Since 1997, you’ve been coming to BarnesandNoble.com to discuss everything from Stephen King to writing to Harry Potter. You’ve made our site more than a place to discover your next book: you’ve made it a community. But like all things internet, BN.com is growing and changing. We've said goodbye to our community message boards—but that doesn’t mean we won’t still be a place for adventurous readers to connect and discover.

Now, you can explore the most exciting new titles (and remember the classics) at the Barnes & Noble Book Blog. Check out conversations with authors like Jeff VanderMeer and Gary Shteyngart at the B&N Review, and browse write-ups of the best in literary fiction. Come to our Facebook page to weigh in on what it means to be a book nerd. Browse digital deals on the NOOK blog, tweet about books with us,or self-publish your latest novella with NOOK Press. And for those of you looking for support for your NOOK, the NOOK Support Forums will still be here.

We will continue to provide you with books that make you turn pages well past midnight, discover new worlds, and reunite with old friends. And we hope that you’ll continue to tell us how you’re doing, what you’re reading, and what books mean to you.

Reply
Inspired Wordsmith
Stephanie
Posts: 2,613
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
0 Kudos

Alex and Lacy

Have we ever met two more incongruous friends? 
 
Discuss Alex and Lacy's friendship here- what needs do you think they get filled from each other?
 
Stephanie
Scribe
vivico1
Posts: 3,456
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
0 Kudos

Re: Alex and Lacy (before the incident)


Stephanie wrote:
Have we ever met two more incongruous friends?
Discuss Alex and Lacy's friendship here- what needs do you think they get filled from each other?



This book is set up in chapters of before and after the shooting, and that makes it a bit hard to really discuss individuals or circumstances without having read the whole book. Thats been part of my hesitancy in posting. So I address this to their friendship, before the incident, the early years and will here confine it to the first 100 pages, since that seems to be our first marker.

Maybe Alex and Lacy are incongruous friends but in a way, are those often the best kind? The ones where your friend is so different than you in many ways, that you can each fill that spot that the other needs. The Yin Yan of friendship as it were. Alex certainly needed Lacy in this first part to help her even decide what to do about the baby. Alex seems all about work and the business world without even knowing much about how to hold a baby,and Lacy knows all about babies and seems to be a natural with them. I can see how in the world, they could really help each other grow, should be interesting to see how this plays out with them as they both become parents.
Vivian
~Those who do not read are no better off than those who can not.~ Chinese proverb
Inspired Correspondent
Wrighty
Posts: 1,762
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
0 Kudos

Re: Alex and Lacy (before the incident)

I'll keep my comments to the first 100 pages too. I haven't finished the book yet anyways. Alex and Lacy became friends very quickly. I don't get the impression that either one of them have that many friends even though they have successful careers. That may have been their biggest priority at that time. They have a common interest when they are both pregnant and Lacy is helping Alex as her midwife. They seemed to have a strong bond when they first became mothers. As their children got a little older they didn't seem to have as much need for each other. Some friendships are like that though. They serve a purpose - like a work companion, a friend who shares a class or a club, etc. When that is finished, when you change jobs or the class is over the friendship may be too. What is so sad is the way their friendship ended and how it affected their children. The kids had become very close and they felt guilty for getting into trouble. It's too bad because they really needed each other, all of them. Peter had many, many issues but maybe stronger ties to other people would have helped. He may have at least been able to cope better and have made better decisions.
Wordsmith
kiakar
Posts: 3,435
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
0 Kudos

Re: Alex and Lacy (before the incident)



Wrighty wrote:
I'll keep my comments to the first 100 pages too. I haven't finished the book yet anyways. Alex and Lacy became friends very quickly. I don't get the impression that either one of them have that many friends even though they have successful careers. That may have been their biggest priority at that time. They have a common interest when they are both pregnant and Lacy is helping Alex as her midwife. They seemed to have a strong bond when they first became mothers. As their children got a little older they didn't seem to have as much need for each other. Some friendships are like that though. They serve a purpose - like a work companion, a friend who shares a class or a club, etc. When that is finished, when you change jobs or the class is over the friendship may be too. What is so sad is the way their friendship ended and how it affected their children. The kids had become very close and they felt guilty for getting into trouble. It's too bad because they really needed each other, all of them. Peter had many, many issues but maybe stronger ties to other people would have helped. He may have at least been able to cope better and have made better decisions.


