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Inspired Scribe
_mOonSeeKer_
Posts: 700
Registered: ‎06-15-2009

- About A Girl -

Please let me know what you think. I posted this in Writing ROom , but I thought people here in Teen reads might wanna see it. 

 

About a Girl

 


She is a girl with a passion –

A longing that has not been granted.

She wishes to be like us

For she has never been wanted.

 

She doesn’t have friends

For they thought her a waste.

She’s always been a loner;

Darkness is her secret place.

 

Fear is her constant companion

And doubts – she has many.

She often walks alone late at night,

People thought she’s crazy.

 

She would often cry suddenly

Standing on the seashore

And stare out at the sea,

Her heart wounded to the core.

 

It is when she cries

That she becomes bitter.

She hates the world

For making her wither.

 

She wants to go away –

Away from it all.

Please . . . Please . . .

She’s about to fall.

 

 

 

Unpublished Works of Arvie Garcia

Copyright © 2009

 


 

THank you! :smileyhappy:

http://whisperinglostwords.blogspot.com
Inspired Contributor
books4life48
Posts: 168
Registered: ‎12-06-2009
0 Kudos

Re: - About A Girl -

Good. I could feel the emotion and the details about the girl were amazing. Keep writing! :smileyhappy:

~Yes*We*Have*No*Bananas~ XD
ALN
Wordsmith
ALN
Posts: 219
Registered: ‎07-14-2009
0 Kudos

Re: - About A Girl -

books4life48 wrote:

Good. I could feel the emotion and the details about the girl were amazing. Keep writing! :smileyhappy:

 

I agree with you. I liked it a lot. You're really talented and definitely should keep writing. I thought the description were good. It all flowed really well.

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. "
Distinguished Correspondent
BLUEICEGAL
Posts: 1,846
Registered: ‎06-25-2008
0 Kudos

Re: - About A Girl -

That was wonderful Arvie, what appealed to me the most was how much I felt like that girl as I read along, it really gives you that vivid image that makes your imagination wonder away, I loved it, its so sad and relatable, but I couldn't help but feel this girl you were talking about... was you.

Wanna know the awesomeness that is moi??? movies, artists, gossip and the latest reviews of your fav books not to mention my upcoming twilight parody that i am currently working on is all here folks!! @ My Blog Fantasy4eva spread the word girls :smileyhappy:
Fantasy4eva
Inspired Wordsmith
Morigami
Posts: 1,258
Registered: ‎01-23-2010
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Re: - About A Girl -

Amazing job =) I have the same problems as this girl that you are telling about so I can definitely relate to her. Very good =)


Blog: http://booklover-bookchicks.blogspot.com/
Inspired Correspondent
bookrooted
Posts: 557
Registered: ‎12-23-2009
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Re: - About A Girl -

I agree as well, it flows great& i liked the way you described her feelings. The pain and sadness is easy to relate too

 

Good job(;

----------------------------------------------
Inspired Correspondent
bookrooted
Posts: 557
Registered: ‎12-23-2009
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Re: - About A Girl -

I agree as well, it flows great& i liked the way you described her feelings. The pain and sadness is easy to relate to as well

 

Good job(;

----------------------------------------------
Inspired Scribe
_mOonSeeKer_
Posts: 700
Registered: ‎06-15-2009
0 Kudos

Re: - About A Girl -

THank you all! I'm glad u all felt the emotion I wrote it with.. Yes, Blue, ur kinda right... that girl I was talking about is (sad but true) me.. i'm glad u all liked my poem... :smileyhappy: 

 

THANK YOU SO MUCH! 

http://whisperinglostwords.blogspot.com
Inspired Correspondent
CharlieG31
Posts: 257
Registered: ‎01-06-2010
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Re: - About A Girl -

I really liked the way you use words , for my taste is too personal but well done!

"The questions are more essential than the answers."
Karl Theodor Jaspers

Inspired Scribe
_mOonSeeKer_
Posts: 700
Registered: ‎06-15-2009
0 Kudos

Re: - About A Girl -

thank you very much charlie.. thanks everyone for telling me about my poem.. i really am grateful - very grateful

 

:smileyvery-happy:

http://whisperinglostwords.blogspot.com
Wordsmith
YeLLoWmisT
Posts: 210
Registered: ‎10-15-2009
0 Kudos

Re: - About A Girl -

Wow... you're really a talented writer, ARVIE! :smileyvery-happy: They're all right and you should keep it up... :smileywink:

Hey guys, check this out:

http://www.storywrite.com/
It's cool! :smileyvery-happy:
Wordsmith
YeLLoWmisT
Posts: 210
Registered: ‎10-15-2009
0 Kudos

Re: - About A Girl -

Oh, I forgot to tell you.... I laughed out loud when I noticed the "unpublished works of Arvie Garcia"... cool, but what was that for? Someone's stealing your works? No offense, just trying to make you laugh.... :d

Hey guys, check this out:

http://www.storywrite.com/
It's cool! :smileyvery-happy:
Inspired Scribe
_mOonSeeKer_
Posts: 700
Registered: ‎06-15-2009
0 Kudos

Re: - About A Girl -

thanks Yellowmist...

 

lol...i dn't think someone's stealing my works..but i just like to put that..hehe :smileyhappy:

http://whisperinglostwords.blogspot.com