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Inspired Wordsmith
Vampires-and-Spongebob
Posts: 2,368
Registered: ‎02-03-2009

My Name Is Not Lily

Voldemort: *pulls out wand* Latisimus!

 

Me: What? No, I’m not very happy.

 

Voldemort: Isn’t that a spell? It was in Latin.

 

Me: Not everything in Latin is a spell. Show ‘em Sirius!

 

Sirius: Puella! *Voldemort turns into Voldemorta*

 

Me: Wait? That Actually worked? Seriously?

 

Dumbledore: It is a matter of fact that everything in Latin is a spell. As the adolescents would say now. Like duh.

 

Me: I never thought I’d see the day…

 

Lupin: Of what?

 

Harry: Of my parents death! Mummy! Daddy! Why?!

 

Me: You should be thankful you didn’t die, Mr. Potter

 

Harry: But my parent’s are dead.

 

Me: Pity.

 

Sirius: Was that necessary?

 

Snape: Yes it was. This ‘me’ person proves to have much potential. Has the Sorting Hat sorted you yet?

 

Me: One, the name is Lily. Two, no. I don’t go to a school of witchcraft and wizardry.

Harry: Mummy?! *hugs Me/Lily*

 

Me: I am not your Mommy!

 

Harry: Your silly. It’s Mummy, not mommy! That’s ridiculous!

 

Me: MOMMY!

 

Mommy: Yes?

 

Me: Nothing…

 

Mommy: Lily, darling, your scaring me…

 

Harry: GRANDMUM!

 

Mommy: I am not your grandmother, Harry. Voldemort’s sister is.

 

Voldemort/Voldemorta: I have a sister?

 

Me/Lily: Yeah. My mother’s imagination created her.

 

Voldemort’s sister, Tammy: Voldy! I missed you so much! Kisses!

 

Voldemort: I don’t like this girl….

 

Sirius: You don’t like anyone, Voldy

 

Dumbledore: True, dat!

 

Me/Lily: Did Dumbledore seriously just say that?

 

Sirius: Did someone say my name?

 

Dumbledore: Seriously though, that was some hardcore stuff bee-atch! *pounds fist on chest and throws up peace sign*

 

Harry: I now know why Tom went to the bad side.

 

Tom Felton and Tom Riddle: Who?

 

Me: *smacks head on computer desk* Really?

 

Dumbledore: Hell yeah bee-atch!

 

Lupin: Wooooooooooooooo!

 

Me/Lily: *looks at sky* Oh, God…

 

Snape: I’m afraid Lupin has became his primitive self once again.

 

Voldemort: Unfortunately.

 

Lupin: You know you want it *wags tail in Snape and Voldemort’s face*

 

Harry: I’m never reading Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban  again…

 

Lily: You mean it isn’t real? *cries in the corner*

 

Dumbledore: S’alright Lily. You can still be my homie

 

Neville: *faints*

 

Harry: Dumbledore-- *cuts off by Dumbledore*

 

Dumbledore: It’s Double Dee now, got it Scarface?

 

Draco: Nice one Double Dee! *high fives Dumbledore*

 

Dumbledore: What did I say writer? It’s Double Dee now. Don’t make me go Chris Brown on you’re a$$!

 

Lily: *whispers to Harry* When did Dumbledore come from the Hood?

 

Neville: *wakes up* What’s up everybody?

 

Double Dee: I heard you. Don’t make me go O.J. on your arse!

 

Neville: *faints again*

 

Lily: Where the bloody hell is Hermione when you need her?

 

Double Dee: She be out doin’ the naughty-naughty with one of dem Weasels

 

Ron: I am not a weasel!

 

Lupin: That’s not what your mom said last night…

 

Everyone, except Lupin: What the bloody hell?!?!

 

Lupin: Sorry to break it you Ronnie, but your mother and I have some news…

 

Molly W.: Ronald, myself and Remus are in deep passionate doggy love. I’m leaving your father…for a were wolf

 

Ron: Why?!

 

Lupin: She’s pregnant with my pups…like dur

 

Lily: How do you get knocked up by werewolf…don’t answer that…..

 

Snape: I always knew those Weasleys were very fertile, but OMFG!

