? Do you think Kelly’s feelings are justified? Does Beau handle the tension between Kelly and Mel in the right way?

This thread is appropriate for those who have read through Chapter 7 Please be mindful of spoilers about any material beyond Chapter 7.
Stephanie
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iris17
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Re: Beginning Chapters Discussion - Through Chapter 7

Kelly's reaction to Mel is out of line. Her mother and Beau have been divorced for many years, was remarried and is now dead. Doesn't her Dad deserve his happiness. Beau did not handle this well since he is probably full of "divorced father's guilt".
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KathyS
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Re: Beginning Chapters Discussion - Through Chapter 7

In looking at Kelly's first [recounts] reactions to Mel, I had the feeling she did like her...when her father [Beau] brought Mel into her own home. She was the "friend" of her fathers. But when the "family" is asked to come to [Beau] the "father's" home, it becomes tense. The reasons are a little more complicated than just issues of jealousy towards Mel. I think Beau, as a work driven father [when his children were young] has major guilt over his not being there for them, and sometimes, I believe, this can be felt by children, and they know how to manipulate what they want, even after becoming adults. And what Kelly wants, is to be with her father, to have him, without interference from [Mel] the "other woman" sort of speak.

As far a Beau handling it, he still is confused. He synopses this with [page73] "Why men find women so baffling - daughters included. Or perhaps, daughters especially." In conclusion, his guilt starts to show through. I don't find Beau much of a deep thinker [men] where it comes to relationship....but he also, at this point, has a lot on his plate. Multiple things are juggling in his hands, even his feelings are all over the place. His grandmothers death; his step-fathers feelings; his relationship with Mel...keeping secrets from her....his wants and his desires are mixing with the needs of others, at this point.

Kelly appears unreasonable. But I think it is was also brought up, the fact that she has just had a baby, hormones are all out of whack....at this time....I definitely can remember those! Kelly's need for her father's love still hasn't resolved, and probably will never resolve, unless Beau takes some initiative with his daughter....sits her down, and takes that much needed 'charge' he keeps avoiding. And he does avoid issues.....and dislikes that about himself.

Kathy S.

Stephanie wrote:
What is the reaction of Beau’s daughter, Kelly, to Mel? Do you think Kelly’s feelings are justified? Does Beau handle the tension between Kelly and Mel in the right way?

This thread is appropriate for those who have read through Chapter 7 Please be mindful of spoilers about any material beyond Chapter 7.


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kiakar
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Re: Beginning Chapters Discussion - Through Chapter 7Kelly's reaction to Mel

Yes, I will start out by saying that Beau seems to be the typical male. He shows little emotion as little as he can get by with, that is. Men know, what women need, they just do not wish to give it usually. He does utter some frustration that he wasn't the best father to his children because of his job. And still, he seems like he doesn't want to be bothered by Kelly's latest grievance against Mel staying with her father and she ina motel room. He doesnt wish to demand a conversation with Kelly to sort out their differences. Kelly probably is feeling alittle unloved by him and also just having the baby. But he needed to talk to her but I know its not what men do best at.
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KathyS
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Re: Beginning Chapters Discussion - Through Chapter 7Kelly's reaction to Mel



kiakar wrote:
Yes, I will start out by saying that Beau seems to be the typical male. He shows little emotion as little as he can get by with, that is. Men know, what women need, they just do not wish to give it usually. He does utter some frustration that he wasn't the best father to his children because of his job. And still, he seems like he doesn't want to be bothered by Kelly's latest grievance against Mel staying with her father and she ina motel room. He doesnt wish to demand a conversation with Kelly to sort out their differences. Kelly probably is feeling alittle unloved by him and also just having the baby. But he needed to talk to her but I know its not what men do best at.


Linda,
Men, in regards to talking - it doesn't seem to be "what men do best", is it? I think, especially father/daughter relationships, are a little more difficult than father/son. But that may just be my own personal observation.

Beau seems to like that Mel 'takes charge', did you find this true? If he doesn't have to involve himself, either emotionally, or actively, he's a happy camper. Even though I haven't read much further, I do have the feeling they'll all work their difference out. I hope!