You know the big issue when Peter and Josie got in trouble was over playing with guns.  You know I have a problem with guns also.You can't always control children no matter how good of a parent you are. You cant be with them 24/7 even when you are at home with them. I do not think guns should be present in a home with children but if it is guns around, there should be a locked closet, not a glass cabinet. Children shouldnt even consider playing with them. If they see them, they will always be curious about them. The key should always be a secret. And of all things, do not have a gun loaded in thehouse.  That to me, is a complete nono.
So I can see Alex's point, not Laci's but they still did not know the damage they did to Peter and Josie by not continuing their friendship. Maybe by continuing, they both would have made better choices later on.
Inspired Correspondent
Wrighty
Posts: 1,762
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
0 Kudos

children and guns



kiakar wrote:

You know the big issue when Peter and Josie got in trouble was over playing with guns.  You know I have a problem with guns also.You can't always control children no matter how good of a parent you are. You cant be with them 24/7 even when you are at home with them. I do not think guns should be present in a home with children but if it is guns around, there should be a locked closet, not a glass cabinet. Children shouldnt even consider playing with them. If they see them, they will always be curious about them. The key should always be a secret. And of all things, do not have a gun loaded in thehouse.  That to me, is a complete nono.
So I can see Alex's point, not Laci's but they still did not know the damage they did to Peter and Josie by not continuing their friendship. Maybe by continuing, they both would have made better choices later on.


I have two personal incidents of children playing with guns and didn't know about either one at the time. My brother is 35 and he told us only a few years ago that he found a gun under my parents' bed when he was very young. My mother almost had a heart attack when she found out. My father owned several guns legally and had them locked in a gun cabinet. After his small store was robbed during the night he started carrying a pistol in a holster whenever he opened and closed the store. What we didn't realize was that he kept that gun under the bed since he never felt safe again after that incident. What was even more scary was that when my little brother found the gun it was loaded. I don't even want to imagine what could have happened and I thank God it didn't.
 
The other situation was when one of my sons was in first grade and playing at a classmate's house for the first time. He came home and when I asked what they did he listed off a bunch of things. At the end of the list he said the boy showed him a gun. I almost had a heart attack that time. I immediately called the boy's mom and told her about it. She was also very shocked and had no idea what had happened. They only had one gun in the house and it was an antique that her father-in-law had given to her husband. It didn't function and wasn't loaded and they had stashed it in their closet and forgot about it. What they didn't know was that their young son knew it was there. They didn't know he even knew it existed. They took it away and we both had long talks with our kids about the danger involved and what to do in the future.
 
We were so lucky both times but gun accidents happen all of the time around here. This is a very rural area and many people have guns. Hunting season is a big deal and an important meat supply for many families (I hate it). Teenagers can also legally participate after they have hunter safety courses. Often it's the older careless hunters that have the accidents and they occur every single fall.
Wordsmith
kiakar
Posts: 3,435
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
0 Kudos

Re: children and guns

Yes, Wrighty, we have the same tradegies from hunting here in Va. also. We are just miles from the blue ridge parkway and mountains overtop of mountains. So hunting Bear and deer is the thing also. I hate the season, I hate deer meat and I hate having guns in the house.
 
When my kids were little, my husband had three guns. I took them, loaded them in my car and took them to a aunts house where no children were present and when they had Christmas and parties for everyone there, I removed them until it was over.  I still had nightmares for years over transporting those guns.
Scribe
vivico1
Posts: 3,456
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
0 Kudos

Re: children and guns


kiakar wrote:
Yes, Wrighty, we have the same tradegies from hunting here in Va. also. We are just miles from the blue ridge parkway and mountains overtop of mountains. So hunting Bear and deer is the thing also. I hate the season, I hate deer meat and I hate having guns in the house.
When my kids were little, my husband had three guns. I took them, loaded them in my car and took them to a aunts house where no children were present and when they had Christmas and parties for everyone there, I removed them until it was over. I still had nightmares for years over transporting those guns.



