Today he brings NOOK Blog readers the Top 3 Habits for Better Communication:
Practice Deep Listening:
Listen without interrupting and with only one intention—to help the other person suffer less. The other person may say things that are full of wrong perceptions, bitterness, accusation, and blaming. Remember that the other person’s speech may be based on prejudices and misunderstandings. Say to yourself as a reminder:
I am listening to this person with only one purpose: to give this person a chance to suffer less.
Train Yourself in Loving Speech:
Loving, truthful speech can bring a lot of joy and peace to people. But producing loving speech takes practice because we aren’t used to it. Spend some time each day—even if it’s only five or ten minutes—to practice these four trainings in right speech:
- Tell the truth
- Don’t exaggerate
- Be consistent
- Use peaceful language
Remember the Cake in the Refrigerator:
This practice was developed to help children deal with their parents’ arguing, but it can also be used by adults in a relationship. When the atmosphere becomes unpleasant, breathe in and out three times to give yourself courage. Then turn to the person or people who seem upset and say, “I remember that we have a cake in the refrigerator.” This really means: “Please, let’s not make each other suffer anymore.” Both parties can practice breathing while they “take out the cake,” and even smile as a way to feel lighter in body and spirit. This is a nonjudgmental way out of a dangerous situation, and offers an opportunity to withdraw from the disagreement without causing more tension.
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