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Stephanie
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Re: midbook discussion: Leigh's relationship to son and daughter, no end of book revelations please

Excellent points, all. I think Kara's accident does indeed have the potential to be the catalyst that saves Leigh and Kara's relationship and turns it into an understanding bond between two grown women- Kara does seem ready to move past the "childish" relationship parents have with their children. By the time I was a senior in high school I was the only one (of seven children) left living at home, and that gave my mother and I the opportunity to become more than just mother and child. We were both able to share difficult aspects of our lives, and it was wonderful to get to know my mother as a person, rather than just my mother. My relationship with my mother improved even more when I moved out!
Stephanie
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erinmarks
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Re: midbook discussion: Leigh's relationship to son and daughter, no end of book revelations please

While I see the stress between mother and daughter, and recognize that it is dense as all get out, I wonder if there might be a more positive undercurrent to it. I get the impression that Leigh thinks deeply into things, perhaps sometimes too far and with too shaded a lens. While Kara seems standoffish with her mother, I wonder if Kara recognizes it with the same level of severity as her mother. I would see it as if Leigh were to ask Kara outright if she felt any anomosity between them that Kara would thell her mother no, and mean it to a strong degree. I also think that Leigh has instilled more than she thinks into Kara. There are a few time where Kara imites her mother: She does take on the burden of guilt as her mother almost thinks she should, they both seem to have the same response to seeing her respective mother in pain, both replying, "That's sad." and then almost seeming unsure of the next step. I think Leigh just expects too much that Kara should just be running and flying into her arms, especially during this crisis.
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kiakar
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Re: midbook discussion: Leigh's relationship to son and daughter, no end of book revelations please



erinmarks wrote:
While I see the stress between mother and daughter, and recognize that it is dense as all get out, I wonder if there might be a more positive undercurrent to it. I get the impression that Leigh thinks deeply into things, perhaps sometimes too far and with too shaded a lens. While Kara seems standoffish with her mother, I wonder if Kara recognizes it with the same level of severity as her mother. I would see it as if Leigh were to ask Kara outright if she felt any anomosity between them that Kara would thell her mother no, and mean it to a strong degree. I also think that Leigh has instilled more than she thinks into Kara. There are a few time where Kara imites her mother: She does take on the burden of guilt as her mother almost thinks she should, they both seem to have the same response to seeing her respective mother in pain, both replying, "That's sad." and then almost seeming unsure of the next step. I think Leigh just expects too much that Kara should just be running and flying into her arms, especially during this crisis.




You are right, Erin. Sometimes no matter how close a mother-daughter relationship is, you can not talk to your mother. There are feelings that are just too hard to express to anyone. I believe a daughter is afraid of disapproval by her mother. She doesn't want to even suspect that her mother is disapointed in her. Kara knows that Leigh is a strong rightous person, maybe sometimes a child believes it too much.Thinking a parent can do no wrong and the child does not want to see the hurt in their mother's eyes when they make a mistake especially one they couldn't avoid. They couldn't avoid the mistake but feel the parents wouldn't have made that mistake or the parents would think they wouldn't make the mistake.
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Bonnie824
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Re: midbook discussion: Leigh's relationship to son and daughter, no end of book revelations please

Leigh responds to her son in a more loving way because he gives her something back for her caring IMO. Kara does not seem to like her, and often seems angry at her for things she did herself. Mothers mostly do love all their children, but like some more than others. Maybe just because they are more likable. Or a better personality match.
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kiakar
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Re: midbook discussion: Leigh's relationship to son and daughter, no end of book revelations please



Bonnie824 wrote:
Leigh responds to her son in a more loving way because he gives her something back for her caring IMO. Kara does not seem to like her, and often seems angry at her for things she did herself. Mothers mostly do love all their children, but like some more than others. Maybe just because they are more likable. Or a better personality match.




Yes Bonnie, you are so right by using the word like. We love all our children and most likely very equal but a easy child is easy to like or one that has alot of good characterics. We might tend to like the best.
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Stephanie
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Re: midbook discussion: Leigh's relationship to son and daughter, no end of book revelations please

[ Edited ]
This is true. There are many times when I find it easier to be with one child or the other, depending upon my mood, and theirs. Their ages have a lot to do with it as well. My oldest went through a very rough patch from 14-16, but by the time she was 17, she was (mainly) back to her old self. Now that she's 24, all grown up, married and a mom, she's really come into her own. So has her brother- who, at 22, is shooting through the military ranks, really making a name for himself. I never worried that he might not be successful, but I might have worried a bit about what he might find success doing! :smileyvery-happy:

Message Edited by Stephanie on 10-26-2007 11:58 PM
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cindersue
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Re: midbook discussion: Leigh's relationship to son and daughter, no end of book revelations please

Wrighty ... You are so right about favoring children. No matter what we say, we do. Of course more times than one, it seems we favor the good child, but that is just because that child is easier. We do not want difficult chores. Who does! So alot of times, we will admit, hey, I would rather deal with the good child and relish being with the good child. But we have to balance that time with the difficult too. We will be the ones to pay in the end if we do not give equal time to the problemed child. Its like when I was a medication nurse, I loved the quiet sweet easy going patient over the abusive, rude one that wanted to refuse their meds just when I am on a time schedule. But I know I have to deal with both, and sometimes I would be so stressed, I would pick the good one first but that leaves the worst for last and less energy to deal. So we have to learn to cope with the easy and difficult child. Life is not meant to be an easy street. So we face it and go on. Usually then it turns out ok.

Well said, Debbie! Most parents are "blessed" with a difficult child. :smileywink:
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