In my family, we’re currently going through round two of the new-sibling syndrome. From my daughter’s point of view, it was bad enough when the mewling, helpless little bundle came home, requiring much of her parents’ attention. But now the little bundle has become an 8-month-old wiggling baby—constantly crawling after her toys and making cute babbling noises that compete with her chatter for our attention. The result: more sulking, acting out, and regressive behavior. Sigh.
As I often do in vexing situations, I turned to the bookshelf for help. I pulled out I’m a Big Sister by Joanna Cole, a book we’d read often when her baby brother first arrived. (It also comes in a Big Brother version.) I figured it was time for a refresher course. The illustrations are bright and clear, and I really like the tone of the book, which is positive, reassuring, and informative too. The book begins with a little girl saying, “Someone new is at our house. Do you know who it is?” She goes on to introduce “our baby” and explain what the baby can and can’t do. She tells us how she helps with the baby and we learn why babies cry. The book ends with the little girl talking about why it’s fun to be big (“I can walk. I can talk…I can eat pizza and apples and ice cream!”). She knows her parents love her and that she’s special to them. Simply told and just the kind of message young sibs need to quiet their fears of being replaced and forgotten.
When my daughter is a little older and able to get the humor of the story (age 3 or so and up), I’m looking forward to introducing her to Julius, The Baby of the World by Kevin Henkes. Henkes’ illustrations and text are a riot—wickedly funny for both kids and parents to read out loud. Lily, a spirited little mouse, is looking forward to having a baby brother—until he actually arrives. (I first met Lilly in Lilly’s Purple Plastic Purse—another great book.) Then she decides she hates Julius and sets out to make life difficult for him, including pinching his tail, insulting him, and teaching him the ABCs and 123s in the wrong order when no one is looking. Kids hopefully won’t do all the things that naughty Lilly does, but they’ll identify with her resentment and jealousy, the darker emotions of adjusting to a new sibling. Also, the ending is reassuring and positive, with Lilly coming to the defense of her little brother when a cousin dares to insult him.
I know that some parents have trouble with Lilly’s actions, worried that she’s modeling the wrong behavior and being too bratty. But if we ruled out all children’s books where the main characters behave badly and act out their darker emotions, where would that leave us? Isn’t that one of the many reasons we turn to books? To find our fantasies and deepest feelings coming alive on the page, and know that we are not alone?
