A Poet's Life

[KathyS]

This thread is to be used by anyone wishing to write original poems.  Please write the title of your poem in the message subject line.  If you would like comments on them, please state this with your posting of your poem.  You may also comment on your own poem.  Have fun!

[crzynwrd4lf]

Here's a poem that I always come back to. Every time I read the first few lines I find another poem in them. Heres the most recent one. Feel free to comment.

I Wrote a Letter Yesterday

I wrote a letter yesterday

But I couldn’t find the words to say

Couldn’t write from my mind

So instead I declined

So instead I declined

Knowing I was wasting time

Putting ink to parchment

The words did not relent

The words did not relent

Nor did they descend

Upon the scrap of pristine paper

The words had turned to vapor

The words had turned to vapor

I called upon our maker

“Give me what is mine to hold

My words they are my gold!”

“My words they are my gold!”

I fear they won’t be told

Shut into my crowded mind

The mockery makes me blind

The mockery makes me blind

Anger is all I find

In turmoil I fall

Once and for all

I wrote a letter yesterday

But I couldn’t find the words to say

Kayla M. Goodenough

[KathyS]

Kayla, I really like this poem, but I can't connect it to the title...did you write that letter yesterday, or not?  Not is what I see the words in the poem telling me.  That last stanza is throwing me for some reason.  Are you able to explain it?

crzynwrd4lf wrote:

Here's a poem that I always come back to. Every time I read the first few lines I find another poem in them. Heres the most recent one. Feel free to comment.

I Wrote a Letter Yesterday

I wrote a letter yesterday

But I couldn’t find the words to say

Couldn’t write from my mind

So instead I declined

So instead I declined

Knowing I was wasting time

Putting ink to parchment

The words did not relent

The words did not relent

Nor did they descend

Upon the scrap of pristine paper

The words had turned to vapor

The words had turned to vapor

I called upon our maker

“Give me what is mine to hold

My words they are my gold!”

“My words they are my gold!”

I fear they won’t be told

Shut into my crowded mind

The mockery makes me blind

The mockery makes me blind

Anger is all I find

In turmoil I fall

Once and for all

I wrote a letter yesterday

But I couldn’t find the words to say

Kayla M. Goodenough

[crzynwrd4lf]

Kathy,

I tried writing a letter once and I knew what I wanted to say but couldn't find the write words. The last stanza is about how I gave up trying to find the write words and I was so angry that the letter didn't express what I wanted to say. So I wrote the letter, but it wasn't the write words. The first two lines kept coming to me over and over again so I wrote a poem about it. I have a few versions of the poem but this one was more recent.

Kayla

[KathyS]

Here is a poem I wrote on Ilana Simons' blog last week.  This week, if you click on this link it takes you to her blog, and will explain about writing, and images that come to us as we both read and write.  Click on her link within that blog, it will take you to her past blogs, in reference to her portraits that she's painted.  This poem is in relationship to the portrait Ilana painted of Sapphire, the woman who wrote the book, Push, and ending up to be the movie, Precious.

For anyone who enjoys art, enjoys the subtleties of all these aspects of visual art, both conscious and unconscious thought, you'll find in these blogs of Literature and Life, what I hope will give to you a greater understanding of how we can relate writing to life, itself.  I may seem harsh, at times, in my emotional critiques of these portraits, and my interpretations may seem personal and frustrated, but that's just my relationship with this blogger.

Precious

Here in this day - gone in the morrow

with or without a passion's sorrow

past a lightness - past soft curl

filling  brush - a mighty swirl

sweep of hairs across a face

leaving lines

without a trace

along the edge

crossing sides

another bridge

around again

tighten strokes

strangles ridge

back away

colors

push

color

sways

in

and

out

love

will

stay

stop

now

up

down

again

bold the concrete

crisscross and blend

[largerthanlife]

Ok, here is one of my poems.  I have been working on this for years, with the odd line or two coming to mind every once and a while, even though I had no idea how, or if they would go together.  But I was sitting in the middle of my Oceanography class last semester trying not to be bored out of my mind and it suddenly came to me.  It is still a work in progress (but that probably describe everything i am working on) and some words are bound to change several times before i am happy with them.

What I Have So Far 

Lonely mist of noontide cloaking

Frozen bird-like call,

My prayers reach forever upward

Till snatched by earth born cull.

