dixielandgrl-plotting excercise

[dixielandgrl]

Here goes:

Plot 1- Lauralynn and Eddie have known each other before. He was training, and she was nineteen. They have a short romance, until he takes off and is never heard of again. Now he’s back in a desk job. Lauralynn has to telll him he had a daughter 15 years ago, Audrey. Audrey has no idea that her father just disappeared. Lauralynn really needs to understand why he just left and starts pumping him for information only to find out that it’s all highly classified material and he can’t tell her. I am still working on the external conflict. I was thinking that it should center around the daughter wanting to go into the Army. Of course, Mom is against it for obvious reasons. Eddie just wants to be her father and make up for the missed years. Lauralynn realizes she still loves Eddie but can’t stand the military way of life- secrecy, espirit de corp which she sees as put unit above family. She blames the Army for Eddie’s taking off. My problem is how to reveal pieces of his classified job without his telling her and being a very bad little soldier. Or she has to accept that she can’t have an explanation which is hard for me to imagine.

Plot 2- In Your Philosophy- This would be a story spun from Sometimes in the Dark. A hapless Philosophy professor and colleague of Gerald Kohl’s, has his beliefs rooted deeply in logic, but he likes a girl- Kiley Anderson, a basically normal brainiac- but she has his attention. He asks Gerald to let him tag along on a paranormal investigation , in order to get to know Kiley. Kiley believes from personal experience in evil and that there is more to understand in the world. She also thinks Paul Wright is very wrong, about the world and about dating her. She thinks they have basic imcompatabilities of Faith and perspective. Since Kiley woke up from what can only be called an unexplained coma, she ‘s known things, had visions of things she cannot explain-monsters, demons and those who have fought them over the centuries. All she knows for sure is that she’s terrified. Paul is trying to find a reasonable explanation, until he gets sucked into a world where people really believe they have the mission to fight demons. Kiley has the memories of the demon that kept her comatose for days. Lucas Oswald wants the information iin her mind and has ways of getting it. Kiley and Paul find themselves abducted and held at the pleasure of Oswald until she relents and lets someone look at the memories, a psychic. Kiley insists that Eva has tried before and says no one can get the information without damaging her. Oswald is determined no matter what it does to Kiley’s mind. His obsession for fighting the unseen is destroying his humanity. Paul and Kiley have to get away from Lucas and get him the information he needs, in order to keep his paid psychic out of her head and her sanity intact. They are directed by Kiley’s friend, Abby, to New Orleans and it’s underground to look for someone to remove the information in Kiley’s mind safely. Paul learns about a world where rationallity plays no role and almost anything is possible. Throughout the journey, Kiley learns that she has her own role to play in the chaos. There are monsters rising and the location is trapped in her mind.

Plot 3- Believers- Also spun from Sometimes in the Dark ( I know. It’s an obsession) Gwen Dunklin has been part of the good fight from her childhood. She knew about demons and monsters from the tender age of 10. Since then, her uncle Lucas has trained her, honed her skills. She can detect demons in a room. She can detect anyone or anything with psychic power. Oswald calls her in frequently to recruit men and women to his cause. She’s being sent to Callum, Missouri to look at a farmer. It will be a wash. It’s only an unconfirmed report which is why her uncle needs her. When she gets there she learns something absolutely shocking, it isn’t Mark Lawler that is the psychic. It’s his six year old daughter. Gewn knows two things. One Mark loves his daughter and will die for her. Two her uncle may be powerful in the fight against evil, but he sucks at raising kids. She has to find a solution for Mark and Lilly which means she is now on the wrong side of her family and out on her own.

[ChristineM]

While I actually prefer one of the two spin offs, I would recommend going with the unrelated story. I wrote 2 books in the same universe (and got stuck about 25K into the third with notes for a 4th) and ended up leaving out big chunks of info because I knew it - why didn't the reader know it? I think if you take a break from your universe, when you go back, you'll have a better chance of not leaving out important information.

That said, these all look like highly workable plots. I think if you have Lauralynn become a detective, she'll figure things out and ask the right or wrong questions. I'm reading a Monk detective book right now and he's just identified a woman as being a recent immigrant from Georgia based on a tattoo in her back and the way her teeth are capped. If you present Lauralynn as being one of those people who has to know the whole story her conflict will be more realistic. And if it's something you can't imagine then it's going to be a struggle to come up with an acceptable resolution. I also think you're going to have a subplot of Audrey finding out that her dad up and vanished. A secret like that won't keep when all the players are on stage.

[dixielandgrl]

You are right. That Sub plot is bound to be the elephant in the room. Of my two spin off plots, I prefer Believers. In fact, my fingers are itching to get to it. I don't know if I can wait, Christine. I think this one may be practice and that one's the real book.

[LeighMichaels]

Dixie, I think you should write the book that's calling to you, rather than choosing one that for some reason looks easier (like the contemporary). A book we don't love isn't easy to write, even if it might seem to be less of a task when we start out!

