06-24-2009 11:22 PM
Night after night
I lay awake and cry
Listening to you
Tell lie after lie.
Causing me nothing but sadness,
Pain, and despair
You hurt me without realizing
And when you do you don't care.
I'm still waiting for the day
When you will leave
And wondering why
I was so naive.
Accepting you into my home
And my heart
I hoped against hope
That we would not part.
Thoughts and memories
Of how we were back then
No longer am I wishing
For things to be like that again.
Nothing between us
Could ever be the same
I once thought it was love
But you thought it a game.
06-24-2009 11:30 PM
06-25-2009 05:47 AM
b i wish i could write like you, i love to write poems, i think when your feeling angry or really emotional that the best time to write, you can get a whole buncha emotions down that you wouldnt if you wernt in the moment if you get me, like someone said before you have a great way with words my favs are Antagonism and i am i
keep doing what you do cz ur obvs great at it ps theres nothing wrong with feeling angry or really depressed with this world, most of are its the reason we turn to books to get away from it all
08-13-2009 08:47 PM
I thought I would write about a guy...
Around this time, every year, I'd walk through our old apartment and think of a guy. This guy was my best friends brother.
I went downstairs in the apartment building to hang out with my friend. Her brother answered the door and invited me in. Little did I know what was to come later. So anyway, this guy was someone I thought I could trust, someone I thought I was safe being alone with for a few minutes, while everyone else was out.
This guy asked me if I wanted to play a video game while I waited for his sister to get home. Impulsively, I agreed. I led the way to the living room, when he steered me toward the other direction.
We entered into his room and he shut the door behind him. His room was the only one in the apartment that did not have a lock on the door. So, I sat on the bed waiting for him to set everything up and he just stood there with his back against the door.
I then asked what game we were going to play and his reply was "my game." So, being the naive, little ten-year old girl that I was, I said "okay, teach me how to play." He then crossed the room and sat beside me.
Slowly, he put his arms around my waist and lifted me onto his lap. I didn't know what to think, say, or do. I just sat there while he began to play with my hair, twirling it between his fingers. He kept whispering in my ear, telling me how pretty I was and how he had wanted to tell me that for so long.
At that moment I began trembling with fear. I didn't even understand what was happening. He placed his other hand on my leg where he began to rub slowly, moving further upward with each stroke. Then I tried to move away from him. Big mistake. He had a tight hold on me.
I began kicking and tried to bite the hand that was moved to my mouth. Frustrated, he straddled me on the bed. His bed. His other hand moved along my inner thighs, and I struggled still.
In a muffled voice I cried for him to stop. He wouldn't. I managed to turn my head and bit his wrist and he released me for a second, which passed all too quickly. I wasn't able to get out from under him.
He then grabbed my arm to keep me from wiggling free. He brought his face toward mine and harshly whispered "it's okay, I forgive you," over and over again.
My eyes were burning and my arm was sore, and bruised from his grip. It was agony, lying there beneath him. Listening to his rasping voice, telling me lies, and feeling his rough hands touching every inch of my body was enough to make me want to hurl.
I turned my head away and stared at the wall. All feeling was gone. I was left completely numb...
For what seemed like eternity, was only minutes. In the distance, a door slammed. Familiar voices were calling out "we're home."
Just as suddenly as it had started, I was pulled out from under him and placed in his lap. I was instantly brought back to reality.
His sister, my best friend, walked through the door and stared at us. He was successfully making it look as though I were being tickled. Except...I wasn't laughing.
She saw my tear streaked face and asked what was wrong. I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. He was quick to answer for me, saying that I laughed so hard, I began to cry.
His hands were finally removed from my body and I took the opportunity to run. Without speaking a word to any of them, I left.
I'd written about the event in several journals until I thought it was erased from my memory. But since I had moved into the apartment that once belonged to them, I lived there for about five and a half years, and I still could not call that wretched place my home.
I had trouble passing the room, "his room," without thinking about that day. That day and how much more would have happened that day, if his sister hadn't walked in.
I stayed silent for so many years. Until now, when I figured I would write about a guy. This guy was my best friends brother.