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Just before dawn one winter's morning, a hijacked jetliner explodes above the English Channel. Through the falling debris, two self-proclaimed New York City shopaholics – Ally and Erica – fall from the sky and miraculously wash up on the snow-covered sands of an English beach clutching their credit cards. Through a series of surreal metamorphoses, dreams and revelations, they find enlightenment in a small shop selling designer handbags.

Message Edited by PaulH on 02-24-2009 08:24 AM

Eragon, Baby, Gone

The neighborhood is no place for the innocent, the young, the defenseless or the pure. This is a territory of broken families, bitter cops, whacked out ex-cons, and a mother who watches herself on the nightly news as her missing child floats further and further into the unkown. When Eragon finds a polished blue stone in the forest, he thinks it is the lucky discovery of a poor farm boy; perhaps it will buy his family meat for the winter.  Boston private investigators, Patrick Kenzie and Angela Gennaro, don't want this case. But when the stone brings a dragon hatchling, Eragon realizes he has stumbled upon a legacy nearly as old as the Empire itself. But after pleas from the child's aunt, they embark upon an investigation and ultimately risk losing everything- their relationship, their sanity, and even their lives-to find this little-girl-lost. Overnight his simple life is shattered, and he is thrust into a perilous new world of destiny, magic, and power.  With only an ancient sword and the advice of an old storyteller for guidance, Eragon and the fledgling dragon must navigate the dangerous terrain and dark enemies of an Empire ruled by a king whose evil knows no bounds.

 

Capturing the voices that echo within blue collar Boston, Dennis Christopher Lehane-Paolini is a master storyteller, who weaves together embittered people, tattered emotions, and brutal crime to create relentless, heart-pounding novels of suspense. Can Eragon take up the mantle of the legendary Dragon Riders? Gritty and evocative, the novels of Dennis Christopher Lehane-Paolini are ones you will never forget.

The Turn of the Shrew

Kate refuses to marry Petruchio, the suitor her father has chosen for her. Wanting to escape the tauntings of her sister Bianca, she runs away to the city and hires herself out as governess to the wards of an intriguing bachelor who keeps the children at his country estate and does not want to be bothered by them. What happens next is anybody's guess.
Message Edited by PaulH on 02-24-2009 08:15 AM

In a great, green room

there was a vampire

And a red balloon

And a picture of --

 

A werewolf howling at the moon.

 

Goodnight Room

Goodnight New Moon.

Once upon a time and a very good time it was there was a moocow coming down along the road and this moocow that was coming down along the road met the rented Toyota, driven with such impatient exuberance by The Senator, speeding along the unpaved unnamed road, taking the turns in giddy skidding slides, and then the car had gone off the road and had overturned in black rushing water, listing to its passenger's side, rapidly sinking.
     Am I going to die?—like this?
     O, the wild rose blossoms
     On the little green place.

His father told him that story; his father looked at him through a glass; he had a hairy face. His face was hairy to hide his identity, because a nicens little boy saw him drag the body down the road where Betty Byrne lived; she sold lemon platt. He buried the body there.
Message Edited by PaulH on 02-24-2009 08:34 AM

Saigon, sh*t. I’m still only in Saigon. Every time I think I’m going to wake up back in that vulture-eyed old man’s room. When I was home, it was worse. I’d wake up and there’d be nothing but the sound of a heart beating…

 

When I was here I wanted to be there. When I was there, all I could think of was getting back into the old man’s room.

 

I’ve been here a week now. Waiting for that heart beat, getting louder. Every minute I stay in this room it gets louder.

 

And every minute Charlie squats in the bush he gets stronger. Each time I look around the walls move in a little tighter.

 

Everyone gets everything he wants. I wanted a heart beat, and for my sins they gave me one. Brought it up to me like room service.

The Pho of the House & Usher

CLICK HERE AND TURN IT UP FOR THE FULL AUDIO EXPERIENCE

Girl, let me tell you...

 

Ingredients, yeah:
• Beef oxtails, nothing but the tail, real off-brand cut of beef, for broth
• A serious sweet cut of beef, slice it fine, put it in soup, get it wet
• 2 onions, white or yellow (be colorblind), one for broth, one to get wet
• Yeah, 1 hunk of fresh ginger (for broth), and for slicing to get wet
• Spice, girl – dried cinnamon (yeah, for the sweetness), coriander seed, (I don't know what that is), fennel seed (don't know either), whole cloves (not the kind you smoke), star anise (you know I'm the star, but you're the star in your kitchen), with cheesecloth to make spice packet — girl, you got a spice packet on you

• Pho noodles, hell yeah
• Green onion, brings in the funk
• Cilantro
• Thai (or red) basil
• Bean sprouts
• Jalapeno peppers, I know you know that's hot

 
When you get it on:
Rinse oxtails and cheap beef cut, and add them to a large stockpot filled at least halfway with water. Bring this to a boil, girl, it's time to get this hot, you understand? But then you gotta simmer down, you gotta simmer down for two hours. That's right. Gotta make it last. Also, skim off foam as necessary.
 