 

Arthur W: Molly, dear, why are you leaving me?!?!

 

Molly W: Arthur, I’m sorry to say…you have not been satisfying me…

 

Ron, Ginny, Fred, George, Bill, Percy: Gross!

 

Arthur: That’s not what you told me last week….

 

Lily: *whispers to Ron* Your mom sure gets around a lot….

 

Ron: Don’t remind me…  :smileysad:

 

Harry: But Molly! I thought what we had was special!!

 

Molly W: Oh, Harry…But my love for Double Dee has overtaken me…

 

Lily: WTF is going on?

 

Fred and George: Well, Lily, when two people are in “deep, passionate, doggy love”…

 

Lily: STOP!

 

Double Dee: Yo, Molls, you know I’m as straight as a circle! Besides,  DD wants to get down

with Mr. Love Potion…

 

Ron: Mr. Love Potion?

 

Snape/Mr. Love Potion: Oh, Albus, you really mean it?

 

Double Dee: Hellz yez, my wizard!


*Double Dee and Mr. Love Potion walk together in the sun set*

 

Lily: Awww

 

Ginny: That

 

Hermione: Is

 

George + Fred: SO CUTE!


 

"Behold the male beast roaring in the jungle for his mate. See how the female beast giggles behind a shrub while she organizes her voice to say 'Pardon dear, did you say something?'"~Elphaba, Wicked, pg.102-103
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JdiennoPSU
Posts: 850
Registered: ‎03-06-2010
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Re: My Name Is Not Lily

lols

- JJ

Dovie'andi se tovya sagain.


FACT: Childhood cancers are the #1 disease killer in children - more than asthma, cystic fibrosis, diabetes, and pediatric AIDS combined.
Distinguished Correspondent
Kyleigh
Posts: 2,580
Registered: ‎11-16-2008
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Re: My Name Is Not Lily

Oh Montana you make me laugh SO MUCH.  Keep writing this please! 

"There are two types of people in this world. People who hate clowns...and clowns."
Distinguished Correspondent
BLUEICEGAL
Posts: 1,846
Registered: ‎06-25-2008
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Re: My Name Is Not Lily

[ Edited ]

Muwahahaha utterly hilarious reminds me why me and Kay do love you so, my dear Montana you make me proud! Keep mailing em me, I just had to come on here and have a look anyway :smileyvery-happy:

Wanna know the awesomeness that is moi??? movies, artists, gossip and the latest reviews of your fav books not to mention my upcoming twilight parody that i am currently working on is all here folks!! @ My Blog Fantasy4eva spread the word girls :smileyhappy:
Fantasy4eva
Inspired Wordsmith
Morigami
Posts: 1,258
Registered: ‎01-23-2010
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Re: My Name Is Not Lily

Funniest thing I've read all day! :smileyvery-happy:


Blog: http://booklover-bookchicks.blogspot.com/
Inspired Wordsmith
Vampires-and-Spongebob
Posts: 2,368
Registered: ‎02-03-2009

Re: My Name Is Not Lily-I Have No Name

                                            I Have No Name

                                     A Vampire Academy Chat

 

 

Adrian: Oh, Rosie Posie? Where art thou hot self?

 

Dimitri: Is this your latest pathetic attempt to take my Roza away from me, Adrian? With bad Shakespeare?

 

Rose: OMFG! Adrian! That is like sooooooooooo sweet!!!!!!

 

Dimitri: WTF

 

Adrian: Rose, I have a proposition for you!

 

Dimitri: Adrian, I’m surprised you knew how to spell that word

 

Rose: Like OMFG! Dimitri you are so mean! Yes, Adrian?

 

Adrian: Well, as everyone knows I’m hot. Your hot. *wiggles eye brows*

 

*Lissa reads top messages*

 

Lissa: Wow

 

Rose: Adrian I was totally thinking the same thing! We should get our eyebrows waxed

together!

 

Adrian: We should?

 

Rose: Duh! We can’t let our hotness be wasted on freakin’ unibrows!

 

Christian: Or I could just burn them off altogether. *smiles wickedly*

 

Rose: Shut Up, Pyro!

