01-11-2009 07:28 PM
"Sweetie. Wake up." My mom said softly. I groaned. "No." She left the room. Maybe, she would let me sleep through school.
A minute later she came back in the room. She had the "Chill Bucket." It a bucket full of ice. Timmy came up with the name. She always used it when, we wouldnt get up. I stared at her. "You wouldnt." I said in a sleepy, but hard tone. "Yes i would. Now get up!" She ordered. I burried my face in the pillow. She wasnt serious. The next thing in knew, ice was falling on top of me. Going, down my shirt, and hurting my head. "Ow." I complained. "Next time its water. Get up!!" She said rasing her voice. She took the bucket, and stomped out the room. Something was with her. Of course she dumped ice on me before, but something else was bothering her. Maybe, her and dad got in a fight. They, were always fighting and making up. Just like teenagers. The ice started melting, in my shirt. I shivered. It was freezing. I changed clothes, brushed my teeth and hair, and headed down to the kitchen. If i was lucky, maybe there was still some breakfast left.The first thing i saw, when i walked in the kitchen was alexzander crying. There was no food on the stove, or the table. "Whats wrong?" I asked him as i sat beside him at the table. "I dont want mom and dad to get a divorice." He sobbed. I havent seen him cry like this, since we went to the carnival, and he couldnt ride the "Death Trap" . Its a teenagers rollar coaster. He was only 5 at the time. That day was so fun. "What do you mean? There not getting a divorce." I sounded sure of myself. I mean something was bothering her this morning. But that could be about anything. Anyway, im sure he was wrong. "Yes they are. I heard them fighting this morning. She said she wanted a divorce. So dad packed all his stuff and left." He wiped his face off, with his left arm. "They probably just had a little fight. You know they, always get back together. He might just be checking into, a real close hotel." I tried to assure him. He looked up at me. "Really. You think so?" He had wide hopefull eyes. "Yes." It was a small word. A word that could hurt, if you wanted it to. He hoped up, and left out the kitchen. Dad didnt take all his stuff. Did he? I went up stairs and into there room.
I checked the closet, dresser, and the nightstand. (Where he kept his keys.) All that was there, was a picture of me and him. I had just been born. My eyes were big looking at me. I had a cute little grin, set on my face. A tear rolled down my cheeck. He wouldnt have taken all his stuff would he? He wouldnt leave, my picture and not say goodbye to me, or my brothers. Exspecially me. I was his first born. Wait. Im just overeacting. I would have to talk to mom, about it after school today. I heard chelsea`s car honk. I grabbed my back pack, and ran down stair and out the door. "Do you and miranda want to change here?" She asked me when i opened the passenger door. It took me a minute to figure out, what she was talking about. "Um...sure." I really didnt want to change. After, i changed into a sunflower dress, with cute rainbow flip- flops, and put my hair up in curls i was done. Miranda, was wearing shorts, with leggings under them. Her top said "Too Good For You.", and
she had on flats again. I didnt like the shirt. It was a popular girl shirt. Not that she couldnt be popular, its just she would never think she was better than anyone. Much less, wear a shirt saying it. It made me curious, but i had other things on my mind. They day went by pretty fast. The classes were okay, lunch was bareable, and my friends were happy. A little distant, but not as much as me. Once i changed again, and chelsea took me home, i was ready to talk to my mom. When i walked in the living room, i smelled cigaretts and beer. My mom was passed out on the couch. I looked at her and shook my head. I could feel the tears, burning in the back of my eye balls. I quickly straighted, myself up and looked for my brothers. I wonder what they thought of this. Last time she did this, was about a good five years ago. So they might not remember. There lucky. Sometimes, it better not knowing things. Things like this. I looked in timmys room first. They were both sitting on the bed asleep. Timmy had crumbs all over his mouth. Alex. Alex is short for alexzander. In case you were wondering. He had a dried tear on the side of his face. Either a tear or some drool. I felt bad for him. Both of them actually. Timmy, had to comfort alex while i was gone. I know how he must feel. Having to be strong, even though you want to break into a million little pieces. But, while your being strong and trying to hide your pain, you have to help and watch someone else go through it. Its very stressful. Im still being strong. For sixteen years, i had to be strong and hide how i really feel. Having, to put on a nice smile even when you dont wont to. I hope they dont have to go through, what i went through. I have to get them away from here. Or there life is going to crumble like mine. But, my life is not all that bad. I have great friends, who are always there for me. I have cute, funny, playful, but also aggravating, sneaky, little brothers. One day. One day they will have great lifes. I will make sure of it. I went back down stairs, and started cooking. I cooked, fried chicken, mash potatoes, and string beans. "Smells good." Alex said coming into the kitchen. His voice was soar. "Do you feel alright?" I asked him concerned. "My throat hurts." He rubbed his neck lightly. "Well, you and timmy go wash up. When your done you can eat, and i will find you something for your throat." I told. "Okay." He turned around and left the kitchen. After we got finished eating, i gave alex some childrens Tylenol.
Then i started washing dishes. "Im so sorry. I will cook something right now." My mom said bursting in the room. Her shoulder length chessnut hair all tangled, and eyes all puffy. Probabbly from crying. "I already cooked, and put the boys to bed. I saved u some. Its in the micorave." I looked back at the dishes. "Oh....thanks." She sounded suprised. I didnt say anything. "Do you want to talk?" She asked coming up beside me. "About what?" I huffed. "About your dad and me." She laid her hand on my shoulder. I shrugged it off. "Sweetie, dont be like that. Everything will be alright. Tomorrow, we can do something together. All of us." Her voice was light and calm. I took my hands out the water. "No.Everything will not be alright. Everytime, things go wrong, you buy me something or take us all out to eat. Do you know what its like to come home from school, and find your mother on the couch passed out drunk. And your little brother, who cried himself to sleep. If your not going to take care of yourself, take care of your sons!" I yelled. She looked at me in shock. "Dont you dare raise you voice at me! And dont you ever tell me about taking care of my family! I am your mother." Her face was turning a light red. "You might have gave birth to me! But, you where never a mother to me. I mainly took care of myself, and timmy and alex. Its to late for you to be a mother to me. But, its not to late for them. You need help mom." I took a deep breathe when i finished."Thats it. Your grounded young lady. Go to your room." Was all she said. I turned and left the kitchen. But i didnt go to my room. I opened the front door. "Where do you think your going?" My mom said coming towards me. "I need to some fresh air. I`ll be back later." I shut the door behind me and ran. I ran in to the dark.
Other times i want to be happy,
Then i just want to be with you.