Tripping, ringing, bellows out,

Stirring neither blade nor planking;

Borrowing on yesteryear's believing

Upon which my whole life was banking.

The sun nothing but an orb,

The moon its' like-born twin,

Beauty leaching, never giving,

Nothing but a debtor's slip to win.

Remembered warmth now mocking,

Braying, sneering, gaping, trapping

Hope from me.  And broken 

Now are all the celestial happenings.

Where is the glorious celebration?

Would it return were I to wear

The desired mask?  Barred forever,

Rescinded then, would I to bear

Thy favored task?  Prodigal returned,

And heavy trapping of given ring--

Would I have called you Father?

Could I have called you King?

If I tried it once, I have

Tried a thousand more,

Pushed and pried, begged and bought,

A salve for this wormed core.

A chapel full of chilling statues

A byword for my home,

Homeless now, do I wander,

Now that I am free to roam?

I did not expect to lose all balance

When I cut the puppet strings.

I had not thought removing boarders

Would have tangled up my wings.

Prison bars all slag and ashes

Were the gildings of my walls;

Fresh air--defiled, stagnant,

Now forms my soul bound thrall.

Would I, Could I, Must I

Make you mine?  

Should I, Could I, Must I

Bind my life?

Now I see the hollow answer,

(Clarion call in mocking gestures)

Beauty broken; honor lost;

Truth forgotten; future tossed;

Head Bowed:

                             Free Now?

[Book_Girl14]

Here is a poem I just wrote. I was out riding my mare the other day and thought of this! Hope you will enjoy!

The wind whips my hair around my shoulders,

And stings my eyes with icy drops of rain.

My horse breaths hard, his nostrils flare

Showing the delicate red inside,

A bright contrast to the gray road.

The three beats of his gallop ring through the night.

I tangle my figures through his long mane,

Golden like the sun rising to greet us.

The sun throws raises of light onto the new spring grass

And sparkles on the small streams fed by the melting snow

From the mountain peaks towering above us.

I take a deep breath in the smells are rich around me.

The smell of horse, indescribable but amazing

The small of pine, spicy and sweet,

The smell of flowers, sweet and beautiful,

The smell of dirt, damp and musty.

I look around me and I see,

My fine horse beneath me golden like a sunrise

My red silk dress, stained by the rain

The flowers blowing in waves like the sea,

But with the colors of a rainbow,

The mountains on the horizon, the way I am headed,

The sky so blue and light so wonderful.

I heel my horse faster and faster till we fly like the colors of spring.      

[KathyS]

Adria,

Such a beautiful haunting refrain!  It says a lot.  Do you have a title?  Or is this the title you've chosen?

I think poems are interesting, in that I wonder how long it takes some people to finish one, or what makes us decide when it is finished?  I look at them as moments in time, because I write mine within minutes, and then leave them.  I'm always changing; the life around me is always changing, but that record is only given when I write a new poem.

Kathy

largerthanlife wrote:

Ok, here is one of my poems.  I have been working on this for years, with the odd line or two coming to mind every once and a while, even though I had no idea how, or if they would go together.  But I was sitting in the middle of my Oceanography class last semester trying not to be bored out of my mind and it suddenly came to me.  It is still a work in progress (but that probably describe everything i am working on) and some words are bound to change several times before i am happy with them.

What I Have So Far 

Lonely mist of noontide cloaking

Frozen bird-like call,

My prayers reach forever upward

Till snatched by earth born cull.

Tripping, ringing, bellows out,

Stirring neither blade nor planking;

Borrowing on yesteryear's believing

Upon which my whole life was banking.

The sun nothing but an orb,

The moon its' like-born twin,

Beauty leaching, never giving,

Nothing but a debtor's slip to win.

Remembered warmth now mocking,

Braying, sneering, gaping, trapping

Hope from me.  And broken 

Now are all the celestial happenings.

Where is the glorious celebration?

Would it return were I to wear

The desired mask?  Barred forever,

Rescinded then, would I to bear

Thy favored task?  Prodigal returned,

And heavy trapping of given ring--

Would I have called you Father?

Could I have called you King?

If I tried it once, I have

Tried a thousand more,

Pushed and pried, begged and bought,

A salve for this wormed core.

A chapel full of chilling statues

A byword for my home,

Homeless now, do I wander,

Now that I am free to roam?

