I loved your books.

[egoo]

I have learned so much about my culture. Why my parents and family of the older generation did what they did after a loved one died. When I was very young, no one explained to me what and why they did certain things during certain times of the year for a loved one that had passed away.

When my father died a few years ago, my mother made me and my brothers do certain things. (Example, We had to put "Hell money" in the coffin. We wore white. And had to give white envelopes filled with candy and money, to those family and friends that attended the funeral.)

Both my parents had been matched to be married by their parents. I am fortunate to have my mother alive to asked her about her marriage (which she never talked about) and her mother's mother that had her feet bound. (She is 90 years old and still has a good memory.

Thank you Lisa, for explaining it to me. Now I have more insight about my culture.

[vivico1]

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egoo wrote:
I have learned so much about my culture. Why my parents and family of the older generation did what they did after a loved one died. When I was very young, no one explained to me what and why they did certain things during certain times of the year for a loved one that had passed away.

When my father died a few years ago, my mother made me and my brothers do certain things. (Example, We had to put "Hell money" in the coffin. We wore white. And had to give white envelopes filled with candy and money, to those family and friends that attended the funeral.)

Both my parents had been matched to be married by their parents. I am fortunate to have my mother alive to asked her about her marriage (which she never talked about) and her mother's mother that had her feet bound. (She is 90 years old and still has a good memory.

Thank you Lisa, for explaining it to me. Now I have more insight about my culture.

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Wow, this book must have very special meaning to you then. Has your mother or grandmother read this? Or would they? They might have lots to tell you just from reading this as a catalyst for some of those things you want to know about.

[LisaSee]

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egoo wrote:
I have learned so much about my culture. Why my parents and family of the older generation did what they did after a loved one died. When I was very young, no one explained to me what and why they did certain things during certain times of the year for a loved one that had passed away.

When my father died a few years ago, my mother made me and my brothers do certain things. (Example, We had to put "Hell money" in the coffin. We wore white. And had to give white envelopes filled with candy and money, to those family and friends that attended the funeral.)

Both my parents had been matched to be married by their parents. I am fortunate to have my mother alive to asked her about her marriage (which she never talked about) and her mother's mother that had her feet bound. (She is 90 years old and still has a good memory.

Thank you Lisa, for explaining it to me. Now I have more insight about my culture.

---

I'm so happy that you shared these memories from your own family story. I have many similar stories in my family about funerals.

So often people ask me, "When did the Chinese stop believing in and doing all this stuff?" I answer, "They never stopped." In this book club we've been talking a lot about traditions, culture, and religion. Sometimes we do things out of tradition, as you so beautifully pointed out, but we don't even know why.

[egoo]

My mother does not read or write English. I did tell my mother about the book. It was nice to be able to discuss the traditions with my mother. I have recommended this book to several of my cousins. We are all 1st generation American born Chinese. Our parents came from the same village in China. (before WWII). The village is outside of Canton China. (Fa Yuen). Most of us has been back there. The trip itself was an eye opener. We are all in our 50 to late 50. We get together at least once a year.

Thank you for your reply.

[vivico1]

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egoo wrote:
My mother does not read or write English. I did tell my mother about the book. It was nice to be able to discuss the traditions with my mother. I have recommended this book to several of my cousins. We are all 1st generation American born Chinese. Our parents came from the same village in China. (before WWII). The village is outside of Canton China. (Fa Yuen). Most of us has been back there. The trip itself was an eye opener. We are all in our 50 to late 50. We get together at least once a year.

Thank you for your reply.

---

I suddenly thought of that movie, The Joy Luck Club lol . I need to get that movie again, I loved that movie and the stories of those women.

[LisaSee]

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egoo wrote:
My mother does not read or write English. I did tell my mother about the book. It was nice to be able to discuss the traditions with my mother. I have recommended this book to several of my cousins. We are all 1st generation American born Chinese. Our parents came from the same village in China. (before WWII). The village is outside of Canton China. (Fa Yuen). Most of us has been back there. The trip itself was an eye opener. We are all in our 50 to late 50. We get together at least once a year.

Thank you for your reply.

---

My family is also from outside Canton (Guangzhou). The home village is called Dimtao. It's between Guangzhou and Foshan.

[Wrighty]

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egoo wrote:
I have learned so much about my culture. Why my parents and family of the older generation did what they did after a loved one died. When I was very young, no one explained to me what and why they did certain things during certain times of the year for a loved one that had passed away.

When my father died a few years ago, my mother made me and my brothers do certain things. (Example, We had to put "Hell money" in the coffin. We wore white. And had to give white envelopes filled with candy and money, to those family and friends that attended the funeral.)

Both my parents had been matched to be married by their parents. I am fortunate to have my mother alive to asked her about her marriage (which she never talked about) and her mother's mother that had her feet bound. (She is 90 years old and still has a good memory.

Thank you Lisa, for explaining it to me. Now I have more insight about my culture.

---

egoo, how did you happen to find Lisa's book? I don't remember if you mentioned it already. Was it just a coincidence that you saw it in the club? There is so much information about your culture, what a great find for you! I'm sure everyone would love to have that about their own cultures and traditions. Like you said this explains so much about traditions you already practice. It must bring you and your mother hours of conversation time. Does she enjoy sharing stories or is she modest? My grandfather was the best storyteller. I wish we had videotaped more because his versions were priceless. I'm so sorry for the loss of your father but it's wonderful that you have been able to discuss all of this with your mother.