After two hours, add a whole, peeled onion. Just peel it. I don't want to see those tears on you, baby. Also, a large chunk of peeled ginger. Bring it up hot, then bring it back down for another hour. We could do this all night.
 
Prepare your spice packet. This is what's gonna tingle on your tongue. This is what's going to make you never forget the sweetness. Mix these together in a cheesecloth bag, and heat them up in a small frying pan for a few minutes, until the spices become aromatic. It's like soup perfume. Yeaaah. Then throw them in your stockpot, yeah.
 
Let that perfume soak into that broth like it's taking a bubble bath. Half hour? Hour? It doesn't matter. It's all about what you want right now. But then you gotta take those spices out, you've got to let the whole thing cool down. Take the broth, with meat, bones, onion and ginger still in, cover it, and put the whole thing in the fridge overnight. That's right. A gentleman waits.
 
Next day, put a nice cut of beef in the freezer for an hour or so to make it easier to cut into thin slices. Until it's cold like my heart until I first saw you, girl. Soak your pho noodles in cold water for at least an hour, until they're feeling like they're drowning, like I was until I first met you, girl. Warm up broth. Remove the onion, ginger and beef bones/meat from the broth — nothing between us anymore — and bring it to a boil. Season broth with salt as needed. Mmmm, salty. Damn.
 
Slice peppers, white onion, green onion, ginger, rinse the bean sprouts, cilantro and thai basil. Cut them just like my heart is cut every time you close those lashes and then turn away. Slice beef as thin as you can get it. Cut it as fine as you are.
 
After the noodles have soaked an hour, your broth is boiling, everything is on fire inside you, burning, waiting for the taste, and your accessories are ready, set a separate pan of just water to boil, for your noodles. Remove the noodles from their soak, and boil them for less than a minute! Damn. Divide the noodles into bowls, place the slices of beef on top of the noodles lay them down just like they're caressing it, and pour your pho broth over it all, pour it all over.. Yeah, add accessories as preferred.

I'm ready for you, girl. The soup is ready, girl. You'll never believe the way it's gonna make you feel. Nothing's ever going to feel this good. Believe me, girl.

Then again, everybody lies.

Categories: alter egos, title to title

Gone with the Wind in the Willows

Ashley Mole and Rat Butler sit on the verandah of Toad Hall enjoying a mint julep. . . .
Message Edited by PaulH on 02-24-2009 08:25 AM
Classic chldren's book about the dangers of food poisoning. (The rare first edition was scratch and sniff...)
Message Edited by PaulH on 02-24-2009 08:22 AM
Categories: title to title

Green Eggs and Hamlet

Alas poor Yorik

I doth not liken Green Eggs and Ham

I doth not liken it, Hear me man!

I doth not liken it, pray thee tell

I doth not liken it, though I knew it well

Message Edited by jcbookmaster on 05-28-2009 04:07 PM
Categories: title to title

Bleak House of Sand and Fog and Seven Gables


Often considered Charles Dubus Hawthorne III’s masterpiece, Bleak House of Sand and Fog and Seven Gables blends together several literary genres—detective fiction, romance, melodrama, and satire — to create an unforgettable portrait of the decay and corruption at the heart of the legal system of our society.

This novel revolves around a court case in Salem that has dragged on for decades — the infamous Kathy Nicolo and Colonel Behrani lawsuit, in which both parties claim the rights to an old house that has been in a venerable New England family for many generations. This lawsuit is gradually devoured by legal costs.

 

We meet a cast of idiosyncratic characters who live in this decaying, gabled mansion, still haunted by their dead ancestors… including the beautiful Lady Dedlock who hides a terrible secret; hilarious Mrs. Jellyby who’s so generous at the cost of her own family; Hepzibah, an elderly gentlewoman fallen on hard times, her silly brother Clifford, and young Phoebe who cheerfully cares for these two doddering relations.

 

Can the love of these characters’ transform a bleak house of sand and fog and seven gables? And will justice prevail?
Categories: title to title

 

            Impoverished bookseller/biographer Margaret Lea is shipwrecked on Lake Windermere, en route to visit reclusive author Viola Winter, and washes up on the shores of Illyria, the Duke Orsino’s Yorkshire estate.  The Duke, his brain and vision addled by absinthe, is convinced Margaret is his long-lost son, Cesario.  Viola Winter, addled by senility, is equally convinced Margaret is her estranged daughter, Olivia.

            With visions of inheritances dancing in her head, Margaret attempts to play both parts for both potential benefactors. The pot is sweetened even more when the Daily Mail offers her a tidy sum for revealing the secrets of her rich and famous would-be parents, but the payoff is dependent on her meeting a deadline that is just twelve days – and thirteen nights –away.

