Dear Mr. Scorsese,

First, let me say that I’m a big fan of your work and anybody who makes a gangster picture now has to be measured against the Martin Scorsese standard. Now, if you’ll allow me to be so bold, I think I’ve found your next project.

You’re welcome. Cowboys by Gary Phillips and Brian Hurtt is a brand new graphic novel you’ll want to acquire the rights to immediately. It concerns two cops on a collision course, undercover on the same case, but unaware of each other’s identity. I know, I know, you’ll say you already covered similar territory in The Departed, but I’ll counter that the sense of scale on this one is pretty grand, covering crime and criminal conspiracies from the street up through the entertainment industry, money laundering and even global terrorism. Watching them chew through the case’s hard candy shell toward each other in the chewy center is gonna be epic in your hands… Oooh, oooh, and you could totally find a way work Gimme Shelter into it. I promise.

All I ask in return is a reasonable finder’s fee.

Sincerely,

Jedidiah Ayres

Dear Mr. De Palma,

                  Have I got a juicy project for you! Cowboys by Gary Phillips and Brian Hurtt is the kind of crime saga that recalls some of your best films, and there’s a complex sequence  involving multiple major characters and the convergence of dual story lines ending in a spectacular gunfight inside a crowded restaurant. Man, when I think of those trade-mark tracking shots of yours , the way you can boil down vast amounts of exposition into elegant visuals while building suspense to coronary levels, I think you’d have another classic Brian De Palma scene to be analyzed and digested by film students for years to come right alongside the museum scene in Dressed to Kill or the train station in Untouchables or ooh, one of my favorite yet-to-be lauded into irrelevance De Palma-esque film passages, the discotheque encounter near the end of Carlito's Way.

                  All I ask in return is a reasonable finder’s fee. And a producer’s credit.

Seriously,

Jedidiah Ayres

Dear Mr. Lee,

                  Thanks for not making any superhero films. I know, I know it seems like all people want to fund are Young Adult book adaptations and comic book films. Well, I think I can help. Cowboys by Gary Phillips and Brian Hurtt is a graphic novel that does not suffer from sounding like a funny book. You know Gary’s work right? You read The Jook, right? C’mon, then, you know, he’s one of those capital ‘W’ writers who doesn’t think that emotional depth and social relevance  are hurt at all by serious tail-kicking action, and I think you’ll find Brian’s visual style cinematic without being, y’know, loud, (though, he can get splashier if you like - you've been following Sixth Gun, right? So, you know he can), I mean – he’s practically got your shot list written for you.

                  So, take a look at it, I’m sure you’ll agree that this one is dying to be a Spike Lee joint. I see it fitting in your body of work alongside 25th Hour and Summer of Sam with the sort of driving narrative of Inside Man, (and if you wanna re-set it in New York, maybe stage some action at a Knick’s game? We can make this work.) Call me.

                  All I ask in return is a reasonable finder’s fee, and a producer’s credit. I’ve got some ideas on casting too.

Expectantly,

Jedidiah Ayres

Dear Mr. Fuqua,

                  Man was I nervous when I saw that Chow Yun-Fat was gonna start making Hollywood films, but I relaxed dramatically after I saw Replacement Killers. You knew exactly what I wanted out of my favorite two-fisted bullet-chucker. Then you turned the idea of Denzel Washington on its head with Training Day and got into some serious modern-day James Ellroy type vibe. I think we’re on a similar wave-length – so sorry about that whole American Gangster thing, but let me say, you handled yourself admirably and came back with one of your very best pictures- Brooklyn's Finest. I mean, correct me if I’m wrong, but you seemed like energized and invigorated by that one.

                  So, I’m thinking, let’s keep that going, get the gang back together again and make the ultimate Antoine Fuqua movie – an adaptation of Cowboys by Gary Phillips and Brian Hurtt. In your hands and with one of those fantastic casts you can attract, this one’s got Oscar gold covering it.

                  Have your people call mine and we’ll talk. This is gonna be awesome. All I ask in return is a reasonable finder’s fee, a producer’s credit, and maybe you’d like to see my audition tape and consider me for Tim Brady. Just so you know, I’ve been to the gym  since that tape was made.

Not at all kidding,

Jedidiah Ayres who writes fiction and keeps the blog Hardboiled Wonderland.