That said, let me go back to Lauralynn and Eddie for a minute. I think you've found one of the few modern reasons that's fairly believable about how a couple can split up with a baby on the way with the father not knowing that she's pregnant; the mother not telling the dad; and both of them still remaining heroic figures. That's not easy, so congratulations on that!

Where I have a problem with this plot is when he comes back. Why doesn't he say, "Look, I'm military; what I was doing is classified; I can't tell you the details because I can't tell ANYBODY the details"? and why isn't that enough for her? These are adults. I'm not seeing why it's a continued problem, especially now that (1) he's in a desk job so it's not going to happen again and (2) presumably he's said, "Gee, I'm sorry you were left in the lurch like that, I'd have given anything for it not to happen." It seems like that would be the end of this particular problem. Lauralynn just doesn't seem very grown up, here.

Regarding your Believers plot -- just one quick comment. You've said Gwen "can detect anyone or anything with psychic power." -- that prompts me to warn that paranormal characters are most believable and compelling when there are practical, plausible limits on their powers. Perhaps Gwen isn't as all-powerful as this snippet makes her sound, but the more human she is, and the more limits there are on her power, the more at risk she'll be and the more gripping her story will be for readers.

Happy writing,
Leigh

[lavenderlass]

Hi Dixie, I've been away for a few days so just seen your post. That looks like 3 really good plots there.

I couldn't add to the comments you've already, which are excellent, but I'm looking forward to reading more, it is lovely when a plot is calling you as yours is.

Lynne.

[dixielandgrl]

Leigh,

Thanks. Those plots are so not thought out completely. Thanks for pointing out the paranormal powers snippet. That's the one I've thought on least, so I will definitely be incorporating the suggestion.

Poor Lauralynn and Eddie. That's the problem exactly. He couldn't tell her, and she doesn't like that. There doesn't seem to be any good resolution to that. It's part of loving a military man, so they seem doomed. I can't reason out anything to help them either. The grown up answer would be she shouldn't marry any man in the Army.

The desk job I had given him was going to be (I think) temporary due to a wound or trauma, so he would be deploying again at some point. Causing both of them to make some choices. Hers, to deal with it. His, retirement. You know I think they just weren't meant to be. lol

[lavenderlass]

Aw, Dixie you can't just leave them like that! I was trying to put my counsellors hat on, maybe she sees it as a no-win situation and that is a big, black moment, but she goes for counselling who helps her adjust. Or maybe he tells her, over a period of time, what his real, deep inside, meaningful motive is for continuing to fight she can adjust. Maybe he saw a child hurt my enemy mortar fire, or it was a friend or relative of his and he just can't rest until he's banished the bad guys or he has to set the record straight about a friend of his. Maybe if she understands his drive she can live with it (perhaps reluctantly) until he's sorted it and got it out of his system!Then she knows he loves her and can be fully hers forever!

Lynne.

[lavenderlass]

Just another thought Dixie, if the task that he (I forget his name, your US names aren't always the same as ours and I forget them) has set himself is both a high stress task emotionally and physically very dangerous, you have a great tension inducing, dramatic plot there where we sit on the edge of our seat all the way through, hoping he makes it.

Lynne.

[dixielandgrl]

That's not bad. I was thinking of putting him on the way to retirement. So one last thing to do before he's done. Soldiers are able to retire at full pension at 20 years and there's a point thing, but that's a thought. One more bad guy or one more mission. Hmmmm.

[dixielandgrl]

I wanted to ask too, Leigh or anybody really, on making Gwen more human. My thought was that all she could do is detect. Other than that she is totally on her own. I thought I'd make up for the lack with a little Tai kwan do. What do you think?

[lavenderlass]

I've got a feeling Leigh is away this week but I know she's back by next wednesday because the new course starts then. I think that would be a better plot with Gwen a bit more enabled, but I might not be the best person to ask, I'm so engrossed in Harlequin at the moment.

You've got a lovely selection of plots to choose from for the future now though!

Lynne.

[LeighMichaels]

Hi, Dixie --

I think giving Eddie a desk job on the way to retirement is an example of making things too easy for our characters -- which is a tendency we all have. I think it's because we don't like trouble, pain, and conflict in real life, so we have a tendency to arrange things more nicely for our characters. Trouble is, when things are easy for them, the story's not exciting. The more problems, and the deeper they get, the more involved the reader is in the story.

Now that I read through the discussion again I see that the desk job was a temporary thing -- and that's not a bad plot device. Lauralynn thinks he's back home to stay, but he hasn't told her he'll be deploying again. (Maybe he doesn't know, or maybe there's a reason why he thinks he doesn't need to tell her -- if he believes there's no hope of them getting together then telling her would only cause a fight.) So that does make a good black moment.