Message Edited by PaulH on 02-24-2009 08:30 AM
SOME DETAILS OF THE BIOGRAPHY OF THAT HIGHLY RESPECTED MADAME MIRANDA PRIESTLY

IN UNDERTAKING to describe the recent and strange incidents in our industry, well known but rarely understood, I find' myself forced in absence of literary skill to begin my story rather far back, that is to say, with certain biographical details concerning that talented and highly-esteemed Madame, Mirand Priestly (nee Miriam Princhek).. I trust that these details may at least serve as an introduction, while my projected story itself will come later.

I will say at once that Mirand Priestly had always filled a particular role at Runway, that of editor and chief exorciator, so to say, and she was passionately fond of playing the part—so much so that I really believe she could not have existed without it. Not that I would put her on a level with an actor at a theatre, God forbid, for I really have a respect for her. This may all have been the effect of habit, or rather, more exactly of a dreadful propensity she had from her earliest years for indulging in a frightful but satisfying daydream in which she figured as an aristocratic and commanding public character. She fondly loved, for instance, her position as a "powerful" figure and, so to speak, a "sophisticate.” There is a sort of fabulous glamour about those two little words that fascinated her once for all and, exalting her gradually in her own opinion, raised her in the course of years to a lofty pedestal very gratifying to vanity.
Categories: title to title
When Nell Trent discovers that a plant in her grandfather's Curiosity Shop is trying to eat him out of house and home, little Nell convinces her grandfather to abandon their home. Together, they journey across the English countryside, experiencing many adventures. Nell becomes a teen sensation when she is hired by Mrs. Jarley to perform in a traveling musical. She enjoys her newfound popularity until she discovers that the man-eating plant from the Curiosity Shop has followed her grandfather and her, seeking a part in the musical. To Nell's horror, she learn that the plant is bribing her grandfather with the intent of eating Mrs. Jarley. Thus, Nell dispenses with her comfortable lifestyle and once again flees with her grandfather.
Categories: title to title

Riddler on the Roof

Set in pre-"No Man's Land" Gotham, the novel (and subsequent stage play) is based upon the stories of Robert Kane.

Edward Nygma is a costumed villain coping with a host of problems;

 

  • A world unware of his mental prowess
  • The day-to-day problems of super villainy
  • His cantakerous henchmen
  • City sanctioned violence in the form of the Batman

 

On the Road by Jack Kerouac and Cormac McCarthy

Can I ask you something, Dean? Sal said.

 

Yes.

 

Are we Beat?

 

Sometimes. Not now.

 

And we're still going west.

 

Dig it.

 

So we'll be hip.

 

Dig.

 

Dig what?

 

Nothing. Just dig.

 

Okay.

 

I'm going to blow out this reefer stick. Is that okay?

 

Yes. That's okay.

 

Message Edited by PaulH on 02-26-2009 09:04 AM

One Hundred Yankee Years of Solitude

Many years later, as he faced the media, Joe Torre was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover baseball. At that time the Bronx was a village of twenty adobe houses, built on the bank of the Hudson river of clear water that ran along a bed of polished stones, which were white and enormous, like prehistoric eggs.
Message Edited by PaulH on 02-23-2009 09:48 AM

The Telltale Tart: Martha Stewart investigates when a dead body is found by Poe's grave, and the coroner finds that the victim choked to death -- on a cherry tart!

 

The Girl with the Tatooine Dragon: The story of the girl Luke Skywalker left behind, and the dragon who saved her.

 

Pride and Prepositions: Lynne Truss is back!

 

Pudd'nhead Wilson's War:  Pudd'n head Wilson heads back to court, as Tom Sawyer takes on Huck Finn in the battle for America's Top Mark Twain Character.

Message Edited by PaulH on 02-24-2009 08:36 AM
Categories: title to title
Four teenage girls bond over a pair of Blue Jeans and when they are in possession of the magical article of clothing --really hunky guys from all different time periods fill the pants.  Dating, and engagement, and a possible beheading occur.
Categories: title to title

At the Mountains of Madison County

William Dyers, a professor of geology from Miskatonic University, warns of the grave danger of further scientific expiditions into the vast and mysterious Midwest, citing the traumatic and distrubing events of his own previous expedition.  Originally intending to study the alien of bridges that have been built over the rivers in this desolate, uninhabited place, Dyers' team soon discovers the region is indeed inhabited and makes contact with a strange living organism called Francesca.   He attempts to bring Francesca back with him as a sample but she chooses to stay with her family.   Upon being re-united with his camp he discovers some of the others on the expedition have been murdered and others dissappeared.   Together with one of the survivors he gets in an airplane to look for them and, upon surveying the landscape from above, realizes that this desolate land is in fact a vast civilization known as "Iowa".
Categories: title to title

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