Waiting for Dedalus

Haines, sitting on a low chair by the table, is trying to take the lid off a tea kettle. He pulls at it with both hands, panting. He gives up, exhausted, rests tries again.
As before.
Enter Mulligan bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a smaller mirror lay crossed.

Mulligan: (lifting the bowl aloft) Introibo ad...
Haines: What?
Mulligan: I forgot.
Haines: Okay. Would you like some tea?
Mulligan: We can't.
Haines: Why not?
Mulligan: We're waiting for Dedalus. (lathers his face) Come down, Kinch. Come down, you fearful jesuit.
Haines: Who's Kinch?
Mulligan: Dedalus. (pause) I think.
Haines: You think?
Mulligan: How else would I know to call him a jesuit.
Haines: So, Dedalus is a jesuit?
Mulligan: (confidently) Yes. (looks into the larger mirror as he scrapes the lather off his face with the smaller mirror)
Haines: Why the Greek name?
Mulligan: I may be mistaken. Let's stop talking for a minute, do you mind. (pauses for a few seconds) Haines, open that door, will you?
Haines: I had a dream.
Mulligan: Don't tell me!
Haines: I dreamt of Huey P. Newton and Bobby Sea--
Mulligan: DON'T TE-- who?
Haines: I don't know.
Enter Mrs Cahill and Lucky. Mrs Cahill drives Lucky with a rope passed around his neck, so Lucky is the first to enter. Lucky carries many jugs of milk

Mulligan: In nomine Patris et Filii et Patris...
Mrs Cahill at the sight of Mulligan and Haines stops short. The rope tautens. Mrs Cahill jerks at it violently.

Mrs Cahill: Back!
Noise of Lucky falling breaking all the milk bottles.

Mulligan: I wanted Sandycove milk for my tea.
Haines: We can drink it black.
Mulligan: Damn you and your Paris fads, I want Sandycove milk.
Haines tries to pour some tea, but the kettle is empty

Haines: Nothing to be done.
Mulligan: Well? Shall we eat breakfast without Dedalus?
Haines: Yes, let's.
They don't eat

by Blogger L_Monty on ‎02-24-2009 07:00 PM
Was waiting for the kicker and waiting, and waiting, LOL'd at "They don't eat." Nice.