Eh...my poem...

[lyssxxtwloha]

A boy,

The word simple enough,

The definition,

Not so much,

How do you explain a river of tears,

Or a heart that aches for what seems like a thousand years,

What about the feeling of being broken,

Being used like a game token,

How about the pain that comes when they move on,

Feeling like you want to end it all before the break of dawn,

What about seeing him with a new girl,

Wanting to shoot yourself because he looks at her like she's his world,

All of this,

All while you hide the scares on your wrists,

What does he have to hide,

What does he reserve on the inside,

What's behind his skin,

Why does he keep it all in,

It's just not fair that this hurts you more,

I mean...your heart is the one he tore,

Do you not revenge at the end,

Was he really that good of a friend,

Yeah...I remember those times where you drew on his hand,

You two seemed to be in your own little land,

What about those night when you two would sit on the porch and stare at the sky,

So many times you knew he loved you but you never figured out why,

How about when he pulled you out and kissed you in the rain,

You wondered if someone loving you was even sane,

Remember when he would hold you tight,

You didn't want to let go of him any of those nights,

What about when he told you he loved you,

You never questioned him if those words were true,

Little did you know what would come,

Little did you know you dumb,

Who knew forever wasn't that far away,

Who knew he would take back everything he had to say,

A boy,

The word so simple,

The definition,

Heartache...heartbreak,

Lier...fake,

Your life for him to take,

Love,

Sent from above,

Sank...drowned,

Never to be found.

Uhm, yeah...tell me what you think?

[redheart52]

wow...lyss this is sad... BUT...lol its really good! I liked how at the start of your poem you didn't say the definition of a boy and then you kind of tell a story and at the very end in your eyes you say the definition of what a boy is to you. I thought it was very good...Keep up the work.   And just a little help....certain boys can fix your tears and be a very good friend... I would LOVE to see some more. 

[dncncheernsocc…]

i think this is veryy good. its sad but its beautiful in another way.... good job. keep writing

[lyssxxtwloha]

Awuh. ^-^ Thankk youuu. <33

[KaiKC]

That was amazing... I loved it. You should post more of your poems on here, I would definitely read them.

[dholland08]

I love your poem!!! The repitition at the beginning and end was so effective. Heartbreaking and true. Thanks for writing and I'd love to see more of your work.

[LastCapitalist]

That was really beautiful, you have a real literate gift you should keep it up.

[xo_bookworm_xo]

that was such a great poem, it was sad, but it was so beautiful! you're really talented (:

[sweetiepie95]

that was sad, but i loved it! it was really pretty. you should put more of your stuff i would totally read it

[D-Vos]

Wow. This takes guys as WAAAY too complicated.

Actually, I love the poem...but it just shows that guys and girls don't get how each other think. It's well versed and well worded but I feel antagonized as a male.

Just know for the future: we usually aren't hiding anything big unless it's one of those guys who's having an exramarital affair or is hardcore on lesbo or child porn. And those guys are few. Also, we don't think about how to make you feel a certain way when we break up. We're not that complicated.

A little insight from one of the few males on this community.

D-Vos

[lyssxxtwloha]

Well, first I was just simply talking about one guy. I just didn't want to write a poem like in my point of view so I made it like this so maybe other girls could relate to it. I'm not trying to bash the male population. I'm not like that. I'm not sexiest and if that's how I came off I apologize. I was hurt by a guy, therefore I wrote a poem about it. I know it's not all guys. I have a lot of guy friends and I don't think any of them would ever do something as I had done to me. But anyway, I'm glad you liked it but I am sorry that you felt I was bashing the male population.

[ShyStar]

that was ....

awesome

lyk dead on d spot

amazin

beautiful

the truth

wow

cnt think of more  words ...    i guess u get my point

[lyssxxtwloha]

Awuh thanks! ^-^

xDDDD

[rebecca_m_15]

Holy God that was amazing... well versed and the repetition was useful and I love how you changed it a little bit so it wasn't exactly the same thing. Overall very good!

There was one part that confused me a bit....

Little did you know what would come,

Little did you know you dumb,

... on the second line, I don't know if it was a typo or just something you implied that I'm not catching, but I thought I would mention it. It was still awesome though.

---

 I also think it's funny that D-Vos feels antagonized, and I think that shows that you can evoke emotions from both genders effectively. (I hope that made as much sense to you as it did to me) 

[xxabeautifultr…]

I luv ur poem.

you can feel the emotion you put into it.

and I think that everyone can relate to this to some degree.

it could always use revising et cetra but with writing comes a lot or rewriting.

It's definately something I would expect seeing published. You have a lot of talent.

there are some lines that really connect as well as flow with the story your telling.

Especially the ones toward the beginning..."feeling like you want to end it all before the break of dawn," i really like that line as well as others.

and i can relate to the part about "the scars on your wrists,"

great work...i even created an account just to say that...oh, and good luck, like i said your pretty good. =)

-take care, the more i read it the more i luv it

[amy_death9]

wow .... ur poem was really good... i think ur right every girl can relate to it ... every1 feels like this at one point ....

keep up the good work ... 

[pupdog96]

I loved it!!!!! It is all true too... that's the sad part.

[emma23]

i love it. its so sad and true. keep writting more poems. =D

[FindingLydia]

Awesome! I can relate. Keep 'em coming

[lyssxxtwloha]

Thankkkkk youuuu. DDD

No that wasn't a typo. When I said "little did you know what may come" I was saying that you didn't know that this relationship that was once the greatest thing you could ever imagine just slip away in a moment. And "little did you know you were dumb" I was trying to say like I felt foolish for believing that something this amazing would never end.

And yeah, this poem is targeted to girls more. I mean a. I am a girl. b. I don't know what's going on through any boy's mind i'm just looking at it through my point of view and as a writer....well i see it as a good thing that i don't try to write about something i know nothing about. All I know is the way I think.

=]