Kathy
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Stephanie
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Re: Beginning Chapters Discussion - Through Chapter 7 Kelly's reaction to Mel

I thought Kelly was way out of line also. She was acting like a spoiled brat! I wished Beau had told her to knock it off, that as an adult, a wife and a mother, she ought to be able to see past the end of her own nose. We'll have to wait and see if Beau gets completely fed up with her. I know I would!
Stephanie
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KathyS
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Re: Beginning Chapters Discussion - Through Chapter 7 Kelly's reaction to Mel

Kelly, Spoiled brat? :smileyvery-happy: Good choice of words...my first thought, yes!....then thought, hey! She was majorly over-reacting, yes....I bit my tongue. But didn't want to be too hard on her, ya know....I don't think she knows how to react to these events, anymore than Beau did....it's a good thing Mel-is-Mellow!
Kathy

Stephanie wrote:
I thought Kelly was way out of line also. She was acting like a spoiled brat! I wished Beau had told her to knock it off, that as an adult, a wife and a mother, she ought to be able to see past the end of her own nose. We'll have to wait and see if Beau gets completely fed up with her. I know I would!


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Stephanie
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Re: Beginning Chapters Discussion - Through Chapter 7 Kelly's reaction to Mel

Not sure how I would have reacted in Mel's shoes. You're certainly right- she was mellow!

Group: Were you surprised at Mel's reaction, or lack thereof? How would you have dealt with Kelly under the same circumstances?
Stephanie
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kiakar
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Re: Beginning Chapters Discussion - Through Chapter 7Kelly's reaction to Mel



KathyS wrote:


kiakar wrote:
Yes, I will start out by saying that Beau seems to be the typical male. He shows little emotion as little as he can get by with, that is. Men know, what women need, they just do not wish to give it usually. He does utter some frustration that he wasn't the best father to his children because of his job. And still, he seems like he doesn't want to be bothered by Kelly's latest grievance against Mel staying with her father and she ina motel room. He doesnt wish to demand a conversation with Kelly to sort out their differences. Kelly probably is feeling alittle unloved by him and also just having the baby. But he needed to talk to her but I know its not what men do best at.


Linda,
Men, in regards to talking - it doesn't seem to be "what men do best", is it? I think, especially father/daughter relationships, are a little more difficult than father/son. But that may just be my own personal observation.

Beau seems to like that Mel 'takes charge', did you find this true? If he doesn't have to involve himself, either emotionally, or actively, he's a happy camper. Even though I haven't read much further, I do have the feeling they'll all work their difference out. I hope!

Kathy




Yes KathyS, I agree with you on both counts.Men love their daughters but when it comes to understanding what makes them tick, I don't think so! And he did push alot of the problem with Kelly over to Mel, but she seemed to like the idea at least she wasn't complaining.
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KathyS
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Re: Beginning Chapters Discussion - Through Chapter 7



iris17 wrote:
Kelly's reaction to Mel is out of line. Her mother and Beau have been divorced for many years, was remarried and is now dead. Doesn't her Dad deserve his happiness. Beau did not handle this well since he is probably full of "divorced father's guilt".


Iris,
Do you think that when a parent has died, or there is divorce, the children will take on a different perspective of the surviving parent? There must be more demand on them to be "both" parents to that child. It can't be easy for any of them, I wouldn't think. How do you feel about this?

Kathy S.
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Stephanie
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Re: Beginning Chapters Discussion - Through Chapter 7

I think there's even more guilt when the other parent has died after a divorce. If there has been a divorce and the "other parent" is still alive, they're probably still being parental, and the comparison isn't "you're a horrible meanie, and my deceased parent was a saint." I think this line of thinking on the part of the child sometimes has the surviving parent jumping through hoops - quite unnecessarily!
Stephanie
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KathyS
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Re: Beginning Chapters Discussion - Through Chapter 7



Stephanie wrote:
I think there's even more guilt when the other parent has died after a divorce. If there has been a divorce and the "other parent" is still alive, they're probably still being parental, and the comparison isn't "you're a horrible meanie, and my deceased parent was a saint." I think this line of thinking on the part of the child sometimes has the surviving parent jumping through hoops - quite unnecessarily!


