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Frequent Contributor
HoplessRomantic
Posts: 94
Registered: ‎08-03-2007
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Would like to see if this teaser intro has merit

Hi Guys I hope you enjoy this and even more that you have something to say about it.
Love,
Aspen

Crap! Crap! Crap! Mental note to self, ask Eric to teach you in the fine art of cursing. For if there was ever a proper time for cursing like a sailor that time was now.
She had been running for what seemed like forever and still every tap of her 4 inch heels was echoed by the heavy thump of boots.
"Stop!" The ax murderer yelled. Yea, like that was going to happen!
"Will you stop!" The voice was too close. Pushing herself she managed to regain her lead. Wishing she had a couple seconds to remove her heels, but the glint in the goons steel blue eyes before taking off told her he wouldn't honor a time out. He was going to rape her. Rape her and murder her, cutting her in tiny pieces and sprinkle the remains down Broadway. She needed to stop reading the newspaper even if the hard hitting reporter who wrote "The Broadway Slasher" was a beloved sister.
Where was everyone? Wasn't this the city that never sleeps? In her six block sprint she did not come across anyone that would fill in as her knight in shining armor. He like everyone else seemed to have better things to do then save a damsel. Not one friendly policeman or even a down on her luck prostitute loitered the streets.
The fall was sudden and brutal. Her head slammed into the concrete. The face of the goon hovered over her. His dark brown hair stylishly framed his chiseled face. He was rather handsome for a murderer she thought as she gave into unconsciousness
"Damn" he cursed as she lost consciousness. Lifting her small body was not a hardship, what to do with her was. The streets were blessedly vacant. He knew she lived in an apartment a short block from where she fell but that was the first place they would look for her. No he couldn't take her there. His hotel was five blocks back. Getting her there wouldn't be difficult but getting past a hotel lobby holding an unconsciousness woman who had obviously endured head trauma was. **bleep**.
Shifting her so he could access his cell phone in his jean pants he hit speed dial 1. "Jeff, I am going to need that ID sooner then I thought."
â It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.â Said by Mrs. Bennet in Jane Austens Pride and Prejudice
Frequent Contributor
ISHON
Posts: 36
Registered: ‎01-20-2007
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Re: Would like to see if this teaser intro has merit

hello,
I liked your intro. It started really great. Is the Hero a cop?
It made me want to read more. :smileyhappy:
Hope you have time to check out my post, the was tilted "writing sample" it was a few months back so you'll have to go back a bit.
let me know what you think.
Frequent Contributor
HoplessRomantic
Posts: 94
Registered: ‎08-03-2007
0 Kudos

Re: Would like to see if this teaser intro has merit

Unfortunately I have gottn lazy and tied up in school. So I have not really done anything with it. I mean I defined my outline and now have a pretty good visual on where things end up but it will probably be firmly on my back burner till summer.
Thanks for your input.
Love,
Aspen
â It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.â Said by Mrs. Bennet in Jane Austens Pride and Prejudice
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