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becke_davis
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How far should a person go in the name of love?

This question, on several levels, seems to be the theme of this book, along with the choices that run parallel to the question.

While we don't come to the "choice" of the title until more than halfway into the book, the whole relationship between the main characters is based on a series of choices that could bring them closer together or put them on completely separate paths.

I particularly liked this line:

"He was so different from her, yet in his presence she felt the possibility of another kind of life. . ."

Isn't love always a series of choices and of possibilities? Isn't life the same?

And, without spoiling the ending, how far SHOULD a person go in the name of love? This question could go in a couple of directions. For instance, who decides on the limits of love? What if the other person in the relationship doesn't agree, or even reciprocate? Pushing limits might lead to stalking, or abuse, or worse. But you can't move ahead without taking risks and making difficult choices. This book takes us in one direction -- have any of you faced other hard choices, similar or not?
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Jody1S
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Re: How far should a person go in the name of love?

The timing of this book was right on for me. The whole theme, choices, is something that's going on my life and made me sit down and reflect on the choices I've made and the choices I need to make. It's funny, because I am a grown woman and here I am finding answers in a romance novel.

The question - have any of you faced other hard choices, similar or not

I don't want to say too much about the book because I'm not sure where everyone is at in their reading, and I tell you, I'm one of those people who forces herself not to go to the back and read a couple of lines....i was good this time, I only jumped ahead and read a couple of words and then flipped back, so I didn't figure it out too soon...lol

I have made many choices in my life, as i'm sure everyone here has, but one came to mind while i was reading this book. I remember a choice i made long ago when I was engaged to be married. My long time boyfriend from high school had got in contact with me and I went out with him once, even though i was engaged. I loved this guy so much, and even to this day I still think about him. After 29 yrs I saw him at a store and my heart stopped....but that's another story...lol


He professed his love for me and wanted me to be his wife. The way I felt when I was with him was as if I were in a dream, but I felt guilty because I had already promised to marry someone else. I chose to honor my commitment and I let him go. It was a hard decision to make, but I felt I had no other choice. In the end I didn't marry the guy, another long story, but because of that my life went in a different direction.

Anyway, the choice that I made back then was wrong, and to this day I wonder what would have happend had I made a different decision.

I hope I didn't bore ya'll with one of my little life stories, but I didn't know whether I should comment too much on the book. I don't want to ruin the end for ya'll.


Jody
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becke_davis
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Re: How far should a person go in the name of love?



Jody1S wrote:
The timing of this book was right on for me. The whole theme, choices, is something that's going on my life and made me sit down and reflect on the choices I've made and the choices I need to make. It's funny, because I am a grown woman and here I am finding answers in a romance novel.

The question - have any of you faced other hard choices, similar or not

I don't want to say too much about the book because I'm not sure where everyone is at in their reading, and I tell you, I'm one of those people who forces herself not to go to the back and read a couple of lines....i was good this time, I only jumped ahead and read a couple of words and then flipped back, so I didn't figure it out too soon...lol

I have made many choices in my life, as i'm sure everyone here has, but one came to mind while i was reading this book. I remember a choice i made long ago when I was engaged to be married. My long time boyfriend from high school had got in contact with me and I went out with him once, even though i was engaged. I loved this guy so much, and even to this day I still think about him. After 29 yrs I saw him at a store and my heart stopped....but that's another story...lol


He professed his love for me and wanted me to be his wife. The way I felt when I was with him was as if I were in a dream, but I felt guilty because I had already promised to marry someone else. I chose to honor my commitment and I let him go. It was a hard decision to make, but I felt I had no other choice. In the end I didn't marry the guy, another long story, but because of that my life went in a different direction.

Anyway, the choice that I made back then was wrong, and to this day I wonder what would have happend had I made a different decision.

I hope I didn't bore ya'll with one of my little life stories, but I didn't know whether I should comment too much on the book. I don't want to ruin the end for ya'll.


Jody




Just post a spoiler warning if you're going to mention something. Wow, it sounds like you could write an interesting book based on your own experiences. This must have hit a little too close to home for you. Did it help you relate, or did it make it uncomfortable for you?
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Jody1S
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Re: How far should a person go in the name of love?

