AndyfromVA wrote:
Nallia wrote:
How would you feel if you truly try to help people, because you care and enjoy doing it, only to be told your efforts aren't good enough and that you should be doing more?Interesting that the complainers always seem to be those with a dozen or two posts or even less. And they love to target those who have contributed the most to this forum.
Let me preface this by saying that I am not defending anyone who unjustly attacks, complains, etc in a post. That said, it makes sense that those attitudes come from ones with fewer post counts. First, those who only want to complain will usually stop posting and find a more receptive environment for that attitude. Second, those who feel that complaining here might in fact "fix" the problem, quickly discover it doesn't and again, go elsewhere. And finally, a new postee might not realize they are in fact, the 102nd person to ask the same question and be taken by surprise by the number of times they are told so. Should they "search" for their answer first, most definitely. Do they feel a bit taken back when told so, usually. The posters that have the personality to "last" in a forum world usually will apologize for not searching first or just grumble to their computer screen about snarky comments and move on without responding. Combative personalities are USUALLY flash fire people which spout some garbage and then disappear.
That said, it is unavoidable that long time and helpful posters are held to a higher level of accountability. They are expected to be "nice and cordial" all of the time. IMO, it does no harm for others to be reminded that they are not to be taken for granted and that they are not 'drones" that sit in front of their computers, their only purpose to serve the rest of us. Sort of like a mom has to remind her family periodically that she is NOT the housekeeper, chauffer, bookkeeper, and secretary. She is a member of the family and should be allowed to have opinions, preferences, and a bad day occasionally.
_deb_ wrote:That said, it is unavoidable that long time and helpful posters are held to a higher level of accountability. They are expected to be "nice and cordial" all of the time.
As a long-time poster I can only apologize in advance for not meeting the "nice and cordial all of the time" expectation... I'll give help when needed but "nice and cordial" will only be given when it is reciprocated and deserved... 
Thing is, there's a fine line between provoking a discussion and just provoking, especially when done as an experiement with people you don't know. And I see most things on the internet where "family" is proclaimed as somewhere between dysfunctional and cult-like, except when so proclaimed by those who have given of their time and care.
There are moments in any conversation of true convergence of ideas, but most often any conversation is one of disparate ideas. If one begins a dialog with the understanding that most will have their own opinions and may not agree and enter the conversation as if visiting a neighbor and not plopping down on the couch with a bag of chips and beer at mom's house after handing her the laundry to do, then more things might be accomplished more constructively. I think that sometimes people enter here with an idea that they can behave any which way and "mom" will still love 'em, but many times they take off their shoes, and their feet don't smell so good, and the neighbor says it's his house and time to behave or leave. Of course the beer has set in by then and they don't take the suggestion too well.
