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Help needed
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04-20-2007 04:44 PM
In my first scene between the H and h, she feels strong attraction towards him.
He, on the other hand, thinks she is just like all the other glamorous but boring women who have come and gone in his life. (She's not being herself but is all glammed up on the advice of her friends, so his feelings will change as he gets to know what she's really like.) But for the moment, he feels only indifference.
My problem is:
1)I want to write part of this meeting in H POV, so how on earth do I get some sexual tension into the scene, when he isn't immediately attracted?
To make matters worse it's a meal scene (one of those static situations Leigh mentioned in the 'How's the plot going?' thread) but I'm hoping that with a bit of advice I can make it work.
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04-20-2007 05:01 PM
Could it be as simple as having another man at the table flirting with her? Let your hero assume she is looking for that kind of attention and comment on it? I don't know. It isn't a great idea. It would either condemn her further in his eyes for being a flirt or prompt him to look more closely. A third option is rescue with the other man becoming inappropriate, but i hate that device.
good luck.
Then bloody swords and armor should not be:" Thomas Campion
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04-20-2007 09:57 PM
Or, you could have her pull a Calisto Flockart and dump a drink on him. That swift move did get her Harrison Ford.
How's that?
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04-20-2007 10:00 PM
Then bloody swords and armor should not be:" Thomas Campion
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04-21-2007 02:53 AM
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04-21-2007 06:16 AM - edited 04-21-2007 06:16 AM
Yes! That's it, Christine. Thank you so much for that. Off to layer that ito my scene. He'll gets glimpses of thing that are at odds with the way she's dressed. He's about to be intrigued, surprised, drawn.
"I think in her place I'd be fiddling with the facade, touching my hair to see if it's still in the right place, smudging my make up because I'm not used to wearing so much, tugging my dress because it feels alien."
Christine, you're so good! I love this.
Message Edited by Ch-Janet on 04-21-200706:19 AM
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04-21-2007 07:37 AM
The chap in front of the hero chats the heroine up and asks for her phone number she says no, but he keeps on, so she writes the phone no down & he goes away happy.
Then it's the hero's turn to be served by her and he says something about her giving him the phone number and she says yes, she just hopes he likes listening to the Winnipeg Telephone Weather Service!
Like Christine says, she's given him some witty, funny, personality that can really attract him!
Lynne.
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04-21-2007 09:50 AM - edited 04-21-2007 09:50 AM
That scene between Kurt and Lissa is quite short, I seem to remember. He watches her for a few minutes, concludes she's shrewd and calculating and the type to lead men on for her own ends. Then after he's left her he realises she's given him the GET LOST number and this subtle put-down sparks his interest.
Maybe my scene is too long and I should quickly move on to the action that sparks my H's interest. I do have an action but leading up to that I wanted something to add sexual tension to their interaction.Maybe it needs to be something like Kurt's sensation that the room has heated up after seeing Lissa smile?
Message Edited by Ch-Janet on 04-21-200709:51 AM
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04-21-2007 10:34 AM
It'll be interesting to see what the others have to say.
Lynne.
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04-21-2007 10:35 AM
But that's not necessarily a matter of thinking "Boy, she's hot." It can be annoyance, respect, fear, suspicion ... just on a level way above how they react to others.
Here's the way I presented my hero in A CONVENIENT AFFAIR:
~~~~~
Until that morning, Hannah had started to think it didn't matter what hour of the day or night she walked Mrs. Patterson's dog. If she abruptly decided to take Brutus out at two o'clock in the morning, she'd no doubt still run headlong into Cooper Winston somewhere along the way....
Today, however, the chain appeared to have been broken. She and Brutus had gone all the way from Barron's Court up Grand Avenue to the governor's mansion and back ... But for once Hannah hadn't caught so much as a glimpse of a dark-haired, gray-eyed, broad-shouldered, supercilious six-foot hunk of testosterone named Cooper Winston.
~~~~~~
Okay, he's not even THERE and she's so aware of him she's sizzling. She can't walk outside her door without looking for him. Is she attracted? You betcha -- but she doesn't know it yet; she thinks (and she has reason to think) that she's just as ticked off at him as he is at her.
There's more in Creating Romantic Characters, where I've put in the full opening scene and also a parallel scene from the ending. (page 168-173.)
Think awareness, and that will help with sensual tension. What does he notice about her?
Happy writing,
Leigh
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04-21-2007 11:00 AM
Then bloody swords and armor should not be:" Thomas Campion
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04-21-2007 11:05 AM
Thanks Leigh.
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04-21-2007 12:28 PM - edited 04-21-2007 12:28 PM
But that's not necessarily a matter of thinking "Boy, she's hot." It can be annoyance, respect, fear, suspicion ... just on a level way above how they react to others."
Thank you so much for that,Leigh. I hadn't understood that awareness thing at all. I always associated sexual tension with obvious attraction. I'm so pleased I asked that question! I'll heighten the awareness if there's no attraction yet, but first I must copy and paste what you said an then read p168 etc in creating Romantic Characters.
Message Edited by Ch-Janet on 04-21-200712:29 PM
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04-29-2007 12:35 AM
I just read over what you said in the last post again and it reminded me of a girl my husband saw on the subway. Not his type at all, but she spent 20 minutes (he timed it) messing with her eyelashes. He certainly noticed her.
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08-04-2007 02:53 AM
Love/Hate two sides of one coin or some such thing.
Sexual tension can be expressed in argument. Haven't you read Pride & Prejudice? TONS of romantic tension simmering under the surface. They argue they get to know each other and soo your hero finds out she is not a bobble head. Thats when things get interesting! He was a jerk maybe he even made the Darcy insult saying she was, "Not pretty enough to tempt me." Now he has to work hard to prove himself.
Eating....okay formal setting. Does she know the salad fork from the dinner fork? Darcy notices she has an appetite. She likes meat. I dont know go with it. Dinner conversation. Good time to introduce characters what do they do.
Play with it
I am a sucker for Darcy, but hey its your story.
Aspen
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10-19-2007 01:35 PM
my suggestion is: if this is a meal scene then you can seat them near each other but not next to each other - put a seat between them - and force him to overhear the conversation that she is taking part of. Make her laugh in a genuine matter to grab his attention. If she is all glammed up and that's not who she really is than you need to give her depth, intelligence is a great way to do it. Make her comment on a political situation that he feels strongly about, he should become intrigued that someone like her could be interesting to talk to or even have something interesting to say. It might be to early for sexual tension since he isn't even interested in her, but it sounds like the perfect time to peak his interest and develop a hard core lust based on the whole package and not just the wrapping.
Good luck, look forward to reading how it turns out.