Good observations, I see your points. And yes, seemingly quite unnecessarily, they *jump through hoops* - but [I'm afraid] horribly unavoidable if the relationships are non-communicative. I think it also has to do with how old the child is, and sex of the child, at the point in time when the parent dies. A lot of variables.
Kathy
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Stephanie
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Re: Beginning Chapters Discussion - Through Chapter 7

Kathy,

In this case, I can see Beau coddling and spoiling Kelly a bit - to make up for her state of motherlessness. He has his own guilt of course, from his feelings of negligence, but at this stage, he knows he's the only parent she has.
Stephanie
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KathyS
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Re: Beginning Chapters Discussion - Through Chapter 7

Stephanie,
My thoughts, exactly. It's a learning period, all the way around. I see them moving on to a better place, though. It's like having the trees come up in your face...up close and personal...seeing nothing but "bark"....and the forest sort of takes a back seat. (sorry, my interpretation is a little skewed. But I think you get the picture? :smileyhappy:
Kathy S.


Stephanie wrote:
Kathy,

In this case, I can see Beau coddling and spoiling Kelly a bit - to make up for her state of motherlessness. He has his own guilt of course, from his feelings of negligence, but at this stage, he knows he's the only parent she has.


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Stephanie
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Re: Beginning Chapters Discussion - Through Chapter 7

Kathy,

Yes, I do see what you mean. Have to be able to see past the end of your own nose sometimes though! I think Beau probably handled Kelly's brattiness best by ignoring it (although I couldn't have done the same!). I feel sorry for her husband though, he's the one taking the brunt of it, isn't he?
Stephanie
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KathyS
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Re: Beginning Chapters Discussion - Through Chapter 7



Stephanie wrote:
Kathy,

Yes, I do see what you mean. Have to be able to see past the end of your own nose sometimes though! I think Beau probably handled Kelly's brattiness best by ignoring it (although I couldn't have done the same!). I feel sorry for her husband though, he's the one taking the brunt of it, isn't he?




Being able to ignore it is a problem. Giving my own personal feelings on this: Most of the time I do ignore situations.....if it's not a big issue, but I just stood up to my daughter this week....and talked back...the dynamics are interesting when the mouth is on the other face. It didn't help the situation, at that moment. She left.

But Ooooh, Kelly's poor husband...I slipped into an uncomfortable state...on that situation. One, I felt he was spineless, and I wanted to help him stand up to the situation and Kelly.....'raise your hand and be accounted for'!!....and not be run over by the B****, and at the same time I felt sorry for him, a sort of contradiction, which went like this: He didn't deserve her obnoxiousness. But, I think a lot of husbands, with this type of a relationship, who want to please their wives (probably mine included), just so they don't have to face the "music" when they get home....do you think? Back to spineless?
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Stephanie
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Re: Beginning Chapters Discussion - Through Chapter 7

I felt Kelly's husband was really baffled by her behavior, trying to keep her happy and deal with the family at the same time. I didn't think he was spineless, just overwhelmed.

My husband certainly knows when to steer clear of me, and had I been acting like that he would have been far, far away!
Stephanie
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KathyS
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Re: Beginning Chapters Discussion - Through Chapter 7



Stephanie wrote:
I felt Kelly's husband was really baffled by her behavior, trying to keep her happy and deal with the family at the same time. I didn't think he was spineless, just overwhelmed.

My husband certainly knows when to steer clear of me, and had I been acting like that he would have been far, far away!


You're right, Stephanie, overwhelmed is probably a better way to view it. I don't live with them, so what do I know, right?

I'm sorry to say I haven't had a chance to read past Chapter 9. I've been busy running far, far away. :smileyhappy:
I'll try to catch up to the book, and finish this weekend.

Kathy
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Stephanie
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Re: Beginning Chapters Discussion - Through Chapter 7

Kathy,

I'm looking forward to your views on the rest of the novel- no pressure though! :smileyhappy:

The stories like this one, that speak to the family dynamic and relationships as well as being excellent crime dramas are the ones I really enjoy. I think you'll love the way this one plays out.
Stephanie
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kiakar
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Re: Beginning Chapters Discussion - Through Chapter 7



Stephanie wrote:
I felt Kelly's husband was really baffled by her behavior, trying to keep her happy and deal with the family at the same time. I didn't think he was spineless, just overwhelmed.

My husband certainly knows when to steer clear of me, and had I been acting like that he would have been far, far away!




I am sure he has heard about women's emotional stages, so he wouldnt be spineless, just wanted to protect his life. I loved it when he would call Beau everytime she got upset with him. Man to man, what were they going to accomplish. ha. It took Mel to figure it out. Always does take a woman.
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