Love scene dilemma- Help!

[dixielandgrl]

I started to ask this question in a regular thread and then realized that you have to read it to understand the question entirely.

So here is my question: What level of intensity is right between two characters and when? I try to avoid anything before chapter three in the way of physical encounters. However, Chapter 2 here is moving that along. It feels right, but I don't trust the feeling. I know there is a psychology for love scenes, but is there also a rule of thumb about when and how much?

I want to reveal a certain hardness to Gwen here all mixed up in the confusion. I wanted it to illustrate their differences in spite of the fireworks. One of those encounters where they are farther apart after than they were. Am I thinking about this too much?

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Gwen started making sandwiches. It was approaching noon. She filled a picnic basket she found and started for the barn. As she walked, a black cat heavy with pregnancy trailed her smelling the basket. The huge barn was gloomy and dark, but she heard a single hammer tapping in the far rafters. There were two empty stalls and hay in the east corner. The smell of tractor grease made the air pungent.

“Mike? Are you alone out here?”, she called out.

“Yeah!”, he shouted, “I’ll be down in a sec.”

She waited swinging the basket lightly. She heard the ladder creak.

“Where did the crew go?”, she asked.

“I told them to take an early lunch. They were out here working at 6. Whatcha got there?”. Smiling, he grabbed the basket.

“I overdid it thinking you had a crew to feed.”, she said.

“Oh, that’s marvelous.”, he said. Mike removed the bottled water and a sandwich before he plopped down on a workbench. He ate like a man starving in the dessert.

“Hungry, huh?”

Gwen smiled at him, as she moved to the door.

“Where you going?”, he asked. His voice was soft and low. Gwen felt it all the way to her abdomen. She put a hand there.

Clearing her throat, she said, “I thought I’d do some housework before I get Lil.” She raised her eyebrows when she turned around seeing him polish off the last bite of a ham sandwich. “Do you always eat like that? You’re going to ruin your digestive tract. You should chew.”

“I guess I do when I’m working. Do you care a lot? About my digestive tract?”. He guzzled the water.

Gwen floundered for a response moving over to him. She must have offended somewhere, overstepped.

“No, I care about health and diet. It’s a lifestyle thing, I suppose.”

“Well, you certainly are healthy.”, he jumped down. His eyes were on the cat at her feet. “Speaking of that, I’m...” He looked up.

“We may have a problem. I’m finding myself very attracted to you.” He searched her eyes. She knew all he’d find was a woman flabbergasted.

“You are?”

“I thought I should tell you. I mean, you’re living here. Things happen. I wouldn’t want to take advantage.”

“You couldn’t.”, she said flatly.

“I’m not a saint, Gwen. Like right now, for instance. I want to kiss you. I won’t, but it could happen.”

She shook her head. Her ears were buzzing. “No, you misunderstand. You couldn’t take advantage of me. I can kick your ass. I’ve had training. ” She said it factually, informatively.

“We don’t have a problem.”, she continued, “Because if you ever get close enough to kiss me, it’s because I want you to kiss me. Okay?”

Good God, she felt the attraction. She couldn’t get involved, but, if that rule was ever going to be broken, this guy could be the one to break it.

Mike moved a little closer. “How close is close enough? You think I can get there?”

She breathed in. “Mike. Stand down. I’m Lil’s nanny.” His daughter’s name worked like a charm. “I find you attractive, but I wouldn’t want to confuse her either. I know you don’t. We can resist it. It’s not bigger than that, is it?”

Mike had turned toward the work bench. His jaw tight, he told her, “It’s pretty damn big.”

She smiled and put a hand on his shoulder. “Mike, you are a great dad. You’re always going to think of Lil first. I believe that.”

He turned smoky eyes on her, and she lost it. All those good intentions out the window. Then he had her. He didn’t just kiss. He devoured her like one of those sandwiches, like he would always be hungry. Gwen opened her own mouth to get closer. She ran the tip of her tongue across his teeth. The whole time the voice in her head shouted, “Stop it!”