Hear is something I heard on tv once about gun safety and children. They said, all children should be taught about guns, whether you have one in your home or not. You know,talk to them about how no gun is safe, even if its "not loaded", to never touch a gun, to tell an adult if you find a gun, etc. But they also said that what most parents don't think about is that they may have taught their child all the things they can about gun safety, but parents never think to ask the parents of the kids theirs hang out with, do you have a gun in the house? And this is an important question and you should know it and then decide for yourself about if its ok to play there, or if the parents with the gun have taken proper precautions, to talk to them in a calm manner about what both your children should know about guns and maybe both parents talk to both the kids at the same time about the fact they know there is a gun there and neither child is to touch it. They talked about how many families say, we taught our kids to never pick up a gun and we dont have one, but he was at a child's house where they did! Something to think about.

This was the incident that pretty much ended the friendship of Alex and Lacy. Do you think it had to? Could they have worked it out? Did they have to break up the kids friendship for good over it too? And I wonder how deep was their friendship, if Alex could just walk away and that was that. After all, they had been raising their kids together for some years at this point. I think it was a frightening thing, but I think its one that could have been solved without losing any friendships, adult or children's. I mean even if it was Alex, saying ok thats it tho for playtime here Lacy. You guys are used to them in your home, I am not comfortable with them at all, so if the kids want to play, it has to be at my house, or just in the yards or when we are all together. Then they could have kept their friendship too. This is the second time also that the adults in Peter's life have taken PEOPLE away from him because of something he did or didnt do. Did you notice that? What kind of affect could that have on him too, do something wrong, lose people, lose friends. hmmm
Vivian
~Those who do not read are no better off than those who can not.~ Chinese proverb
Wordsmith
kiakar
Posts: 3,435
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
0 Kudos

Re: children and guns



vivico1 wrote:

kiakar wrote:
Yes, Wrighty, we have the same tradegies from hunting here in Va. also. We are just miles from the blue ridge parkway and mountains overtop of mountains. So hunting Bear and deer is the thing also. I hate the season, I hate deer meat and I hate having guns in the house.
When my kids were little, my husband had three guns. I took them, loaded them in my car and took them to a aunts house where no children were present and when they had Christmas and parties for everyone there, I removed them until it was over. I still had nightmares for years over transporting those guns.



Hear is something I heard on tv once about gun safety and children. They said, all children should be taught about guns, whether you have one in your home or not. You know,talk to them about how no gun is safe, even if its "not loaded", to never touch a gun, to tell an adult if you find a gun, etc. But they also said that what most parents don't think about is that they may have taught their child all the things they can about gun safety, but parents never think to ask the parents of the kids theirs hang out with, do you have a gun in the house? And this is an important question and you should know it and then decide for yourself about if its ok to play there, or if the parents with the gun have taken proper precautions, to talk to them in a calm manner about what both your children should know about guns and maybe both parents talk to both the kids at the same time about the fact they know there is a gun there and neither child is to touch it. They talked about how many families say, we taught our kids to never pick up a gun and we dont have one, but he was at a child's house where they did! Something to think about.

This was the incident that pretty much ended the friendship of Alex and Lacy. Do you think it had to? Could they have worked it out? Did they have to break up the kids friendship for good over it too? And I wonder how deep was their friendship, if Alex could just walk away and that was that. After all, they had been raising their kids together for some years at this point. I think it was a frightening thing, but I think its one that could have been solved without losing any friendships, adult or children's. I mean even if it was Alex, saying ok thats it tho for playtime here Lacy. You guys are used to them in your home, I am not comfortable with them at all, so if the kids want to play, it has to be at my house, or just in the yards or when we are all together. Then they could have kept their friendship too. This is the second time also that the adults in Peter's life have taken PEOPLE away from him because of something he did or didnt do. Did you notice that? What kind of affect could that have on him too, do something wrong, lose people, lose friends. hmmm

I really hated that they broke their friendship up over it. Both women were very strong-willed and couldn't except the others opinion, which is really sad in a way. The children needed each other because they were both so alone.Even if they were against something, they should have not been so engrossed in their own life and think of their kids.And the women had few friends also. They could have used a friend in both lines of work.
Inspired Correspondent
Wrighty
Posts: 1,762
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
0 Kudos