I did not expect to lose all balance

When I cut the puppet strings.

I had not thought removing boarders

Would have tangled up my wings.

Prison bars all slag and ashes

Were the gildings of my walls;

Fresh air--defiled, stagnant,

Now forms my soul bound thrall.

Would I, Could I, Must I

Make you mine?  

Should I, Could I, Must I

Bind my life?

Now I see the hollow answer,

(Clarion call in mocking gestures)

Beauty broken; honor lost;

Truth forgotten; future tossed;

Head Bowed:

                             Free Now?

[_mOonSeeKer_]

THERE WAS A TIME

There was a time

When I’ve given up all hope,

Packed my dreams away,

Thinking it’s no use to cope.

There was a time

When my little world turned bleak,

Losing itself in darkness

That made me so weak.

There was a time

When I felt so alone.

I wanted to scream and shout

To make it known.

I wanted to go away –

Away from it all!

I wanted to stand firmly –

NOT FALL!

I don’t want to live in the dark anymore.

I wanted to be free, be happy,

And live the life

I’ve always dreamed of.

But fear would not let me,

Cowardness took the better of me.

Darkness started to set in;

I was drowned helplessly.

_________

Please tell me what you think. Thank you.

[KathyS]

Hi Book Girl! 

Your poem, The Colors of Spring, is very descriptive.  It feels joyful.  I like this, as it reminds me of an easy story to read.  It gives a total feel for your emotions at that time you ride your horse, and being very in tuned with your horse and nature at that moment. 

[KathyS]

Hi Moonbeam! 

Wow...How are you feeling?  This poem  made me depressed, and helpless.  You switch up past and present tense....can you tell me which it is?  What is this hope?  What are these dreams?  What do you dream of?  Nothing is said in the poem to make me reason, or understand my feelings, even though I do understand them, in an intellectual way.

Thanks for sharing this with us, Arvie.

Kathy

[_mOonSeeKer_]

KathyS wrote:

Hi Moonbeam! 

Wow...How are you feeling?  This poem  made me depressed, and helpless.  You switch up past and present tense....can you tell me which it is?  What is this hope?  What are these dreams?  What do you dream of?  Nothing is said in the poem to make me reason, or understand my feelings, even though I do understand them, in an intellectual way.

Thanks for sharing this with us, Arvie.

Kathy

Um, this poem is one of my first poems. I wrote this last year. Yes, there are some errors and I have been meaning to correct it but I always forgot. sorry.

i'm glad you understand it.

P.S. sorry for replying too late. 

[KathyS]

Arvie, this note is going to be fast, since I have to leave the house right now.  But, before I leave, I want you to know that you don't have to apologize for your writing.  I was feeling your poem, letting it wash over me, and trying to understand it in the process, not trying to critique it.  I hope you, or anyone here, knows that's how I read. I feel writing, I don't always understand this process.  So, I'm fumbling through it!  Just keep up the good work!

I've had computer problems, and I haven't been on the board very often, to reply, either.  I hope everyone joins in, in reading and replying to these poems of ours.

I'll be back later, 

Kathy

[_mOonSeeKer_]

oh really? i thought, i wrote something bad.. sorry. i misunderstood you. 

I like the way you read. that means you really understand our poems.

Um..Kathy..may I ask you a favor? I um..i don't know if i should ask you this, but I really really want your honest opinion on this one.

I wrote a story for a contest. We are asked to write our thoughts before we die, or a fictional character's thoughts. I wrote the night I learned about the contest. And then posted it the next day. (So it might be late to ask for your opinion now but still...)

I posted it in Writing Room. I would have posted it here, but then it's only for poems so yeah..

Will you please..um.. read it and tell me what you think? 

And oh, it's limited to 500 words only. The one I posted in Writing Room are the original draft so it's a little more than 500 words. 

It's ok though, if you say no. I'd understand.

[KathyS]

Hi Arvie!  I have a little more time this morning to write to you.  I posted to you, about your story, in the writing room, instead of here.  I thought it more appropriate, since the story was there.

I can look at poems, or stories, in two ways.  One is totally about feelings, and the other is more analytical and critical, in how it's written, put together.  Which sometimes is very subjective, only known to the writer, when it comes to poems. Only you know what is in your heart.  But, I do love to hear back from the writer, to let me know how close I can get, in my own feelings to theirs.  Feed-back in this way, as I also write poems, is what I like to hear from readers.  I hope everyone who reads mine, doesn't hesitate to tell me their thoughts.

I can pretty much pull anything apart, from looking deeply into a piece of writing, to looking at the grammar involved.  I try to refrain from the grammar end, as it may come off sounding too critical.  I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings on these subjects, as I'm not a grammar expert, either!   I'll leave that to Ellen's blog... Ha! 

When people ask what we think, I never know exactly what they are asking of me.  I try my best, but it's always best to talk face to face with people when in these circumstances, but not possible here on these boards.  In critical reading, I always look at the tense first.  If it goes from past to present, and back again, it does make it confusing for the reader to know what state of mind the character is in...now, or in the past.  If you see what I mean?

I won't correct spelling errors, or punctuation, unless the punctuation becomes confusing.  But like I said, I can't do all of that in this forum.  So, it just comes back to my feelings, in the end, which I think is more important as a reader, and a writer, to view on these boards.

I gave my honest feelings to your story, Arvie.  Probably more than you wanted..... I hope you let me know how it all turns out?  Good luck!

Kathy

[_mOonSeeKer_]

THank you so much! Kathy! I really appreciate it! 

And i'm very happy to announce that I'm one of the priliminary finalists! i am so happy!

but I also feel awful cause a friend of mine who told me about it, didn't get in. she's the one who told me and encouraged me about it and all...but hers didn't get in.. i feel so sorry. and now she started calling herself as a worthless writer which made me feel worst.. i'm beginning to think that perhaps, entering the contest is not such a good idea after all..

but i can't help feeling happy when I found out the good news though..

thank you kathy! i love you! i really do!

[KathyS]

_mOonSeeKer_ wrote:

THank you so much! Kathy! I really appreciate it! 

And i'm very happy to announce that I'm one of the preliminary finalists! i am so happy!

but I also feel awful cause a friend of mine who told me about it, didn't get in. she's the one who told me and encouraged me about it and all...but hers didn't get in.. i feel so sorry. and now she started calling herself as a worthless writer which made me feel worst.. i'm beginning to think that perhaps, entering the contest is not such a good idea after all..

but i can't help feeling happy when I found out the good news though..

thank you kathy! i love you! i really do!

Congratulations, Moonbeam!  I can see you shining brightly!    I am so happy for you!

One thing that anyone who writes should know, there will always be duds in what you write!  Rejections!  I don't want to call them failures, because nothing and no one is a failure, if you keep trying, and keeping a good perspective of wanting to learn from these 'duds'. 

All you can do is tell your friend you are sorry she is feeling that way about herself. She's looking for encouragement from you, by calling herself worthless.  Assure her she is not.  But there is really not much else you can do.  You feel bad for her.  I know you're sad.  Don't be hard on yourself, though.  She has to take the next step to learn from these experiences.  You should feel good about what you've accomplished.  Tell her not to give up.  Let her know you're still behind her. And thank her for being there for you.

Objectively speaking:   If you give up, and get down on yourself every time you don't accomplish what you set out to do, you will stay in that place of negativity..... just figure out what needs to change. And do it.   And also, if you focus on only how good you think you are, you will never see what any change can do for you, to better yourself....and you will not go forward. 

Learn from the good, as well as the bad things that come across you in your life, and maturity will come along with it.  You will become a stronger person.  When maturity comes, your friend will be happy for your success, and then she'll know she's not worthless.   And remember, no one is perfect!  We all have bad days, bad writing, bad hair.....and those horrid feelings that accompany them!  I'm no exception!

Hang in there, and keep going forward! 

Kathy

[_mOonSeeKer_]

thanks! i'll do what you told me!

you're a great listener, Kathy. i really really like you!

[KathyS]

Thank you, Arvie, you're sweet for for saying that.  I like you too! 

_mOonSeeKer_ wrote:

thanks! i'll do what you told me!

you're a great listener, Kathy. i really really like you!

[KathyS]

Before

In a moments time

One

Two

Three

Maybe four

The day will come

Morning

Noon

Evening

Maybe tonight

Our windows decline

Open

Shutting

Closed

Maybe sometime

Thrown and broken

Brittle

Cracked

Shattered

Maybe always

A drumming

A humming

A reverberating

A beat

One

Two

Three

Maybe four

Or maybe

never again

as ever before

 Kathy S.