She would never stop it. That crap about being able to kick his ass was all a lie. She could, but she wouldn’t. She wanted him. If she’d had the illusion of control before, it was gone now. Gwen reminded herself that she may very well be here to destroy his life. That helped.

She tugged and pushed, till he let go. “I’m sorry.”

He had her arm as she pulled away, then her hand.”I’m sorry.” Gwen ran. She ran for the house and hid from herself, as well as from Mike.

She had to focus on Lil’s well-being. Eventually, Uncle Luc would know about her, and Gwen just didn’t know what that meant for the little girl. She only knew that Lil had walked into her heart and moved in. She couldn’t let the father do the same.

[lavenderlass]

I think that reads great dixie, I reckon you could include more of her harness all the way through if that's how you want her to come over. I wasn't quite sure who Uncle Luc was, and the reference to her father at the end, but that's probably because it's only an except. Lynne.

[dixielandgrl]

But do you think it's too soon to start with the kissy bits? I've been trying to hold off on the physical till later in the chapters, but I liked the kiss here. This is only in chapter two, so it may be moving way too fast. What do you think?

[LeighMichaels]

Depends on what else is happening. If there's a really, really strong conflict and good tension between them, then the "kissy bits" will build the sensual tension. But if they're getting along pretty well and we're fairly sure that it's only a misunderstanding or they're really on the same wavelength once he/she gets over not wanting a relationship, then the early "kissy bits" don't build tension and the reader starts remembering that she's got to go to work tomorrow or finish the laundry or whatever.

So it's a really an "it depends" kind of situation.

Sorry not to be more helpful.

Leigh

[dixielandgrl]

Leigh, lol

I should have seen it coming. Timing isn't staged in real life, Why would it be in novels? I have gotten some great help with my Abby story! Someone who just hit the nail on the head. I am so excited. Now I can finish the first one and I have three great new chapters. I think that's a good system for me.

Clay had become unimportant to the story. He was there to support Abby only. I just wanted to dance on a table and cry "EUREKA!". Fun question: do any of you published authors get overexcited about your stories?

lol

[lavenderlass]

Great to read that Dixie! I'm really unexcited about my story at the moment, I don't know what it is but my writing seems to have gone back a decade. Do you think anyone woould mind if I posted a bit here? It is embarrasingly awful, but Leigh and you all are the only thing that might help.

Lynne.

[dixielandgrl]

Are you kidding? What else are we doing here? Post!

Gtg but I'll be around sometime today. Sounds like you need to recharge the old creative battery. What inspires you?

[ChristineM]

Never fear, we're here! As an educator I have to say that it's pretty normal to backslide. Sometimes you make these quantum leaps forward and others you read old stuff and think "how did I do this? Why can't I do it again?" You had been mentioning that you've learned a lot over the past few months, it could be that your brain needs time to master the skills and it appears to be difficult simply because you're not growing at such a huge rate. And sometimes even fun is work.

Post away.

[tibool]

i believe that are deepesse fear its trust because we can never let go what happen in the past and its make love harder to see the bright side and the beauty of it

[HoplessRomantic]

LOVE SCENE DILEMA GIRL
Okay,
The cat in the first paragraph you can do more with her. Is the character envious of the felines knocked up status? Or envious that the pathetically unatractive feline is able to have sex while she an attractive woman is solo
Then we get to the lunch...Whty is she doing it? What inspires her? Is it the knocked up cat? Are they having a conversation...Like Heroine picks up Ann the young cat whose full name was Raggedy Ann because of her matted and meshed appearance and realizes the homley stray is knocked up. "What are we going to do with you." Heroine asks starring into the cats surprissingly intelligent gaze. "Homeless and knocked up. I bet it was that tom cats doing. Hes no good. Standing there with his grey full coat and compelling green eyes." Ann meowed. "I know hes attractive but there are men you fantasize about and their are men you sleep with."
Yoyu get my point Right? Anns cat should have similarties to Heroines Love interest. That will get heroine thinking about Xy.
This seems increadibly stupid now that I look at what I wrote...Feel free to ignore

Aspen