Thanks for the tip. I'm pretty new to the book club thing. Usually I just go in and read the posts and never post myself, so I'll make sure I put a big spoiler alert at the beginning of my post if I feel it might ruin someone's reading.

As far as being able to relate to the book or whether it made me uncomfortable, the answer is that I did relate very much to this story. Although, the choice that Travis had to make was not a choice I've ever had to confront in my own life, it did make me think about how I would have reacted in the same situation. I think that anyone who reads this novel can relate to it at some level. We all are faced with choices in our lives and we all make decisions that either effect us positively or negatively, but in the end it's up to us to live with the outcome whether it be good or bad.

As far as me being able to write an interesting book about my life experiences, I'm working on that.....lol

Jody
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becke_davis
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Re: How far should a person go in the name of love?



Jody1S wrote:
Thanks for the tip. I'm pretty new to the book club thing. Usually I just go in and read the posts and never post myself, so I'll make sure I put a big spoiler alert at the beginning of my post if I feel it might ruin someone's reading.

As far as being able to relate to the book or whether it made me uncomfortable, the answer is that I did relate very much to this story. Although, the choice that Travis had to make was not a choice I've ever had to confront in my own life, it did make me think about how I would have reacted in the same situation. I think that anyone who reads this novel can relate to it at some level. We all are faced with choices in our lives and we all make decisions that either effect us positively or negatively, but in the end it's up to us to live with the outcome whether it be good or bad.

As far as me being able to write an interesting book about my life experiences, I'm working on that.....lol

Jody




I've never had to deal with anything like this, but when my husband's mother suffered from a series of strokes a few years ago, it was very much on our minds. For awhile she was practically vegetative, but he said in her eyes he could see terror, panic. We were saying that to us, the thought of being trapped inside your mind, unable to communicate would be much more horrifying than the thought of dying.
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kiakar
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Re: How far should a person go in the name of love?



Jody1S wrote:
Thanks for the tip. I'm pretty new to the book club thing. Usually I just go in and read the posts and never post myself, so I'll make sure I put a big spoiler alert at the beginning of my post if I feel it might ruin someone's reading.

As far as being able to relate to the book or whether it made me uncomfortable, the answer is that I did relate very much to this story. Although, the choice that Travis had to make was not a choice I've ever had to confront in my own life, it did make me think about how I would have reacted in the same situation. I think that anyone who reads this novel can relate to it at some level. We all are faced with choices in our lives and we all make decisions that either effect us positively or negatively, but in the end it's up to us to live with the outcome whether it be good or bad.

As far as me being able to write an interesting book about my life experiences, I'm working on that.....lol

Jody




Wow! that is great, Jody! You are writing your memoir. That is super. Hope I get to read it.
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becke_davis
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Re: How far should a person go in the name of love?



kiakar wrote:


Jody1S wrote:
Thanks for the tip. I'm pretty new to the book club thing. Usually I just go in and read the posts and never post myself, so I'll make sure I put a big spoiler alert at the beginning of my post if I feel it might ruin someone's reading.

As far as being able to relate to the book or whether it made me uncomfortable, the answer is that I did relate very much to this story. Although, the choice that Travis had to make was not a choice I've ever had to confront in my own life, it did make me think about how I would have reacted in the same situation. I think that anyone who reads this novel can relate to it at some level. We all are faced with choices in our lives and we all make decisions that either effect us positively or negatively, but in the end it's up to us to live with the outcome whether it be good or bad.

As far as me being able to write an interesting book about my life experiences, I'm working on that.....lol

Jody




Wow! that is great, Jody! You are writing your memoir. That is super. Hope I get to read it.




Yes, Jody -- at least you know where to tell people about your book when you finish writing it!
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Jody1S
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Re: How far should a person go in the name of love?

That is so nice of you two to say that you'd consider reading my writing. There's just something about the way Sparks writes that inspires me, and everytime I finish one of his novels I am full of ideas and am filled with a sense that I can actually do this. Of course, I would love to be published one day, but what would be the most rewarding for me would to have someone read my novel and enjoy it from beginning to end. Who knows what could happen.

