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Frequent Contributor
b-practical
Posts: 116
Registered: ‎01-03-2009
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Re: Just thought I'd share a part of me...

Oops, sorry! Maybe that one was a little too much...

Well, at least you're better off than I am right!? lol!

So sad, so strange, the days that are no more.
Frequent Contributor
b-practical
Posts: 116
Registered: ‎01-03-2009

Re: Just thought I'd share a part of me...

I am I

 

 

I am I.

I am a girl with no hopes, dreams, wishes, or desires of any kind. I don't have any plans or goals for the future. I am not living my life to the fullest. I am simply existing. Waiting and yet not waiting for something, anything, to happen or not. I am told that I have the potential to do great things in life. I honestly doubt that.

 

There are very few things I hold in high regard that are indispensable to me. Moreover, I have a morbid way of thinking. At times I am stressful and infuriating to be around. My emotions are easily misinterpreted by others. I can be cruel and most of the time am a grim person.

 

I am mentally delicate, yet strong enough to hide my weaknesses. I can be rude and obnoxious. I may be considered somewhat obscene to various people. I don't feel obligated to do anything at all. I am here to exist for a short amount of time, at the end of which, I will be obsolete.

 

Thought of by a specific few who thought they knew me.

 

Until I am forgotten.

 

Time will pass...

 

And I am no longer a memory.

 

 

*I wrote this for my english class during my senior year in high school. Jeez, that seems like forever ago! Anyway, I have a friend on here who sort of reminded me of it and I just had to go searching through my files for it. In a way, I suppose it is depressing...But hey, maybe this will help some of you to look on the brighter side of things in hopes that you won't turn into someone like me. Please be optimistic about life. The world doesn't need anymore people like me to pollute it.

So sad, so strange, the days that are no more.
Wordsmith
Arielle
Posts: 1,098
Registered: ‎10-30-2008
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Re: Just thought I'd share a part of me...

Oh B! You arent polluting the world! No one is polluting the world! You are such a talented writer and yeah it may be because what you have been through, but it makes it that much more amazing and relateable. I really like this. And I am glad you shared it with all of us. It touches me and actually I can feel this way sometimes, more than I should. 
Who controls the past controls the future.
Who controls the present controls the past.
Distinguished Correspondent
KaiKC
Posts: 143
Registered: ‎01-29-2009
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Re: Just thought I'd share a part of me...

 I know what you mean by having a get-away into a book. I am happy with what I've been dealt, and I can just get into a book if I get too depressed about how ordinary my life is. I don't in-particularly want to be noticed (never have been, never will be) but I want to have something to look back on and say,'I did that, so IN YOUR FACE. lol, joking. But I would like something interesting, and if I end up dying before I get that chance, oh well, I've had books. They're there when I am bored out of my mind.

 

This is basically just a rant, pay no mind to it.

Distinguished Correspondent
KaiKC
Posts: 143
Registered: ‎01-29-2009
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Re: Just thought I'd share a part of me...

I like it :smileywink:
Inspired Correspondent
passi0nate_1
Posts: 343
Registered: ‎06-14-2008
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Re: Just thought I'd share a part of me...

i like it . i enjoy reading what you write and seeing the connections between them. your stuff goes very deep and i think i really can relate sometimes. very cool.
Music is the cure.
I am the addiction.
Frequent Contributor
b-practical
Posts: 116
Registered: ‎01-03-2009
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Re: Just thought I'd share a part of me...

Okay, so this isn't a poem or really any type of writing piece. It's a not-so-long-ago memory that is still fresh in my mind. Oh, I guess I should worn those of you who don't already know, that I was a carver. So yeah, maybe that will help you to understand some things in this past event a little easier...I don't know.

 

 

 

 

Kill them. Just kill them all.

 

A few months back, my brother Billy and a group of his friends were just hanging out in the kitchen.

The rest of the family was out at dinner. I stayed home sick.

I was walking to the kitchen, (for FOOD, of course), and everyone was laughing, carrying on, just having a good ol' time. I was standing quietly in the doorway, patiently waiting for them to go elsewhere, like another room, outside, or to some stupid party they're always causing trouble at. They usually don't stay (which is smart and much appreciated) when I'm around.

That's when Billy noticed me and all of a sudden, out of nowhere, I mean completely out of the blue, Billy says:

"You hate my friends, don't you?"

 

I stared at him blankly, thinking "yeah, what's new?" and wondering where he was going with this old argument, wondering if I was hallucinating because I was sick, or if I was having another nightmare. That was when I realized he had pulled out a knife. A knife that he personally, placed in my hand and said:

"Kill them. Just kill them all."

 

All of his friends stopped laughing and just stared at me, as completely dumbfounded as I was.

I gazed at the knife, gripping it so hard my knuckles went white, while whispering fiercely to myself:

"I don't hate them. I don't want to kill them. I'm just not a people-person is all. I don't hate them. I don't want to kill them. I'm just not a people-person is all."

 

Over and over and over.

 

Then I suddenly snapped out of the spellbinding chant, slowly begun raising the knife to my own skin, completely unaware (by that point) of everyone and everything around me. I felt the cool blade touch my skin in a feather-light caress...there was a strange sound and my attention was brought back quickly when I heard the gasps from the other people in the room.

 

I was so incredibly enraged, I believe my blood truly was boiling. I turned, stalked toward my brother and told him he was an ignorant a** and with hands shaking with fury and fear, set the knife in the sink...and went upstairs to rest.

 

That memory is still haunting me.

How could my own brother do that to me?

