I know my task force is skewed toward females, but it's a scientific fact (don't ask me to find the actual source) that females are better detectives than males.
For the record, there are no cats because, everyone knows, cats can't be trusted (without an ounce of guilt they'd flip to the dark side for a little catnip).
People of the testosterone persuasion or cat lovers, do not try write and try to convince me otherwise or I just might have to send Detective LaRue to have a little chat with you.
Dave Robicheaux (James Lee Burke) - I'd make him head of the task force. He's tough, experienced and despite his age can punch out bad guys as good as any young dude. He goes through wives like Jello-o shots, but he also knows where the best Cajun food is made.
Kinsey Millhone (Sue Grafton) - She's logical, organized and in good shape (all that jogging on the beach). She's a loner, but able to think on her feet so Dave could assign her a job and she'd do it without supervision. Also, she's low maintenance and wouldn't complain about the numerous fast food meals they'd have to eat.
Trixie Belden (Julie Campbell) - She's young and naïve, but also enthusiastic, and absolutely fearless. She's proven to be a team player and perfect if they need someone to crawl into small spaces. Besides, Trixie's mom would bring homemade cookies to the task force office, which is always appreciated.
Henrie O (Carolyn Hart) - Some people would go for Miss Marple (more experience) or Jessica Fletcher (more connections), but I'd hire Henry O. She's a journalist and though they often have an antagonistic relationship with cops, it would give the team balance and wisdom. She'd keep good notes, question the use of excessive force (I'm looking at you, Dave Robicheaux) and then write a best-selling true crime book about the case. She's fair so she'd share the million dollar advance with her colleagues.
Bertha Cool (A.A. Fair aka Erle Stanley Gardner) - First, she has a totally rad name. And she was the first adult female detective I read as a child. She's sharp and savvy with the added plus of being the toughest one in the unit. Bertha would be the interrogator because the minute the suspects saw her, they'd confess to anything. On her orneriest days, even Dave R.'s sidekick, Clete, would give her a wide berth (lame semi-pun intended).
Detective Ike LaRue (Mark Teague) - Okay, he's a dog, but he's loyal and clever and persistent. He would also, with no compunction, bite any escaping or uncooperative suspect. He works cheap (dog biscuits and the occasional belly rub) and has the added benefit of being funny. You need funny after a long day hunting down criminals.
Who would make up your ideal homicide task force?
Editor's Note: Earlene Fowler is the Agatha Award-winning author of the Benni Harper series.