So I've been thinking about this book quite a bit, and sometimes I think I'm a little nuts for doing so......lol. So who is your favorite character in the book...Travis, Gabby, or Stephanie. I would say that if I had to choose I would say Stephanie.......I enjoyed her character. She was confident, funny, outspoken, and very loving toward Gabby and her brother, Travis. If you think about it she also was a big part in the story, and showed another type of unconditional love. The way she stood by her brother and was there for him no matter what his choice would be. The way she loved Gabby from the beginning. She was a pretty good character I'd say.

Jody
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becke_davis
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Re: Jody's book

[ Edited ]

Jody1S wrote:
That is so nice of you two to say that you'd consider reading my writing. There's just something about the way Sparks writes that inspires me, and everytime I finish one of his novels I am full of ideas and am filled with a sense that I can actually do this. Of course, I would love to be published one day, but what would be the most rewarding for me would to have someone read my novel and enjoy it from beginning to end. Who knows what could happen.

So I've been thinking about this book quite a bit, and sometimes I think I'm a little nuts for doing so......lol. So who is your favorite character in the book...Travis, Gabby, or Stephanie. I would say that if I had to choose I would say Stephanie.......I enjoyed her character. She was confident, funny, outspoken, and very loving toward Gabby and her brother, Travis. If you think about it she also was a big part in the story, and showed another type of unconditional love. The way she stood by her brother and was there for him no matter what his choice would be. The way she loved Gabby from the beginning. She was a pretty good character I'd say.

Jody




I think you would find a lot of people who follow these book clubs would be interested in your book. Go for it! They say everyone has one book inside them, and so many people want to be writers. With the technology available today, you are no longer at the mercy of big, anonymous publishers -- you can self-publish online, and some of those books turn out to be very successful. It's no longer considered second-class publishing, either -- the quality of the product (the way the book looks, the covers, the paper quality) is so much better than what it used to be, that some people self-publish just so they can control the editing and the end product (how the book looks, the typeface, etc.). The hard part, of course, is facing those blank pages and making yourself write!

Message Edited by becke_davis on 10-03-2007 10:55 AM
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kiakar
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Re: How far should a person go in the name of love?

Yes, Jody, what Becke says is so true. That is how we find so many great books to read now because of these online book clubs. I would personally read your memoir, you never know when you will discover great books that you would have missed with the old way of publishing.
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Jody1S
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Re: How far should a person go in the name of love?

Well, thanks a lot you guys. I feel even more inspired now to continue the dream of actually completing a novel. Even though I always start out writing from my personal experiences, I tend to want to change the endings somewhat to maybe a little more of a happy ending.....lol Not that my life now is not happy......it just doesn't always work out the way we all want, a fairy tale type of ending, so to speak. Although, there is something to be said about a realistic tragic ending that is always a good ending as well.

Jody
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kiakar
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Re: How far should a person go in the name of love?



Jody1S wrote:
Well, thanks a lot you guys. I feel even more inspired now to continue the dream of actually completing a novel. Even though I always start out writing from my personal experiences, I tend to want to change the endings somewhat to maybe a little more of a happy ending.....lol Not that my life now is not happy......it just doesn't always work out the way we all want, a fairy tale type of ending, so to speak. Although, there is something to be said about a realistic tragic ending that is always a good ending as well.

Jody





You know, Jody, sometimes we think our lives will be dull to other people because we are living them and do not look on them as exciting or interesting. But someone elses life is interesting because its an entirely new experience to us! So get busy and write it! ha.
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kiakar
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Re: How far should a person go in the name of love?



becke_davis wrote:
This question, on several levels, seems to be the theme of this book, along with the choices that run parallel to the question.

While we don't come to the "choice" of the title until more than halfway into the book, the whole relationship between the main characters is based on a series of choices that could bring them closer together or put them on completely separate paths.

I particularly liked this line:

"He was so different from her, yet in his presence she felt the possibility of another kind of life. . ."

Isn't love always a series of choices and of possibilities? Isn't life the same?