 

Dimitri: Rose, what about my bad-a$$ Russian God-like hotness?!

 

Rose: Sorry Dimka. Adrian is hotter!

 

Dimitri: Is not

 

Rose: Is too

 

Dimitri: Is not

 

Rose: Is too!

 

Lissa: Shut up! You guys are scaring me!

 

Rose: Lissa, you can bring dead people back to life and we scare you?

 

Dimitri: In her defense Rose, you do see dead people.

 

Rose: Do not!

 

Dimitri: Do too!

 

Rose: Do not!

 

Dimitri: Do too!


Christian: Lol. You guys are acting like an old married couple…

 

Dimitri: I can live with that…*wiggles eyebrows at Rose*

 

Rose: Pedophile!

 

Adrian: Go Rose!

 

*Adrian and Rose do super high five in freeze frame*

 

Kirova: Why, hello! If it isn’t my wonderful students, one of my best guardians and a drunk! How are you all?

 

Rose: Headmistress Kirova, Dimitri has something he really wanted to tell you….

 

Adrian: He’s afraid you’ll turn down his proposition.

 

Kirova: Well, spit it out Guardian Belikov!

 

Rose: He wants to confess his undying love for you, but he thinks you’ll run off with Adrian.

 

*Kirova stuck in shocked expression*

 

Adrian: We keep telling him it’s ridiculous, but he doesn’t believe us! Can you imagine?!

 

Dimitri: WTF is wrong with you guys?!

 

Adrian: We’re only trying to help you!

 

Rose: If you don’t admit it to yourself now then when will you?

 

Dimitri: Never, since it’s not true.

 

Christian: Don’t deny it Guardian Belikov. You’ve told me more then once of how much you just want to rip off Headmistress Kirova’s clothes and do the um…Help Lissa?

 

Lissa: Naughty-naughty

 

Christian: And do the naughty-naughty…

 

Kirova: Guardian Belikov, I, um…let’s ignored this ever happened. Shall we?

 

Dimitri: I couldn’t agree more Headmistress….

 

*Kirova leaves*

 

Lissa: LMAO!

 

Dimitri: What is wrong with all of you?! You could have gotten me fired!

 

Rose: We know, but we were prepping you.

 

Dimitri: Prepping me for what?

 

Adrian: Confessing your undying love for Rose’s mom.


Dimitri: WTF!

 

*Janine Hathaway comes*

 

Christian: Ms. Hathaway? We need to talk to you.

 

Janine: What did Rose do now?

 

Adrian: It’s nothing like that. It’s just someone wanted to ask you something.

 

Janine: Who and what? I have a job to get back too.

 

Lissa: Ms. Hathaway, Guardian Belikov wanted to ask for your hand in marriage.

 

Janine: OMFG! Are you series? Of course I accept!

 

*Dimitri bashes head into wall*

 

Janine: Rose, you get a father! Aren’t you excited?!

 

Rose: I love you, step-daddy Belikov! *bear hugs Dimitri*

 

Lissa: Aww! And they all lived happily ever after!

"Behold the male beast roaring in the jungle for his mate. See how the female beast giggles behind a shrub while she organizes her voice to say 'Pardon dear, did you say something?'"~Elphaba, Wicked, pg.102-103
Inspired Wordsmith
Morigami
Posts: 1,258
Registered: ‎01-23-2010
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Re: My Name Is Not Lily

OMFG lmfao! I think I'm going to have a heart attack for how hard I am laughing xD


Blog: http://booklover-bookchicks.blogspot.com/
ALN
Wordsmith
ALN
Posts: 219
Registered: ‎07-14-2009
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Re: My Name Is Not Lily

This is hilarious! I could not stop laughing.

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. "
Distinguished Correspondent
Kyleigh
Posts: 2,580
Registered: ‎11-16-2008
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Re: My Name Is Not Lily

I haven't even read those and I was laughing my head off!  God now I have to read them to make fun of it!  XD  MORE MORE  MORE!  DO CITY OF BONES!  PPPLLLLEEEEEAAAAAAASSSSEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

"There are two types of people in this world. People who hate clowns...and clowns."
Inspired Wordsmith
Vampires-and-Spongebob
Posts: 2,368
Registered: ‎02-03-2009

Re: My Name Is Not Lily

                                                     I Still Have No Name

                                                A Mortal Instruments Chat

 

Clary: Jace, we need to have a serious talk.

 

Jace: Yes, Clary, we all know that I’m hot

 

Simon: I don’t think that was what she meant…

 

Jace: Puh-lease Simon. You know you want to rip my clothes off!

 

Simon: *gags*

 

Clary: Your so full of yourself…but you’re a$$ is hot

 

Simon: *gags more*

 

Jace: Yes, we have already established that I have a hot a$$. Now, what did you want to talk to me about?

 

Clary: Well, I think that…um…

 

Jace + Simon: WHAT?!

 

Clary: I think your in love with….

 

Simon: Himself?

 

Jace: Who?

 

Clary:…Um…Susan Boyle…

 

Jace: How did you know?!

 

Simon: I think the numerous photos of her on your walls was a hint..

 

Clary: Don’t forget about the muttering about “My sweet, sweet Boyle!”

 

Jace: Can’t a extremely hot dude appreciate nice music!?

 

Simon: Sure…but your borderline psychotic…

 

Jace: You just want her for yourself!

 

Simon: Who?

 

Jace: Susan! I knew I should have never trusted you!

 

Clary: I’m scared…I wish Valentine was here

 

*Valentine comes*

 

Simon: Speak of the Devil

 

Clary: and he shall come!

 

Valentine: Hello, my little Angel! Daddy missed you soooooo much!

 

Clary: I missed you too Daddy! Did you bring me anything?


Valentine: Why of course pumpkin! Here it is!

 

*pulls out heart of goat*

 

Clary: I love it Daddy! Kisses!

 

Jace: Did you bring me anything Daddy?

 

Valentine: Why would I? Your in love with Susan Boyle and not your sister! You are a menace to your family!

 

Jace: But Daddy! Susan seduced me with her beautiful voice!

 

Valentine: I am cutting you out of the will! No world domination for you!

 

Jace: Clary isn’t a saint either Daddy! Didn’t she tell you?

 

Valentine: Tell me what?

 

Jace: She’s pregnant!

 

Clary: Uh-oh…

 

Simon: WHAT?!

 

Jace: and guess who the father is!

 

Valentine: Who?

 

Jace: Magnus!  A wizard!

 

Valentine: *cries*

 

Jace: Daddy loves me more now! Ha ha!

 

Valentine: I am so proud of you Clary! Your sixteen and pregnant! You make me so proud!

 

Magnus: I swear I didn’t knock up Clarissa! I don’t roll that way! Besides, I’m in love with someone else…

 

Clary: You fiend! Who?!

 

Magnus: Valentine, will you marry me?

 

Valentine: Only in the state of Delaware! Can you believe it Clarissa? Your baby’s father is going to be your step-father too!

 

Clary: OMFG! Yay!

 

Simon + Jace: WTF!

 

Clary: I hope it’s a boy so we can name him Valenus!

 

Simon: OMG! That is so cute!

 

Clary: I know right?!


Jace: Am I hot?

 

Everyone: Hellz no!

 

Jace: *cries in corner*

 

"Behold the male beast roaring in the jungle for his mate. See how the female beast giggles behind a shrub while she organizes her voice to say 'Pardon dear, did you say something?'"~Elphaba, Wicked, pg.102-103
Inspired Wordsmith
Morigami
Posts: 1,258
Registered: ‎01-23-2010
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Re: My Name Is Not Lily

This is so sick BUT SO FUNNY! lmfao!


Blog: http://booklover-bookchicks.blogspot.com/
Correspondent
b00kwerm
Posts: 184
Registered: ‎11-29-2009
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Re: My Name Is Not Lily

 

Vampires-and-Spongebob wrote:

 

Voldemort: Isn’t that a spell? It was in Latin.

 

Me: Not everything in Latin is a spell. Show ‘em Sirius!

 

Sirius: Puella! *Voldemort turns into Voldemorta*

 

Me: Wait? That Actually worked? Seriously?

 

Dumbledore: It is a matter of fact that everything in Latin is a spell. As the adolescents would say now. Like duh.

 

 

 

 

OMG!!!!

 

sooo funny!!!! and so true.... my Latin class was just talking about this today!!! LMAOOOO =]

 

*P.S. Do you take Latin?

Correspondent
MilkshakeLMS
Posts: 65
Registered: ‎06-21-2009
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Re: My Name Is Not Lily

OMG how do u come up with this stuff its soo Hilarious I couldn't stop laughing from the City of Bones one I couldn't stop for like ten minutes

Inspired Scribe
djaq
Posts: 1,080
Registered: ‎02-28-2009
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Re: My Name Is Not Lily

lmao yessss

brilliant

hehe XD


************************************
"We could do pizza."
************************************
Inspired Wordsmith
Morigami
Posts: 1,258
Registered: ‎01-23-2010
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Re: My Name Is Not Lily

I was wondering if maybe I could put one about Twilight. I know most of can't stand it anymore so I thought we all just needed a laugh. If you don't want me to put the post it's fine with me =)


Blog: http://booklover-bookchicks.blogspot.com/
Distinguished Correspondent
Kyleigh
Posts: 2,580
Registered: ‎11-16-2008
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Re: My Name Is Not Lily

Hahaha!  Bring on the book chats!  :smileyvery-happy:  I enjoy them greatly.  Man I really want to continue that little snippet of Magnus and Alec with yours Montana!  :smileytongue:

"There are two types of people in this world. People who hate clowns...and clowns."
Inspired Wordsmith
Morigami
Posts: 1,258
Registered: ‎01-23-2010
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Re: My Name Is Not Lily

(Okay here goes nothing *closes eyes*)

 

Edward: La la la la.... la la la... la la la....

 

Jacob: What the hell are you doing?

 

Edward: Just swinging with by beautiful daughter, Renesmee.

 

Jacob: I can see that, but-

 

Edward: Don;t be crazy. I wasn't singing!

 

Jacob: I wasn't going to ask that. I was only going to-

 

Edward: No! I am not gay! *cries and runs towards the house*

 

Jacob: *face-palms*

 

Bella: Edward! I have horrible news for you.

 

Edward: OMG. What is it?!

 

Bella: Renesmee isn't your child. She is Jacob's.

 

*Esme, Alice, Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper run out of the house*

 

Rosalie: I'm pretty!

 

*Edaward faints*

 

Esme: Edward!

 

Alice: His is gay. Clear the area!

 

Emmett: Look at my big arms. Kiss them. Kiss them!

 

Jasper: Bella? Is is true that Renesmee is Jacob's baby?

 

Bella: Yes, Isn't it great. Now I am finally be with Jacob.

 

Jacob: Noooooooo!!!

 

*Bella runs towards Jacob and gives him a big hug*

 

Emmett: No, Bella! I love you!

 

Everyone, but Emmett and Bella: WTF?! What a world! *melts*

 

Bella: Yay! Now everyone is dead and I am be with Emmett.

 

Emmett: Kisses!

 

Rosalie: I'm still pretty!

 

(lol Okay I hope you like it)


Blog: http://booklover-bookchicks.blogspot.com/
Inspired Wordsmith
Vampires-and-Spongebob
Posts: 2,368
Registered: ‎02-03-2009

Re: My Name Is Not Lily

Voldemort: Ahem…Nerds please?

 

*no one notices*

 

Voldemort: Ahem! *cough cough* I NEED MY NERDS!

 

*All staring at magical television screen*

 

Voldemort: Abra Cadabra!

 

*Peter Pettigrew turns into a box of Nerds*

 

Ron: Looky! Looky! If it isn’t Voldy and Petey snogging!

 

Hermione: You do know that any thing that comes from Peter has rat poop in it right?

 

Voldy: I don’t give a Merlin! I need my Nerds….

 

*Swallows box*

 

Harry: OMG! We should play Truth or Dare!!!! I’ll go first! Double Dee, truth or dare?

 

Double Dee: You knowz I be down wid da dare!

 

Harry: I dare you toooooooooooooooooo……do the send Looney Lovegood back in time!

 

Double Dee: Puh-leaze. This be easy stuff, wiz! I ain’t care if I bend the space time continuum!

 

*Luna is babbling on about Red-toed Bregens….*

 

Double Dee: Faena Tima…Tom Riddle….uh….breadjrweirwn!

 

*Luna disappears in light*

 

Ron: Latin is soooooooo cool!

 

Hermione: You do know that that was NOT Latin?!

 

Ron: What?! MUMMY!

 

Molly: What’s wrong, dear?

 

Ron: Double Dee lied to me! *cries*

 

Double Dee: Whateverz yo! Back to the game! Mollz, truth or dare?!

 

Molly W: Truth! I don’t trust you Double Dee *giggles like school girl*

 

Double Dee: Are you preggo?

 

Molly W: *gasp in shock* Double Dee! How could you forget the birth of our daughter!

 

*everyone in shock*

 

Molly W: How could you ever forget about little Jacoba Edwardine Dee!


Double Dee: Oh yeah! But are you preggo?

 

Molly: I am shocked! *exits*

 

Ron: MY TURN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Harry, truth or dare?

 

Harry: Dare! You know I be not afraid of that stuff my home skillet biscuit!

 

Ron: I dare you to kill yourself!

 

Harry: *kills self*

 

Ron: *purrs to Ginny* Now your mine! MUAHAHAHAHA!

 

Ginny: FREAK! You are my brother!

 

*Molly pops in*

 

Molly: Actually, I adopted Ronald from this nice lady…I vaguely remember her telling me he was a sociopath…Oh well! And George and Fred aren’t twins! They’re half siblings…who aren’t Arthur’s….

 

Ginny: WTF!

 

Ron: Muahahahahaha!

 

Ginny: My turn then….Ron, truth or dare?

 

Ron: DARE!

 

Ginny: I dare you to kill yourself and bring Harry back to life!

 

Ron: *kills self and bring Harry back to life…*

 

Ginny: *bear hugs Harry* HARRY!!!!!! I missed you like sooooooo much!!!!!

 

Harry: I want my mummy….

 

*Meanwhile in 1940’s Hogwarts….*

 

Luna: So these little pestering people, they have a leader. Barry Plopper, I believe his name to be…He’s going to kill you! Or try at least…I haven’t read all the books…but you become all gross and ugly…like a bunny rabbit!

 

Tom: OMFG! No way! Bunnies?! That is disgusting!

 

Luna: That’s what I said!!

 

*5 hours of strange conversation later*

 

Tom: Luna Loveweird, will you take over the world…with the Snorkacks and me?

 

Luna: Of course! The gnarcles can help us!

 

*Back in the 90s*

 

Ginny: OMG! Hermione, I cannot believe you were snogging with Double Dee!

 

*Major blast interrupts game*

 

Harry: Oh, it’s just Looney Lovegood and young Tom Riddle….

 

Luna: What did you say?!

 

Harry: Uh……Mummy?

 

*10 Days of Hard Labor Later*

 

Tom: We’ve done it! We’ve taken over the world with Crayola crayons! I knew we could do it! *Hugs Luna* Thank you gurrrrrrrrl! Now that that gnarcle ate Harry, I can finally have Ginny! Muahahaha!

 

Luna: I KEEL YOU!

 

*Tom = Dead*

 

 

 

Author's Note: Everyone is welcome to do their own...P.S. I do take Latin...Lol...

"Behold the male beast roaring in the jungle for his mate. See how the female beast giggles behind a shrub while she organizes her voice to say 'Pardon dear, did you say something?'"~Elphaba, Wicked, pg.102-103
Inspired Wordsmith
Morigami
Posts: 1,258
Registered: ‎01-23-2010
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Re: My Name Is Not Lily

I laughed so much I had tears coming out of my eyes. Funniest things I have ever read people lol ever! xD


Blog: http://booklover-bookchicks.blogspot.com/
Distinguished Correspondent
Kyleigh
Posts: 2,580
Registered: ‎11-16-2008
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Re: My Name Is Not Lily

Lolz!  Those were both good!  :smileyvery-happy:  Man Montana remind me to actually do one of these soon okay?  I currently don't have time, but I shall do one!  I promise!  *laughs maniacally*

"There are two types of people in this world. People who hate clowns...and clowns."