04-22-2009 08:41 PM
(tell me what you think.. be honest.)
Sunshine streams from her smile
as it seems, for a while.
Her laugh caresses every ear,
while she chokes back her tears.
What he says, we understand.
His thoughts, that is, are all very grand.
By his ideas, others abide;
while he dies slowly inside.
I am not one to say, that they are wrong
in every way, they move along.
For I, too, have kept mine hidden
in this world all is forbidden.
It is not only me, who hides things inside.
Open your eyes to see; It's a problem worldwide.
We never say what we truly mean,
For what we see, is not truly seen.
Our hearts leap from here to there.
Inside, we are asleep and never really aware.
Are we wise....
or are we merely a disguise?
04-22-2009 08:49 PM
Other times i want to be happy,
Then i just want to be with you.
04-22-2009 08:54 PM - edited 04-22-2009 08:54 PM
-The Age of Innocence by Edith Wharton
04-30-2009 06:28 PM
Now that was fantastic!
I can totally see you writing a book someday.
And I will buy it, thats for sure!!
if you get time, could you send me some tips on writing??
05-01-2009 12:34 PM
05-01-2009 05:15 PM
Hmm. Powerful. It reminds me of "We Wear the Mask."
It kinda bothered me with the bolds and italics and underlines. Those are more of a distraction than a help.
Several of the commas are incorrect and unnecessary:
"It is not only me, who hides things inside."
"For what we see, is not truly seen."
"I am not one to say, that they are wrong"(also, there should be a comma after wrong)\
Otherwise it's a great poem!
06-10-2009 10:33 PM
Yes I'm gonna be a star,
Baby you can drive my car,
And Baby I love you,
Beep Beep, Beep Beep, Yea!
07-15-2009 06:16 PM - edited 07-15-2009 06:20 PM
07-15-2009 08:06 PM
07-15-2009 11:47 PM
07-16-2009 01:09 AM