And, without spoiling the ending, how far SHOULD a person go in the name of love? This question could go in a couple of directions. For instance, who decides on the limits of love? What if the other person in the relationship doesn't agree, or even reciprocate? Pushing limits might lead to stalking, or abuse, or worse. But you can't move ahead without taking risks and making difficult choices. This book takes us in one direction -- have any of you faced other hard choices, similar or not?




Isn't it puzzling to really comprehend what love is ? Is that our problem when we say how far should we go for love? We are not certain of the strength of our love for a person, maybe. But who really knows how to define love. It is not the same for everyone, right. What defines love. With your children, love means sacrificing yourself and everything for their Health,security, safety and so forth. But still we do things we do not wish to do, lay down punishments, insist they do things they do not like for their own good. But the love of a mate, is it that different! If you really love that person, with all your soul then wouldn't you sacrifice as much for them. If they wanted something that wasn't in their best interest, you would defy them, wouldn't you? We are all selfish at times, but if our main focus in being in love with your mate, then you will consider their wishes but then weigh the consequences of y our actions if you gave them what they wanted. Answers to these promises should never come impulsively or with not alot of thought.
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kiakar
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Re: How far should a person go in the name of love?


becke_davis wrote:
This question, on several levels, seems to be the theme of this book, along with the choices that run parallel to the question.

While we don't come to the "choice" of the title until more than halfway into the book, the whole relationship between the main characters is based on a series of choices that could bring them closer together or put them on completely separate paths.

I particularly liked this line:

"He was so different from her, yet in his presence she felt the possibility of another kind of life. . ."

Isn't love always a series of choices and of possibilities? Isn't life the same?

And, without spoiling the ending, how far SHOULD a person go in the name of love? This question could go in a couple of directions. For instance, who decides on the limits of love? What if the other person in the relationship doesn't agree, or even reciprocate? Pushing limits might lead to stalking, or abuse, or worse. But you can't move ahead without taking risks and making difficult choices. This book takes us in one direction -- have any of you faced other hard choices, similar or not?




Isn't it puzzling to really comprehend what love is ? Is that our problem when we say how far should we go for love? We are not certain of the strength of our love for a person, maybe. But who really knows how to define love. It is not the same for everyone, right. What defines love. With your children, love means sacrificing yourself and everything for their Health,security, safety and so forth. But still we do things we do not wish to do, lay down punishments, insist they do things they do not like for their own good. But the love of a mate, is it that different! If you really love that person, with all your soul then wouldn't you sacrifice as much for them. If they wanted something that wasn't in their best interest, you would defy them, wouldn't you? We are all selfish at times, but if our main focus in being in love with your mate, then you will consider their wishes but then weigh the consequences of y our actions if you gave them what they wanted. Answers to these promises should never come impulsively or with not alot of thought.
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datsme
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Re: How far should a person go in the name of love?

Ok Jody,
You need to write that book because after reading your posts regarding your own personal choice, I'm captivated! Some of the best novels (and non-fiction as well) have been written based on personal experience or fictionalized accounts of people in the author's life (The Notebook, The Kite Runner, etc.).
Good luck!
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Jody1S
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Re: How far should a person go in the name of love?



datsme wrote:
Ok Jody,
You need to write that book because after reading your posts regarding your own personal choice, I'm captivated! Some of the best novels (and non-fiction as well) have been written based on personal experience or fictionalized accounts of people in the author's life (The Notebook, The Kite Runner, etc.).
Good luck!





Thank you so much, Datsme. It is so nice and very inspiring to hear someone who is interested in what you have to write. Lately I have lost touch of that fact. Thinking that my life isn't so interesting for even a novel idea.....lol...but more and more I am going to gather my thoughts and get it down. Maybe even more than one since I've had more than one love/lost type of relationship...the countdown is three now........lol who knows what could happen.

Jody
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datsme
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Re: How far should a person go in the name of love?

Make sure to keep this book group in mind and invite us to your book signing in Corpus Christi! :-)
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Jody1S
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Re: How far should a person go in the name of love?

funny, datsme
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