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Frequent Contributor
b-practical
Posts: 116
Registered: ‎01-03-2009
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Re: Just thought I'd share a part of me...

Oh you can be one evil little girl sometimes and you know it too, don't you!? lol! Later shorty! :smileywink: Just messing with you! I couldn't resist!
So sad, so strange, the days that are no more.
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Twilight_Lover247
Posts: 61
Registered: ‎01-16-2009
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Re: Just thought I'd share a part of me...

No no its fine.:smileywink: You can call me that. Later!
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Arielle
Posts: 1,098
Registered: ‎10-30-2008
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Re: Just thought I'd share a part of me...

B!!! I really really like that one.. You are so good with this stuff. I wish I could write like you. Honestly, It is so good! 
Who controls the past controls the future.
Who controls the present controls the past.
Frequent Contributor
b-practical
Posts: 116
Registered: ‎01-03-2009

Re: Just thought I'd share a part of me...

What Taunts Her

 

 

 

All alone. She is always, all alone.

 

 

As many times as she has said it, she knows that it's not what she truly wants. Then again, at the same time, she does want someone and will willingly admit it aloud, but goes so far as that. Because in reality, she can never have the one she wants. He is worlds away from her. She is not good enough, and she knows it. He also knows it and admits it freely from time to time. Taunting her. She doesn't take it personally though. It is only a reminder and she is grateful to him for pushing her further away. He has many strengths, especially in mind. Only one more reason to make it stop. Why does she waste her time. He doesn't even like her as a person. She doesn't even like herself as a person. He tells her these things she already knows.

 

Make it stop...

 

...Only to start again...

 

The angel he has a crush on is absolutely perfect for him. She sees this and knows this to be true. She doesn't want to interfere and tries her damnedest not to. But even she gets jealous and tends to make a fool of herself. She wants him to be happy and that means accepting his relationship with this angel. She is more perfect for him than anyone.

 

Please, make it stop...

 

...Then other thoughts enter her mind...

 

She wants to better herself, but is also scared that she won't ever live up to her own expectations. She brings herself up only to knock herself back down. The story of her life. Pitiful. Depressing. Sorrowful. Disgusting. Disgraceful. Every negative word ever to be thought of, is all that she sees in herself.

 

Just make it STOP!

 

...Back to the beginning...

 

Alone. She will always be alone. Whether she wants to be or not, she will be. As if there were no other options. It's just how it is, how it should be, how it always will be. A life of longing. How sad for she. And yet, this is her punishment. She accepts it with open arms, knowing she deserves far worse and taking it all in, she embraces the pain. She will not let her fears overcome her like she used to. No longer will she give in to the temptation of just letting it all go and falling apart piece by piece. She needs to mend herself, like only she can.

 

She's slipping...

 

...Quick, catch her!...

 

...But who? No one's there...

 

...Too late, she's lost...

 

Her heart is suffocating. Beating so fiercly it feels as if it will tear through her chest at any moment. The tears are swelling in her eyes as she fights with all her might to pull it together, if only for her sake. She cannot do this. It's wrong to just break down over a few meaningless, empty thoughts of some other person's happiness. Jealousy. Rage. Discouragement. All within a few minutes of weakness. What else could go wrong for her? With her? Never-mind, it's sometimes better not knowing. She isn't quite all there anyway, so it doesn't really matter. This will all be from her mind within moments of distractions. Then it will all start up again and there will be nothing to stop the repetition. Over and over and over again. When will it stop? Never. Impossible to escape. Just like everything else. It's inevitable. Like death. Just waiting for it to come.

 

Screaming...SCREAMing...SCREAMING!

 

STOP!!!

 

She will always be alone. What's wrong with her?

So sad, so strange, the days that are no more.
Wordsmith
Arielle
Posts: 1,098
Registered: ‎10-30-2008
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Re: Just thought I'd share a part of me...

 Wow B. That one really got me. That was so good. OMG. I am honestly speechless. I like it a lot and it made me think so much about myself.

 

ps. Where have you been? It seems like its been forever since you have been on!? 

Who controls the past controls the future.
Who controls the present controls the past.
Distinguished Correspondent
KaiKC
Posts: 143
Registered: ‎01-29-2009
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Re: Just thought I'd share a part of me...

I like it. (Don't take this the wrong way, if it upsets you that is) It reminds me of a chess board, you know, how every piece has it's own part, and it's the same part it does every time it's played. But if you look deeper into the game you can almost see a world of little castles and knights and such things. But you can just quit the game, and read or whatever. That, in my opinion, is one of the only reasons I like my life. When I'm reading a really dragged-out book, or playing Monopoly (I don't like that game) you can just quit. But I would like life to have more in store for me than what it's showing so far. As far as my sight on my future goes, I'm going to get married, have kids, then die. Not very fun. Anyways, your poem could take on alot of meanings, and I've experienced alot of them, but I really like it. Your poem, I mean. Alot of what I just typed probably makes no sense, but it had while I was writing it, and I don't feel like going through it. Farewell B.
Inspired Correspondent
passi0nate_1
Posts: 343
Registered: ‎06-14-2008
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Re: Just thought I'd share a part of me...

i like your writing a lot. its very deep and interesting and leaves me with many different ways to interpret each poem.its really very good. 

Music is the cure.
I am the addiction.
Inspired Correspondent
passi0nate_1
Posts: 343
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Re: Just thought I'd share a part of me...

i posted something under this poem i wrote in the writing room and id really like your opinion on it :smileyvery-happy:
Music is the cure.
I am the addiction.
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AlwaysSearching
Posts: 63
Registered: ‎01-10-2009
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Re: Just thought I'd share a part of me...

It's really good.  Seems like it is connected somehow to the last one u wrote in a way.  Also it seems like u could write a story off of this poem u just wrote, just not sure how, writing isnt my strong, no matter how creative i get.  I like ur first one on this thread the best though.
~I am always searching. Searching for fun, something to read, for friends, for more chances to see the world. For my love.~
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b-practical
Posts: 116
Registered: ‎01-03-2009
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Re: Just thought I'd share a part of me...

Thanks again Arielle! Sorry, I kind of disappeared like that. Our home computer caught some sort of virus or whatnot. I don't really know anything about computers, so whatever. lol! But it's fixed and I'm back! Yay!

 

So, please tell me how this made you think of yourself?

So sad, so strange, the days that are no more.
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b-practical
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Re: Just thought I'd share a part of me...

Hey KaiKC, thanks! I like the chess board methaphor you used to describe your opinion on this piece. And I totally get what you're saying. Although I can't exactly "quit" or stop the thoughts I have racing around my head, hence the reason I read so much, so that I can have an escape for a while. lol! I also think that there are a whole lot of people in this world who are greedy for so much more out of life than what they've been dealt. If nothing else, you can be grateful for having more planned out for yourself than I do. I don't even plan on marriage or kids. I'm just going to wander around as unnoticed as I've always been, then die. Leaving behind no memories, to be forgotten as if I never existed to begin with...Oh jeez, I wrote something similar to that, I'll put it up. It's more of a description of myself though.

Ahh, anyway, thanks for reading!!

So sad, so strange, the days that are no more.
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b-practical
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Re: Just thought I'd share a part of me...

Jasmine, thank you! It's touching to know that there are people who like what I write. And I like that you noticed the fact that there is more than one way of interpreting things. Just remember that sometimes the end results can be the same.

OoO and I read Broken, and I think it was very beautifully written with so much emotion!

So sad, so strange, the days that are no more.
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b-practical
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Re: Just thought I'd share a part of me...

Thanks for pointing that out Drew! You're right on the mark. For the most part, all of my pieces are based on my feelings, which mostly consists of being alone and lonely. And um, I have written some short stories that I think would be decent novel material. Just not by someone like me. Maybe I can send my ideas to someone and see if they can make anything of them..? Probably not. I'm embarrassed enough exposing this much of myself on here! lol! Oh and Wakeful-Sleep will always be my personal favorite of everything I write, so I get that, thank you Drew!
So sad, so strange, the days that are no more.
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Arielle
Posts: 1,098
Registered: ‎10-30-2008
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Re: Just thought I'd share a part of me...

B. I will PM you!

Who controls the past controls the future.
Who controls the present controls the past.
Inspired Wordsmith
Kierstin-Kayla
Posts: 458
Registered: ‎01-29-2009
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Re: Just thought I'd share a part of me...

[ Edited ]

WOW! I love your writing!!

Really Incredible!

Message Edited by Kierstin-Kayla on 02-01-2009 09:10 PM
pain is inevitable. suffering is optional.
Frequent Contributor
b-practical
Posts: 116
Registered: ‎01-03-2009
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Re: Just thought I'd share a part of me...

You all freakin' rock! I can already feel my head swelling thanks to all the compliments! lol!

So sad, so strange, the days that are no more.
Frequent Contributor
b-practical
Posts: 116
Registered: ‎01-03-2009

Re: Just thought I'd share a part of me...

Antagonism

 

 

 

I hate you with a passion

That will not subside

And I will not stop

Until you have died

 

I can think of

Many ways to kill you

In hopes of being free

To start all anew

 

Over and over

Everything you say replays

Bound to my memory

An image of you stays

 

Get out of my mind

Get out of my head

I will not stop

Until you are dead

 

At the end of each day

You are my worst enemy

But then I realize that all along

My enemy is ... Me.

 

 

 

*This one still needs tweaking, but I figured I'd put it up anyway. Is there anyone here who can be, at times, as self-loathing as myself?

So sad, so strange, the days that are no more.
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Arielle
Posts: 1,098
Registered: ‎10-30-2008
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Re: Just thought I'd share a part of me...

Wow.

Amazing.

I really liked it.

Damn, its like you read my thoughts.

lol.

Good job.

:] 

Who controls the past controls the future.
Who controls the present controls the past.
Frequent Contributor
b-practical
Posts: 116
Registered: ‎01-03-2009
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Re: Just thought I'd share a part of me...

heh, well it's sometimes comforting to know that you aren't the only one who feels such things.
So sad, so strange, the days that are no more.
Distinguished Scribe
booklover37
Posts: 513
Registered: ‎12-26-2008
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Re: Just thought I'd share a part of me...

wow B!!! I really liked your poem. I can definitely relate,

but it doesn't sound so bad to be loathing myself when you put it into those words. lol.

"...life is a fight just the same, whether you fight it with weapons, or with words. You have to fight for what you believe in, and for the things you want.'"