It was so humiliating.
I was so devastated by the event.
It was like he was trying to prove something.

Or more likely, just wanted a few minutes entertainment from his freak sister.

I felt so weak.

I feel so weak still.

 

So sad, so strange, the days that are no more.
Frequent Contributor
b-practical
Posts: 116
Registered: ‎01-03-2009
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Re: Just thought I'd share a part of me...

This is a simple little poem I wrote, what seems like ages ago now, when one of my little brother's and I got into an argument. I showed him what I wrote and his smile was like sunshine, the way he lit up when he realized it was about him. lol! He was so adorable!

 

 

Forgiven

 

 

His expression was clear

I could see it on his face.

He looked up at me

With hatred and disgrace.

 

Knealing by his side

I was suddenly shocked.

He turned his head

And silently mocked.

 

He did not listen

To a word I said.

He raced up the stairs

And went straight to bed.

 

Under his covers

He laid there awake.

Hoping to be forgiven

If only for his sake.

 

My intentions were good

Though he did not see.

He came to me in tears

And I forgave him easily.

 

So sad, so strange, the days that are no more.
Wordsmith
Arielle
Posts: 1,098
Registered: ‎10-30-2008
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Re: Just thought I'd share a part of me...

B that is so sweet and so cute. I loved it!
Who controls the past controls the future.
Who controls the present controls the past.
Distinguished Wordsmith
_K3LS3Y_
Posts: 840
Registered: ‎01-20-2009
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Re: Just thought I'd share a part of me...

awww. that's so good. your like a natural. that's so sweet, if only i could forgive my little brother that easily.:} haha
You always get your happy ending
If you're not happy...then it's not the end
Frequent Contributor
b-practical
Posts: 116
Registered: ‎01-03-2009

Re: Just thought I'd share a part of me...

Numb

 

 

I'm not to misunderstood,

Unlike some,

Whose hearts run wild

While mine is numb.

 

Lost in darkness,

Separated from the light.

Struggling to keep hope,

Giving up the fight.

 

Unknowingly screaming,

Voicing my fears.

To suddenly go mute,

Left to drown in my tears.

So sad, so strange, the days that are no more.
Wordsmith
Arielle
Posts: 1,098
Registered: ‎10-30-2008
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Re: Just thought I'd share a part of me...

I think you should put a book together of all your poems and get it published. These are all amazing. I love each and every one. 
Who controls the past controls the future.
Who controls the present controls the past.
Frequent Contributor
b-practical
Posts: 116
Registered: ‎01-03-2009

Re: Just thought I'd share a part of me...

Devotion

 

 

Sometimes I'd wish upon a star

Always traveling near and far.

Searching for the place where you might be

Hoping to find you so you would see.

 

How much we deserve to be together

To show you it could last forever.

If only like me, you would try

Instead of constantly asking why.

 

Where it can be just me and you

And I can prove my love is true.

Even if for me, there were someone better

I can't leave you now, nor would I ever.

So sad, so strange, the days that are no more.
Wordsmith
Arielle
Posts: 1,098
Registered: ‎10-30-2008
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Re: Just thought I'd share a part of me...

Again, I like it :smileyvery-happy: 

You are very good.  

Who controls the past controls the future.
Who controls the present controls the past.
Frequent Contributor
b-practical
Posts: 116
Registered: ‎01-03-2009
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Re: Just thought I'd share a part of me...

meh, I just right what I feel or what I want to feel, ya know?

 

So sad, so strange, the days that are no more.
Wordsmith
Arielle
Posts: 1,098
Registered: ‎10-30-2008
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Re: Just thought I'd share a part of me...

Yes I do know. And it turns out nicely. You write well.
Who controls the past controls the future.
Who controls the present controls the past.
Frequent Contributor
b-practical
Posts: 116
Registered: ‎01-03-2009
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Re: Just thought I'd share a part of me...

Thank you.

So sad, so strange, the days that are no more.
Frequent Contributor
AlwaysSearching
Posts: 63
Registered: ‎01-10-2009
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Re: Just thought I'd share a part of me...

I like it too, ha ha my screen name is in it, almost.  This one is my second fav.
~I am always searching. Searching for fun, something to read, for friends, for more chances to see the world. For my love.~
Frequent Contributor
AlwaysSearching
Posts: 63
Registered: ‎01-10-2009
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Re: Just thought I'd share a part of me...

Though this one is rather different from the others, it is more moving and gentle in a way.
~I am always searching. Searching for fun, something to read, for friends, for more chances to see the world. For my love.~
Frequent Contributor
b-practical
Posts: 116
Registered: ‎01-03-2009

Re: Just thought I'd share a part of me...

A Breath of Night

 

 

Staring into absolute nothingness

Tears frozen on my cheeks

As I ponder my existence

A star falls from the sky

Seeming as though the moon was weeping for me

No, not for me, but with me.

Or perhaps it was a little of both.

Childishly, I wish...

I wish for an end to my life

So that I will no longer exist for others

No longer search for a purpose.

To simply, stop existing.

And with it, end the search for reason...

 

The gray world, so beautiful, so still

No motion, except for the wind

No sound as I stare completely unaware

Into a seemingly endless void, in the ever cloudy sky, so full of stars.

A breath of night, a moment of true happiness.

Until I force myself to leave it, for the shelter of a house, I am unable to knowingly call my home.

And to repeat the unhappy cycle of my pathetic existence...

Another tear escapes me and freezes in the wind.

Maybe I truly am, as people say, cold and dead on the inside.

So sad, so strange, the days that are no more.