Making Gwen more human -- I think putting some limits on her parnormal powers is the key there. Rather than having her able to easily detect anything that's off-kilter, maybe she gets flashes but can sometimes misinterpret them. Or maybe certain things block her detection powers. If she's made a mistake in the past, then her own self-doubt will be a limiting factor. All of those things bring her closer to the ordinary human, and make her more sympathetic to the reader. Of course she can do tae kwan do too, but if she's an expert in that as well it will make her less like the reader, and again move her away from being a character we can relate to.

Does that help?

I'm glad to be back in the regular schedule -- though I was here, I had house guests for a few days, and have been working hard on finishing up a book project with my husband, so though I've been looking in I've delayed answering. Nice to know I've been missed.

Happy writing,
Leigh

[dixielandgrl]

Very good. Yes, you are missed. Hope the guests were fun and the clean up easy. Sounds like an old Irish proverb. lol

Thanks for the plotting devices. I'm having more trouble with Abigail and Clay, so it may be years before Gwen even gets seen. It's like there's a character waiting room.

I've hit a spot in chapter nine where I just don't know what to do next. I know it's time to start setting up that black moment. Here's a question. How far into Hell do we put them? I find myself second guessing my more dramatic spots. Is this my weird thing? Please tell me everybody does it. I don't wanna be a neurotic writer. It's the emotion I guess. I'm better when I go back and put more in, just sketching the action first, but I choke on the jumps. You know where drama needs to be added to the plot. I think I am afraid it will sound melodramatic, so I go with less is more which , of course, isn't always the case if you want an exciting plot. Has anyone else had this problem?

[ChristineM]

The problem with "less is more" is that it's usually just less. I like to go all out and wait for someone to say "oh, come on." Wait until you get to the end of Rockstar on Gather. I've always felt that melodrama happened when you can't beleive those characters are feeling those emotions. If your characters are still believable, it'll work.

Write as if no one is going to read it.

[lavenderlass]

Glad you had a good few days Leigh! I hope the house guests were the easy sort, and that you get a holiday sometime.

That's my problem too Dixie, I'm conscious of sounding melodramatic and go with less too often. I think Christine is right, it will help I'm sure to write as if no-one is going to read it. My other tactic was to think of my ex every time then I get loads of really gruesome ideas!

I've just got a wee question, I'm writing the first draft of my second book really badly just in order to get the story down and that feels great. But there are a couple of scenes where I've got to have 3 characters on the 'stage', hero a dr, heroine a social worker, and a sulky teenager who is a patient. When I write the dialogue in rough it sounds like a game of ping-pong. How do I make it better?

I've also been thinking it's got to be a good opportunity for crafting good dialogue, because they will contrast especially being so close. I guess I need to write it in full, but won't get to it for a few days as we pick up our new puppy tomorrow!

Hasn't anyone anything we can critique?

Lynne.

[dixielandgrl]

The simplest solution to me seems like adding action or thought in the mix to break the dialogue. Not too much, just enough. My favorite break up action is something habitual, tapping a finger nervously or something that is a gesture of the character. Abby wrinkles her nose every now and again. It's her, something she does under certain conditions. Hope that suggestion gives you an idea or two. Good luck.

[ChristineM]

I suppose if it really is ping pong between 2 of the characters, the third could break in and say "hey, can we get back to the subject?" I'm constantly breaking into things between students and saying, ok, let's quit flirting and get back to work.

[LeighMichaels]

Both are good ideas -- using actions and having two characters speaking for a while, then the third one breaking in. Another technique is varying styles of speech -- typically if a man and a woman are talking, she'll use more words and longer sentences, so you can create a contrast by simply having his speeches be very short and to the point. For instance:

~~~~

"I like the periwinkle, myself, but I wonder if it isn't too much for the room, along with all the new furniture. On the other hand, now's the time to do it all up fresh. What do you think of this color?"

"It's okay."

~~~~

I'm betting you have no trouble figuring out who said what, there...

Leigh

[lavenderlass]

Thanks so much, those are excellent suggestions! I also had another really good idea whilst driving yesterday, (I find driving really good for getting ideas somehow!)

Another tendency of mine has been to write exactly how things happen in social work, so my teenager was being admitted through casualty as they would. Then I thought it would be so much more fun if the social worker was telephoned by a friend of the teenager who told her she was in trouble as she was lying in a stupor in a garage having run away from her alcholic father. They they rush and rescue her, tell the father that she is trying to escape from his drinking, (he's a single dad) and that prompts him to stop drinking.

It seems a much more dramatic way to tell the same story, which I think will make the dialogue easier and more readable, because I can use all those things to make the dialogue better, it should really sparkle when I've done it. I'll post it here in a couple of days, if no-one minds. I'm just really exhausted through driving, and had another little side-line to add to my plot soon too, so I don't forget either.

Thanks loads for your help, Lynne.