Re: children and guns



kiakar wrote:


vivico1 wrote:

This was the incident that pretty much ended the friendship of Alex and Lacy. Do you think it had to? Could they have worked it out? Did they have to break up the kids friendship for good over it too? And I wonder how deep was their friendship, if Alex could just walk away and that was that. After all, they had been raising their kids together for some years at this point. I think it was a frightening thing, but I think its one that could have been solved without losing any friendships, adult or children's. I mean even if it was Alex, saying ok thats it tho for playtime here Lacy. You guys are used to them in your home, I am not comfortable with them at all, so if the kids want to play, it has to be at my house, or just in the yards or when we are all together. Then they could have kept their friendship too. This is the second time also that the adults in Peter's life have taken PEOPLE away from him because of something he did or didnt do. Did you notice that? What kind of affect could that have on him too, do something wrong, lose people, lose friends. hmmm

 
I really hated that they broke their friendship up over it. Both women were very strong-willed and couldn't except the others opinion, which is really sad in a way. The children needed each other because they were both so alone.Even if they were against something, they should have not been so engrossed in their own life and think of their kids.And the women had few friends also. They could have used a friend in both lines of work.

 
I agree about the kids' friendship. Even if the mother's didn't want to be together anymore the kids were best friends. They were each others only friends. It was a scary incident but it wasn't on purpose. The kids were traumatized enough but then they were pulled apart. There were many better ways to handle that part.

Contributor
onecunninggirl
Posts: 18
Registered: ‎03-25-2008
0 Kudos

Re: children and guns

Relationships are so shaky.  Sometimes the reason for the "breakup" is just an excuse for something that might have been come a long time.  I am the woman with a thousand examples..but when my oldest was about 2 I met a woman with a 1 month old and we instantly became each other's BFFs.  I talked to this woman about things I would never have talked with someone else about.  She was the person I called for everything, and we did everything together.  About 2 months before we "broke up", she kind of started to change, and maybe I did as well.  I still loved being around her but conversation became strained, and we just didn't have as much in common.  So about 2 months later, I said something that I never should have said about her daughter, but I really think it was my way of severing that relationship.  I needed it to end but didn't know how.  Maybe in a way this was a way to get Alex and Lacy's friendship to end.  Alex had just been confronted with Josie beating up a boy to protect Peter, and maybe she felt uncomfortable with her daughter having to protect Lacy's son.  Maybe somewhere deep inside Alex was needing to insure that Josie wouldn't always be associated with Peter since she knew that he would probably always be an outcast since he couldn't stand up for himself. 
 
*****************************Spoiler Alert*********************************************
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
I was so pleased when Alex went to Lacy during the trial after Lacy's testimony.  I really think that shows the lasting bonds of friendship.  I also think it opened a door after the trial and Josie's confession for both of the women to have someone to lean on.  There was only one other person in that town that could feel the way that each of them did, and I like to believe that although not expressly written that Alex and Lacy once again were able to bond over their children.
 
Karla 
Inspired Correspondent
Wrighty
Posts: 1,762
Registered: ‎10-19-2006
0 Kudos

Re: children and guns



onecunninggirl wrote:
Relationships are so shaky.  Sometimes the reason for the "breakup" is just an excuse for something that might have been come a long time. 
 
*****************************Spoiler Alert*********************************************
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
I was so pleased when Alex went to Lacy during the trial after Lacy's testimony.  I really think that shows the lasting bonds of friendship.  I also think it opened a door after the trial and Josie's confession for both of the women to have someone to lean on.  There was only one other person in that town that could feel the way that each of them did, and I like to believe that although not expressly written that Alex and Lacy once again were able to bond over their children.
 
Karla 


There's a saying about friendships and how they are for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Karla, the friendship you had with that other woman probably fulfilled a reason for you. Both of you had small children and had a lot in common at that time. Maybe you just outgrew each other or didn't need each other as much anymore.
 
Alex and Lacy have the potential to have a friendship for a lifetime. They were friends in the early years and had a strong foundation. After the shootings they had more in common and really needed each other. They could be an important support system to each other that no one else would understand as well as they would.
Users Online
Currently online: 4 members 267 guests
Please welcome our newest community members: