Daniel and Clair

[becke_davis]

What motivated Daniel to stay with Clair for all of those years? Do you think his bouts of depression stemmed from a difficult home situation, or did he have larger issues?

Should he have taken his daughter and left his wife - for Helen's sake, if not his own - or did he do the right thing by taking care of his wife, so that she wouldn't have to be in an institution? How much do we owe to those we love or have married?

[suetu]

Speaking as a 38-year-old woman who's never come near an alter, I've spent a lot of time thinking about couples like Daniel & Clair. (In other words, "How can people THAT screwed up find someone and I can't?" )

I've come to the conclusion--after witnessing unions like this fist-hand--that sometimes very damaged people find each other. And when they come together, in some way, they're a perfect match. Well, perfect may be taking it too far, but these people complement each other in some way and fulfill needs that each has.

Personally, I believe they loved each other. And I don't think Daniel was anywhere he didn't want to be. Possibly he needed the drama or Clair's dependence. Who knows? Trust me, I've seen stranger relationships. However, it seems obvious the relationship and various issues of the parents did a lot of damage to Helen. Maybe it would have been better for Daniel to remover her from the environment, but I don't believe he was capable of doing so.

Message Edited by suetu on 11-08-2007 09:54 AM

Message Edited by suetu on 11-08-2007 09:55 AM

[becke_davis]

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suetu wrote:
Speaking as a 38-year-old woman who's never come near an alter, I've spent a lot of time thinking about couples like Daniel & Clair. (In other words, "How can people THAT screwed up find someone and I can't?" )

I've come to the conclusion--after witnessing unions like this fist-hand--that sometimes very damaged people find each other. And when they come together, in some way, they're a perfect match. Well, perfect may be taking it too far, but these people complement each other in some way and fulfill needs that each has.

Personally, I believe they loved each other. And I don't think Daniel was anywhere he didn't want to be. Possibly he needed the drama or Clair's dependence. Who knows? Trust me, I've seen stranger relationships. However, it seems obvious the relationship and various issues of the parents did a lot of damage to Helen. Maybe it would have been better for Daniel to remover her from the environment, but I don't believe he was capable of doing so.

Message Edited by suetu on 11-08-2007 09:54 AM

Message Edited by suetu on 11-08-2007 09:55 AM

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I have to say, if I read a book like this as a person who hasn't been married before, I think I would be counting my blessings! Of course, this book is not exactly an ad for Happy Families, either.