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Contributor
TheQuietGirl
Posts: 10
Registered: ‎03-07-2011

Would you read this???

Hi everyone! I'm new at this but I'm going to give it a shot. You see, even though I love to read I want to be a writer as well. So I am going to post a quick summery and I would love to see what everyone thinks on whether you would read it, thinks it's good, etc. (BTW an Inanimas means "soul-less" in Latin and is basically the name of a demon's servant)

 

109 years ago, Ty made a choice. He sold his soul. Now he is bound the the will of James, his demon master and the vicious laws that surround his new bloody life as an Inanimas. Together they fight the terrible HellHounds who hunt them down. But after over a century of servitude, James has disappeared, and Ty must train the demon's heir, a young man named Scott, who's soul refuses to give up it's humanity.

Enter Sylvia, a girl who is key to Scott's fate and heart. But as Scott's demon heritage consumes more and more inside of him, it is clear that Sylvia is now a pawn in Scott's twisted game. The opposite is happening to Ty, who with the entrance of Sylvia into his life, is beginning to feels emotions he hasn't felt in a long time. So Ty must chose, the duty to his demonic master or to the woman he loves; whose life has become no more than a sacrifice.

 

There is a bit more to it that I left out like the demon council of Elders, the role of the HellHounds, and the importance of the sacrifice. But this gives you the gist. I hope you like it, and please respond!

Bibliophile
ZoeyRedbird
Posts: 1,067
Registered: ‎06-23-2009
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Re: Would you read this???

I really do like the sound of the whole story! It sounds really interesting and unique. I'm a little bit confused about some of it but its just a summary so that's okay. I'd love to hear more =)

"You have to dream before your dreams can come true."
Abdul Kalam
"What great thing would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?"
Robert H. Schuller

Inspired Correspondent
djamphir88
Posts: 417
Registered: ‎05-27-2010
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Re: Would you read this???

I would love to read it!!!!! Sounds interesting and hopefully it's bloody (my favorite thing by the way)!!!!!! I would love to read more, great summary to attract a reader's attention!!!!!!  I also love the idea of a Demon Master and sold souls!!!!!!

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HungerGamesPerson
Posts: 611
Registered: ‎01-09-2011
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Re: Would you read this???

Sounds good!

Nick;

I could not disagree with you more!! I hope it does't get bloody  :smileysad:!

Of course I like detective tv shows where sombody always gets killed so......

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.
Mother Teresa
For it is in giving that we receive.
Francis of Assisi










Bibliophile
ZoeyRedbird
Posts: 1,067
Registered: ‎06-23-2009
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Re: Would you read this???

Good thing there is going to be a little bit of love going on! Blood is okay as long as there is love along with it! =)

"You have to dream before your dreams can come true."
Abdul Kalam
"What great thing would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?"
Robert H. Schuller

Distinguished Wordsmith
SaraMariaa
Posts: 258
Registered: ‎01-23-2010
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Re: Would you read this???

I would totally read it!!! Its sounds really good :smileyhappy:

“The books that help you the most are those which make you think the most.”
Inspired Correspondent
djamphir88
Posts: 417
Registered: ‎05-27-2010

Re: Would you read this???

Jake

Me too, I love mysteries were there is blood all over the place and the body is gone!!!!!!! It's a WTFudge kind of deal!!!!!

 

Zoey

Having love parts every once and awhile is okay, but blood everywhere is better!!!! And you can quote me on that!!!!!!:smileyvery-happy:

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Inspired Contributor
CrabbyCat
Posts: 202
Registered: ‎05-04-2010
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Re: Would you read this???

This sounds really interesting...I would definitely read it!

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Contributor
TheQuietGirl
Posts: 10
Registered: ‎03-07-2011
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Re: Would you read this???

Yay! I'm so glad people like it! I love to make up story ideas but writing them is the hard part. I only have one chapter finished. And to those who are wondering...

Yes, there is quite a bit of blood. ; )

What would a book about demons, stolen souls, sacrifice, HellHounds, true love and death be without it?:smileytongue:

Just so you know I thought of a title: The Kill (Partly because it goes with the book, and partly because it is the name of my favorite song by 30 Seconds to Mars, which just happens to have something to do with the book)

Inspired Correspondent
djamphir88
Posts: 417
Registered: ‎05-27-2010
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Re: Would you read this???

QuietGirl

Oh yeah I love The Kill, by 30 sec to Mars!!!!!! Thats some good music!!!!!!!

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SandraPants
Posts: 748
Registered: ‎12-08-2010
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Re: Would you read this???

I like all the ideas you have to create this realistic fantasy world.  You don't even have to describe Hellhounds for people to know they're scary!

Spelling is for "loosers."
http://sandrathenookworm.blogspot.com/
Distinguished Wordsmith
BeeZnEEz101
Posts: 494
Registered: ‎03-11-2009

Re: Would you read this???

Write it! It's a little too much for me. I read the summary 2 times and I honestly don't know what it's about sorry :smileyhappy:. But write it because it sounds like a book that people would enjoy.

Contributor
TheQuietGirl
Posts: 10
Registered: ‎03-07-2011

Re: Would you read this???

I understand how you don't really get it. There is so much that happens in the story that for the summery I tried to only put the general idea in. This is what it is really all about...

 

A guy named Ty has been serving a demon for over a hundred years. This demon disapears, only telling Ty that his son, a boy named Scott, is turning sixteen (the time when Scott will progressivly turn more demonic) and that Ty needs to train him. Ty is not very happy about this because he is trying to kill a pack of HellHounds lead by a Hound named Evander, and doesn't want to waste this time training some boy. But Scott comes anyway and after the boy gets in the middel of a fight between Ty and the Hounds, Ty explains to him what he is.

(They start training blah blah blah) (Scott constantly annoys Ty blah blah blah)

One day Scott meets a girl named Sylvia and Ty at first wants to break them up but doesn't because Ty comes up with a plan to use her to fully turn Scott into a demon. More stuff happens as Scott starts to lose his humanity and Ty starts to feel his as he starts to fall for Sylvia even thought she is dating Scott and Scott is head over heels for her(That is untill he starts to get massive mood swings and turns more and more violent) This all leads to an explosion of awesomeness at the end when Ty kicks demon butt...but pays the ultimate sacrifice...dun dun DUNNN!

 

...wow.. this had turned quiet long. I am going to shut up now.:smileyhappy:

Distinguished Scribe
SandraPants
Posts: 748
Registered: ‎12-08-2010

Re: Would you read this???

It sounds like you got all the basics for a great story: conflict, obstacles, great characters, interesting settings and a nice concept (I personally like stories with demons ever since The Bartimaeus Trilogy, so I would read it if it were available to read.  :smileyhappy:

Spelling is for "loosers."
http://sandrathenookworm.blogspot.com/
Bibliophile
ZoeyRedbird
Posts: 1,067
Registered: ‎06-23-2009
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Re: Would you read this???

It sounds super interesting Quiet girl! I understand it now a lot better too! =) Can't wait to read it once you write it!

"You have to dream before your dreams can come true."
Abdul Kalam
"What great thing would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?"
Robert H. Schuller

New User
iamboss
Posts: 1
Registered: ‎03-12-2011
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Re: Would you read this???

Honestly.. no i wouldn't

Bibliophile
ZoeyRedbird
Posts: 1,067
Registered: ‎06-23-2009

Re: Would you read this???

I still think this is a very good idea for a story! And Quiet Girl I wanna hear more about it =)

 

I just couldn't let this thread end on a bad note =)

"You have to dream before your dreams can come true."
Abdul Kalam
"What great thing would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?"
Robert H. Schuller

Contributor
TheQuietGirl
Posts: 10
Registered: ‎03-07-2011
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Re: Would you read this???

Thanks for the support! I was thinking about posting the first chapter here for anyone who wants to read it but I'm kind of scared. I have never had a writing class in my life and I am just in High School so I can already see people bashing about all the mistakes. But since you think it is a good story I will give it a try.:smileyhappy:

Contributor
TheQuietGirl
Posts: 10
Registered: ‎03-07-2011
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Re: Would you read this???

Okay I posted it! It is titled "A Teen Writer Needs Your Opinion!" on either the teen reads page or the Writing Room. Man, I hope people like it! ...or at least don't completly hate it.

New User
Neeneelee
Posts: 1
Registered: ‎03-28-2011
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Re: Would you read this???

If I was any other person I probably read it since it a good thriller on the other hand I promise myself I stay away from demon stories. But the summary was overall good. :smileyhappy: